Tfw I literally don't have the balls to live life the way I want

>tfw I literally don't have the balls to live life the way I want
>feel like I have to read shitloads of boring old books or else people will call me a pleb
>feel like I have to go through SICP even when I find it boring
>took me over 6 months to grind through Nicholas Nickleby and the Brothers Karamazov- they were boring as fuck
>procrastinating reading great expectations- halfway through and it's boring as fuck

I truly believe that my tastes reflect much more intelligence than some stupid "literary intellectual's" citation circlejerk idea of brothers Karamazov having "profound insights". I feel like I will always be trapped in to reading stuff I am told to read even though I believe that boredom is an incredible bullshit detector.

It's so demoralising to realise that women have everything handed to them with preferential treatment and career success is 99 % networking, fitting in with normies, being judged by normie committees, and bullshitting. How can anyone give a fuck? It's near impossible.

I wish I had the type of autism that let me work on one thing for 10 hours in a row. I resent my lack of will to do this.

Coffee ruins my sleep and therefore gym strength. I will have to give it up soon and what will I have left to do when my main hobby is sitting around in public to feel less alone, drinking coffee, browsing Sup Forums, feeling sad about life? Barely anything.

>when you randomly make eye contact with a woman and she has that blank expression and you know deep down she is thinking, "Ewww, he's not Chad, get away from me creep!"

I read history books on my phone on train rides. I'm not sure whether this "efficiency" of reading in spare minutes is dehumanising or smart.

Great blog, guy.

>How can anyone give a fuck? It's near impossible.
It used to be possible, that's why they give a fuck.

now they're brainwashed into thinking the system actually works. it does not it is IMPOSSIBLE to support yourself. Factually mathematically and demonstrably impossible. Jobs are a trick. The economy is designed to drain your money and kill you. Only on welfare can you survive, and whites are too proud (and even if we change. we won't be allowed to get on). that's the game. that's how they're gonna kill us.

instead of reading fairytales you might want to look for books like the 38 laws of power

>feel like I have to read shitloads of boring old books or else people will call me a pleb
>took me over 6 months to grind through Nicholas Nickleby and the Brothers Karamazov- they were boring as fuck
Take a free online speed-reading course. That's what I did. I absorb more of the content now than before, and I love reading, whereas before I hated it. Give it a try before you bash it.

How can you not recognize the genius of Dostoevsky? Perhaps you need to review the history of that time. It helps to appreciate his works.

>whites are too proud
>that's how they're gonna kill us

I feel like you couldn't think about anything to say, so you just went with turning it into "muh white race". Come back when you're tired of pretending to belong on /pol.

Wait till you reach the level of enlightenment where not only do full grown ass adults leave their children unattended by you, they expect you to raise them for them and feel insulted by their entitlement to your influence.

this is not politics. go post on /adv. oh wait, you already have. fucking shill, neck yourself

you can stop being a miserable piece of shit that is bored by things you just have to do it

Doing SICP on your own sounds tough. Doing it for credit (btdt decades ago because it was required) was tough enough.

And I never used that stuff at work either.

What do you find interesting? Forget money at the moment, if you could do what you wanted and be paid for it, probably besides playing computer games or jacking off, what would it be?

I quit my job and started my own business. Made my first deal last week and since then I've had two more. From about a £1000 invested I've made £3400.

If you don't want to do that, a mate of mine teaches English abroad. He finished university and spent a year in Austria. Then he went to Chile, then Uruguay. Then he got an MA back home. He picked up other skills, like bar work and diving. He'll just go somewhere, get a job in a school and then do other work on the side. He probably does a 30 hour week in total but has a good income and no pressures.

Stop drinking coffee. Get yourself somewhere. Forget about normies.

Call me insane, but I'd like money to be deposited into my account for the amount of surveillance I'm under due to my sheer amount of ego which seems minuscule compared to the amount of acting I could do.

I want a hundred dollars every time I scribble down a poem in my private journal. Including but limited to the poems I've already written.

I want a thousand dollars for every Sup Forums post I contribute.

Do something different. Try not to let anybody else define your happiness or slam you over the head with a bike lock.

Honestly i have read some really shitty books everyone loves and some good books that are obviously really shitty. Read what makes you interested and interesting. Thats all.

I want a million dollars for every key I push.

*knocks on glass*

I'd want that too, but it might be insane to expect it to happen, unless you have some plan to make it happen.

Devil in the details.

It's impossible to make money anonymously.

Go through a few proxies w/e a bank account number is always tied to an identity and nobody leaves cash lying around expecting it to be a payment.

Maybe a universal bitcoin charity account that automatically tumbles and distributes to a network of wallets... evenly...

Blah, here I go again... wasting my words... wasting my time...

What's more valuable anyway?

yes.
fuck yes.
rip me off bro. just take my fucking money

I'm not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Someone else program that shit.

All I know is communism for some reason where my heart ended up.

>99 % networking, fitting in with normies, being judged by normie committees, and bullshitting. How can anyone give a fuck? It's near impossible.
I did it by realizing that bullshitting with people and making connections is purely in your own interest. So be nice to people for the sake of being selfish.

How to be a justified psychopath, summed up in one sentence.

Nicely done.

DO IT
REINCARNATE AS A NIGGER
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH