Why do you hate me Sup Forums?

Why do you hate me Sup Forums?

because I'm autistic

Because you're autistic.

I fucking hate snakes

I hate shit girls

I don't hate you.

Best monogatari.

best OP behind nekomonogatari

I don't hate you, I just want to impregger you.

You do bad things to my dick.

Snake doesn't challenge RRRG or encourage him to be better in any way, she just wants to hop on his cock.
That's the reason I liked crab in Bake, she's super hardcore supportive, but recently has gotten a little too soft

Because you remind me of myself.
I also love you.

a second best

Your entire shtick is that you are a bland and normal girl good for nothing more than being objectified into something greater by others. You character development literally only explained how you play into that image while hating being treated that way. The one "independent" action you took was the second most vile act in the series (nothing beats Kaiki selling info on Tsukihi knowing full well that Kagenui will kill her).

Boring, shitty snake

Because you are worst girl and you somehow managed to also get the worst fanbase, which is super fucking impressive given each girl has it's fair share of retards.

Also people who like Snake miss the point of her character completely.

>nothing beats Kaiki selling info on Tsukihi knowing full well that Kagenui will kill her

>tolerating apparitions to exist

How can I hate the best girl?

>(nothing beats Kaiki selling info on Tsukihi knowing full well that Kagenui will kill her).

Not sure what the issue is. Senjougahara and Araragi threatened a man and ran him out of town for his actually legal business.
It's not like you can prove oddities exist nor that they are a result of a conman's intentions.

Kaiki mentioned there is strength in numbers. It's just that his numbers include Godzilla.

In a side note. The irony of Shinobu talking shit about Kaiki being "an amateur exorcist" is fucking hilarious considering he's a pretty top-tier exorcist for oddities which heavily rely on personality rather than something physical IE Weight Crab and Rainy Devil.

Kaiki would have easily been able to solve the Rainy Devil issue had he been in town when Kanbaru needed help.
The fact he also was absolutely instrumental in stopping the Swamp God using second-hand information about a girl he barely knows is also that much more impressive.

Kaiki doesn't believe in oddities, he sold fake information to a deranged killer that would cause her to target an innocent child. I love Kaiki and all, but holy shit.

The only way it could possibly be forgiven is if he knew all along that Koyomi would drive Kagenui off and used the entire event as a ruse for getting him into contact with Kagenui and Yotsugi. That's the only thing close to a positive outcome, besides that night when Koyomi railed Teenobu with the fury of a thousand dicks.

>Not sure what the issue is
m8 he conspired to kill a child because her brother interfered with a petty school yard scam.

I thought kaiki only pretended to not believe in oddities.

>Kaiki doesn't believe in oddities

Damn, Kaiki conned you good if you think Kaiki doesn't believe in oddities.
Did you come to that conclusion because he said he didn't believe in them?

It's not exactly like Yozuru was wrong. All Oddities inherently need to act a certain way or else they get eaten up by the Darkness.
An oddity that becomes human-like is a massive liability to everyone around them, we know the Darkness just straight eats villages in the hunt for lying oddities.

Yozuru also pointed out that Tsukihi would abuse the fuck out of her powers to become a hero, which is fucking dumb because if people found out she was immortal then more oddities would be created and more work would be created for the exorcists and more humans would be fucked over because there aren't enough exorcists to keep up.

>Implying Kaiki wasn't chilling out of sight during Bake
>Implying he wasn't already scamming kids and adults alike on the down-low
>Implying Kaiki didn't apply rule of escalation just to get Crab's attention and see her again
>Implying Kaiki wasn't keeping an eye on Crab until he could be sure that Araragi would look after her
Since when were you under the impression that Kaiki wasn't the real mastermind?

>Implying Kaiki wasn't chilling out of sight during Bake
This is actually true though.
He's the reason Nadeko Snake happened.

you're from a series only liked by redditors and you have shit design

But how is the phoenix supposed to act if Tsukihi doesn't even know that she isn't human to begin with?

I've always taken the "amateur" bit to mean that he doesn't take it as seriously as Kagenui, Oshino, and Gaen more than a statement on power levels. He's a conman who happens to have a lot of knowledge of folk lore. And I don't recall Oshino really having a problem with the Rainy Devil, Araragi just wanted to do shit his way without thinking it through. It's not like he didn't cut right through the other oddities until coming up against god-mode Cat.

Or is he only pretending to be pretending?
Who knows how he would actually characterize his stance on them, considering oddities have a bit of a weird relationship with causality which makes the act of acknowledgement itself significant.

But that itself is a human-centric view. Yozuru wasn't wrong by her own determination, but she wasn't objectively right. She was only strong.

>I've always taken the "amateur" bit to mean that he doesn't take it as seriously as Kagenui, Oshino, and Gaen more than a statement on power levels.
I thought he said that so that Arararagi and co would fuck off and let him con people in peace.

>The other exorcists all dislike Kaiki for one reason or another.
I mean, Oshino might be the only one who tolerates him enough to consider him an "acquaintance", but the rest seem to only allow him to live only as an anti-thesis to what they do.

That's the point Yozuru brought up. The moment she finds out she's immortal, she'll fundamentally change as a person and shit will hit the fan.
It's why Araragi has to promise to be incorrect and evil to stop that shit from happening.

>All the exorcists dislike Kaiki

Not sure where you got this idea from. Yozuru finds him amusing, Oshino considers him a friend, Gaen actually cares for him on a personal level to the extent she helps him of her own free will for something that doesn't technically benefit her and then Yotsugi re-establishes this fact later on.

Tadatsuru is the only person with a non-opinion of Kaiki other than "He's a conman who probably knew how I went about making myself a half-oddity."

>considering oddities have a bit of a weird relationship with causality which makes the act of acknowledgement itself significant.

He acknowledges oddities exist, we see this from his actions but his method of curing oddity affliction is to make people think it's fake and a non-issue which he does by making people believe he doesn't believe in them and that they shouldn't either since it would be silly.

It's pretty unclear because we don't know much more than "immortal bird" and the cuckoo thing. Although the entire point of her appearances is that she is more or less already acting as someone whose sense of self dies and revives continuously. Her visual design constantly changing reflects this as well. It's entirely possible that knowing the truth wouldn't cause any conflict.

Because you're a cunt. I hate you so much I wanna rape u and impregnate you and not take responsibility.

png isn't transparent. die.

>Yozuru finds him amusing
Yozuru finds Araragi's obsession with loli's amusing. That's hardly a point in Kaiki's favor.
>Oshino considers him a friend
iirc Oshino mentions knowing him, but doesn't go as far as saying they're friends.
>Gaen actually cares for him on a personal level to the extent she helps him of her own free will for something that doesn't technically benefit her
That entire arc where Nadeko became a God was the result of Araragi being irresponsible in multiple areas and the situation then getting out of hand. Gaen even reverse-psyched Kaiki into resolving the issue itself by sending Yozuru to say "fuck off, or we're done". Gaen's entire strategy for dealing with people is taking advantage of their known behavior and manipulating them into doing things for her preferred outcome. Gaen knew that Kaiki was only helping resolve the Nadeko thing because Senjoughara asked him to. Hell, one could argue that as far back as the first episode Gaen was already stringing everyone along to put things in place and the charm wasn't ever meant for Shinobu but was actually made for Snail instead
>adatsuru is the only person with a non-opinion of Kaiki other than "He's a conman who probably knew how I went about making myself a half-oddity."
My understanding was she detested him because of how he chose to conduct himself. The other exorcists are serious about their profession and don't take the opportunity to create oddities unless necessary. Kaiki basically breaks the rules to benefit himself, much like Gaen will. The difference is, he doesn't seem too interested in the outcome or consequences and only makes himself noticed when he gets bored/wants attention.

>Snake will never be my dog

I don't. But I hate your show

Why are you guys talking about Kaiki like he's still alive?

It's literally confirmed that he is during Koyomi.

Because you never show off your panties.

just curious, what would you even do with crab besides hurr sex?
if you were either gender, cat has knowledge, snake has chinese drawings, snail is a kid you can troll, monkey likes activities, etc

Slut/10.
well, every girls in pornogatari are slut anyway. Except Crabgahara, she's best girl

Why would you want her to wear panties?

Did he lie about being assaulted for retribution-sympathy points?

>crab
>not a slut

...

Being slut for her only boyfriend is not slut, user. It's loyalty.

Strutting around naked in front of a boy she's barely ever talked to because he was nice to her is being a slut.

Crab likes normal things like a normal person. She isn't affected by an aberration like all of those sluts, and just because she isn't shown with any hobbies onscreen doesn't mean she doesn't have any.

>the flowing river never stops and yet the water never stays the same
kek

The thing most people don't realize about her is she has easily the best fashion in the series. She's simply killing it with that outfit Op. The other girls can't even compete.

Snake is best.

Y'all habe shit taste, nigguhs. Monkee is where is at.

She looks tired.

I love snakes and I love snake!

Well, she has been running through my mind all day.

She loves my snake.

She likes making beatings of old people on the street with baseball bats, or molesting her under classmen. That's her kind of hobby and you know it.

bye

best foot

lolno Shinobu wins best feet
After that it's a tossup between Bird and Doll. Would throw in Snail but she rarely gets footservice

I don't. You're a really interesting character. Probably anywhere between 5th and 10th best girl.

You better mean between 5th and 10th best girl all time, faggot.

shinobu a shit

Sup Forums has bad taste

what could it mean?

>that quote
What the fuck? Don't both clauses mean the same thing?

Because Revy is queen

We're not talking about Black Lagoon, you stupid retard. We're talking about 'gatari.

no shit, but this is a monogatari thread, so fuck off

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