Who the fuck is Gwenyth Paltrow?

And why is she telling all the women to shove "jade eggs" up their vaginas?

What the fuck is happening to the women of the world?

>How did we not know this?

Other urls found in this thread:

amazon.com/Polar-Jade-Instructions-Exercises-Incontinence/dp/B01CTZ003U/ref=sr_1_4_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1508775968&sr=8-4&keywords=jade egg
youtube.com/channel/UCjAFO7xz5UotUfIzvd_xXDA/videos
youtube.com/watch?v=5x6owJVWris
youtube.com/watch?v=DXGF9UUGD04&list=PLtFnfSc9NwNzMHGZzPYroNJCPDd4Ymjgf
youtube.com/watch?v=rs9PFXlU9AQ
youtube.com/watch?v=pRcG1slun9c
youtube.com/watch?v=tgIqecROs5M
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

Some reviews:

"A bit pricey, but as expected and my piddle problems are gone!"

"I saw a TV show where the host went to a vaginal weight lifting class and they use these eggs and attach objects to the strings to weight lift with their pelvic muscles."

"Careful on the toilet..."


amazon.com/Polar-Jade-Instructions-Exercises-Incontinence/dp/B01CTZ003U/ref=sr_1_4_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1508775968&sr=8-4&keywords=jade egg

jade stones hold heat in a strange way
but theyre prob just crazy whores that want to do weird -shove shit up the pussy in a group- shit

Women put these in the vagina, weights on the strings and "lift weights" with the pelvic floor muscles. It makes bladder control easier which can be impaired after having children, makes birthing children easier, and makes sex more pleasurable.

"I turned myself into a grape, Morty!"

"Rick! those aren't gra-"

"wowee wow wowza!"

Only >200 IQ intellectuals will get this joke

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer’s head. There’s also Rick’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they’re not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick & Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick’s existential catchphrase “Wubba Lubba Dub Dub,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev’s Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon’s genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them.

isnt this just the regular old vagina training dildo thing?

Where are you copy-pasting this from, hmm? Seen this said before... exact wording.

It's copypasta tard

Digits aside, you should kill yourself.

I didn't copy it from anywhere. it was probably another R&M fan that's intelligent enough to recognize the genuis of the writers.
When you're watching Rick and Morty, just remember that it's not like other shows. It's structure and dialogue are incredibly deep, almost to the point where you have to be paying complete attention to them to even remotely understand it. I remember watching an episode on Adult Swim (though I can't remember what it was), where I thought the show was absolute bollocks. Then, I closed my eyes for a second, and all of a sudden the episode had an entirely new meaning. It was insane the way Rick and Morty could just become something so different when you take a look into the show.

Another thing you should note about Rick and Morty is that it's easy to get a headache watching it. Not because it's a bad show, but because of how many ideas Rick and Morty is riddled with and how complex they are. Soon enough your head will fill to the brim and the the show will just sound like noise to you. Just turn it off and give it a watch the next day.

If you don't like the show itself, you'll definitely at least enjoy reading through the scripts and clips on Youtube, and picking apart the episodes themselves and all of the artistic and academic values that go into making it the complexity that it is.

>hmm?

I imagine they will fit better than the seven limes.

*tips fedora* I'm glad another intellectual such as myself provides such enjoyable, though accurate, posts for me to read as I vape

I have a masters in astronautical quantum proton physics so I kekd p hard at this

I'm assuming you are running some 1000 watt monstrosity that vapes 100ml of liquid per hit

I both checked, and keked at my own post
just like they taught us in Phd school, the best critic is yourself. I found it both witty and refreshing.

She is a Jew.

LINKARA NO

She's a feminist, what did you expect? They're the most irrational kind of woman.

you shouldn't just assume things. that's how we end up with stuff like religion. you need to form a hypothesis, thesis, and conclusion before I start believing your "assumption"

>Woman now shoving gemstones up their vaginas
I don't know how to feel about this.

It was an educated assumption you assuming asshole.

>hold heat in a strange way
explain

Look at all those Jew names in the reviews

I'm writing a thesis for my phd on this very joke

educated in what way? what sort of credentials do you have on the subject? are you a vape dealer? do you design the vapes? do you have a degree in circuitry or engineering?
or do you just want me to "assume" (there it is again) that you're educated in this field

So, these whores have taken so many cocks that their vaginas are collapsing and now they have to stuff them with jade plugs?

She's one of the weinstein girls, it's probably some public shaming fetish thing

it's just a rock. a dense material. you could really shove any old rock up your butthole but some are poisonous and others crumble too easily. jade is tough, non poisonous and it's pretty. therefore it makes sense to shove jade up your orifices.

it’s usually for women who have given birth to several children. i used to wonder about big penises causing incontinence but stopped caring once i realized what giving birth does to a woman’s snizz. that shit is unreal.

They're actually useful. Strengthening vagina muscles is never bad.

You don't have to use fucking gemstones though. Hope they're cut smooth.

>Who the fuck is Gwenyth Paltro
r u retarded

I basically do the same shit, but with a 1 kg weight. I insert it in my ass and I try my best to hold it with my ass muscles.
It works pretty nicely tbqh.

They're 'ben wa balls'. Jade, though, has microscopic cracks and pits in which bacteria can hide. Jade is not a good substance for this use, although they are pretty.

They should be using polished stainless steel or brass.

um "we" did this was years ago faggot

lolz no that is not how we ended up with religion in fact religion and science are pretty much the same thing, only the plebs understand it one way while the esoteric initiates know its true meaning educate yourself bruh here I will help you all the answers are here
youtube.com/channel/UCjAFO7xz5UotUfIzvd_xXDA/videos

>durr they're pretty much the same thing

She's shoved Weinstein's dick up her vag so this is an improvement.

stay ignant bro, I am trying to show the mysteries of the Universe and how it all works, how to crack the matrix and give you the answers very few in history have ever had

R&M= IHMN = “these letters have no meaning”

If you’re looking for “meaning” in R&M, you’re looking too deep, and looking in the wrong place.

This is actually underrated and I laughed out loud in my single bedroom apartment

Aren't these just really overpriced kegel exercise weights, then?

ah, that explains it.

Imagine my shock

Post-rape PTSD can really fuck you up. Paltrow is a good case in point.

>IHMN
>i hate my nads

Nice meme lad 8/8

you should look into why every genius in history believed in God and why they all look to religious texts late in their careers ie Newton, Oppenheimer etc. Because they discover through science, what I discovered and what has already been known for millennia

“The first gulp from the glass of natural sciences will turn you into an atheist, but at the bottom of the glass God is waiting for you." - Werner Heisenberg

t. scientist 1.618

>It's so LA. LOL.

margot tenenbaum gwenyth is best gwenyth.

wasted digits

youtube.com/watch?v=5x6owJVWris

Include me in the plebbit screenshot

>le matrix meme.

You realize the scientific process is a method for investigating reality, right?

Famous women tend to go insane. The princess of Norway married some fucked up writer and "artist" and started a businesses where she claims she can talk to angels.
She's a national joke.

Oh God, what's so wrong about vaping big mods or vaping at all? I vape 150watt mod because I can do it in my room and "muh clouds", why does it make me gay?

Stupid cheating whore doesn't pick them up with her pussy though, she just holds them with it.

kek @ matrix meme, you do realize what an actual matrix is yes? Obviously not, no sweat. Yes I know exactly what science is as I am a scientist. I am trying to help you my friend if you don't want any help and prefer living life sleepwalking just don't you me mate, otherwise I have such secrets to show you desu ....

ew
she kinda look like chelsea clinton

Lazy sphincters make for messy pants. Its like you retards have never heard of kegels. Men can do them too, they make for fantastic, rock hard erections and across the room ejections.

This specifically is ancient chinese shit but lots of cultures do it in one way or another. Our women are just so culture-less they werent taught by their mothers how to use their pussy to grip meat like their life depended on it. They were duped into thinking they would be their own person and have a career and shit.

>I have such secrets to show you desu ....
show them to me, hes an ignorant degenerate, I have proof

What a fucking waste

He's just read a little about mystery cults and is RPing as A magical faggot. He's gonna pitch Gnosticism to you I'm sure.

I really dont need another pitch about kaballah

start here
youtube.com/watch?v=DXGF9UUGD04&list=PLtFnfSc9NwNzMHGZzPYroNJCPDd4Ymjgf

then simply watch all the video on my channel, if you have any questions just ask brother, it is a massive amount of information to consume, but I tired to make it as impossible to digest, you will be God tier when you are finished

Well you're walking into one just figured you ought to be spared the come on.

kek stop shilling kike, I am Gnosis

Yeah I'm the kike but you're out here with the harvest/mystery rhetoric trying to find a new sorcerers apprentice to sodomize.

The only thing jewish about this is the jade. Jade is pricey and has no health benefits. It's selling on the hocus pocus of gem magic rather than its benefits as a female kegal weight equivalent.

>He's just read a little about mystery cults
I have done years of research and written my own books I know everything from the beginning, you can't possibly comprehend what I know, we can barely even have a conversation because your false reality is far from true reality you would not understand it if I showed it to you

top kek and nice digitos friend

>it's the holocaust all over again oy vey Miriam stick the family heirloom silver up your bung hole and in your vagoo or the ebil Nazi's will find it

>(you)
Pic related: it's glycon

Saying you have written your own books doesn't mean much when no one can confirm you are telling the truth.

undisputable

start at 32 mins my message to you
youtube.com/watch?v=rs9PFXlU9AQ

you will see or you wont, I can only guide you if you are ready learn
I am Bodhi Mantra 100's of people here have read my book you should ask around

Not interested in doing anything but ridiculing you like everyone else in your life, Merlin.

The awakening has begun you cannot stop it
אני מציע את עצמי כחרב לברית, להכות ולבלבל את אויביה.

This is gonna be a thing from now on, isn't it?

youtube.com/watch?v=pRcG1slun9c

You faggots should be thrilled that this dumb old roastie is trying to get cunts to work out their kegal muscles. That means tighter pussy for your sorry ass micro-dicks, when you finally land that 6/10.

youtube.com/watch?v=tgIqecROs5M

She's a kike

>It is proven scientifically that nephrite radiates far-infrared rays, which bring beneficial effects on human body, especially on skin, blood circulation and skin cell vitalizing

Silly gwailo piggu!, magic jade dragon stone makes pussy tight anf Feng Shui approved.

anarcum 1,618

Isn't this just Kegels?

You have more research to do my friend

There is nothing I don't know "friend" and I will show them

unless shes shoving coke cans in there and most girls find that fairy unenjoyable, the only thing that really causes looseness is childbirth. a lot of women get fucked up pelvic floor muscles from the backwards as fuck way we make them give birth and exercises with weights like that do have a measurable effect at improving incontinence problems. keep in mind this is from all the fucking pushing that women are forced to do when giving birth, which isnt how the body is designed to work.

You don't know when to stop apparently

it is you who needs to study more, you have the teachings but you don't understand them because you worship the black cube of materialism, this is why you are stuck in Samsara you are broken but I can help you when you are ready

The redpill is understanding who those teachings are meant for and whose supposed to teach and get fat and happy.

if it is you that doesn't know when to stop you have already lost

It's because jade is very similar to asbestos.

They are meant for those that hear the dharma
>whose supposed to teach and get fat and happy
this is why you fail

You seem awful motivated to change the outlook of a "failure"

Don't bother trying to explain this to pleb atheists. They literally think they are more enlightened because their pineal gland is so backed up with fluoride they can't experience spiritual phenomena anymore and therefore think that our ancestors who could are somehow more primitive than the current braindead populace.