Monster Musume

Dear sir please, I breathe from there

>Lala

Head in cabinet where it belongs

Are any of the girls not capable of smell? My shits are absolutely horrid and I feel like any good nosed female would leave the second I dropped a log.

Like, it's so bad sometimes I go outside in the yard to shit if I have guests coming over because I don't want the house to smell

The Dullahan is not for bullying

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Human girls give blowjobs you pansy.

Update from the Miiafag on /jp/

Most people aren't mouthbreathers either. Sticking your dick in her gills would be like sticking it in your nose

>Perfection

A rich Tanuki wants to tote you around as her trophy husband. She doesn't seem particularly in love with you, but she promises she'll make your life comfortable and, when the mood strikes her, she'll jump your bone. Do you accept?

Why not?

I just wanted to gauge how much of a whore you are, user. I'd be a huge whore for a rich monstergirl too.

You really need to sort your diet out.

I'd probably say yes and be horribly depressed at some point in my life because I don't have any real intimate relationships.
Oh wait, that time is now. It would be a straight upgrade.

>dont know what Tanuki is
>google it

Is this some kinda trap?

>Reminder Ms. Smith is Best Girl.

I certainly hope so.

So how big are her balls?

First up user, get a fucking fan or something. Second fix your diet and get an allergy test, then stop eating things you are allergic to.

Racoon-dog, yeah they're typically portrayed as male with huge balls, but thanks to the magic of monstergirls, female, ball-less versions have been made.

She seems pretty low maintenance. Her blood is like 90% coffee and she subsists off of junk food.

So basically what your saying is I can be NEET, but still have lots of money to spend. And to top it off, we fuck now and then.

Please explain to me the downsides. As for the romance part none of us here have any chance of that ever happening anyway so it's hardly a sacrifice

Ok, I'll take some of that then.

This is why Papi doesn't wear stupid underwear!

Well Zombina is a rotting corpse, I doubt her sniffer is very sensitive anymore

>best fuzz

>take a shower
>come back
>mfw your post + thread is ded
You win this round, Doppelfriend, but I will live on

Is Spooder fuzz the same as Kobold fuzz? Or is it a different category?

a spiders hair will fall out if you stroke it.

This. No one wants to be romantic with me anyway. I can have all of my physical needs met, and all I have to do is go with her to shit every now and then and be a "trophy"? Shit, would take it in a heartbeat. Also get to keep learning and growing while getting a little tail every now and then.

There's nothing wrong with my diet, I eat plenty healthy. At minimum I have a chunk of garlic every day, so my vegetable intake is ok. And for lunch and dinner I typically have fast food

And I do have a fan, but the blades broke off when when I stuck a popsicle into it

Do you subsist off of Good Boy Points?

No I have a job, I'm not a worthless NEET

Crab said they'd be itchy like real tarantula hairs, but you'd get used to them after a while.
But I'd willingly have some rashes for this beautiful girl

>There's nothing wrong with my diet, I eat plenty healthy.
>At minimum I have a chunk of garlic every day, so my vegetable intake is ok. And for lunch and dinner I typically have fast food
So you don't know what a good diet looks like, got it.

>There's nothing wrong with my diet, I eat plenty healthy.
>And for lunch and dinner I typically have fast food
Pretty good

Oh god I hope you don't work in an office or something. Go see a doctor, just a casual visit, see if there's anything they can recommend, but I'd start by saying stop eating MickeyDs every day

>There's nothing wrong with my diet

McDonald's is gross and bad for you. I typically eat at Burger King, Taco Bell and KFC. Much healthier

>every now and then you give her a little pet, even though it stings a bit
>she starts to feel softer and she doesn't realise it
>full on hug her leg one day

>Humans
Ren > Smith

Bruv there's literally no helping you is there. I think you have a dietary issue. You either need to consult a doctor or just change your diet. Are you at least active?

I want to marry this snake.

You get used to them or go into anaphylactic shock. Willing to roll the dice on that one?

>she's flustered
>like really flustered
>from then on she's a lot more gentle and affrctionate with you

...

I'd do it. And then after that, she'd totally be game for hard-working.

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Of course, construction work leaves little time for rest

>implying I wouldn't risk my health for my waifu
Who do you take me for, some kind of faggot?

By your taste in waifus. yes.

Oh man, builders breakfasts. Nice.

Still think you should ask a doctor and maybe do meal prep with stuff you know isn't gonna turn you into a walking mustard gas silo.

>"user my body is stiff, will you give me a full body massage?"

Hell no you disgusting rotting piece of shit.

Yea, maybe I will have a chat with the doctor, there's no reason is should be this consistently bad, especially since I eat healthy

how would you feel if she gave you one of her boobs?

Of course

Like vomiting all over the place.

>everyday you have to massage the boobs because they retain a fair amount of blood.

Good lord she has such good shape.

>Willing to risk his health for his waifu
Nope I call you a man among men. Accepting her faults with her strengths is true devotion.

good man

Taste isn't the issue here. Would you have a waifu that could hurt you? Would you make sacrifices for her?

We stare because we care.~

Better, I'd expect her to hurt me, often.

Yes Manako needs to be treated like Mike Wazowski

yes I absolutely would pic related
however cuddle spooder is uncomfortable

>time to oil up

>late for work every morning because have to massage zombie gf so she can get up
Worth it.

Bina Friends!

Also somebody needs to post Zombie Butt.

It doesn't even belong to her

Waifu who could, but knows how not to, gives the heart a boner.
Sacrfices; pretty much whatever is needed.

We need to be careful, or binahaters will attack us again.

>Have to massage Zombina every morning
>She feels bad making you late for work
>Starts doing tai-chi in secret to limber up
>You come in to wake her up and she's already up
>She sees the slight disappointment on your face.
>The next morning she claims she "forgot" to stretch

Why must we suffer in this shit universe?

Crab really put in some effort to give her an amazing figure despite competing with death, and other incredibly desirable girls.

Let them shit, we all know who best girl is.
I would be extremely disappointed if she started doing that. I'd love to massage her body every morning just to see her smile.

Its too late. You guys have become a bi-threadly tidal movement at this point.

yes sleep next to the corpse I hope you enjoy the smell

Would Miia like it rough or soft?
Would she be more of a romantic handholding and passionate kissing lover or choke her until can barely breath and take command kind of lover?
Would she like being cummed inside and you saying "Have my children, let's get married" or what?

Best girls.

snek is a gentle lover

I would but I'm on mobile. I love all the girls really, but I do have favourite MG species in general.

>doing taichi in secret
>you walk in on Bins, Cici and Polt in your spare room

She smells delicious. Formaldehyde smells sweet to me. I'd roll over and snuggle into her with my nose directly in her arm pit.

She breaks bones, son

I imagine it'd be both.
She'd start out loving you nice and slow but once you flip her switch she's going to want you to pound her hard. There's also no way she'll let you pull out. The tail is going to keep you locked in.

Enjoy your sneklets.

accidentally, she's just so passionate

Soft snex, but can and will go rough when the mood is right.

and therefore not a gentle lover.

I want sneklets....

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>Massaging Bina
>Use the opportunity to tease her
>Start running her in her most sensitive places
>When she's nice and limber have some rough zombie sex

I need moar zombie butts in my life.

>formaldehyde smells like pickles
Sign me the fuck up, she was already best girl, but this adds a whole new level of best. I'll happily drink a glass of pickle juice as is, so it's the best of both worlds

it depends on who takes the initiative

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I want to be drowned in hugs by my snek daughters when I come home from work.

Rubbing, I meant. Fucking autocorrect.

Far too slutty to be a seal. Seals are pure.

I love my Snek daughters

Has Snek have her first kiss?