You are now in a Holy Grail War...

You are now in a Holy Grail War, and have 30 minutes to find something inside your house that can be used as a catalyst to summon a servant.
What is the catalyst, and who's your servant?

Other urls found in this thread:

suapesquisa.com/folclorebrasileiro/lenda_boto.htm
twitter.com/AnonBabble

I could probably summon Medusa with my LoGH novels.

I can summon the Virgin Mary with my dick.

I have 4 Japanese swords so I guess I summon someone from the Saber class.

So maybe Musashi

I have a dildo I used on your mom, so I guess I can summon Sakura.

I got a Christmas card laying around so I summon Santa Claus.

Sergei Ivanovich Mosin

I want her to sit on my face.

A connection to Sup Forums and Kirito

Don't have anything history related so I'll summon Zyzz with my creatine I guess

Musashi, the bearded old man, or Musashi pic related?

kek

I got a wooden buddha and some old Greek discs

So either Sanzou or any of the Argonauts?

Alter Saber Santa?

i could summon lancer with a 20 year old ticket stub from a blue man group performance i'd reckon

I have an anthology of Andersen fables sitting on my headboard.

Mjolnir pendant I was given as a joke gift, so I summon Thor.

I guess we can both wear dresses and get shitfaced together?

What could I summon with a blown guitar amplifier?

i got a bible

surely this will summon some upper-tier servants right?

Depends, is it a Marshall Major?

A++ will chuckle again

I'll summon myself from the future.

I own a couple of Silla artifacts so maybe there's some Korean hero I could summon?

It's a cheap practice amp my friend left here when he was kicked out of his house like 6 years ago.

Nice.

Friendly reminder that divine spirits can't be summoned as servants, anons. The only way the goddess of prostitution could be made a servant is because she possessed Rin.

I've got a really old penny, I'll summon Teddy Roosevelt.

>Several swords of different cultures
>A box full of knives
>a couple spears

I pick the glass of water at my side. Give me a badass Caster that will drown my foes.

If I use a light bulb will I pull Edison?

I have a vast collection of Historical Artefacts, so I have it lucky. I have a Finnish Helmet from WWII, so I could summon the White Death. Or Roman Pottery for a Roman Hero. Or Anglo-Saxon Brooch for someone like Hengist and Horsa. I have a Musket Ball from Waterloo which could give me Napoleon or Wellington, a shard of the Wall of Constantinople for a Byzantine Hero or Sultan Mehmed the Conqueror, or a chunk of rock from one of the Pyramids of Egypt for Ozzy or another Egyptian Hero.

I've got an embarrassment of riches for a Holy Grail War catalyst.

I have a book about Donald Trump. What can that get me?

Bankruptcy

I have a Vive, so I guess I summon the VR Industry as my servant since it's dead

Me on the left.

I sacrifice a tank of propane and a medium rare steak to summon Hank Hill as berserker.

With a glass of water you can summon the 'Boto Rosa', a creature that exists in a brazilian myth. It's a deceiving creature that looks like a handsome womanizer and you could use him to seduce the female masters and kill them... Somehow. Its true form is that of a cute pink dolphin too.

I choose my t-shirt.
I summon Counter Guardian me from an alternate universe where I won the Holy Grail War, and ended up signing a contract.

Now I just need to follow my CG advice in order to win the HGW.

Check mate faggots.

Just control of the largest military in the world
nbd

>bible some homeless looking guy gave me on the street
we samson boys

I use a trash can to summon Saber.

He doesn't look very Jewish.

All I got around me is a can of Pepsi
Can I do anything with that shit?

My guns. I'd summon the white death sniper from Finland.

I use an A/C generator to summon Tesla

My servant is Archer Kaga, her NP are 1 million Koku and F-35b

>YFW Zyzz is a Berserker who powers up via rave music and europop dancing

Then dies of heart failure before his first fight.

Trunks was too late with the pills.

>meme-35b
>shitposting on fate threads
Seriously kagafag?

Could I technically summon myself?

Like, could I create a self fulfilling bullshit prophecy using time fuckery?

I guess I can summon Steve Job with my iphone, although he be pretty useless in the holy grail war.

You just fucking won the war

You can summon the King of Pop.

pun intended

Kek'd

No matter how much we lift, we will always be anime watching weeaboo faggots at heart

I have glasses and the log horizon BD's, so do I summon Shirou as caster? Or Marielle as sperm dumpster.

You guys forget that when something like that happened, the servant tried to kill his past self.

...

I have a long ass shitty bo staff so I could probably summon Ip Man

I use my computer to summon Lain

Karna is my husbando

>I have the 5 pieces of exodia
>So I summon exodia

How fucked are other servants?

>implying that's not a net gain

Seriously, though, wouldn't that seriously fuck time? Grandfather paradox stylee? What I'm suggesting is, that I summon myself, which would assume I did something cool enough to become a servant, which guarantees that I go down swinging at least, if not actually win the grail.

Failing that, I've got the Lovecraft anthology next to me.

Sacrifice a tank of propane and a Deere lawn mower to summon him as Rider.

I got a Guan Yu bust sitting on the kitchen counter, does that work?

Classic ThinkPad laptop, I summon Richard Stallman as Caster. His main attack is dance magecraft and his NP is Interject for a Moment which freezes foes and allows him to bash them over the head with a high build quality laptop.

Done before.

Name: Zyzz
Class: Berserker

STR: A
END: C
AGI: D
MAG: E
LUC: D
Noble Phantasm: B

Class skill: Mad Enhancement - D
Restricts Zyzz to basic vocabulary such as "brah", but increases his base stats

Personal Skills:
Charisma - A
Greatest level of popularity, resulting in widespread fame and cult followings wherever he goes.
Divinity - D
Son of Zeus
Riding - C
Upon riding bicycles, Zyzz's Riding skill boosts his Mad Enhancement by one rank.

Noble Phantasms:
Mirin' - C
Blinds all opponents momentarily with defense skills lower than rank B. Suitable for retreat, but reveals Zyzz's identity.

We're All Going to Make It - B
Reality Marble that summons Zyzz's full cult following for a full out offensive. Though it may appear intimidating, the Noble Phantasm also carries a twinge of broken hopes and dreams.

What would his class be?

>Summon Weevil
Yeah, say Goodbye to Exodia

My modified 3rd gen World Rally Blue Subaru STI, summon Paul Walker as Rider.

I have lots of porn, can I summon mother of harlot?

This is fucking incredible

No, as in Saint Nicholas Santa Claus.

As a Rider he would get a stupidly huge fame bonus because not only does basically everyone know his legend, nearly every child age 12 and under genuinely believes in his legend.

As Caster he would have all of Saint Nicholas' ridiculous miracles.

There's no downsides.

I own a gun.

>can I summon mother of harlot
No, you can't summon Sakura's mom.

I guess most people have a drop of mongol blood in them, probably Genghis Khan or something.

Just got to reading this since it didn't (you) me.

That sounds fucking rad, what the hell. I can't google it because Bota Rosa only gives me women's shoes, but still.

If I use my semen will I be able to summon one of my ancestors? Or maybe a kind of counter guardian version of myself from some universe?

I use my Overlord CDs to summon Ainz-sama and all of Nazarick.

WE

>vietnam era M1 helmet
It ain't me

I have a Turkish airbase coin so probably a shitty plane flying rider.

kek. You should win the holy grail

Scratch that I remembered I have the collective works of H.P. Lovecraft in my basement. I can summon a raving racist madman who summons crazy tentacle shit

all I got is a big stick, will that do?

I have a Luger from WWII, I wonder who I would summon?

I summon Director ;_;

This is in portuguese, but it gets readable with google translate. I tried to get a cool picture illustrating him, but it seems that brazilian artists suck or don't care about him.
suapesquisa.com/folclorebrasileiro/lenda_boto.htm

I'll use the piece of meteorite I have to call upon the stars to summon Ayylamao.

She's a cute alien.

A German with another Luger

I found another article, but this is still pretty cool. Sounds like he'd be a total bro but job to anyone that's slightly competent

I got an Rx-78-2 right here. Does this get me angry old man or do I have to wait till he croaks first?

You get a whiny brat who doesn't want to fight.

I have a full size remake of the Lifehunt Scythe from DKS1 so if there's any justice in the world I'll be able to both touch fluffy tail and rend gods.

i have a shit ton of fantasy books and casul manga behind me i'll use those what do i get?????

Okay Google bankruptcy thing would come just been pissing me off. He will have it 4 bankruptcies out of 400 Ventures he started.

Not businesses are guaranteed to be successful you know that? No matter how rich you are.

People remember the bankruptcy Park but not the amount of other businesses he started

>spoiler
What did you expect. You are using a glass of water as catalyst, and your servant is brazilian.

>Dog tag I bought off of Ebay as a school project in the past

I summon the unknown WW1 soldier. His heroic spirit has no fancy powers, but his determination and tactical knowledge would be enough to fight one on one.

>Fighting an impossible fight
>He loses
>As he fades, he tries to tell you his name
>Before he can say it, he's gone
>A single tear drops down where his eyes were, echoing the words "Thank you for remembering me"

I wonder what my dragon dildo would bring home for me.

My Onahole.
Ishtar.

It's so hard to start up when Daddy gives you a small loan of a million dollars in the early 70's.

Everyone's favorite Berserker. Have fun.

Better than expected