So I against my better judgement and due to being a fan of Star Wars for the last 30 years I went to see TLJ hoping Sup Forums was wrong this time. It turned out Sup Forums was not only right, but it is even worse then you guys said.
The non-cultural marxist issues: - no character information or depth/development for anyone except Kylo. Nothing is known about Snoke and Rey is still a Mary Suewalker. - endless action and no talking, we must not let the 'tards with short attention spans be bored by dialogue - Luke was absolutely butchered and was Luke only by name, literally a different character (confirmed by Hamil himself who said the director did not allow him to act they way he thought would be Luke-like) - the Force, Yoda, ships and hyperspace mechanics were all butchered. It's like the writers have read no SW lore. Ships have hyperspace shields that prevent kamikaze attacks and Yoda would never burn books. - Leia is Superman
The cultural marxist issues: - all villains are white men, no exceptions, and they act like they are in Space Balls, caricatures - all heroes and all pilots!!! are 50% women and 50% niggers/spics/chinks - fat acceptance and pandering to China with the fat chink female sidekick - fuck rich people they all have blood on their hands!!! in the casino speech
..but by far the worst offender is the purple haired feminist admiral (pic related). Her EVERY SINGLE LINE is one of the following:
- fuck men - fuck DRUMPF - we are the #resistance!!! go to the street, kick out Trump and restore the US Republic
She was out of place to an extent that took you out of the movie. Like a different movie unrelated to SW was spliced in.
Can't we have space adventures without heavy-handed political commentary? The OT and prequels had none of that crap. This director will also make Episode X - XII. Fuck me.
Sup Forums is always right and I mean it unironically
Anthony Rivera
Must be rolling in his grave desu
Josiah Lewis
It's just a bad movie dude. Discard any political interpretations. They give the most screen time to the most dislikable characters, in this case that was ayy hol up dude and piggy-chink. Often there are sequences that make no sense or are inconsistent not only with the larger star wars universe but within the context of it's own story. Carrie Fisher can not even open her fucking mouth to say her lines, could you understand a word this old hag said? In a bizarre twist the absolute best scenes in this movie are the ones with chewy and the porgs.
Leo James
To be entirely fucking honest I expected to be annoyed by the stupid porgs put there to sell toys, but the little fuckers were actually entertaining. The only time I laughed was at the start when Luke threw the lightsabre and the porgs were all over it jumping on it and poking it, etc.
Levi Nguyen
I am waiting for a shit cam version so I can laugh at it knowing my shekels are safe
Ian Martin
There is a very good cam, but it's in Spanish
Julian Hill
It's funny because I have an opposite feeling about this movie. I totally agree on the inconsistencies. Bad characters, luke being hollow as fuck. Maries sue everywhere and shit. But I think you can give this movie an anti-communist interpretation as the main villain (if he can be called a villain) Kylo Ren is a caricature of a leftist, even quoting the Internationale (Of the past let us make a clean slate part). This movie could as well be about conservatives fleeing from red revolutionaries. In the end, isn't it a white kid holding the ring of the rebellion? I am maybe stretching it a bit far but this movie could be starship troopers tier.
Nathaniel Ross
I can’t stand the China pandering, it’s everywhere. They just want explosions.
Gavin Wilson
Condamnation of mansplaining? No. A good soldier follows his leader and don't do useless shit that put the escape of the team in jeopardy. Mutineers should be shot.
Aaron Reed
Luke is like a bitter, old boomer who regret to have raised a leftist millenial who overthrowed him to be manipulated by a bigger (((villain)))
Adam Torres
..and Admiral Tumblr?
They own Hollywood now, every big movie has them and they are always presented as heroes - Arrival, The Martian, etc.
Nicholas Nguyen
If this movie is so disappointing to hardcore fans then I'm glad I never got into the series. Stefan Molyneux says Luke's character arc is a metaphor for white extinction. youtube.com/watch?v=6l9go9X1EbE
Isaac Green
I've been a fan for 30 years, this is not Star Wars. This shit makes the old EU look fantastic.
The Thrawn novels >>> this shitpile.
Chase Jones
what a silly scene. It's like they thought they were making spaceballs 2 for a second there.
Christian Lee
It will be even more fun when Big Mouse will remake all original 6 movies, to change them in away to incorporate their propaganda and new merchandise. Star Wars is dead. Spliced apart by tumblr's trubo-slut farting with hyper speed. Let it go.
Lucas Cox
Want more?
Justin Morales
>- Luke was absolutely butchered and was Luke only by name, literally a different character (confirmed by Hamil himself who said the director did not allow him to act they way he thought would be Luke-like) everyone was expecting Luke 'obiwon; Skywalker but the stupid cunts had to try make Luke like dagobah yoda and it failed hard.
Grayson Allen
>russian flag
Uh oh, are you one of the Russian hackers that posts negative TLJ reviews? Pic related.
Gavin Gomez
>neither Luke nor Snoke actually fight anyone
what the fuck
Lincoln Young
Yes. We hacking your minds using quantum mechanics, that's why you don't like this shitty movie.
Luke Howard
YA THINK YOU'RE A HOT SHOT FLYBOY DON'TCHA
Grayson Turner
how do you think they power Disney World?
Luis Butler
i agree with all except the yoda part. he didn't burn the books as they were shown on the falcon at end. rey took them and yoda was trolling luke when he said she has everything she needs. it's one of the few things that fit with his character from the the OT. movie was over-stuffed with sjw messages but my main issue was it was kinda boring
Jordan Rodriguez
Fuck
Jeremiah Russell
Yes please
Carson Russell
>I went to see TLJ unless you snuck in you are a traitor to our organization, kindly die now before you encourage some other entity that is supposed to be feeling the pain of our ire
>how do you think they power Disney World? apparently dinosaur milk
Gavin Bell
Also fat girls get made fun of in Chinaland, there is no fat acceptance there.
No one is going to care about that Tran actress.
Dylan Garcia
that's why we're here
Austin Sullivan
Spoil the ending to as many normies so nobody goes to watch it. Some good salt to be had on omegle and similar places
Benjamin Nguyen
All righty then
Parker Lopez
Tran Solo?
Dylan Price
The future belongs to us.
Mason Morales
This is only the beginning
Landon Walker
...
Nathaniel Nelson
>caring about some Jewish run republic. Are you a cute euro fag
Samuel Cook
Thank you!
Nathaniel Campbell
why is it so violent?
Jace James
What the fuck? How do they justify this insanity, or is it 'It's magic I aint gotta explain shit!' tier?
Justin Long
>filename
Grayson Scott
Neverending Story was pretty good
Owen Bell
Prepare your anus for more
Angel Young
ok, that looks cheezy as hell...
Jose Walker
...
Ayden Cooper
I swear for a second there she's got her fingers on the lightsaber "blade." Reminds me of that stock photo chick holding the element of a soldering iron.
Dylan Thomas
This looks like a fucking Power Rangers episode.
Ethan Collins
fkn lol
Oliver Davis
...
Aiden Wilson
Isn't he frozen? Can't we resurrect him or something?
Colton Lewis
Power Rangers had better writing desu
Thomas Carter
Plus they are grabbing on to them and not losing hands or fingers.
Alexander Lee
Why did he bother dodging in the first place? Jesus christ, does this also mean his own lightsaber wouldn't have hurt Kylo whatshisface?
Brandon Bell
...
Sebastian Cruz
the FTL ramming was pretty cool though
Nolan Brooks
the lightsaber shit is straight ripped off from harry potter
Hunter Carter
what the fuck is the point of death stars if you can ftl ram stuff with a shuttle
Christopher Richardson
Yup, it was a force projection.... and he exhausted himself and died
Jordan Taylor
If you're going to post that video please post the good version
Daniel Miller
...
Anthony Miller
that's actually just footage of her "auditioning" for the force awakens with harvey weinstein
Andrew Jones
Star Wars ships have hyperspace shields to prevent ramming, but who reads the lore you know? Looks cool, so they said fuck it lets use it.
Isaiah Davis
So if he died anyway, what was the point? Buying time or something?
Samuel Jones
The purple haired lady never does or says anything even remotely implying that you retard. Both you and the people in the image are just projecting what politics you want to see.
Yoda lightning'd the tree because he knew Rey had taken the books; Luke did not. Thus, he saw an opportunity to teach Luke a lesson. No books were burned. You can see the Jedi texts in the same drawer Finn pulls a blanket from near the movie's end.
Isaiah Lee
Yes, it was literally buying time
Jason Gray
>pandering to China with the fat chink female sidekick
Tran is Vietnamese surname. The Mandarin romanization for the same surname is Chen. There's bad blood between China and Vietnam.
David Brown
I was going to skip this one, but now that you told me there a fat Asian girl involved, I have to go. Thanks.
Leo Rodriguez
he just...disappears? into dust?
Charles Gray
AND NOW FOR THE BEST SCENE IN THE FUCKING JEW MOVIE
John Perry
Good post
Anthony King
What the fuck?
Luis Brooks
God it's so fucking stupid they're on fucking battlefield and they give each other that stupid " ho fuck we should move" look and nod god damn it fuck you disney
why is phasma sold to us as anything other than a bumbling retard who marches into failure
Nolan Robinson
You should be ashamed of yourself for giving your shekels to (((those))) who are actively working to see you and your kin either dead or enslaved. Fuck you, traitor and fuck that 2 hour toy commercial masquerading as a movie.
Xavier Gomez
3 legitimately awesome characters: 1. Luke (at least he was at one point) 2. Snoke 3. Del Toro
They all die. Why?
Why?
Lucas Sullivan
i didn't think it could be this bad
Christian Howard
Chinks are chinks
Nolan Moore
>Being this upset over a franchise built to make money
Just kill yourself already. You have no stake in this. You are a fanboy faggot soyboy bitch
Oliver Lopez
>Carrie Fisher can not even open her fucking mouth to say her lines, could you understand a word this old hag said? >cocaine is a Hell of a drug
Anthony Johnson
I don't understand why the fight choreography is so bad. Surely they could have spent a fraction of their obscene budget to hire someone competent. Do they just not care?
Jeremiah Wood
How did that janitor end up escorting a Special Olympian onto that battlefield?
Daniel Campbell
...
Dominic Lewis
...
Nicholas Perry
Rey with no training beats Grandmaster Luke fucking Skywalker with the power of feminism
Mason Cooper
You can't say Disney panders to the Chinese market when they picked an actress of Vietnamese origin tho. China and Vietnam don't get along well.
Eli Wright
main problems with the film >FTL ram should have either happened as soon as she saw the ships were discovered or not at all. she let half the RESTISTANCE die for dramatic effect >how did Rei get up so fast from the lightsaber blast? how is she so strong and good at everything? >why didn't chewie just continue eating porgs? he had no problem killing and cleaning them with dozens watching so why then when the deed is already done? >why was there a master codebreaker in the exact same cell they get up in on casino planet? why add more dumb coincidences to the movie like that?
It was still fun and I could actually see watching it again in the future, and I want to see what Ren does with the first order
Blake Bailey
They're all white, especially the alien
Wyatt Clark
Watching a decent rip right now, only in the first 10 minutes, and can someone explain to me why the payload from the 'bombers' falls onto the dreadnought without any sort of propulsion? It's not like there's any gravity in space.
Nicholas Cook
It was probably as a FU to China since they picked a couple of chinks for Rogue One and the Chinese didn't give a fuck.
Jordan Gonzalez
*teleports behind you*
pssshhh, nothin' personal, kid
Christopher Perez
They look robotic. That's about the only answer I have.
Asher Parker
Lets not forget evil Luke COMPLETELY OUT OF CHARACTER trying to kill young Kylo
They actually hired one of the best in the business, a legendary kung-fu movies choreographer
