It's the year 2000

You know everything you know now except you are at the age when you were in 2000. What do?

>Enjoy my childhood and focus on maths and science so I can be admitted to university at 18 instead of 20 :3

Gonna make sure not to be as close to the towers this time around as i was on 9-fucking-11 that's for sure, beyond that probably do a bunch of market trading to get rich so i can buy immortality when it's finally invented in 2040.

Invest heavily in bitcoin.

i'd make sure to avoid college and just travel the world like I originally planned.

I would be 5 and what I have seen and know now would probably cause me a mental illness

Get a trade apprenticeship, save money and buy acerage in a regional area while the prices aren't totally retarded.

Is it too late to buy shares in apple?

do everything exactly the same just to fuck with reason and logic so whoever programmed this matrix can be butthurt

This

I was 8

I would try to remember to be kinder to myself when I got a little older

Stock market in 08 - invest, vote for no Obama in '12, mine bitcoin, invest in bit coin, goto community college then a big school, don't fuck Meagan, workout more, don't settle at your job.

Butterfly effect user, what if you invested in btc and it never got as high as it is today in this timeline?

Kill Tony Blair

I get institutionalized until 18 and become Mike Myers, because nobody likes a 6-year old kid rambling about the global Jewish conspiracy to commit white genocide and institute global Communism.

Do better in school go for computer engineering get a doctorate in it, join the fire department & military earlier finish with bachelor's in fire science, paramedicne, military science . Invest in Google, Amazon, Gold, Silver and finally Bitcoin. Start a few of my own companies maybe my own ride share service before Uber or Lyft take off, get citizenship to at least one country per continent. Then with the wealth and knowledge I've accumulated fight back the ZOG with everything I've got. Try to get reactionists moments going up worldwide and help them avoid the honey dicking of neo-nazi, give them good speaking points, more Rhodesia less Reich.

Since it's 2000 I probably can't stop 9/11 in time, but sure as fuck can pay for UBL to get grabbed before the Iraq War vote.

My life is fucking rad, so everything the exact same.

waiting for 2nite by j lo was big that year. 99 by prince too. my gf at the time got fkd on x and screwed her bf (hot redhead bitch). next year i screwed her friend too.

Fly a plane into the twin towers on September 10th 2001 and have a pre-sent email to Bin Laden calling him a cuck and laughing how i beat him to it.

I'd be 6 years old at the turn of the century.

I'd start asking my family a lot of uncomfortable questions. I'd ace school, start studying martial arts earlier, join a shooting club, and invest in Google, Facebook, and Bitcoin as soon as I can.

I'd also be here from the beginning and call Moot a faggot from the start.

I would make sure Sup Forums fags don’t become basement dwelling virgins and band together on online image boards to feel special.

>not flying a plane into Mecca on 9/12 and starting WW3

I would use my knowledge of drugs and alcohol to put my weiner into girls poopers

I would buy bitcoins and I would invent teh AfD party , later I would rule ze world and buy millions of Stormtroopers with my 6 gorrilion bitcoins

Invest in Amazon.

You fucking madman

I was 21 and tearing up muscle cars stop light to stop light with an AWD DSM.

Buy more BTC

3.77 Bitcoins checking in.

I would ask the only girl who has ever liked me out

I'm going to sell all my dot com stocks at their highs, and watch the NASDAQ burn without losing my money

Buy Google shares.

Use my trust fund early and invest in Amazon, Apple, bitcoin, Facebook and Google.

Fix all the mistakes I have done

Politically speaking not much would change, it would still take me 7-ish years to be eligible to even cast a vote. I’d probably be even more into history and the humanities than I already was and absolutely annihilate some of the shitty history and social science teachers I encountered. I wasn’t even aware as much as I am now, but fucking hell I already knew something was off.

I’d probably search for something else to do than college, join the armed forces or something and afterwards go to college. With the knowledge I’d have now I would also invest every dime I had in shares for the big companies (Amazon, Google, Apple before the caught their big break).

Also brick this shitty Afghan retard in my neighborhood (he’s a welfare leech with 4 retard children now) and get off without as much as a warning. And bang girls, like all of them, hindsight is a motherfucker.

Save all my money and buy shitcoin in 2010

In 2000 i was 5 years old, so start by convincing my parents i can predict the future by telling them about 9/11 every single day until it actually happens, along with a few other smaller events along the way.

Then since i am only a child I will tell them a bunch of sports/political results to bet on (since I don't *currently* know any lottery results). From 2002-2008, and then in 2009 get them to invest nearly all their newfound fortune in BitCoin, and tell them to give me 80% in 2020.

I'd then spend my Trillions to build a fleet of gigantic floating nuclear-armed cities across the oceans and declare the Earth's seas (excluding territorial waters) as my own independent nation and charge extortionate tariffs on every shipping route on Earth unless the nations involved recognise my sovereignty.

When my son finally succeeds me as Lord of Neptunia, he will nuke the polar ice caps, expanding our territory and dealing a crippling blow to land-based civilisation.

Generations pass and the world is united under the Neptunian banner, the world's first gilled-children are being born, and Saturn's icy rings are being transported to Earth to flood the entire globe once and for all. 500 years later the entire earth is encompassed by an interconnected megalopolis, floating like a skin on the Panthalassic ocean. The old ways of humanity are but a hushed myth, and the world population soars to 40 billion, with my lineage in unquestionable, eternal reign.

____________________

The year is 2300A.O.
I awake from my secret cryogenics chamber built eons ago. I look out upon the creation of my descendants and shed a single tear.

My aquatic children support me as my withered legs drag and stumble onto the Lapiz throne, a crowd of 100 billion amphibious subjects stand in awe, hushed by the appearance of their ancient diety.

"I declare these lands to Britannia, may she forever rule the waves"

The crowd erupts in thunderous cheer.

This is for you 'Madge, God Bless.

GOD BLESS

No, the first iPhone won't be released for a few more years

Focus on physical fitness instead of video games, since I'm keeping all the personal experience I've already had with them up to 2017, so I won't be as thirsty as I was back then. I'd be in a better spot to get the jump start on that LEO career I want

>2000
>8 years old
>implore my dad to buy as much Apple as possible
>spend more time with my mom

serious answer. I was 13 but i used to get gifted money for birthdays/christmas and i would go all out washing cars and mowing lawns for cash:
>buy stocks in Apple, Microsoft - possibly, they've always been expensive, may hold off until it tanks, Amazon, Google.
>learn how stock markets work so i can benefit from the crash
>call in a bomb threat to the twin towers, saving thousands of lives and putting jewish war mongerers plans back into the planning stages
>buy a car immedietly after passing my test with al my stocks and shares money and use it to plow as much missed-opportunity pussy as humanly possible
>go to the same college because it was pretty bants and i know everything anyway
>buy my way into university and do something i'm actually interested in, debt free
>bet big on Brexit and Trump
>buy shitloads of bitcoin
>at this point i will be literally bleeding money so i'll buy a plot of land next to Elon Musk's house and build a slightly bigger house
>fuck you Elon

>Enjoy my childhood and focus on maths and science so I can be admitted to university at 18 instead of 20

Pleb.

Drop out of school, start working, save as much as I can, in 2010 invest everything in memecoins.
Profit.

>prevent 9/11
>bet big on Brexit and Trump
Changing an event as massive as 9/11 would have such huge ramifications that you couldn't even know if other massive events would then come about, at least in the manner that you know they would. Stick to getting anonymously rich senpai.

Good point maplebro. Also concerning is a possible C&C Red Alert scenario - by averting 9/11 do i create a bigger attack?

I would not date that one guy .

Fuck school. Go to work. Any work. Accumulate as much money as possible. Invest everything in KikeBook.

Go to zuckerburgs room when he was looking for Facebook partners

The Project for the New American Century was going to go forward one way or another friendo.

I would immediately make divorce plans.
I would still fuck my cousin but not get involved in a relationship with her.
I would place huge bets on every Superbowl.
I would keep the job but juke the system
I would turn and run when I saw Carly's face
I would keep my health up and not decline
I would never lie to Heather meaning our relationship would end after one date
I would never trust my 'friend' George
I would fuck Amber and then send her packing
I would handle the situation with Gigi much differently
I would cut off ties with Cathy much sooner
I would make another huge bet on the Trump victory and wait patiently for Jane to come into my life. Then we'd be rich and live happily ever after from this point forward.

Start a bank.
Then corner the online porn/gambling industry by making smartphone friendly applications and systems before smartphones become a thing.

>be 11
>Masturbate way less, maybe once a day
>Try harder in school
>Come out of the closet earlier
>Get on hormones
>Lead the SJW from the beginning and be famous
>Sleep with a famous celebrity
>Become queen of Europe
>Finally admit I've foreseen all of it
>Send SJW to death
>Get off hormones
>Finally masturbate more than once a day
#Feelsgoodman