License and registration, please

>License and registration, please

What does Sup Forums do?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=t-32-m0_-Sg
youtube.com/watch?v=qO6WcyMVxwo
youtu.be/0EOJ_nLb03M?t=1
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

Here you go

Sure thing, Trooper. I need to tell you first I am legally carrying and will leave my hands on the wheel and await your instructions.

>here's the registration and my license is in my back pocket sir
>drive off with a warning that brake light was out

Literally what happened last week

Give him my insurance card and liscense and then ask him,
"What thread are you sliding sir?"
Then i would proceed to sage in all fields.

I'M A SOVEREIGN CITIZENREEEEE

i give my sovereign citizen speech that i've been practicing

I say "yessir, and good morning by the way", hand him my license (which I already had ready to go because I'm a white person and therefore I actually have one), and I tell him that my registration is in the glove box under my gun, and that he's perfectly welcome to get it out himself, all the while keeping my hands in sight

I've done this plenty of times and never been killed by the cops, not even once

FUCK U CRAKA BANG BANG BANG

AM I BEING DETAINED
AM I BEING DETAINED
AM I BEING DETAINED

cry and say i'm xannied out, hope he takes me to his home and fixeds me

why i'm being pulled over?

I'm a travler I don't need a licence

Put on my cool face.

It's sad when the slide threads are better than the /x/-tier bullshit plaguing Sup Forums.

I AM NOT DRIVING MY CAR I AM TRAVELING IN MY VEHICLE

Fuck it's been a long time since I've seen that line used.

That never happens with me. No matter how respectful I act, the cops always give me a hard time. They run my record then immediately ask for consent to search my truck. If I decline, they'll threaten to call a k9 unit. No I'm not a nigger either in case you were wondering.

Tell him you have a firearm then keep reaching for shit trying to find your ccw license as he's pleading with you to stop but it's okay because you tell him you have it legally and you're just trying to find your ccw license.

>they're in the glove box, under my gun. I'd be much more comfortable with you looking them up but I do have my driver's license.
>Yes sir
>No sir
>Talk to my attorney

That is as far as you should ever go verbally. His job is to put you in jail, not help you. Don't make his job easier.

>tonight on COPS

Don't act like one of these.

youtube.com/watch?v=t-32-m0_-Sg

yes sir, my registration is in my center console and my license is in my back pocket. do I have your permission to reach for them now?

>respect police and show you know how to act.
>be on my way in under 5 min.

How is this even a fucking legit question? Exactly what you said is how it goes down. Hands go to 10 & 2, officer is educated on my personal firearm and its location, as well as the location of license and registration. I've only ever had an officer remove the handgun from me, the other two times the officer thanked me for being upfront, and once I was given a warning, the other was for speeding (I was going 110 in a 55, on the way to an emergency at 3am, and the officer couldn't have been nicer. He reduced the ticket to 65 in a 55).
I really don't understand how being a decent fucking person to the guy just doing his job is that damn hard.

here.

AM I BEING DETAINED OR AM I FREE TO GO?

I hand him my license and registration. What do you think I am, a nigger?

yo fuck this shit dawg, I'm gettin tired of all thees racist ass white cops pullin me over all the time
*reaches for glove department*

Man, fuck you cracker ass cracker. I din do nuffin. Bitch I'm gonna fuck you up.

AM I UNDER ARREST? AM I FREE TO GO? AM I FREE TO GO? AM I FREE TO GO?

"I was just on my way home"

>License and registration please.
Here you are, sir.
>Did you know your brake light wasn't working?
Really? Gosh, no I didn't. I guess I'll have to head down to Lordco for a new lamp straight away.
>Guess so. Thanks for your time, sir. Get that light fixed ASAP, alright?
Absolutely, officer. Have a good afternoon.

>May I ask why you pulled me over?
>Speeding? Well alright, I guess I was going a little fast on that hill.
>*handing things intensifies*
>Thank you for the warning, I'll try to slow down.
>*driving away intensifies*

MAN I AIN'T FUCKIN DO NOTHIN

AM I BEING DETAINED
AM I BEING DETAINED
AM I BEING DETAINED

This is poh-leece btuyality,
Are you disrikpektin me,
Ill call my lawya,

That unregistered gun ain mine,
Ain mine, ain mine...

>tries to wrestle out of the car
>gets shot

He a good boy din do nuthin, story arc starts here...

Give him a pressed ham with gravy after donning some shades

AM I BEING DETAINED?

Good morning/afternoon/evening officer. I have my licence and registration in my wallet, it's in my middle console. Is it okay if i reach in and get it for you? Thanks for your patience, here you go.

This

I'm a modern urbanite. I don't drive, I uber

Pull over
Turn off car
Open window all the way
Hands on steering wheel.
Get warning or get ticket
Thank officer
Go to court and plead charge down.

13 second response time. Totally unacceptable when you see a coon with a 2x4 walking aggressively towards a buisness you are in the parking lot of.

>What does Sup Forums do?
detonate hi tech car bomb

I AM A SOVEREIGN CITIZEN. I HAVE A RIGHT TO PASS THROUGH HERE FREELY. YOUR LAWS HAVE NO JURISTICTION OVER ME

What i do is i ready all my shit, when he reaches my car i scroll down my window and hand him it all too him before he has to ask....
But then! Then i take up my camera, start filming and scream that i'm a free inhabitant and he has just stolen my current identity. I try to eject my car while praying i get arrested so i can upload it all to youtube and get more than 20 likes.

>*unzips penis*
>i'm sure there is another way, officer

Argue and get shot.
>babymamma sues
>win ghetto lottery
>kids get paid, babymamma gets Chanel bags

Keep both hands in plain sight

Never touch cop

Keep Ghetto Lottery in forefront of mind

> be white
> don't get shot

Some cops are just cunts. First time I was ever pulled over:
>out joyriding with my half Korean cousin
>car had no registration, no insurance, and had a dealer tag I stole from my boss
>go past a bar at 3am on way home
>get pulled over
>spin some bullshit yarn about how we replaced the axel and just testing it
>one cop becomes very confused how my cousin is asian
>separates and questions us
>same surname didn't tip him off apparently
>stick to the truth that he came back from deployment a few months prior
>they let us go
>ask for a warning card in case we get pulled over
>cop 1 actually says "you won't need it, everyone is busy with an armed robbery"

Reeeeee

>off'cer jaster! how y'all doin'?
>sheeeitdamn man y'all see dem polk high boys puttin' it to bc west last night? that johnston boy summelse ain't he?

>unzip fly
>pull a sexy little bit of scrote out
>put on my best "fuck me" chapstick
>set bottle of vaseline and hand lotion on passenger seat

exxxxxxxxxxxxCUSE me ossifer I didnt think pretty boys got ticketssssssss

>lick steering wheel
>keep eyes on police officer while deepthroat gear shifter

"Have you been drinking tonight sir?"
>proceed to give him a ticket, and leave in Police car sirens blaring

youtube.com/watch?v=qO6WcyMVxwo

blow up

I'm a white person, I cooperate with the police.

>be black
>obey the law
>don't get shot

...

So... You never go to school?

>Afternoon officer I am required by law to inform you I am legally carrying firearms in my vehicle and will remain still and await further instructions.

Has anyone here ever tried this? I wonder how cops react to that.

That gif. My fucking sides. I want to do that now.

Anyway I'd do what every white man on here has said already. Here ya go officer, guns in the glovebox if you're wondering, no I have no need to go there I already have the documents but if you want it I'll happily make it happen by unlocking the door.

>YOU HEARD HIM HES GOTTA GUN
>BLAM BLAM

Do you know who I am

I think that's more if one just stops you in the street and asks you shit.

drive by laughing

I AM A SOVEREIGN CITIZEN I DO NOT CONSENT

Wetback detected

the chick in the back just closing the door lmao

Am i being detained!!!!????

Lots of cucks ITT. Bootlicking is cucking, yes. I get that you're proud tha you aren't a nigger and therefore think you don't need to worry about cops because you don't victimize people, that's fine, but that's also why the cop has NO BUSINESS holding you up. None. Go solve a real crime, stop trying to extort me.
Cops kill way more unarmed whites than nigs, they arent your friend

>scroll down my window
can't even larp without reverting back to online life

>I-I have a firearm sir please don't shoot me
Cuck
Pop him for dering to obstruct you and drive home

>License and registration please
I always wondered what license they were looking for. You need a license to drive your car?

I work for the digital forensics branch of a PI firm. Sounds exciting but in reality it's the worst job on earth. Being "private," I basically get to look through phones and computers for domestic cases on a daily basis for the most mundane shit.

>divorce in progress. woman wants evidence that her husband watches porn.
>divorce in progress. dude is concerned his wife is sexting.
>ultra religious parents are concerned their children have found dissenting opinions online
>paranoid schizophrenic is convinced there is spyware on his phone/laptop/toaster and/or bugs in the house. there never is. they are always dissatisfied and write the company a bad review.

It's all the mundane monotony of real forensics with none of the fun.

The most interesting case I had was a literal autist middle-schooler (ordered a fedora from Amazon, ran a minecraft server out of his room) used a texting app to convince his parents that he was cyberstalking them. Acted like some kind of predator, kept threatening to kidnap himself, all because his autism was focused around stupid smart technology and he wanted the house covered in Nest cameras so he could play with them.

The parents were so scared they spend like $10,000 hiding in hotels, getting new vehicles, buying cameras, and keeping the kid hidden for months before contacting us. Cops didn't care.

The one satisfying part of my job was finding the login information for his texting app on his laptop, logging into the account with his parents, and sending him a text message saying he dun goofed and it was now time to sell his organs to make up for it.

>the pussy parents actually said "kiddo we love you, we know what you've been doing, and it has to stop," butI still like my idea better.

Wait do you faggots really just wait in the car? Get out and meet the cop half way like any respectable man would.
If the cop doesn't like it, he will flag you to stay in the car. Though most like it and take it as a sign of respect.

Now I realize what a fucking chad I am. I totally misunderstood the topic. I thought you meant "what does Sup Forums do?" as in a job, and you were saying you were a trooper.

The lack of Wendy's Pizza Artists should have been my first clue.

>he doesnt have a license to kill
cuck

...

>cops at the door post your cool face

MFW

Check'd for nostalgia.

Based mark

Hand over my license and registration in a calm and respectful manner. I also do my best to make the officer feel at ease. I stopped as soon as it was safe once I saw the lights and I made it very easy for the officer to assess the sitiation for any threat.
I do these things because I'm not a nigger.

Low effort bait, here's a (you)

You may think your job is boring, but it's what good greentext stories are made of.

>divorce in progress. woman wants evidence that her husband watches porn.
>ultra religious parents are concerned their children have found dissenting opinions online

How do you go about doing this?
Just email the isp?

>"License please"
>"Don't have one."
>..."Vehicle registration?"
>"The fuck's a vehail resuscitation?"

youtu.be/0EOJ_nLb03M?t=1

Sweet counterpoint fsmalam

>Y Y yes officer s s senpai please hold my gun if it makes you feel saferr!

KEK

Sage this shit thread and post the slide thread awareness picture so less people fall for this obvious shit.

Bitch with bag should have been tazed after one minute or so. I fucking hate women.

>hand over necessary papers
>small talk about cars
>be on my way
Worst case has only been a dead light
>drive 2nd gen MR2
>get pulled over regularly despite never breaking the law

Only niggers break the rules of the road, go to a track if you wanna have fun

>H h here's my anus, officer! Lubed up as you requested! H h hope you feel at ease! ... You want my wife's mouth pussy instead? O o OK whatever makes you feel safe!

How about fuck off you overgrown hall monitor

I show my license and registration, unless I know that they have no rights to see it, in which case I will grab my lawbook from a backseat and show them why they can't ask me for the license and registration.

WE ARE ALWAYS SUPER CEREAL 100% OF THE TIME GUISE! WE'RE THE ONLY ONES THAT CAN STOP THE EXTRA-DIMENSIONAL TRANNY SHAPESHIFTERS THAT BOIL NORMIES BRIANS WITH THEIR CHROMOSOMIAN ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION RAY GUN!

AAAAAHHHHHHHHH

My state is a joint-property state, so if you're married your stuff is legally your spouse's as well. I need physical access to image the device, so the disgruntled spouse brings in a computer or a phone and I take a bitstream image of it. I can analyze the image after the duplication process is complete. For most computers it's about a 24 hour turnaround, and for most phones it's maybe an hour. Sometimes they just take the spouse's phone off the nightstand, put in the mailbox, and I do it at 4AM with a Cellebrite laptop.

Then I index the data in FTK (uses dtSearch as a backend) and do a manual image review, or search for keywords. Typically the other party doesn't know until I give them the report.

It's honestly really stupid because it's also a no-fault state for divorce, so them watching porn seems to be more of a curiosity from really prudish wives, or as ammo they likely berate their husbands about.

>you like the traps!?
>you like the bbw?!
>who is this Sup Forums girl you keep texting?!

The harder you work, the worse your client feels.

>lol you thought he was having one affair, but he was actually fucking lots of dirty hookers too. oh, and a few claim to be pregnant.

Slow days I just fuck around on Sup Forums and wish I was anywhere but here.

Step 1. Drive nice car
Step 2. Be polite
Step 3. Don't be white or black
I've only gotten a ticket once and it was for running a stop sign. Multiple warnings.

Dont taze me bro

Joke's on you user. White and black cars get fewer tickets than more colorful ones.

>fucking 2am
>have an uninsured project car
>living at an apartment complex
>drive it 2.5 miles to a friend's place for other repairs
>take every neighborhood road and avoid major roads
>get pulled over, passing a neighborhood bar
>prep license and registration

"License and proof of insurance"

>fml.jpeg
>was as compliant as I could possibly be
>$375 citation, revoked license, car wasn't towed

That would be my first offence.

>hurr durr i came here during the 2016 election and think that Sup Forums is a serious board all the time
>>>/reddit/