>>392449478

So is this how Russia hacked the 2016 election, because I am a dual citizen of the US and Russia? No, this is how Israel hacked the election. Fuck the Jews to death.

You can think of it as them cashing in all their oppression olympics points all at once, for a grand finale. This is a very funny joke to anyone who is, like me, not from Israel or affiliated with Israel in any way.

For Israel, this is only "the kids get to laugh at their parents" funny, as is tradition for the people of Israel.

...

In conclusion for this Sup Forums essay, Jews play stupid games, and that is why they're lame.

Blacked Muslim British nigger detected

Who could share an inside joke with all the Jews of Israel but the known flagrant Muslim homosexual 007? Not that I'd like to invite that comparison, but I'm sure there are plenty of anons across Sup Forums who have been feeling lucky for the past several years

I remember seeing M from the James Bond movies in the hospital once which at the time I thought was particularly hilarious in a surreal way

Don't get me wrong, she was walking around in a suit talking to the nurses while I was strapped down in 4 point restraints on a bed in the hallway. Has anyone ever lived a more unfortunate life than mine?

Fortunately, I wasn't secretly some Nazi spy from the 40s reincarnated into a Russian American dual citizen's body, but was apparently a super secret ISIS field agent, who is known to know Krav Maga for some inexplicable reason.

I can only assume that the reason for this knowing was just in case 40-50 burly Israeli men who actually know Krav Maga could test their skills against me every once in a while

This is not a commentary on Eliezer Yudkowsky (seriously I just can't get over the name this guy's horrible parents must have given him for lying about something trivial in Jew camp) but only about my own personal circumstances

I, having never been to Jew camp for fear of that sick feeling I get in my stomach while imagining what it might be like to be holocausted every day since birth, am lucky to have my Christian name Ilya

If I had to put it into words, the feeling I'm referring to is, "if this goes well, this is very bad for me personally, and if it goes poorly, it is very very bad for me personally"

But what if it's only just bad for me personally and not very bad? Then I have a slogan I recently came up with for the Russians, which goes live or this -

"Our time will come."

Great for a political party, terrible for any military unit.

*goes like this

See, even with just plain text you can tell when it's just the iPhone autocorrect and not an intentional or unintentional typo

wtf

This is also the difference between "lucky" and "unlucky", and "auspicious" and "inauspicious". "Our time will come" would be an unbelievably inauspicious motto for any military team

If you are DEVGRU or whoever, I'm sure you can have whatever motto or slogan you want as some kind of deep existential reminder, but that's still a fucking horrible slogan

Delete this post pls

"Our time isn't even going to come" would be even worse, but this is getting into the realm of hubris

But for how long can you last with slogans such as these before your time finally comes? I'm afraid this is a deep question of military doctrine and is not something I'm equipped to answer with the resources I have at hand.

Empirically speaking, against all odds, my time hasn't come for three solid continuous years straight, if I do say so myself. Which I'm not sure I do, for the record.

A classic exchange

> God have mercy on my soul!
> Fuck you, you fucking niggger, I AM having mercy on you!

How would you translate "fuck you" into Hebrew? You can't, because it's a rude American phrase. You can probably find plenty of analogues though.

Hebrew definitely has at least one word for "fool". I like how Gandalf says "fly, you fools" as he's fighting the Balrog.

Note the important distinction that Gandalf implicitly says "fuck you" to the Balrog, in a polite way, while verbally saying "fly, you fools" to the hobbits and dwarves

"If he wasn't Al Qaeda before, he is now, one way or another" is a good phrase too.

Maybe in a good way, maybe in a bad way. It's only in the past few months that I've had to add "not in a good way" every time I say something even remotely serious

This is also the difference between getting and not getting a joke. If you get a religious joke, that means you are a bad whatever religion you are, otherwise you are good.

Fuck off russian shill israel is our greatest ally