Has anyone here been to prison? Can you tell me what it's like...

Has anyone here been to prison? Can you tell me what it's like? I'm doing research for a class assignment and I need stories

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Its a lot like when youre on Sup Forums and you just wanna boast about MAGA and how comfy life is as a real American but theres only slide threads like this.

this is much more open ended than that time you were going to prison soon and needed advice everyday for months.

if you've been to prison then I need information

Help

youtu.be/z8A85cl5w3s

Don't take shit, stand up for yourself

me

I didn't do much, just kill a nigga.

It ain't like the nigga ain't have it coming. Y'all think it's just about us in here, but this is about an oppressive, fucked-up system designed to keep niggas down and shit. Y'all wouldn't know nothing about that.

What about you, little nigga? You know about that?

Depends mate.
If you get sent to some low security prison for non violent crimes, it is probably not going to be that bad.
If you get sent to federal pound me in the ass prison, then yeah, it will probably suck.

Prisons are a range really.
There are prisons where they basically just put you to work as support crews for state infrastructure or firefighting.
And there are prisons where every second you are in is monitored and structured.

I did 10 years in NY for stealing and selling a motorcycle, a red Gatorade, a foosball table, and sliding into your girl’s DMs.

>be me
>go to jail
>know I’m fucked so I started hanging out with Mexicans for protection
>had to suck dick on the reg but hey no getting stabbed by niggers
>one day they’re raping a nigger in the shower and demand me to join in
>I fucked him so hard he died of internal bleeding
>Mexicans impressed, start calling me Killfuck Shit Ripper
>Warden was so happy I killed a nigger he let me fuck his dog and released me for good behavior
>fast forward 6 years and here I am, a successful cartel hitman living in Brazil

Pic related, mfw I fucked the dog

Don't take your underwear off when you shower, they'll know your new if you do. Flush as soon as your shit touches the water

>Flush as soon as your shit touches the water

people dont do that already?

they just let their shit sit on the toiler for a while?

>living in Brazil
>American flag
Nice try, Juan.

I went with my daughter's brownie troop to Alcatraz. It was pretty tough, but I came out a better man.

3 yrs TDCJ ask away OP

Fuck of Salim Patel, I’m telling a story.

Idk. When I shit at home I don't flush until after I wipe my ass.

that is indeed the official slide of slide threads lol

I was Walter White before it was cool to be Walter White, Texas Rangers ended my criminal career.

Put a little water on it

nope never even been pulled over, because I'm not a dirty nigger criminal.

>be me
>A mexican with a dream
>Dream turns into a nightmare
>CBP ask's me to go to secondary
>"user we found narcotics in your car"
>Drop my fetuccini alfredo all around
>Stayed 4 months with the feds
>Went to trial because my lawyer felt lucky.
>Themadmandidit.exe

I was facing 10 years, the prosecutors tried to link me with a conspiracy and failed, but ended up doing only 4 months.

>also
>had a PAC number for my telephone
> 4 digist number (#****)
>after 1 year sit on bench in the park
>on the feet of the bench was the same number i got.

Thats when i knew kek was with me all the time, and when i knew archangels speak through digits.

>tl;dr
Did 4 months instead of 10 years for smuggling drugs, im a bad hombre, but an innocent one.

the worst part about prison...
is the Dementors.

This is the most free country on the planet, thats why we have more prisoners than anyone. Fucking stupid cognitive dissonance here.

What's your best advice to,interacting with other inmates?

yes
not too bad, keep to yourself, dont be a wimp, dont be a fuckwit, youll be sweet as

Don't do the crime...

I've only been in kid jail for any sort of extended period. And regular jail for like 48 hours max. Never any prison. Kiddie jail was pretty much whatever. It sucked, and the guards were fucking perverts. Guards coming into your cell at all hours of the night shining flashlights in your eyes. I felt bad for a lot of the kids in there, they were all mostly dumb as shit. When I first went in, I won an arm wrestling contest in my little cell block, I'm a construction worker's son, and have been working on job sites for as long as I can remember, so I'm somewhat sturdy. But yeah, guards were fucking perverts. Never felt threatened by any of my fellow inmates, but the guards were a different story.
Regular jail was pretty shitty as well, but I spent far less time in there. Guards were assholes, but not pervo. Fellow inmates were OK, aside from most being dumb as shit. All that was enough to get me to change my ways, and I thank God that I've never been to real prison. If my times in jail are any indicator, it seems like it would suck ass pretty hard. The time I was in kiddie jail it was for attempted murder. Regular jail was mostly for bullshit like being drunk.

I've seen a lot of small mobile phones, especially on Amazon, the reviews say they "Beat the BOSS", the BOSS being a "Body Orifice Scanner" chair you sit in and it scans you to see if you have metal up your ass. Apparently these micro size cell phones have so little metal they "Beat the BOSS". You ever see that in your jail? Do prisoners use these?

Judging by what both English-speaking and Russian-speaking people tell about prison life, it's like some fabulous homosexual fantasy.

I love you. Have a rare

You don't have to be convicted to be held prisoner.

Kinda rapey. 1st day was rough. Gif related.

Every fucking day the same thread, exactly the same. KYS

seen this thread before sage

You have no idea what you're talking about you stupid cocksucker.

Federal prison, even at maximum security or higher, is nothing compared to state prison.

State prison is where you're most likely to be a victim.