Fellow Americans. Why are you not using a bidet? Why do you continue to throw money at the toilet paper Jew...

Fellow Americans. Why are you not using a bidet? Why do you continue to throw money at the toilet paper Jew? Explain yourselves

I don't want water squirting my anus, I'll pass.

Been thinking about it, I hate buying the paper for a life time.
I heard it makes you feel like a new man.

I for one like walking around with thin veneer of greasy poo across my butt crack.

>use bidet
>it shoots estrogen water directly into the anus

This explains so much about the state of the modern European.

is there any good cheap water bottle attachment ones?

there's some lobbying or something to stop them from coming over.

in a land were capitalism is king you would think you have the option to buy them for super expensive amounts of cash

but you don't at most stores

> (OP) (You)
>Been thinking about it, I hate buying the paper for a life time.
>I heard it makes you feel like a new man.
Feels good man. Got to admit. I feel like a fucking Neanderthal when I have to shit at work and just wipe with paper.

Ask yourself this. If you got mud smeared on your head, would you just wipe it out of your hair with a paper towel?

I have to say, I lived in Thailand for 4 years and HAD to use a bidet, the one that looks like the plate sprayer in your sink.

When iIcame back to the States I felt disgusting. Felt like you never got your ass clean, because well you dont.

Water splashing in that area from, say, the impact of a dropping is unpleasant enough.

I'm sure I could get used to it but here's the thing: real americans who don't like the idea of shit residue around their ass don't spray water at it and call it a day. No, what they do is buy an extremely decadent baby wipe and wipe not just until the wipe is good enough to eat off of but until there an ever-so-faint brush of blood can be seen.

That is the way of the WASP in the 21st century. So disturbed by the cultural and intellectual and, indeed, physical contamination of the environment they will develop OCD. Severe OCD, even. They will become literally anally retentive and when they wipe their asses theirs will be the cleanest for many miles.

If you think a bidet means no toilet paper you're an idiot. Are you just gonna walk around with a wet ass all day?

Why are there so many fags in Europe?
It couldn't be from liking the feeling of water hitting their a-hole could it?

lot of money in hemorrhoid and anal fissure treatment

That probably has more to do with toilet heighth

>not using both ideas and lightly moistening toilet paper with water to make it more effective at cleaning
I'd still prefer dry toilet paper over just splashing water on my ass and having wet shit run down my legs and all over my underwear. How do you even get fucking clean with just water, cause I'm sure as fuck not using my bare hands to touch literal shit.

Europeans don't use bidets, maybe except some islamic balkan shitholes.

I tried to install a bidet and I fucking broke my toilet water valve and now I have no bidet and my valve has been leaking slowly for months.

>There are people who enjoy their anus being sprayed by water
Don't know about americans but i have never seen a bidet in my life in eastern europe.

>be me
>on the toilet right now
>have a shattaf installed

I doubt you eastern subhumans have even seen a fucking toilet.

>falling for the sprays-water-up-your-ass jew

This is the kind they have in Thailand.. Once you get use to it, takes about 3 times, it's quick and really clean.

This is well written and accurate

You know that thing doesn't get all the shit off your ass. Only some of it and makes the rest get damp and smear as you walk. If you want a clean ass then use quality toilet paper to wipe, after there's nothing to wipe fold some toilet paper over and run it under hot water in the sink for half a second, then give your ass one more wipe.

You'll be cleaner than an American or European.

falling for the toilet jew. take the shower pill and just relieve yourself when you take a shower and just squash it into the drain hole with your feet.

it's the only way to truly stay clean, save water and not get any form of butt hole staining.

falling for the toilet jew and calling yourself red pilled

>falling for the hydro jew

Ew, you use both toilet paper and a bidet, Americans never seem to get this. If you get shit on your arm you both wipe it and wash it right?

wow type in amazon.com and find a bidet attachment

so hard

Just bought one on amazon, cheap also.
The bidet has nothing but great reviews.
I can't wait to shit with this thing!

This. It really sucks bidets don't exist in Northern Europe/America

Best toilets are Japanese though. Wish I had a Toshiba or Panasonic toilet desu.

Don't bully my toilet.

>he fell for the electronic toilet jew
c'mon

does anyone else do what I do. just poop in the shower and squash it down the drain and focus the water correctly so you don't really have to squash much with your feet and take in a few wash cloths that are really thin designed for baby skin and clean yourself straight away so you always have a clean butt hole?

You fuckin dip shit, just use your last remaining brain cells and think about the possibilities.
You could use very little toilet paper to dry your asshole off, or you could purchase many small face cloths/towels and just wash them.
I have to assume it's only normal to wash your ass when you take a shower and after said shower would you not dry your asshole off with your towel ?
Step out of your box, unless you like being jewed?

So fucking gay, tickling your ass with a jet of water.
Doubt they'd even spray hard enough to give a real clean.
Baby wipes are the true redpill

Shit man, plumbing 101. You should know this shit as well as everyone here. If you don't, how the hell are you ever gonna survive?

I do. I bought one of those water picks from Walmart. I hooked it up to the toilet and just put it up my butt whenever I flush and boom I'm full of toilet water

>Leaf is legitimately angry because someone doesn't conceive the brilliance of having liquid shot up their asshole

Made me laugh burger!

LOl You don't shoot it up your ass.. jesus
You clench your anus and clean it off

lol

>letting AIDS shoot right up your ass hole

>Unironically defending hydro molestation

Come here, let me clean the corners of your mouth

It wasn't the bidet, it was the corroded valve that I shouldn't have touched. Now I'm just too lazy to fix it.

that's not a bidet

Guys, are you literally touch your bum hole under the shower to get it clean???

It's the Sodomy Shitter 2000

...

Real Americans get up in there with Clorox and one of these. All the way past the large intestines into the spleen. That last curve is a bitch, we call it the Thames.

>We call it the Thames
Top fucking kek lad

I'm quite surprised by this myself, I mean you chop part of your dick off because you can't be arsed to clean it so why haven't you got a jet wash shooting water up your arse?

Can confirm. And when he says it's a bitch, he means it.

I remember when, after using a bad brushing technique for a couple of months as a kid, I got a pretty tough infection in the upper intestine near the spleen. My hardass mother, being a 'live and learn' kind of woman just told me "them's the Thames"

I eventually grew up and stopped brushing that way.

I use psyllium husk (aka Metamucil), I never need to wipe it's glorious.

>Burger trying to imagine what having a culture is like and embarrassing himself in the process
You still use toilet paper, bidet is only to get it extra fresh and clean.

Nip toilets are the future

dribbling some water over your pooey anoose doesn't clean it properly i just spit on the paper and get that bitch shining like a nickel

Digits force an admission.
I am a wipe until it bleeds type of person.
I have never had streaks in my underwear. Ever.
Not since I shat in diapers.
Fastidious wiping is the only wiping.

i wash my ass in the shower my spreading my cheeks to rinse, the get the soap bar and rub it through my crack and over my ass hole then my finger slips in my ass hole but its covered in soap so its cleaning it

> shit
> wipe the gunk off with toilet paper
> use the bum gun
> lather some soap to thoroughly sanitize the area (preferably liquid soap so no hand contact)
> rinse using the bum gun
> dry the area with some toilet paper
> wash your hands with soap
> use alcohol or sanitizer
This process wouldn't take more than 3 minutes.

Ya'll talking about saving the white race and shit, but you can't even take care of your ass (literally).

this

Fun fact: Japan owns America's toilet manufactures or close to owning them all.

Just wait until the day when Japan orders regular toilets to stop being produced.

>take a shit
>take a shower
>rub your anus a bit while in shower
problem solved

Baby wipe master race .

They are also cheap as fuck

>Ask yourself this. If you got mud smeared on your head, would you just wipe it out of your hair with a paper towel?
My head is a tad more visible than my ass, and my nose is on it, it's an entirely different issue. Same issue as foot hygiene, you take care of it with a daily shower.

Now maybe you want to learn how to wipe properly. I'd rather wipe than rince without soap.

Men don't use them, women do. That's why bidet is called pillupuhelin (pussy phone) in Finland.

That is a very important insight. I can't believe I had not thought of that before, it's so obvious. And you can't really easily masculinize it, either, can you? He who cares minimally about the cleanness of his ass is he who has better things to worry about i.e. a real man.

This changes everything. It puts a very big part of my life into better focus. Real men don't really care too much about a clean ass and shouldn't. Holy shit.

>travel to the Philippines
>go to shit
>it's a fucking dry toilet like the ones on an air plane
>there's a small bottle of water that you're supposed to use to help it flush when your done
>there's no toilet paper
>you're supposed to use the water on your ass like a manual bidet, then use your left hand to get any leftovers
I've never felt more uncultured. It's like I was getting raped

If you got mud smeared on your head you'd lightly splash it with water? If you think a trickle of water up your asscrack cleans it instantly you probably smell like shit.

This is why I always carry a pack of tissues when I travel

Us americans

Oy veeey


Shut it down

>not lubing your asshole with a dab of vaseline every day so the shit slides out smooth and clean and barely even requires a single wipe

made me cringe, good job