How do I stop being a pussy when it comes to relationships? I have an ok time getting women in the door, I'm smart...

How do I stop being a pussy when it comes to relationships? I have an ok time getting women in the door, I'm smart, funny, alright looking, like a 6/10 or 7/10, and I have a great job. I'm honorable, courageous, and a good leader. I have hobbies. but as soon a woman becomes involved I become a pussy, basically I overthink everything, start throwing my hobbies away, and get depressed as fuck and get too clingy.

What are legitimate steps I can take to stop this bullshit? I am sick and tired of fucking up relationships by becoming a pussy. No I do not accept that beating women or controlling their every move is the correct answer. Just because women are wired to be subordinate to men doesn't mean we should treat them like shit, they have a feminine role they play and we have a masculine one. We are the leaders and they are the followers. I don't want to just have no emotions, I just want to learn to be more in control of overthinking and shit.

Any advice, books, etc.?

masturbate to the bogdanoffs

go somewhere other than Sup Forums.

Such as?

Your room. Clean it. And make your bed.

Understand that women are just people (or, if you follow Sup Forums logic, less than people).
Stop putting pussy on a pedestal.
Understand that your hobbies and outside interests are part of what she was attracted to.
Space matters.
Don't always say 'yes'. Being a 'yes man' never did anyone any good.
STOP PUTTING PUSSY ON A PEDESTAL.

>doesn't mean we should treat them like shit

and this is why woman will ruin you, youre too weak to handle a woman

You're actually a good candidate for JBP. This stuff is designed for people like you. Just dont accept it as gospel. Use it, grow a bit, then ditch it an realize its for weak ass people like your former self. Make sure it's only the first first step. Dont rely on using it to climb each step.

i'm already super clean.

people keep saying that, and I totally get it, I really do, but when it comes down to it I always end up doing it anyway. is there some technique I can use? is it really just a matter of willpower? do I just have to get to the point where I can catch myself every time I'm doing it and adjust myself in the right direction?

i don't understand the treating like shit thing. i've been there, done that, and it gets you a whole lot of pussy but no stable relationships. so can you explain how treating your girlfriend like she's a worthless pile of trash is beneficial and in what ways you recommend treating her like shit?

I'll check it out, thanks user.

Get Chad'd.

1.Get roided/shredded
2.Get realist and knowing WHAT WOMEN ARE REALLY ABOUT, not the disney/CNN/Sex In the City narrative, but the real fucking thing
3.Get assertive, in their mind being a man is being a victorious competitive/dominant guy.
4.Get a taste of PUA, but a little tiny bit, just enough to get your game on.
5.Dress rich.

Women will follow you, not the other way around.

Pump and Dump, and keep the buffet of pussy constantly rotating.

Women actively pursue man, when they have enough social capital in their personal 'brand'. You need to increase your external perceived value.

Ps. The more you get successful with women, the more you will despise them as immorality blackholes, good for nothing but fucking.

What is JBP? A quick google turns up all kinds of shit. Jordan B Peterson?

Read No More Mr Nice Guy

The making your bed part was a reference to JBP. I followed up because I rightly assumed youd not get it

Yes.

did you have to bend over backwards for mommy op? are you simply overattached to the idea of being luvved?

Make it clear you're taking them to pound town. Talk about other women friends you have. Use the phrase you're probably not into that" in regards to any activity you do.

You'll always be clingy and needy if you're like that when you like someone
Also

That book got me straight after my divorce. Recommend! Also look up Patrice O'Neil on Youtube. His "black philip show" would have redpilled a generation

What if I spent my college life sleeping around and I don't want to do that anymore? Should I just wait a few years before I start looking for something serious? I'm 26. I think most of this sounds good, I just don't really have an interest in picking up random chicks...is the point to do it just so you become more desensitized to the allure of women? That would make sense.

Thanks user, I brought up his youtube channel. I'm gonna look into some of his shit in my free time.

I think it's actually the opposite, my father figure was abusive and neglectful so when my mother was around I would cling to her. I think that has a lot to do with it. I live alone now though, have a job and all that, so I'm not a NEET or anything, I just have some pretty longstanding daddy issues that I've never fully managed to handle. I have been working on them for years though.

Just picked this up since it was already on my list, thanks user.

ah yes that point in the long road of a broken soul where you come to pol for relationship advice
its okay youre already past the point of no return so first - give up on women - they will do nothing but cause your life hell - go about a year without talking to a woman or having sexual contact then lets move on to the next step
quit any job you have and scale down your living quarters - get a 1 bed room apartment - the only room you will really need is for your desktopand a couple of those anime body pillows I forget what theyre called-
Okay so now you should be putting on weight or look like a twiggy goblin like creature now you should get onto disability to make sure you can afford frozen food after the savings run out
hope it helps!

dude nobody here has even seen a real-life girl, let alone met one. why you asking us?

PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY

I WANT A LIFE PARTNER

WOMAN WOMAN WOMAN

Good luck. Theres a lot of content. Dont grt discouraged. Check out Maps of Meaning lectures. Might be a good place for you to start.

sage and report SLIDE threads

Stop fapping, get fit, be honest about everything, try to not care about girls, dont make them your life goal.

that's where your women's repelling comes from. when it comes down to it, when you should embrace some apathy, a bit of space, stay ambitious with your life you want to just melt into a woman's lap and be safe. you don't want to be like dad.

but it's a real bitch when you realize your mom didn't bother to actually get you away from him!

your mom is 99% likely to be an enabler. go to leddit raisedbynarcissists because no matter what people say about that place or leddit as whole it will help unfuck your shit and no one has to know it's you posting

Because I have never had a positive masculine role model in my life and have occasionally gleaned some good advice from here, believe it or not.

Thanks bro

>Slide thread
>I'm actively responding to posts

Come on brah.

This is actually pretty sensible. I have heard of that subreddit, but I didn't think my mother was a narcissist. Do you think that sounds like it could be the case?

The only legit way to combat this is to be talking to (and preferably banging) multiple women. The problem is you focus on one girl and become attached due to lack of options. Go talk to and bang multiple women, not just one at a time, even fucking prostitutes would help.

This is the only legit way, and it works. Look it up: its called Abundance Mentality. Women are also more attracted to guys who can potentially pull multiple women, so as an added bonus, by demonstrating you can have other women she becomes more attracted to you and works harder for your admiration. Easier said than done, but you asked how and this is it.

use the make app

it's not just for people with narcissistic parents, it's for anyone whose parents are toxic, borderline, bipolar, narc, sociopath, whatever. go with an open mind and just lurk, see if anything sounds familiar over the course of a week.

if mom didn't help you and she knew what was happening, she's complicit.

it does make sense. kind of like the old school psychotherapy concept of repeated exposure. t

>I just have some pretty longstanding daddy issues
stop blaming others

was trying to say "thanks user"

i think what you're saying makes sense, although I don't want to admit it. I mean, she surely knew what was happening, and you're right, she spent 16 years not doing anything. eventually i grew up, figured it out and ran away to get myself out of it.

i'm blaming myself. i'm not deflecting onto my dad, he was factually an asshole but I know this problem lies with me and I'm the one who needs to fix it.

Cuz you’re actually a bitch/tranny in disguise

i know he's a blackman, but patrice o'neal sums up the proper philosophy for approaching women.

ill try to find a vidya of it.

mostly, it's playfully bringing up things that might make them feel insecure
>this--contary to popular opinion---does not mean BE A DICK
>it's a way of flirting that asserts dominance
>also; women like to be made fun of (as do men, as well)
it takes the pressure off thinking "ohmygod i hope he likes me, i hope he doesn't notice my gap tooth"

like if you just mention the gapped tooth, saying oh shit i like that gap, makes you look like some fancy ass model, it alleviates their anxiety of hoping you don't notice

ya feel me?

i'll take questions. i'm not a pickup artist, but I am a fantastically charming individual who has bagged some legit 10/10 by the handful

////
>i know that doesn't really directly address your points, but it's the right atttitude to have. just know that if you can get one girl, you can get most girls. so stop clinging so hard to one. clearly you are capable of finding more.
>side note: the way to combat overthinking is not by asking for advice but by ACTING
>instead of forcing the girl to baby you and help you get through your clinginess, just be proactive
>take her out on fun dates, text her just a coupla times a day instead of constantly needing contact, but when you do text, make it damn good.

weed

I think this sounds like good advice. My issue is specifically with this point:

>side note: the way to combat overthinking is not by asking for advice but by ACTING

I have finally come to the realization that this is necessary, but the problem is I want to do the "right thing" and so the overthinking just comes in then. I fret so goddamn much over doing the "right thing" instead of just fucking doing something and being ready to face the repercussions. I think this is part of what I need to work on, I had already been discovering that but a few posts here are backing that up.

i spent a year or two getting high and it didn't really actually help me solve anything, it just made me forget about my problems and eat chips & play vidya all day.

Stop thinking of women as your equal and trying to please them you faggot.
They are there to please you, just show appreciation and do what you like you cuck

>like if you just mention the gapped tooth, saying oh shit i like that gap, makes you look like some fancy ass model,

lmao

note: i realize that the patrice o'neal thing might not be relevant to OP
>OP said he was funny
>OP said he had no problem getting in door

didn't mean to condascend to ya, im sure ya know that shit.

but my point on OVERTHINKING
>you cant solve overthinking with more thinking
>seems obvious, but really isn't (personal XP)
>so fight the urges to voice every anxiety or insecurity that leads to clinginess
>it'll seem impossible, and you'll feel like you can't, but if you manage to clamp down the impulse a coupla times
>you'll get better at it

speaking things into existence is very real.
she might be perfectly happy, but if you worry so much, it can help people think they SHOULD have reason to doubt

the only way to combat too much thought is ACTION
>i know it's easy to fall into depressions
>i know these girls are all you can think about
>here's something:
>the girls are inconsequential
>sometimes we use relationship drama as a very dramtic form of procrastinatipn

my point is that you might actually be worrying so much about the girl because it gives you a "good reason" to be lazy and not take care of yourself
>keep up the hobbies
>workout

*

this is actually really good advice user. is this the kind of shit patrice o'neal says?

...

Dont try and lose your old life fully. Keep the hobbies. When you go to do them, just tell her and let her live with your decision.

Be assertive, both in and out of bed. Doesnt mean you need to be a cunt, just take control 90% of the time. You were able to get her through the door for a reason (you), the hard part is done. Enjoy the spoils of war, she wants to be there.

nah, that stuff is me. I am very much the same as you instinctually.

this is good though, I know you can do it, user. mental battles are hard as fuck, so stop fighting on the mental battle field. work outward in, so to speak.

you got this, boo

thanks naon. Any more tips are more than welcome I am lurking for advice in this thread too

Daddy issues. Call and talk to Stephan Molyneux. I'm sure he'll tear up your whole past and give you some advice. Personally I would say to keep your hobbies, be strict with yourself on this if you want your relationship to work out. If you haven't started using the makeup removing app then start using it. It may help you bring that pussy pedestal down a few notches.
Also, what exactly happened with you last relationship? How long did it last, did she call you clinging and why? What did you do that was clingy?

Im sorry user but you have fallen for the "what women want" meme. If you hadn't, you wouldn't have an overthinking problem. Absolutely zero people on this planet are qualified to tell you exactly what the woman you're talking to is all about. LITERALLY "b urself" but with confidence.

Also if you actually believe in masculine feminine roles then you should be taking the lead right? If you've had enough experience with women to analyze your problems you're clearly not hopeless so just relax and enjoy being straight.

Stay single until you go full wizard and don’t even need to fap. You’re just addicted to seratonin, beak that and you’ll be fine

>have a great job
That's all you need, soyboy. Girls only want a cuck they can boss around and spend the money of. You should fit right in!

>I'm smart, funny
If you can even say this about yourself, you probably aren't.

>alright looking, like a 6/10 or 7/10
5/10 it is.

>I have a great job
Good, make money.

>I'm honorable
How did you arrive to that conclusion?

>I'm courageous
Or this one? What has ever tested you in life that you can say you are courageous?

>and a good leader
Probably not, vast majority of people aren't.

>but as soon a woman becomes involved I become a pussy, basically I overthink everything, start throwing my hobbies away, and get depressed as fuck and get too clingy.
Adopt an abundance mentality. There are literally hundreds of millions of appropriate women out there, you shouldn't consider any one of them special in the least.

>I don't want to just have no emotions
Sounds like you have too much emotions

You almost certainly have many problems. You need to work on your character first. Become a better man. This may take years.

also: don't think you can NEVER bring up anxieties and insecurities, just bring it up in a way where you
>demonstrate that you are aware of the irrationality
>there is a way to bring up the stuff without being whiny---just show that you are self-aware
>it's a subtle difference, and truthfully, the girl's personality will play a big role in how they respond
>but you seem like a sensitive enough guy, so i think you deserve a girl who is also sensitive to you

never bringing up your feelings is a meme. even though what I just said about not bringing up every anxiety is very true, also never bringing up any anxieties would be fucking autistic and inhuman, and likely drive you crazy

just try to find the balance, try to discern what thoughts and worries you can conquer on your own, and what you actually need outside help on.

>chicks love feeling like they are helping a dude

maybe ignore this part and just focus on curbing the anxious thoughts for now, see how that goes, because it sounds like you are at a point where you really need to shut the fuck up a bit haha

Sounds like youre dating whores. Women should be clingy and retarded for YOU. If youre in your 20s and fielding women who are the same age, sucks to be you son. Gotta find a dumb, loyal girlie to mold into wifey.

Do you want a companion or a lukewarm hole to stick your dick in.

If you want a companion treat a relationship like a litmus test. Allow yourself to become more involved and serious as you discover the woman your dating is more and more worth it. Give her the chance to prove herself to you. If she's never going to make an effort with that, if she's just looking for someone to cater to her, then you know it's a waste of time. But if you find a girl who really tries for you and expects you to try for her then you have a keeper. You don't want a mother to baby you and you don't want a little brat you have to train. You want an intelligent and caring partner who will encourage you as much as she expects you to succeed.

If you want a pussy to sling dick into, just treat her like that.

Don't make the mistake I did and treat a girl who's not worth it like she is. They turn into fucking monsters.

also, don't listen to any of this except for

>Become a better man

but that's obvious and shouldn't be done for the sake of women

>once you stop trying to get women and just focus on living well, you generally get women

the world is ACTION user. our ancestors did not have all the idle time that we do now. idleness lets thoughts fester. be an animal, a man of the earth.

okay, i think my adivce has run its course LOL, im verging into schizoid esoteric shit

of course, user. i'm not a sage master, but maybe i could help

>schizoid esoteric shit
hermeneutics?

ahhhh I am in the precise same boat everyday.
thinking about action is different from acting, yes haha.

legit, maybe go into an acting improv class haha? or just practice being spontaneous in conversation? practice mindfulness? idk, this is shit I struggle with too, and I know most of this particular advice is trite horseshit.

user, you are right. thank you for this advice.

Why shouldn't he listen to it? You actually believe OP when he appraises himself? This is his major problem, he has an awfully high and unrealistic opinion of himself, guaranteed.

How do I get my wants to overcome my inaction? I am even sitting on great things but I feel emotionally drained in a lot of ways, losing motivation fast and easily burnt out. I had a great thing going with a woman and I too became needy. This is a result of poor character but I feel stuck in a catch 22

>hermeneutics

oh fuq man, thanks for the wikipedia spiral.

Not OP but I'm smart and funny and that is literally an undeniable fact of life.
If you have trouble calling yourself smart and funny you are probably an insecure pseud.

well, we all have self-delusion to a degree. it's ingrained in our DNA. i'm not saying that finding a more realistic sense of self is a bad thing, I just think you are more taking out some of your own personal shit (maybe you have an unrealistically LOW opinion of yourself, user, i dunno) and i dont think it's helpful as per his specific inquiry.

also, im all for tough love, too. so if OP is a huge beta faggot (which doesn't seem to be true) then maybe he does need to hear it lol.

but i got hope for the kid, im cozy and optimistic tonight, friend

t. soyboy

i always end up being clingy. i have the right intentions, but something always goes wrong along the way. in the end, either the woman turns out to be a whore or breaks some fundamental code of trust; i end up being called "controlling"; or I just become uninteresting and pussified. usually it's that i end up being "controlling". i've never really been able to trust anyone at all, never mind a woman, so once i hook them the paranoia/anxiety takes over.

I think I agree with this. Particularly the last part, about letting the girl prove her worth and not just giving it to her.

And this, to be honest. But the problem still lies with me, I should be able to more finely detect a whore and I have clear clinginess issues.

I don't think you're spiraling into anything. I'm right there with you and I like your advice actually. I've been thinking about spending some time alone in the woods eventually.

Mindfulness is something I do every day now, just some grounding in the morning and sometimes throughout the day. The problem is outside of a relationship I feel fine. As soon as I get into one it's a clusterfuck. It's like I'm a different person.

I didn't say I was the funniest person in the world or anything like that and a 6/10 is just slightly above average. I don't see how I falsely appraised myself, I was just trying to be realistic because I've been unrealistically hard on myself my whole life.

Basically this, to add to the above quote. I treated myself like shit all my life and started actually looking at myself objectively and that's why I think I'm "funny" and all that.

i really appreciate this user. Even though it sounds like I'm a total pussy, I have gotten a lot better. In all other areas of life I am totally fine. It's seriously just relationships where everything goes to shit. That's why I'm here, because this is what's holding me back from the next steps I want to take in life and I'm stuck. If it requires a fundamental re-wiring of my being, so be it, that is what I will do to get where I need to be.

t. stupid and boring

you don't wait for your wants. this is one thing Sam Hyde gets right, NEVER WAIT UNTIL YOU FEEL BETTER. never wait until you want to be active, just force yourself. really FORCE yourself not to send that clingy text. it'll feel shitty, but DO IT. you'll get stronger.

>be me
>dating girl for three years
>10/10 persian queen (yeah gas me, fuck you)
>plenty of drama, I used to be a bit of a man whore
>we worked through it
>she cheated to get back at me once I fucked her friend (10/10 irish chick)
>i know its hypocritical, and i seem like i had the power, but its precisely because i was used to power that her cheating actually reaaalllly fucked me up psychologially
>also: i often cheated to reinforce this idea in my head THAT I HAVE POWER, SHE IS EXPENDABLE (this belies a deep insecurity tho, right?)
>karma is bitch
>1 year later
>today i have bad thought about the guy she cheated with
>want to text her
>want her to stroke my ego
>don't
>wait five minutes
>feel better
>re-inspired by my own mental fortitude

doubts are healthy. fear is healthy. anxiety is healthy.

I'll leave you with a Sherlock quote that is only mildly relevant, but it can be itnerepreted to be useful:
>You can't control pain, but you don't have to fear pain

these thoughts and worries will come up. even the healthiest, longest term marriages have them (and maybe even REQUIRE them).

but you don't have to be afraid of them. you don't have to ignore them, though either, because like the Babadook, when you don't acknoweldge something, it gets worse. so it really is a practice of mindfulness and self-control

it ain't fun, but it gets easier, and you will have exponential progress each day

(sorry for the reddit level pop culture references)

This is probably the most beta thread of all time. Any nerd on here telling you they have the insight into women is larping.
t. smart and funny Chad who has had sex before

>If it requires a fundamental re-wiring of my being, so be it, that is what I will do to get where I need to be.

these are the words of a strong man. I have no doubt that you will do it.

I'm not stressing so much about ladies right now, but I am also in the middle of reprogramming my brain away from some nasty habits, so your words inspire me, too.


#Sup Forumshugbox

Thanks and I will put this knowledge to use. I'm finally coming out of the hole I was living in

thank you user. i appreciate that. i just can't sit around anymore and be this way. i can't let it overcome me anymore, i have to own it. i can't sit here and let my life drain away from me while i'm in my youth. i do not care what i have to do anymore to make it happen.

Go to a place where women are enslaved. No need to change the way you act just for women. Go buy yourself a slave girl, it isn't that hard.

try me, faggot.

>be me
>be sandy blonde haired
>be 6'3"
>be jawline
>be unironic 9/10 (and that's modest)
>be chin
>be brooding green eyes
>fucked over 25 broads (degenerate I know, i really fucked up my ability to have intimacy for a while)
>career lined up to make millions

I will fuck you until you love me, faggot.

...

then you will do it, i have no doubt.
just go easy on yourself, too, for me.
don't turn it into a live or die project, because that sort of stress won't make it any easier.

it's a bit of a catch 22, but really the less you think of yourself as broken and needing fixing, the more you will be fixed.

go with god, user. kisses and goodnight

last name Cohen?

Stop asking relationship advice in Sup Forums

...

YES, NO WAIT, NO.

cool name tho

>How do I stop being a pussy when it comes to relationships?
i learned everything about how to treat and handle women from my dad, who is in a very successful marriage with my mom for over 20 years. you need to be schooled on women, it's the only way. if you grew up with a single mother, you are fucked. women will never respect you. find someone in a successful marriage and have them tutor you.

...

Dedicate time to working out.

i started doing this recently.

actually this is right in line with the conclusion i've been coming to. i'm just not sure how i'd go about finding someone.

>everyone gets my used up cocksleeves

This is why there are no wifeable women, because for every one of them that is worthy there are 8 discarded cumsocks of insecure faggots that needed to "smash" dozens of women for some kind of sexual understanding or some retarded bullshit like that. Fuck all of you.

Don't approach it so seriously. Be casual. I used to be like you, and this is what helped me. Don't act any differently and do not censor yourself. Do not sacrifice your time or attention for her. Ignore her basically, act like she doesn't exist. Don't be try to be a "bad boy" and don't try to be a white-knight - just be yourself in the most literal sense. She will crave your attention and obsess over you. They are used to guys like you who are clingy and demanding and capitulatory. Go the opposite direction and you will confound her. Do not do or say anything for her sake. At the end of the day, women want a self-assured decision maker. "This is the way it will go, and it will go this way because I said so. Take it or leave it."

This is how you create a traditional wife/girlfriend/whatever. You don't find "a redpilled trad gf," you make her yourself. Chicks love that shit and they abdicate to it every time because ultimately it is in their nature. I guess this is a drawn out way of saying "be more confident." You don't need money or looks or charisma or anything else. Just be yourself ABSOLUTELY with no shame or apology. Remember that we are animals. You are the dominant actor, and she is the submissive, and there can be no question or doubt in this regard in her mind. I'm NOT saying that there is never a time or a place for romance or passion or emotion, I am speaking very very generally here. If you are self-assured, then romantic acts are even more powerful in her eyes. Women do not love like in the same way that men do. Always remember: "Men love women. Women love children. Children love dogs."

Other general tips:
>Don't be a huge stickler about condoms
>Be "above" argument, "calm down, it isn't a big deal"
>Never complain about emotional troubles, find a male friend for that
>Never apologize for anything
>Remove yourself from the situation if she tries to play games, be above all petty games
>Do not rely on her for anything

That's basically it.

Im in the same spot user. Fucked a bunch a sloots via one night stands, decided to get a gf and repopulate white race, and then suddenly i became a pussy stopped doing cool shit, stopped hanging with friends, got fat. In the begining for about 6 months i kept things on an even field but eventually the nagging and just wanting my girlfriend to be happy I became shit. Giving into her just made me not want to try, instead of someone who motivated me she drains me. I am walking on tippy toes all day and still shes not happy.