If the British empire was a family

Prove me wrong.
>UK
The mature, soft spoken dad who loves telling dad jokes and creating bants. Type of bloke that doesn't speak unless he has something important to say.
>US
The oldest brother. Always winning, best at sport, has a lot of money and is successful in nearly everything he does, arrogant and loves telling cunts how it is and how they are shitcunts.
>Canada
Second born son, The annoying cunt that always tries to be funny and just embarrasses his dad and older brother, fails at nearly everything he does but lies to people and tells them hes a big shot.
>Australia
Third born son. Loose unit, always getting on the piss and blowing his money, loves a good ol scrap but is always there for his mates and his family. Funny as fuck, US always shows him off to his mates and brags to them about him.
>New Zealand
Youngest son. Pussy, always afraid to say what he thinks cause he doesn't want to rock the boat. Has a small circle of friends which he is the punching bag of. Gets bullied by his brothers constantly.

Am i right or am i right?

Other urls found in this thread:

nytimes.com/books/first/r/record-war.html
independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-developing-nation-regressing-economy-poverty-donald-trump-mit-economist-peter-temin-a7694726.html
theguardian.com/football/blog/2017/oct/11/usa-world-cup-2018-qualifying-soccer-football
usdebtclock.org/
time.com/4058520/american-military-losing-wars/
thehill.com/blogs/pundits-blog/economy-budget/314207-is-the-united-states-on-the-verge-of-another-economic
twitter.com/AnonBabble

no

change aussie to is a closet FAGGOT

quiet sheep shagger

Except every one of you fucking hates us.

NZ = cumstain on the mattress on which the others were conceived

this is a classic meme

Like this?

Switch descriptions for NZ & Canada

I'll say whatever I like.
Shouldn't you be out getting some bush tail for dinner or did your centrelink come through so you can get kebab?

Wait for all the leafs and sheepy fiddlers to get mad

NZ is the quiet chill mini UK who everyone thinks is good but really they're out getting stoned/binge drinking talking shit and redirecting it to Aussie who stole our lighter and claims it as their ow.

Looks good to me m80

kek yeah and then UK finds out you are smoking and shit and sits you down and has a heart to heart about you because he doesn't want you to end up like Australia because he knows Australia is a lost cause

Dude... I feel a breeze... I hear a rustle... Leafs incoming.

Dude we're not that bad. And the oldest brother fucked up the whole family anyway.

You realise there are 500,000 kiwis taking your jobs and fucking your women right now?

Have some more meth ya bogan fag.

NZ doesn't really have any room to be talking about meth. Don't nearly all of the cannibals there use it?

Also, I feel like even though we're good at sport you would constantly remind us that rugby players don't wear armor and grid iron football is gay.

>work for company that makes boats
>kiwi apprentice there
>hes 34
>3rd year apprentice
>wanted electrical apprenticeship
>boss wouldnt let him do it so stuck with marine mechanic
>decide i want to start trade
>want to do electical
>boss gives it to me
>mfw

>uk
crazed drunk of a father, gets some things right
>us
oldest son, strong like dad but hates him, took his husbands last name
>canada
softspoken, takes after mother, clean up after father and loves him despite abuse
>aus
crazed drunk like father with none of qualities, in and out of prison
>nz
no one really pays attention to him, he likes it that way, never knew mum cause she died giving birth to him

Know one mate who is electrician supervisor at a mine on 55 an hour, know another who installs telecomms equip for 50 an hr.

Know one who pushes about 3k of meth a week to trash aussies. He said he loves selling to centrelink parasites, even if they have kids (more bennies, more profit)

stop projecting on the meth thing, meth is a huge problem in NZ

T. Aussie who is mad about the ICC rankings

You have no idea how fucked you are.

>Canadian banter
Know a mate who lives over in NZ as a electrician, makes about 50/hr and breeds sheep and sells them to horny kiwis.
He loves selling to kiwi sheepy fiddlers, even if they have kids.

Fucking cringe

Meth is awesome.

Britain would be a sad old fart who constantly gets drunk constantly and reminisces about the better days of being an empire.

feelsbadman

kids these days ey?

Canada is the cucklet

AUSPOL

Canada is the chad

Your degenerate shithole of a country should just be annexed by the Americans already

I like it m8

>Australia
>Funny as fuck, US always shows him off to his mates and brags to them about him.

Why can't we share a border with you guys instead of Canada?

You left out the Cape Colony (white S Africa) and the Republic of Ireland

Lmao, ur stuck with us

Why are Russia, Ireland, Argentina, Chile, Iraq, Thailand, and France Jesus?

>Always winning
nytimes.com/books/first/r/record-war.html
independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-developing-nation-regressing-economy-poverty-donald-trump-mit-economist-peter-temin-a7694726.html

>best at sport
theguardian.com/football/blog/2017/oct/11/usa-world-cup-2018-qualifying-soccer-football

>has a lot of money
usdebtclock.org/

>successful in nearly everything he does
time.com/4058520/american-military-losing-wars/
thehill.com/blogs/pundits-blog/economy-budget/314207-is-the-united-states-on-the-verge-of-another-economic

get a dingo up ya mother's maggot minge, bogan cunt

This. I've fucking hated Canadians since before Sup Forums ever existed. Smug faggots for no reason. Would trade for ausbros to live near us in an instant. Just leave the abos behind.

>Smug faggots
Someone can’t hantz the bantz

>England
Dear ol' dad. Not afraid of anything. Bantmaster supreme, always has a corny fucking joke at the ready. Unfortunately, far too arrogant; can't admit when he's wrong, especially where Germany or France are concerned.

>Scotland
Mom, Absolute savage, will cuss you up one side and down the other, not that you'd know with her unintelligible accent. Really good at science for some reason.

>Ireland
Scotland's sketchy AF brother, accidently injected himself with nigger DNA some years back. Doesn't realize you can eat thing other than potatoes. Will never forgive England for fucking his sister.

>USA
Oldest child, ran away from home early on and never looked back. Fell absolutely ass-backwards into money and success before even turning thirty, went to his head, Believes himself to be invincible. The first to call out Dad's stupidity and the first to laugh at his own.

Canada
>Product of a fling between England and France. Kinda shy, may or may not be slightly retarded. Godly hockey skills. Makes the best beer out of everybody in the family.

Australia
>US's twin brother. Inheirited England's talent for shit-talking, Promptly elevated it to a form of high art. Doesn't give a single fuck. Shares wonder-twin powers with US, especially when chinks, japs and Canada get uppity.

>New Zealand
Wait... who? Never heard of him. Are you sure he's not just crashing the Family reunion?

kek shoudl also add that scotland always complains about everything because shes a fucking woman

>loves a good ol scrap

No, Canada is a hormone blocked nu-male feminist rebelling against his daddy USA, because patriarchy.

>UK
Husband Ireland left her, now in a downwards spiral of drugs and whoring herself out for $2 to Jamal and Mohammed, trying to have someone make her feel as beautiful as she used to be

>US
Born autistic. Possesses considerable retard strength. At times can direct it towards threats to his family, but mostly just sits around punching himself in the face and drooling.

>CAN
Bastard child of France. Wants to be with him, however, America lives downstairs and won't let her out.

>AUS, NZ
Came of age just before the rest of the family went to shit. Put as much distance between themselves and the rest of their trainwreck family as possible