Christchan wants to know if you went to church today?

Christchan wants to know if you went to church today?

I went, and was invited to go watch elf with some 3d people later tonight, including some attractive single women.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/user/InspiringPhilosophy/playlists
youtube.com/channel/UCrcrDXK620kopfSffPxrdTA
youtube.com/user/AominOrg
youtube.com/user/DrOakley1689
youtube.com/watch?v=97k4z6Qe7JM&t=18s
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

Watching Elf is where you messed up. Christmas and Santa is a satanic pagan holiday.

Yeah not looking forward to elf tbqh. a "she" is making christmas cookies though.

No, I don't like being out in public. It makes me uncomfortable.

>including some attractive single women.
lies,

attractive women do not go to church

Why? Are you ugly?

Not true, just gotta watch out for “born again virgins”

Yeah. I haven't been to the dentist in like 15 years because of it.

>“born again virgins”
I thought that was a joke from King of the Hill

If you can avoid the cock carousal for 12 full months your "spiritual virginity" magically grows back, and you aren't a dirty cum rag anymore.

Explaining where your half black children came from is a different problem...

lol wtf

Just admit you were sleeping around out of wedlock. Not to endorse that, but it's not exactly unusual. Fine you managed to demonstrate you can stop being a cum dumpster but you're obviously not a virgin anymore.

Indeed, heill Óðinn.

true story.
knew this ugly as sin druggy girl, she used to walk around highschool with vulgar shit drawn all over her, like

over her butthole, there was a arrow pointing down and it said,

>insert here

and she would hang out with the school faggots. Anyways, somehow she got invited to church, and I guess she got showered with so much love and affection, that within a few months, she transformed into a christ chan. She was still pretty ugly, but she went from like a 3 who looks like she was infested with aids, to like a 6 who was cozy and had her hymen in tact.

She also became really nice and ended up working for the church

maybe it can happen to you user? ugly people are still gods creatures...

Nah I went to church every Sunday until I left home. Good stuff. I still go on major holidays and stuff and it's /comfy/ but it's no magic fix.

A few times I've even been a stand-in usher or similar because they don't always have their act together. Wild ride, but I'm just too much of a sociopath or something.

I did and it was mostly elderly people. But that's not the point.

Elf is God tier movie
I unironically believe this
I've watched it every Christmas since it came out

...

No, church sucks.

No, elf romanticizes Satan* and doesn't talk about Jesus. Why? Because Dec 25 isn't Jesus's birthday, it's a holiday in which pagans would worship Kronos.

Being a whore is like being an alcoholic. They can't just cut back to a reasonable one boyfriend every 6 to 18 months. They have to go full "revirginized" cold turkey.

They are also about as insane and preachy as (former) alcoholics.

elf is a classic
and lovely ladies make laughter even better
win/win

doesnt really matter. They only used that date so it would be easier for 30 million some odd normies who grew up with that degenerate holiday to digest.

I never leave home

Reminds me of high school desu
A kid witnessed to me on the bus when i was 15 and I've been a Christian ever since. I'm 21 now. I was an atheist my entire life until that moment, and I had gay parents, so it was an extremely dramatic change in lifestyle for me. I went to church every Wednesday, Friday and Sunday up until last year (hosting Bible studies and working part time in the admin office as well as just attending the services)
I started coming on Sup Forums when I was 14/underageb& which is why I even still come on now (habit, curiosity, whatever else)

I took evangelism very seriously after I was saved and lived every day in high school like I was tasked with saving as many people as possible from the brink of death (which I suppose is actually fairly accurate).

I was nervous about graduating and having less people I could meet and curate friendships before trying to talk to them about Jesus. If I didn't constantly keep trying I felt like I'd waste the opportunity. It felt vital, almost all of my other church friends besides the kid I met on the bus were homeschooled. And I was right about this, it's been harder since.

There were so many people who made it out of the worst fucking situations because accepting Jesus' sacrifice. One time I felt like the Holy Spirit was urging me to walk to the bathroom even though I didn't have to go at all and it was all the way across campus. When I got there I heard a girl crying in the stall (I'm going to clarify real quick that I'm a girl too, but for context not attention). I felt so uncomfortable but asked out loud in the bathroom if she was okay and if she wanted to talk to someone, and we ended up talking (her situation was beyond fucked up but I've already written a blog at this point) and she came to my Bible study later that week. She's been a Christian since as well. There was another girl I shared my lunch with who I didn't know had an eating disorder (and cut herself) but she eventually accepted

>a christian life is the best life
WRONG !!
A PREGNANT LIFE IS THE BEST LIFE
because the most valuable thing in your life is your own people

>(I'm going to clarify real quick that I'm a girl too, but for context not attention).

You know the rules senpai. tits or gtfo.
You can keep your shirt on though.

youtube.com/user/InspiringPhilosophy/playlists

youtube.com/channel/UCrcrDXK620kopfSffPxrdTA

youtube.com/user/AominOrg

youtube.com/user/DrOakley1689

Good channels, hopefully they help people.

youtube.com/watch?v=97k4z6Qe7JM&t=18s

A true Gospel presentation. Hopefully those who haven't heard watch, and those who have can share this.

quite the story, user, you'll be in my prayer life

..Christ and has also been living a happy and normal life since.
There were many other girls who I was able to help out of darkness because of the courage God gave me and I still feel unworthy to this day. The biggest deal to me was my mom.
She ended up leaving her girlfriend of 12 years and has been going to Sunday service and Bible Study every week for the past five years. She's also looking for an "old fart born-again husband to pray and keep company with" now if anyone here is around 60 and interested, kek
There were also guys, but they tended to fall away. I'm not particularly beautiful, I had a hard upbringing, I'm poor, I was sexually abused by my father as a kid, I lost my virginity at 15 to an older guy who was literally just the first person who ever told me that I was pretty and that they cared about me, and I was celibate after getting saved even if people thought I had already been "wasted". I didn't care. I was saving other girls who hadn't lost their virginities yet. I was on fire. My life and how I viewed the world had changed forever.
But I think guys saw that in me and thought it was me, instead of the Holy Spirit. They were drawn to me and didn't know why. Maybe they thought it was because I was happy, or kind, or whatever else. They didn't see where it came from even if I told them plainly. They would come to church for a few months and then realize I wasn't going to be a hypocrite to my faith, and they'd leave. I
OP, good luck with these girls. There's not a lot of men who are steadfast in the faith. There were always more girls, fatherless girls especially, at my church. The church needs men right now. Even if you don't date them, be a spiritual leader in kindness and service.
Thanks for reading my blog

more proof that the "Christians" on Sup Forums are roleplayers

>I dont have a church to go to but really want to find one but im too shy
I envy you user

The girl I spent the night with on the navy base went after I left in the morning.

...

The Christian God Likes Penis Mutilation/Circumcision.

I did go to Church OP! And then I cleared my thetans using LRons proven technology, before me and some of the SeaOrg qt3.14s watched Battlefield Earth (shit is so cash). Why haven’t you signed the billion year pledge to clear the planet, OP? KSW!

> more proof that the "Women" on Sup Forums are roleplayers

ftfy

Well that's incredibly sweet. Thank you user
What state are you in?

Only on jews. its against jewish law to give it to gentiles cause that counts as body mutilation.

This

>elf
You're at the edge
>attractive women
And you're burning in hell

I went to church and shat on the floor and threw a burning bible in the toilet. And left and they forgave me cause I was created in god's image.

Good day.

>Typical everyday prottie ceremony