Veterans, tell us a story

Doesn't have to be a hardcore story from when you killed that entire village full of sand niggers, amusing tales of negro and female ineptitude, other amusing moments, and family stories from the time your grandpa killed the nips and the krauts are welcome too.

Other urls found in this thread:

frinkiac.com/gif/S09E19/890388/896845/
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

Oh yeah also feel free to regal us with tales of lighting shit on fire inside of metal drums as well friends

Sup Forums is full of autistic larpers
Your best bet would be /k/

A humvee in a convoy I was in got shot at. I've got PTSD now.

True but these threads are usually good

>I remember when I was back in Nam
>Birmingnam Muslims to the right of >us,Muslims to the left of us! our only chance >to escape was to use the M6 outter hell and >to safety of Manchester !
we made it Manchester was muslim shithole to
the end

Damn user, you just gave me ptsd

Thx 4 dat service m8

>US Navy
>walk into office to talk to buddy
>LCPO is dumb nig
>leave a bottle of spray detergent on the desk as I talk to buddy
>LCPO geabs detergent and uses it to clean glasses right behind me
>seconds later starts screaming that his eyes burn
>detergent is highly irritable/corrosive to eyes and can leave rashes on skin
>he's just sitting at desk while I leave for four hours

>Be me
>Combat engineer
>Invade Iraq
>See first Muslims
>Muslims want muh food
>Give Muslims porkchop MRE
>MFW

I had a Black Squad leader that got literally lost in an open field. Poor dumb fucker was sent 200m north to observe a road and when he was supposed to come back he decided to go 1600m west over two barbed wire fences and a road. All he had to do was go 200m back south to where the objective rally point was. He's lucky it was just training and not real life because he would have killed his team that was with him

The dozens of times we came across Iraqis and Afghans fucking goats and donkeys. Literally everywhere.

Back in the day the dehydrated pork patties were the shit.

One time I was on a joint service base in a big storm, and lightning blew out the grid. I was outside having a cigarette in the underhang of this big shed with backup generators in it with some air force Arabic linguists, right when it happened. So all the lights go off through the base and they look around, then the immediate hellish wind up of the generators, which sounded like they aren't gonna level out and maybe will just explode, and these two guys shout and take off running into the wind and rain and darkness. Genny levels out, lights come up about maybe twenty seconds later and I can see them walking back from like 100+ yards away totally soaked and a bit sheepish.

>Be me inna Afghanistan on patrol
>CO calls up LT
>Hey we're getting reflections you're about to get ambushed
>They're going to set it off with an IED so have fun
>6 hours of walking around waiting to get ambushed
>Asshole worn out from puckering and I'm struggling not to prolapse
>LT finally calls back up about this ambush
>They said they forgot to get new batteries for the detonator
>Sent a guy to the bazaar to get fresh ones
>BOLO dude in a man dress buying batteries
>Yeahokay.jpg
>Walk through bazaar on the way back
>Didn't see him oh well

SNIGGER hahahaha well played sir

They love fucking kids and animals. Man love Thursday is their most holy day. It's weird that they hate fags yet put makeup on little boys and fuck them in the ass.

Wait what? Man love holiday?
There is such a thing?

I was smiling. Watching an Afghan police-officer handing a kid a candy bar, I couldn't help it. It's the little things that keep you from going crazy. Then the ground erupted between them. “Impacting bullets”, my brain registers before my body. The air rips with the snap of incoming rounds. The child falls like a discarded mannequin, the policeman limps away, shot in the thigh.
“FUCK!”, my friend yells down from the roof as he lays down suppressing fire, “They are right over there!”. Feet away, an apple grove that I could spit on. I take my position behind a wall, laying on my stomach, rifle towards a hole. I peer through my sights, looking for the enemy. The grip of my rifle feels good against my palm.
My heart pounds, loud in my ears. I breath steadily , my heart slows. Control. I can see my sights rising and falling with each breath, a rhythm. The snap of bullets still tears the air around me. Disregard. A man behind a black van. I see him, he doesn't see me. Exhale, slow steady squeeze. The rifle's kick is comforting and familiar. I continue breathing and scan the area. No one is standing behind the van now.
The sound of battle again comes to the front of my senses. My friend is calling for tourniquets as he presses down on the police-officer's leg. The man's femoral artery is spraying blood all over the room I imagine, all over the rest of the children they have put in there for protection. I stay focused. Behind me another friend sprints across the street carrying a cot to use as a makeshift stretcher. Instinctively I lay down covering fire.

>1/2

Man Love Thursday
It's when their sand deity forgives their hard gay transgressions upon the asses of men

Two more Marines climb the ladder next to me to assume over-watch positions on the roof.
I survey the scene at the intersection. The child’s eye bulges, brain-mater pushing against it from the back of his skull. “Hm”.
Again I turn to my hole-in-the-wall. Behind me I hear two of the policeman's Afghan comrades carrying him. Good. Their friend is dieing, they must get him to the evacuation point. They stop.
“What the fuck are you doing!”, I yell.
My blood boils as I imagine the situation if the man on the stretcher were a Marine. Still, we fight together, we die together.
“Your friend is going to die! Do you understand that?” I futilely yell. They don't understand a word. The Afghans are afraid to cross the open field, as we are still under attack. There is no time for this. I reach down and pick up the front of the stretcher, my heart pounding as I start running. The two Afghans grab the back of the stretcher, moving as fast as they think they can. Not fast enough.
“You have got to hurry the fuck up!” I say.
They do.
He made it, we later learned. We handed the dead child over to his parents.

>2/2

was raised by a guy that survived a helicopter crash in vietnam.
medic responding to call in chopper in remote area. pilots killed, "al" survives the crash, crawls under a log knowing shit is coming.
hears gook niggers. gook nigger stand over log.
kabar straight up. dead gook nigger, hilt deep in the taint.
gook niggers come, take "al".
gets to camp sees shit load of americans being tortured. they make "al" patch up gook niggers for 2 weeks.
choppers come, gooks explode, freedom.
grandfather served in korea, favorite quote - "never shot a white man".

>Be a few days into a 2 week long patrol
>Guy falls down and breaks his ankle
>Needs medevac
>Call up medevac
>Strap him down on a skedco
>Rifle through all his pockets and steal his cigarettes, dip, and lighter
>"Where are the cigarettes in your ruck fucker?"
>WTF man
>"You're going to the rear you won't need them"
>Steal all his smokes, beef jerky, and candy while he's strapped down
>Load him and his gear into the helicopter
>Pass all his shit around
>Literally smoking one of his cigarettes as he gives me the stink eye flying away
>Wave

Long patrols turn you into an absolute unfeeling savage.

pic related to your related pic, door gunner for ch47. dropped sf and rangers at missions. lots of firefights in the months of ramadan. got to shoot inside 2 mosques. many more which cant say for obvious reasons. BEST TIME OF MY LIFE

Once saw two dogs fucking in the middle of the night with my night vision while sitting at a checkpoint. Made sure to call in suspicious activity on the net to make the rest of the guys watch

Went to Iraq. Shit hot. Went back. Shit hot. Went back. Finally midway through someone got the bright idea we shouldn't fucking be there. Came home. Here Republicans rant about how Isis means we should go back

Hate republicans. Just wanting to charge you for weapons. Best thing we did was get the fuck out. Never go back. Anyone who talks about it in detail didn't see shit.

You niggers are fucking cunts. I've seen one of those things hover their ass over the very tip of a mountain and load/unload bodybags full of ammo & MREs but you cunts make us walk like 90 miles to get optimal pick up sites.

...

>go to school
>get ptsd
>conscription
>get discharged as unfit
user's life story.

>Doing 12 hour overnight shift on RAID cam
>Thing is pretty neat zooming in on shit for awhile
>Eventually just put it on auto scan and down like a half gallon of rip its trying to stay awayke
>Dawn finally hits
>Bunch of local Afghans milling about a village and organize a water run
>Watch them get a whole shit load of water from a river
>Go back to town
>Dropping water off at a building with no roof I can see inside
>Bunch of women start streaming in
>Oh shit nigga I'm about to see naked women
>Fully perked up
>Extreme zoom
>Suddenly super interested in all the various functions of this camera trying to improve focus, contrast, etc
>Crisp AF picture
>SOG walks in
>Hey nigger what the fuck are you doing?
>"Monitoring patterns of life Sergeant"
>I'll take over for a bit guy

Never even got to see a tiddy.

There was a woman in my squad. She couldn't keep up with us.
We ended up having our CO yell at us every time we did exercises because of her.
I got to blow up some shit. It was alright. Very boring though. Military is the entire reason I read so much these days. I'd read fucking anything I could find to stop the boredom.

Beirut, Lebanon 24th MAU. Nothing but lulz, bichez

>going through village looking for weapons and contraband
>village friendly to enemies
>check fighting age men i.d
>hear a commotion
>head up to investigate
>villager laughing at us
>ask him what he's laughing at
>keeps laughing
>Bunny speaks up "Fucking pussy, man. He's laughing at you. That's the way the gook laughs. "
>"Yeah, sure you are. You're real sorry, ain't you? You're just crying your little hearts out about Sandy and Sal and Manny."
>Sarge speaks up "Forget about it, Bunny, huh? Let's go. What do you say? "
>Bunny cocks his shotgun and blows the guys head off, skull, brains and shit everywhere
>"Holy shit! You see that fucking head come apart, man? I never seen brains like that before, man. I bet you the old bitch runs the whole fucking show, man. She probably cut Manny's throat. She would probably cut my balls off if she had the chance. "

I don't like to talk about much lads but I'll leave you with a quote

"Rejoice young man in your youth..." -Ecclesiastes

Not a story of my own but a guy that used to come into Gamestop and talk to us for hours on end told me about the time he was in Vietnam.
They arrived at a village and the kids were asking for candy. He said that some of the GIs would have candy bars on them so the kids would ask. He knelt down to give a kid a candy bar and the kid, who he estimated was about 8 or 9 stabbed him in the top of his shoulder with a small punji stick. He hit the kid with the butt of his gun and knocked him out. Within a split second his commanding officer stepped up and shot the kid in the head while still on the ground.
He was like "what did you do that for?" and the CO said it had to be done.

He told me a few stories but that one stands out the most, especially since he acted it out a bit. He did not enjoy his time in service at all.

>go to USMC boot camp
>get called a faggot for 89 days
>go to MCT
>fuck up my back
>go to com school
>get in trouble for drinking in barracks
>get to HQ squadron
>do job of a government contractor for 1/3 the pay and +15 hours over typical 40
>go to SEC+ course
>don't receive cert
>want to kill sand niggers
>get to reset Lt Fucknut's email for the third time a month

wow i loved being a Muhhreeeen

That one time, our DI (a raging manlet) was totally fucking drunk and yelled at us until he lost his voice. Whole platoon chuckled constantly. Standing straight for like forty minutes and trying not to laugh too loud was a real challenge.

Also, if you want a cool job where you can actually shoot off the range, and shoot a rifle that isn't some broken yellow tag shit, get a 55 or lower on asvab. Just tank that shit hard. Be a retard.

>be moving through jungle
>see a spot that would be good for a camp
>shady, just on the treeline, good view of approaches
>move quietly up to it solo
>see it has many hammocks and some boxes in it
>looks like everyone there is asleep, no sound for minutes
>figure i can run through it firing and get to cover
>deep breaths
>run through shooting shapes in hammocks, get to other side and cover
>no sound, bugs, birds upset at gunfire
>still no sound
>no sound or movement
>get bored
>move quietly back
>hammocks are all occupied by humanoid masses of maggots
>injured enemy left there with a couple cigarettes and best wishes
>mfw just shot up a bunch of dead blokes

submariner here

nothing exactly war worthy but...
>underwater tube filled with educated males, small percentage of idiot service rates still ok.
>no SJW bullshit, call each other faggots, swear as much as possible, little speech policing outside professional reports.
>everyone gets treated like shit for fucking up, no passes for anyone, everyone is encouraged to police everyone else
>most guys will have your back, hide your mistakes if they can and talk to you about it later
>every port involves strip clubs, bars, and brothels.

(((they))) want to introduce women and trannies into one of the last bastions of an all male workforce.

What part of Australia was this in?

kek this is the best

...

Whats going to happen when there is a emergency and the Commanding Officer is Dialating for 30 minutes?

Gotta say, some of the most emotional stories you'll ever hear are bullshit and you can tell because they have a regular shape and make sense.
Not saying your buddy is lying, just saying.

half 'o this shiite is COD

Be me Navy C-2 Greyhound pilot in western Pacific
Circling over USS Independenvve waiting to land
No passengers
We have.funny idea
Ask F-14 pilot and RIO to join up
Said we think we have a crack in our back window.
Tomcat tucks in close
Tomcat pilot said hardy har har mother f'rs on Badman Base common freq
Our aircrewman was mooning them in back window
Pressed fat naked ass against window
We won that little dogfight fair and square C-2 vs a fucking Tomcat!
1 - 0.

What did the girl do?

Nui Dat

...

well fuck it didnt take it all but here's the link.

frinkiac.com/gif/S09E19/890388/896845/

>smokers are people too!
>will literally steal from a cripple if they need their fix
Too bad you didn't catch a bullet cunt

These are some stories I've heard from my brother

>commissioned officer in infantry
>keeps telling story of how he caught a dog with his bare hands and threw it back like a football
>everyone keeps encouraging him to tell the story for laughs
>co leaves your thinking he is every soldiers herobecause every where he goes they ask to hear the tale

>Be arty in meal line for lunch.
>Serving sausages.
>Turn to buddy behind me and say I can't have them cause I'm homophobic.
>Guy in front of me is gay and heard me.
>"The fuck did you just say?"
>Mfw everyone has lunch that day thinking you're retarded or just have something against gays.

All the shit bags smoke on there first 4 years, the ones that bypass it start it up again on the late 2nd or 3rd enlistment and then get out.

Tobacco is the stupidest shit ever nigger.

USMC. Last bastion of masculinity.
Got stationed in Japan, slayed Japanese, Filipina, and Russian pussy.
Then stationed in Californiacuckistan. Hate fucked plenty of lefty Lucies.

Deployed to Iraq, in the history books. Feels good man.

I don't think he was lying. You could tell he was affected by his time there. He came back from it very anti war, and we all got the same stories from him.
I still keep in touch, we're friends on PSN lol

That reminds me of a time I spent in the jungle and your mom kept wanting to suck on Alabama black snakes long time

>be me
>stationed in Kabul in '05
>only 20 years old, naive about everything
>see little girl near side of road
>go over to say hi with other guys
>give her bottle of water
>start back to truck, hear commotion
>turn around and 12-14 year old boy hits girl and takes water bottle
>go back over and slap kid across the face, pick up little girl from dirt
>yell at kid to warn him off, threaten
>go back to truck, start off - see boy grab girl again and start hitting her
>get ready to fuck the kid up, held back by seargent
>breakdown in tears back at base, realize the world is shit and want to come back home

Needless to say it was an eye opener. Survival of the fitness, these people are literally animals over there. The child abuse and spousal abuse would make your skin crawl.

women=drama
Can't have that on a submarine.

>Grenada
>No Maps worth a shit
>Come upon Hotel near shoreline
>There is an alleyway you have to cross
>To get to Hotel
>Told to cross and get lit up
>Had holes on BDU's from rounds
>Firefight ensues
>British fool walks out asks if I'd like a drink
>Rounds everywhere
>He survives without taking cover
>We killed 4Cubans
Feels good eradicating commies from the western hemisphere. Thank you based Ronnie.

I'm told every soldier returns with a social conscience, but some people love it and never do anything that means as much and others won't talk about it and value their business or hobbies more.
I don't know, but the 'poor me i'm traumatised' thing, i don't know.

Survival of the fitness indeed

only if you opened up your eyes even further, and see that pedophiles literally sacrifice children for fucking parties and shit. you live in a fucking tribalistc world where politicans and the rich sacrifice people to their god for more power.

Fucking auto correct.

Bullshit, if the injured one had any Korpsgeist, he would have passed around his stuff voluntary. Behind the wire you have access to everything.

Greek here. My grandmother lived in the village of Draconeri during WW2. She was a teenager. She saw a little boy ask a German officer for a chocolate and get shot in the head as a result. She died in 2012 and every night would cry in front of her candles and religious icons.
My granfather narrowly escaped execution by having a friend tell him to mention a certain officer's name if in trouble, which he did at gunpoint and thus I am alive today.

-my father

Was in Yugoslavia for UN
Got to go out with a convoy to extract some civilians stuck in giant hotel
Convoy had APC's dad remembers hearing "dings" from time to time (snipers shooting at convoy)
Arrive at hotel, get inside
Civilians get loaded into the convoy
Fire fight starts at the other side of hotel
Convoy full with civ's so they leave to bring them to safe spot
Dad was offered seat with the convoy but he gave the seat some civilian
Decides to stay there with the others who also decides to stay. And the force that was supposed to stay
Dad goes there to help out
Sees a wall/fence
(meanwhile firefight continues but is lead by different squad) dad watches flank
Wall is about medium range
Sees 2 hands pop up trying to climb wall
Shoot at wall/hands
Spends rest of time waiting looking at wall
Convoy back.. They go back to HQ/base

He was pretty sure he killed or wounded the guy as he shot with a FAL that 7.62 probably didn't care much about the wall/fence.

Am newfag.. And nut guud @ English

No no! Too beaucoup! Too beaucoup!

>deployed with 3 bros
>Afghanistan
>mountain insertion
>get discovered
>oh fuck oh fuck
>run for our lives
>too much gear, cant escape mountain dudes wearing dresses and toting rusted ak47s
>mates get killed
>run run run
>chopper comes to save me
>11 year old with vietnam era rpg takes out multimillion dollar war machine and my mates
>find a village and cry to old man
>tell them I'm a nurse through tears
>old man looks after me
>leave him and run back to base
>make up story about how brave we were, in reality we were all scared and running for our lives, every man for himself
>get medal
>drive across America with sniper rifle because someone patted my dog
>now work as alcoholic Tony Robins

i know a guy who fought in vietnam, he really doesnt talk about his war stories or anything but how ever he did tell me one story its boring as shit but ill contribute. lets call him louis
>pete is with squadron in field training incase of attack or ambush
>sergeant hands out barely first issued machine guns which are pure garbage wood chippers that waste alot of bullets
>he tries to refuse it saying he prefers his rifle
>sgt tells him forcefully to take it and train with it your just training
>pete says fine ill train with taking 200 bullets
>wastes a whole 25 clip instantly
>he goes up to the sgt and says you take this back its garbage i cant deal with it
>sgt gives him his rifle back

thats all i really have, i have a doctor who fought in vietnam aswell but he refuses to talk about it, and hes on bipolar medicine so i rather not dig to far.

meant to change his name to pete, but you get the point.

>tfw Q Larp threads brought boomers to pol with faceberg tier posts like this

they put women officers on our bigger subs.

all of them were either fired or quit.
not a word from the press.

but two guys put a camera in the women's shower and EVERYONE FUCKING KNOWS ABOUT IT AND NO ONE PREDICTED IT!

How do you get that job bro?

he has shit all over his house proving he's a vet along with a military id. You made a post that was based off a movie. also i meant to type grandfather for the person that fought in Vietnam. But i typed something totally fucking different.

6 months out at sea and the only woman is a butterface with a shitbody

turns into the hottest thing you want to dump your cum into until she gets pregnant and sues everyone for rape.

He didn't act like "poor me" more than anything he was angry at the way things were done. He appreciates life and family more but he never tried to sugar coat it or act like it was somehow cool to see your friends or little kids get killed. He didn't have a depressed demeanor but at the same time he didn't tell those stories cheerfully. Just down to earth basically.

>based off a movie
The movie was based on me, bud

did you get to suck the dog off?

>Me, C-5 Flight Engineer
>go to Turkey, eat kebab
>get food poisoning from unsanitary prep
>entire crew shitting our brains out on the flight back to Germany.
>coming in for a landing, pilot nearly shits himself as the wheels touch down.
>tell crew chief we need the shitters drained.
>connection is not tight, 20 people's shit leaks out all over the flight line.
>give him a ohnothatsucks.gif face.
>hop in the van drive to hotel.
>shit my brains out while drinking German beer for 3 days.

10/10 would do again.

NICE

>20 peoples shit covering you
OWO

...

A classic.

20+ year Army vet here. AMA. The memes are real. Women are whores, barracks gangbangs, claim muh sexual assault and muh PTSD. Niggers are lazy and disorganized. Everyone else is a larping faggot. Only 2% of the Army is actually worth a shit. The defense budget should be cut in half. You are being lied to and ripped off.

>be me, Navy, cory station
>time in has been shit
>sign up as nuke, shit happens at ballston spa, leading to everyone in class ending up not passing prototype
>2 years of life wasted
>over another year spent at Groton
>Pointless temdu jobs, but actually get free time now, so pretty good really
>Eventually get approved to crossrate, heading down to florida
>Drive over 1,100 miles, get there, get told i'm on same liberty program as fresh boots, this included not being allowed to drive
>many months pass, varying between stupidly easy training classes and ever longer times of waiting to class up
>Downsizing occurs at the 4 year mark
>Getting needs of the navyied out
>Nobody does anything
>Stuck there for over 6 months doing nothing, knowing that I'm getting out
>Sick of the fucking faggot staff not doing their job so I can get out already
>Tell them I'm heading to an office to get things done
>They no like, but they can't stop me because this shit takes priority
> Tensions rise. One day some boot tells me the 1st class faggots in the office want to see me
>arrive, they show me paperwork and say I'm going to mast.
>ask for what? They say for being UA
>point out that they found me exactly where I was supposed to be, on a working party with 3 other guys.
>They don't care, say I'm going to mast anyway. I tell them no and that I'll take a court marital instead.
>They stare at me with their mouths opened, like the cocksuckers they were. They stutter that I can't do that.
>Explain to them that I can and that I'll gladly see them perjure themselves in a military court because no way in hell are the 3 guys and the runner all going to lie to cover their shit asses.
>They angrily yell at me to get out. I leave office with smile on my face.
>Realize they'll try this shit again though. So crank it into highgear and start playing dirty.
>Find a weasly O-4 I had to talk to before
>He's a vain asshole. I play to his ego about how he was right about everything all along. 1/2

tell us stories

>get weasel to make some calls
>have a discharge date
>did in less than 2 weeks what the worthless staff couldn't get done in 6 months
>Manage to piss off all the staff that tried to fuck me over by reminding them that I'm getting out with an honorable discharge
>see weasel officer during checkouts
>he tries to act sympathetic and assures me that general discharge won't ruin my life
>I tell him I'm getting an honorable discharge and watch as his smile fades
>fast forward to now
>graduating debt free with an engineering degree in less than 3 weeks
>FeelsGoodMan
>FTN

2/2

All the best military stories are dudes talking about taking shits in unusual places or under duress in unusual circumstances desu

anyone get the chance to rape a muzzie woman? what was it like

I was on an operational fast attack submarine in the cold war.

And thats all I have to say about that.

It was pretty exciting.

I don't expect you to understand

>Be me, 2001
>Durkas durk into the twin towers and pentagon
>decide to enlist once I'm old enough
>Now 2006
>Just graduated high school
>Join the army
>Put in infantry
>Go through training, ship out summer of 2007
>Go out on first patrol
>Humvee gets BTFO by an IED
>I am the only survivor
>All but one friend died instantly, other one died waiting for medical care
>I lost an arm and a leg, face badly disfigured
>face is fixed now, my nose is a bit smaller but otherwise look pretty much the same as before
>arm and leg replaced with shitty prosthetics
>Mostly just sit around the house collecting gibs

3/10, would not recommend.

I went to S8G back in the day. Lived two blocks from the mcdonalds with the abner doubleday palque. wtf happened?

...

during a 9 day mission in southern Kandahar, my fire team assaulted a compound of a village in order to secure it.

One of the rooms I cleared had a literal retard chained to the floor. It came at me with arms swinging, uttering gibberish. I almost reflexively shot this thing. Anyway, it was just surreal. They actually chain their retards and leave them bowls of food like you would with animals.

...

Man love Thursday is "when Allah is blind" according to the syncretized pseudo Islam that batshit Pashtun goat-fuckers follow. Basically they just rape each other (dudes only) a lot on Thursdays.

I would imagine their pussy smells like curry and their buttholes are dirty

Wtf could happen to drop an entire class?

Whatever nigger the one guy that did get shot on that patrol got hit in the arm and he laughed his fucking ass off and told us to have fun carrying his shit back. He gave up all his smokes voluntarily.

I got medevaced about 2/3 the way through and ended up mailing all my gear home to make room for $700 worth of smokes and dip. I ended up flying back to my unit in a black Pima (not Puna) suit & boonie hat. PSG was about to chew me the fuck out until he saw all those Newport’s.

Legitimately 80% of my company were smokers and 100% were tobacco users. Don’t know what kind of high speed outfit you were in but it was the standard in my unit.