Hey user, did you like those brownies I made last night...

Hey user, did you like those brownies I made last night? They had a little bit of me poured into them! Do you want me to make you some more?


Yandere thread

they were bloody good

I told you yesterday that I don't accept food from anyone.
Why don't you listen, girl?

Y-yes. Don't overdo it though.

Thanks user! I knew you'd like them, just like you like me, right?

Don't worry user I'm used to it! I used to do it because I couldn't talk to you! But then I thought if I make you some food then you'd have to talk to me! Now I'm so happy I can't stand it!

at any rate a remarkably dull shitpost

Oh no, user... I think she's dead...

I was just trying to make sure she didn't hurt you, user... I can't let anyone hurt you...

Well what a shame, would you like to help me hide the body, darling?

Creepy as shit

As someone who actually had a girl who was borderline ready to kill me because of her lust filled mania towards me, it's a much scarier world than you all seem to grasp.

Yandere is now a normalfag thing thanks to a certain "game".

You can't just post that and not tell us the story, user.

Then tell us so we can grasp just how scary it is.

no

Yeah, where should we hide this slut's body? Maybe we should dismember her? It would be easier.

I know and I hate it with every atom of my being.

>tfw Yandere cheated on you with other Yandere

Nigga, we're virgins. As long as she's pretty I'm down for it.

Story time?

I don't have much time but here goes

>Was her first kiss
>in the fourth grade
>She never forgot this
>Turns out she had a really abusive family and developed a dependency on me throughout middle-highschool
>Wasn't bad looking but we'd been friends for such a long time that I saw her only as that
>Didn't have any friends because I was a loner as well so we hung out together
>She thought I was her boyfriend
>Never really cared as she was pretty normie with other people but weird with me
>She starts getting more blatant about her fixation on me
>Others begin to notice and tease me
>Eventually get tired of her neediness and constant clinging
She would literally text me asking me where I was and what I was doing and constantly asking if I wanted to come over within minutes of us getting out of school if she wasn't already near me
>Tell her to fuck off a few times
>She wouldnt
>Sometimes i'd catch her following me home
>Even called me once saying she was outside
>At 2AM on a tuesday
>Yell at her to go home
>Calls me up the same time the next day
>i'm wet, user.
>Hang up and turn my phone off
>She's furious the next day
>Started cutting herself again when i'd ignore her
>Go to a senior party before graduation
>Suprise suprise she found out I was going and went too
>Try to ignore her and have a few drinks
>Kinda buzzed and she finds me
>I ask her to leave me alone and she kisses me forcing vodka into my mouth
>Cough it up and get fucking pissed
>Get up to leave and she follows me
>Walking homee
cont

>things that never happened

Thanks for reminding that I should update my aosora collection

> just like you like me, right?
Yes, but make more brownies

>she begins asking whats wrong
>I turn around and let loose
>"You don't fucking get it, I understand your life sucked at home but you've been in my shadow FOR YEARS!! I can't even go home without you trying to find me or call me. YOU CALLED ME UP SAYING YOU WERE WET, WHAT KIND OF SHIT IS THAT. I AM NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU. WE ARE FRIENDS, THATS IT, NOTHING MORE SO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE"
>She is stunned
>her : "...come back here with me user."
>she walks up to me slowly
>What? No leave me alo-
>she grabs my cock through my jeans
>"WHAT THE FUCK SISSY?!"
Forgot to mention, her name was Jessica but I always called her sissy as a kid because she relied on me.
>Presses me up against a fence and is still massaging me through my shorts
>She bends down and takes my pants off
>Oh shit is this really happening what am I doing
>tries blowing me but doesn't know how
>Think shes about to pull out a condom
>She pulls out a can of mace
>Fuck me or i'll mace you and say you tried to rape me
>WHAT
cont

Remove yourself frogposter

Based mods.

Or more a curtly a hookup thread

Lame

cum brownies > piss brownies > blood brownies > dandruff brownies

cum>blood>piss>dandruff is better.

>piss brownies
>ever

Sure we can dismember her! I'm not good at cutting up people though, user... you'll help me right! Make sure you wear gloves! You can use my knife if you want, it's very sharp! This is so exciting user, our first kill together! Can we take a picture next to the body? Pleeeeasee?

Where's Anna? I want her love nectar cookies.

That was good doujin

Maybe, depends how your knowledge with secure forensic resistant tech is on the cyber side

But sharing blood is the closest bond you can have with your girlfriend

Actually, blood is a great subsitute for egg as a binding agent in many baked goods.

If I become your boyfriend would you play videogames with me? Including hentai ones?

Brownies suck dick.
I wish a yandere bitch would bake me that shit.
I'd slap the fuck out of her.

Oh of course user! Well, I already thought we were boyfriend and girlfriend you know... We can do anything you like to do, that's what makes me happy you know! Just remember, those girls aren't real! If they were real then I might need to go have a talk with them, you know... I don't think I would like it if you were talking to any other girls user...

I liked them a lot. I'd like to eat you in another way though~

she's clearly making homemade valentine's day chocolate you fucking bean

>tfw I have a fear of yanderes.
>tfw I like yanderes for the fear they give me.
What do I do, Anons? What type of yandere should I get?

But doesn't that mean we'll be blood related

If she has AIDS and I eat the brownie, do I get AIDS?

Are you from /k/?

Probably, yes

>Plays videogames AND knows that there is a difference between real and fiction.
Fuck, this is already a better deal than most girls out there.

Probably not. The AIDS virus is like other viruses in that it's pretty fragile outside the human body. If it gets too hot or dries up too much, the proteins denature and it is effectively safe. If she cooks the brownies for hot enough, long enough, the virus will die. If she undercooks the brownies just a little, the virus may survive.

But your yandere doesn't have AIDS, silly, she's pure and saving herself for you!

She's the only redeeming factor of this shitpile

>she's pure and saving herself for you
But I like slutty girls, not boring purefags

>Yandere cheating on you

What are Yanderes so superior to Tsunderes?
Tsunderes are
>bitchy
>abusive
>annoying
>generic basic bitches
>don't get along with the guy and make his life hell by being a bitch all the time
>moody as fuck, you can never tell when they'll start hitting you
>usually completely useless and have to rely on the guy to get anything done, no matter what kind of situation the story takes place in

Yanderes are
>strong
>will protect you for life as a loyal bodyguard
>will never leave your side
>are likely extremely energetic in b\ed, you could have sex for hours
>will always love you and never be mean to you as long as you don't do them wrong

As long as you don't fuck up, having a yandere girl would be a perfect life set up.

Unless she's a Tsun-Yandere, then you should be spared from your misery as soon as possible with a well placed gunshot.

>not boring purefags
>boring
Operative word.
Since she's Ynadere she is by definition not boring, thus she is an unboring purefag, so you've got a 50% compromise on that

Honestly AIDS has a very short lifespan outside of a person's body. Even if the blood was added after the brownies were cooked, it's unlikely there would be any virus still alive after just sitting around for a few hours.

>As long as you don't fuck up
That's the hard part though, isn't it?
Yanderes come in all sorts of levels, you could say you like such-and-such and one yandere will go out and kill her to remove the threat, another will go out and abduct her to please you, then a third might just kill you instead. You really have to be clear on where you stand with them on a case by case basis.

Tsun-Yandere could work like this.
>Cold
>Abusive
>Hates you at first
Then she "breaks'
>Constantly following you
>Will never leave your side
etc,etc.
And Yanderes are hard to control by definition.

Yeah, but could you use your period blood instead of cutting your wrist next time?

Also, I'd like to introduce you to my family sometime, I mean, they always tell me that I should get a girlfriend, and as I now have one, and that is you, I was wondering if you'd like to come over to my place sometime?

No way she doesn't kill your mother to drive you further into her arms

The hell is that supposed to mean?

There's only enough room for one woman in your life, user.

No shit, but killing my mother would result in me being angry at her.

>girl bleeds all over you
>Sup Forums: LOL HOW ROMANTIC

you guys are nuts

>implying she understands that
Yandere be crazy, it's in the name.
It's not over us, it's over our food. Mind you being bled on can be romantic too.

As it wouldn't enter through your stomach, only through your sublingual veins; also it has been in an oven.... No.

If you are planing to get it, better drink from the source, i'm sure she will love it. Nothing bonds as much as drinking your lovers blood

Well if this bitch is crazy enough to cut herself to put her blood on my food might as well not make her mad.
I mean, at least is not her period blood

Are we? ARE WE?

>at least is not her period blood

I wouldn't mind.....

Yandere bestdere.

Blood is an essential ingredient, user. If a girl loves you so much that she would hurt herself and let you eat her life essence, then she is a keeper. The blood is a window into the soul, and only your soul mate should show you hers.

>I wouldn't mind.....
There's a limit my man

>girl bleeds all over you
Fund it

>tfw no 2D Yandere gf

>Not wanting to taste the blood from your gf's most intimaces

It's like you don't even love her you faggot

>girl slits her wrists and runs her warm blood all over you while she undresses you

user... that's deranged.

it's not something you want to "fund."

It sounds romantic to me. Pain is underrated in intercourse, but in real life we know you can't have pleasure without any pain at all. There's balance that must be maintained in the world, so when a girl cuts herself and bleeds on you during intimate moments, she's taking all the pains associated with the act and bearing them herself. Having her blood on you is symbolic in that you acknowledge and appreciate her struggles up to this point, just as she takes all the pain you've both felt and puts it on her shoulders. It's actually very romantic and makes the whole experience much more romantic.

>Yandere
>gf
she is my personal fucktoy, not my gf

no! im the one who is normal!

I kinda want to be connected to my waifu and directly transfer blood between each of our bodies

>I want to consume the blood of my waifu so I can feel connected to her

Seek help.

Hey user, I brought you a present today! Remember how when we were walking home I asked you what you liked about me? Then you said you liked my eyes! And I was so happy because I always thought my eyes were pretty, but I never had anyone else tell me before! So I was sitting up all night trying to think of a way to say thank you, and then I had a great idea! So I think you'll really like this gift since you'll always think of me when you look at it!

>no 2d gf to mutilate herself or let you mutilate her

I'm sure it's already too late

whats going on in that picture.

>tfw no waifu
>tfw no yandere

I wouldn't want my waifu to hurt herself to please me. I would just feel guilty.

Get one faggot.

Here's a starter kit with Yandere perfections drawing 2d perfections.

How do I get one.

...

You'll know when it happens.

Watch more anime, read more manga. It'll happen.

Be sure to post when it does happen, and join the club.

He's counting down. What's not to get?

Personally, I'm worried about her tourniquet. It's not nearly tight enough.

But I want one now

Well user, there's not much I can do to help you with that. Maybe one of these nice anons will be your yandere waifu for the afternoon in an erp thread in . Or go outside and start asking people if they'll be your yandere waifu, better chances than where you are now, I'm sure.

>Yandere Yui

>Rena
>Yandere

...

thanks m8

Yes
Yes
Ok

Would you let your waifu cook for you?

...

As long as she was good at cooking, then I don't see why not.

>Would you let your waifu cook for you?
No I only eat my mom's cuisine, everything else sucks.