You wake up tomorrow

>you wake up tomorrow
>you’re in a dugout deep underground
>it’s spring 1918
>another soldier walks in and says shit in a language you don’t understand
>you make out one word
>kaiserschlacht

Wat do

Ich ben ein Berliner

I use my superior futuristic movement to win the war by myself.

>wake up undeground
>another soldier walks in
>"im so stressed out from all this fighting i need relief"
>you make out one word
>pants off
>mouth full of sweaty cock
>theres precum
>swallow his cum
>nice

Foreskin Pride

>>you make out one word
>Khende khokh, suka blyat!

Put the chauchat to work.

sounds like typical day in A-H army

kek

Defect, replace Hitler and win.

Do what Germans always do: lose.

Grab a potato masher and get me some tommies

still whiter than you amadeus

ADAD spam just got patched tho

>tfw the chauchat isn’t become a 2 hitter and is still getting the ADS reduction

Do I turn into a loli?

>lose to the entire rest of the world ganging up on you
Google Foregen and then tell other people

Hang around with this hard cunt, and go balls out against the Germans.

>be in a fortified bunker
>fall asleep cause fucking no sleep in forever
>wake up when Hun throws a grenade into bunker
>start going berko and wake up the 7 other aussie cunts
>charge out of the bunker to find yourself now 200 odd metres behind enemy lines
>fuckyoucunts.jpg
>kill the faggot that tried to grenade us
>see another bunch of unarmed Aussies being led away by Hans and kick the ever living shit out of them anyways, despite being outgunned
>retake the lines again by being a hard cunt
>be awarded the Military Cross for said actions, even though only being sighted for a DSO
>every other cunt thinks he should have gotten a 2nd Victoria Cross for it
>didn't get it cause he kept telling the Officers they were a bunch of faggots that didn't know fuck.

Godspeed Albert Jacka, you glorious fucker

Be like, "Damn. I missed the greatest army the world has ever seen."

Imperial German Army > Wermacht

damn

girl on the left, hngg

realistically, get shot

"I'm looking for a Corporal Hitler, can you help me?"

>Tell them i came from the future
>I prove it by happening dates
>Tell them everything i know about WW1 to help them win the war and prevent the Trianon Agreement
>After the war as payment i request the genocide of romanians
>Spend the rest of my life as a sportsman, hunting them

You'd still get invaded in 1920 for being a commie little bitch.

>another soldier walks in and says shit in a language you don’t understand

This was a daily occurrence in the Austro-Hungarian Army.

You misspelled "backstab"

His VC was because of an even crazier effort.

>be in the trenches in Gallipoli
>Turks take the trench opposite
>another aussies jumps up to try stop them, shot dead instantly
>Platoon Commander tells another guy to try help
>that guy gets shot dead instantly too
>Jacka tells the rest of the platoon to go to the end of the trench and start lobbing grenades
>charges the trench by himself, even though 2 blokes were just shot dead instantly trying to do the same thing
>gets into enemy trench, bayonets a couple of them, shoots the rest with a pistol
>Platoon Commander thinks he's dead
>the following morning, when they realise the trench is empty, take it
>PC realises Jacka held the trench, for 6-8 hours, single-handedly
>when the PC speaks to him, his only response was "well I got the bastards, Sir!"
>gets awarded the VC
>rest of the platoon, inlcuding the PC, call themselves Jacka's Mob, even though he's only a Private

I get to kill Frogs and Brits? Sign me up for this failed offensive
wheres my geswehr?

Just start singing "heil dir im siegerkranz" and hope for the best. Try to find my relatives in Hamburg maybe.

buy amazon stock

Write my future a sticky note, BUY STOCK IN APPLE!!!!
>Yell Heil Hitler

It was only called "Kaiserschlacht" after initial success, to capitalize on propaganda potential.
In any case Ludendorff bungled it by not following his own fucking proposals.

guten tahg

i played commandos, it works

The Italian front was fucking nuts.

>deadliest avalanche in history was caused by Austria-Hungarians and Italians both shelling the same mountain to bury the other side alive