>second in command of government resigns >not in the OP Fucking kill yourself senpai
Owen Jones
I think we got a warning from a mod/jannie right at the end of the thread
Colton Cook
...
Jeremiah James
>Manchester United
Hahahaaaa
Jeremiah Rivera
What was that?
Mason Young
Probably for all the slagposting.
Benjamin Gray
>Losing to a team because they have 'city' in the name
Colton Wood
GO ON MNEGEBE BY SON!!! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!!!!!!!!!
Alexander Sullivan
Are scampi fries the ultimate pub snack?
Zachary Torres
It's 6.10pm.Deano's been queueing on the A76 for over half an hour.He can literally see his house across the ploughed field to his left.He's sure he can see shapes moving in the bedroom window, probably just the gf tidying.He checks his betyid account on his phone, his accumulator is racking up.He's up £14.65 on the championship results, maybe he should cash out. Nah they put that big button there to rob pussies, real legends hold their bets to the bitter end. Besides, that final bet on Mpogbe is guaranteed to come off and he's set to win £420 by 7pm. He turns up the radio as his favorite chart number comes on. He loves this fackin tune and sings his heart out alone in the car, barely keeping up with the lyrics. He stops singing abruptly as he makes eye contact with a lorry driver and resumes a manly pout. Luckily his shades hide his eyes so nobody can see the shame. Finally he swings round the huge empty roundabout and enters his road. He parks his audi up on the drive, making sure it doesn't grind on the bit of kerb again. cost a fucking bombshell to get that side-trim replaced at the dealership but it looks fucking peng now.Deano, still staring at his phone screen, doesn't notice the figures upstairs hurriedly moving about. He opens his pristene PVC doble glazed front door unit into his waste of space porch. His pointy as fuck shoes tread on pizza menus and tv liscencing letters. He picks up the tv license letter and thinks he should probably pay it. Deano's tv is so big you could probably see it from at A76 so he'd better be careful.He drops his keys loudly on the side and opens the fridge. Thank fuck! He has a can leftover from the weekend. Still glued to his phone, he shuffles to the back room. The space is bare except for his 65" TV and a large christmas tree that fills half the room. It has 4 baubles on one side as decoration, Deano is proud that he has finally made it. He turns on his ps4 slim edition and finds that Daz is already logged in...
Benjamin Peterson
Keep the Deano stories coming lads.
David Allen
>pull up to my Barratt new build home with my 25 year fixed rate mortage in my grey Audi A3 on finance after a hard days work as deputy assistant head of sales targeting >open the boot and take out my River Island and Superdry bags with the new gear I bought on the way home from work >open the door >yell hello to my wife of 2-years in the kitchen as she is already home from her work as a Team Leader in a call centre >sit down on my leather sofa bought on sale at Sofology (haha I love those adverts, what is that sloth like haha, love sloths me) >put up my feet on the IKEA table >whap on the telly and tune in just in time to see Bradders going through the rules of the final chase with the contestants who made it through before they face Anne Hegarty >perfect timing as my wife comes in with the dinner, another one of Jamie Oliver's cracking 30 minute meals >tuck in as I pretend to listen to my wife's stories from her day at work >send a cheeky snap to Smithster and Deano to see if they can come round for the champions league match later to watch it on the ol' Sony Bravia, maybe sneak in a few rounds of Fifa '17 on the PS4 first, bloody Smithster ignoring the rule of no tap-ins what a melt haha
Ayden Gonzalez
...
Oliver Lewis
Fuck off spudwog, this was before your thread
Jordan Roberts
>STATE YOU CUZ MOSELEY INNIT
Isaiah Lopez
Raphael is cute!
Adrian Wilson
>mfw the SHTF and Deano dies like the dog he is
Ethan Adams
My girlfriend is called Steph My coffee is Nescafe My IT is Microsoft My car is on finance My food is from JustEat My TV is ITV My diamonds are on finance My best mate is called Smithster My computer is from PC World I don't drink wine And I am a Deano
Why can't melts like you lot just accept that Barratt new builds and EE unlimited data deals benefit everyone in the country, including people who work in Leeds call centres?
Even 100 of you on your best sesh is nothing compared to the carnage I caused last night in Yates', oi oi (Steerpike made this one)
Jaxon Russell
Lads, I'm going to put on so much fucking weight over Christmas
Nolan Gutierrez
Who is the worst political commentator?
Brody Jackson
Why do MPs watch porn at work?
Zachary Martin
Way ahead of you.
Camden Kelly
haha look at the urban dictonary definition for Deano The sweetest guy in the world. He is always there for you, night or day. Has the biggest heart. Has great hair and amazing eyes. He is the kind of guy who doesn't give himself too much credit for being cool, but he is super cool dude! He is good looking, cute. He is the kinda guy you wanna squeeze and never let go cause he's just that awesome. He is very caring and thoughtful. They make you want to be a better person. Very intelligent and honest. Seriously, everyone wants a Deano! Girl 1: Fu*k Off
Girl 2: What?
Girl 1: That girl over there has a Deano! Wtf.. I want one!
Girl 1: Damn Girl, he is such a Deano
*Star gazed eyes as they both stare and wish they had a Deano*
Christopher Stewart
Slagposting, if only the janitor could stay and make sure political discussion continued.
Chase Brown
so you'll be 6 stone overweight instead of 5? so what fatty no one can even tell at this point
also, Theresa may is a bad pm
Cooper Gomez
This cunt
Jaxon Gomez
5, 6 stone? Them's rookie numbers
Owen Nelson
...
Cooper Lee
Owen 'is it because I'm poz' Jones
Ryan Robinson
I'm actually in the process of buying a Taylor Wimpey Deanobox.
I also own an Audi A3 but its not on finance.
Sebastian Gonzalez
>Friday night soon boyzzzzz
>Leaving work at 5, meant to be there til half past but fuck that for a laugh, I've got beers to bosh and birds to bash. Probably stop by Buzz Cutz to get a fresh trim for the night, £18 but you get a free Peroni and they've got a PS3 with Fifa so it's well worth it! Home by 6:30, pepperoni pizza straight in the oven then jump in the shower. Lynx Black smells amazing, slags fucking love it. Focus on the cock and balls, just in case eh boys!
>Smithy is getting here at 7, he'll have to let himself in while I iron my shirt. Need a woman for this tedious shit. Should never have shagged that Brummy bird in Maga, if I resisted Louise would still be here but never mind that, tonight's about the boys and the banter. Got a quarter of a bottle of Jack Daniels left so me and smithy will knock that back over a quick game of rocket league, fucking love car football me.
>Then to the local to meet Bazza and Nick, smash a few Carlsbergs (£2.40/pint, can't go wrong!) with the lads and book an Uber. Smithy wants to get the bus cos he's skint but I'm not sitting with the scum on public transport. Always seem to get Ahmed as our driver, I swear down he's a terrorist but he has an aux cable so we can get some bangers on for the journey and get proper in the mood.
>Jump out on Main Street and straight into the Lloyds for 2 for £12 pitchers. Just get two each, fucking mental but we can all handle our drink so we'll be fine. Woo woo and a mojito for me, fucking love that mint shit, gets me buzzed
>Out to the smoking area for a few cheeky Lamberts. It's always full of absolute worldies out there too, and if she can suck on a fag she can suck on a dick am I right haha??
>Then to Slug and Lettuce for a few cocktails. Love that posh shit me. Probably a long island iced tea, maybe an Amstel to wash it down. Expensive but I've made good commission this month and Pete, the big boss, said I'm gonna get promoted if I carry on like this so we're celebrating
Levi Allen
GET IN THERE DEANO YOU FUCKING LEGEND
Joseph Turner
They are confused degenerate boomers.
>i just opened my ebay to make a penpal payment and all this bdsm came up in front of my wife! my isp must be responsible for this
Straight into the hellfire it goes.
Tyler Mitchell
It was almost certainly the type of porn that got him forcibly resigned.
Vaz got away with snorting coke and fucking Romanian twinks on tape, and the public outcry over Green's misuse of Parlimentary computers had died down weeks ago.
Yet he resigns out of the blue.
Something more to the story.
Grayson Moore
>That girl over there has a Deano! Wtf GET IN THERE, DEANO MY SON! YOU FUCKING LEGEND!
how do you even do those overly big footballer knots in ties
I'm fucking buying the Threads Blu-ray lads, I want that on my shelf. That should be mandatory viewing for all the edge lords that want some fat, little Korean fuckboy to aim his load at Muttland and start the ultimate happening.
Parker Stewart
>how do you even do those overly big footballer knots in ties
Clip ons come like that.
Nathaniel Robinson
>Something more to the story.
I wonder what though I'm half convinced May wanted a reshuffle but unofficially and this is her doing it.
Colton Martin
>>KQj012R6 I hope you continue to be blanked
David Williams
GET IN THERE DEANO YOU FUCKING LEGEND
Jacob Rodriguez
ah, I genuinely thought that was a lot.
Sounds like he's happy though I actually know a deano with a life like that, manager at ASDA seems like a confident happy guy, always smiling
Jonathan Morales
>Slug and lettuce is usually a bit dead. Just a load of fat birds dancing to Guetta. Bazza loves the fatties but I'm on it Friday, not wasting my time with those lot. Yeh they eat cock like they eat cake but I want a 10/10 worldy, not some whale
>Need to have a food stop, Smithy had half of my fucking pepperoni 12 inch the greedy cunt. Pass by a Maccas on the way to cocktails at 414. Would go Greggs but always get called a racist in there; can't believe it
>Into Maccas for a wrap of the day and a cheeseburger. Chuck the gherkin at some sad twat across the room; who the fuck eats that shit and who the fuck wears a tuxedo on a night out; total MELT
>414 already has a queue, it's only ten thirty. I think I know this bouncer from the gym though, he'll let us jump the queue and probably sort us some free drinks.
>Oh, different bloke. Sorry lads
>£5 to get in but the birds are class here, nice little dresses, half of them are students too so you know they're filth and they're impressed by any lad with a car. Can show them my iPhone X background of the new silver Audi A3. They'll be dripping
>Jaegers. Tequilas. Bottle of cava to share with the slags. Beers. Tequilas. More beers. More tequilas. Bish. Bash. Bosh.
>0200 and lights are on. Should go home but fuck that, it's Fridayyyyyyyyy
>On to Excite, it's either there or the casino. Pass a cash point and get out another ton, the dancers here make your balls tingle. No touching, but they let you sniff their arsehole haha!!
Charles Foster
She'd have no reason to remove Green, he gave her few problems, he was one of the strongest Cabinet members she had, and one of the most competant of the past few Tory cabinets.
The type of porn is where the rub lies.
Cameron Diaz
lol check out deano with the boxsets
why do i even bother living
Leo Adams
>Manager at Asda
A classic Deanotier job working as a mid manager in retail.
Connor Adams
Deano's life is unsustainable as fuck. Shitloads of debt, cheating on the wife, all happiness sourced from material goods
Justin Kelly
>resigns He was booted, apparently he made 'inaccurate and misleading' statements
Jaxson Brooks
It's not the porn. It's something else. Maybe his successor will give us a clue like with Willamson.
Robert Davis
deano tier job is area sales manager
Nicholas Gutierrez
Fucking hell, this D E A N O shit has gone too far.
I despise new builds.
Isaac Lee
Be a gay is OK. Watch porn is illegal. Nice.
Jayden Jackson
SUP DEANO
Julian Watson
SUP LAD
JUST WATCHING MWAMBA SCORE THAT GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLL
Jack Hill
Deano is a massive lad, and a legend to his mates. At 5.30pm, he drives his Audi A5 home, careful not to scratch it 'cause it's on a really expensive lease. But it's worth it 'cause checkout the bluetooth capabilites. He opens the door (which still has the film on the windows) of his new build in suburbia. He drops his M&S carrier bag on the floor; he'll save the percy pigs for later. His girlfriend looks up from her phone, quickly closing tindr. >Hey babe, how was your day? >Hey babe, great cheers, me and Danny had a right laff on one of the viewings and I'm in line to get a 2k raise if I keep these sales figures up. His girlfriend looks away disinterestedly, thinking of the Chad from tindr she's chatting up. Deano is glad she bought this barefaced lie and hopes his lie was good enough to cover his affar with Tina, some slut from the estate agents. Deano swanks into the pristine kitchen, opens his bare cupboards, pulls out the only item in the cupboard - worcester sauce. He douses his ready meal and chucks it into the pristine oven (still with film on the window). Deano swings into the back room, a bare beige room that stinks of new carpet. It has a 65" TV in the corner with a slimline ps4 sat beside. >Deano is a master at fifa. All his mates agree he's the don, especially at long shots and especially after a couple of stellas. Deano the don. >Deano the don! Shouts one of his mates as deano logs on >Fucking Danny! Shouts deano back, his girlfriend in the next room rolls her eyes as she sends another suggestive snapchat to all contacts. Deano goes on to win the match 17-10 and his league chances are looking great. The oven timer goes off and deano sprints back to the kitchen, he pours the sludge onto a pristine plate (still has sticker on the bottom). He pokes his head into the lounge and offers his gf some, knowing she'll refuse. >No thanks, I'm eating out with the girls >She's off to meet Ngubu, the one all the slags told her about.
Jackson Brown
>It's not the porn. It's something else You're half-right - the type of porn wasn't the issue, it was the fact he denied knowing it was on the PC, which they established to be a lie (how, I'm unsure). If he had owned up to it, he could've probably kept his job.
Austin Clark
>forcibly resigned
I hear what you're saying, but he hadn't done enough to warrant this being the "official" reason he resigned.
Hunter Ramirez
No,no. We've known about the porn for weeks. The real issue is something completely unrelated (like Fallon). What it was, we'll never know.
Samuel Sanders
That's what I was saying
Jeremiah Ramirez
i like to think deano is a greek Cypriot and his dad owns a fish and chip shop
Nolan Davis
>NEW 2K REMASTER of the film prepared for this release i remeber that scene where the woman pisses herself, i was watching it secretly because my mum said it was too scary and i think it turned me into a anime loving golden shower fetishist. This was only 40 years after the Japs got nuked for real 1985-1945 = 40 forget the russia stuff people could still remeber it actually happening.
Eli Miller
It's not the porn though, it's the fact he denied knowing it was on the PC. He said he didn't know and that was a lie, and it's right there that that is why he was asked to resign.
I get what you're saying, that this is probably due to an imminent allegation or whatever, but him having to have known of the existence of the porn is a new revelation and not just a rehash of an older story.
Noah Ramirez
Full Windsor knot
Wyatt Collins
Because it was on a hard drive no doubt. There is a reason he lied though, you can't forget that many instances, so he would only lie if he didn't want to admit it for other reasons.
You cannot be alunder investigation in this decade and not know the Police have the means of finding your browsing history.
And why were the random detectives so desperate to leak the information? Why did they have the backing of the superior officers, who more often than not hang their subordinates out to dry?
Oliver Gonzalez
I mean, if the motive for forcing him to resign was political, rather than specifically related to the porn issue.
Caleb Perez
No Deano is a proud white Englishmen.
Jackson Jones
The only country that would lose out in that scenario is NK. I doubt it would trigger a global chain of launches. No one - not even the Chinese would be willing to defend the Norks in a nuclear event, and if Kim decided to make a surprise launch, I'm skeptical it would reach US airspace. Following his attempted strike, the country would be leveled in an afternoon as Uncle Sam unleashes his pent up load.
I do not advocate bombing the based Norks btw, but that's how I see the scenario playing out in my head if it were to ever occur.
Isaiah Sullivan
>GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL >Pints and bottles of Stella fly through the air. >Smaller men and women are knocked over by the whooping and screaming slabs of meat that comprise the majority of people in the crowd >People are crushed beneath the stampede, skulls are caved in, molars and broken glass are crushed into the slimy wet carpet >Deano sneaks in a cheeky punch into Keith the Cunt who has been eyeing up the bird he took a fancy to on the dance floor a minute ago >HAHA FUCKIN LEDGE DID YOU SEE HIM DROP! YOU FUCKIN' EPIC MATE! >Deano's victim smashes his head on the granite bar and his body comes to rest on the floor >Danny the Demon is having third degree gurns from a dodgy bit of MDMA that he just got off some Jamaican bloke he met out the back of Dixons before >HAHHAHA DANNY WOT A FUKEN MELT YOU HAVIN IT LARGE! >Danny's eyes roll into the back of his head, his mouth begins to foam and he starts to spasm uncontrollably on the floor behind the dancing cage. >He's drownng in his own sick now. >FUCKIN CLASSIC DANNY HE CAN'T HANDLE HIS DRUGS HAHA SPACKER >HAHAH LETS LEAVE THIS WASTE MAN HAHAHA LETS GO TO THE UNIT PICK UP SOME BIRDS MATE >Leaves the Cunt and Spoon with his two remaining mates.
this
Jaxson Hernandez
Ah bollocks, meant to reply to this:
Dominic Lee
That's what I mean as well.
>but him having to have known of the existence of the porn is a new revelation I think May and her aides would've not taken his word and assumed that he knew it was there
Lucas Wood
Don't forget the absolutely shit ladrock that all the football mutts mosh to when there's a goal. youtube.com/watch?v=5_jtN9iK6NM
Elijah Parker
So it was to do with the porn?
Jacob Anderson
>67% of all Income Taxes Collected in the US by IRS are Paid Directly to the Crown in London
There is literally nothing wrong with Mbwembe and Ngubu hitting a cheeky one and making a dash for it UP THE CENTRE HERE COMES MIMBWASA! STRAIGHT DOWN THE GARDEN PATH, THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR! DODGES ME DAD WITH A STUNNING SWING FROM HIS BASEBALL BAT, UP THE STAIRS! PUSHES ME MUM DOWN EM SHE HITS THE BOTTOM WITH A THUD! WHAT A CHEEKY LITTLE SHOVE FACKIN LOVELY! OHHH OHHHH STRAIGHT INTO ME SISTERS CUNT!
BBC1 Male Rape RightlySo we don't know that feel but we are here for you
Also BASED Dave Chappelle pointing out no-one gives a shit about men being bummed
Jackson Davis
distinct lack of karen itt
Brandon Gonzalez
...
Brody Evans
ALRI LADS!!
HAHA WAHEYYYY
WE LIKE TO DRINK WITH user CAUSE user IS OUR MATE AND WHEN WE DRINK WITH user HE GETS IT DOWN IN 8..7..6..5..4..3..2..1
WAHEYY!!!
BLOODY HELL I'M LOVING THIS PLACE
WAIT TIL DEANO, SMITHY, GAZZA, BARRY, SMITHSTER AND THE REST OF THE LADS HEAR ABOUT THIS
DOING A POO HAVING A WANK
alri haha
Zachary Fisher
ok thank you
Ayden Hernandez
>mongchester poonited
Elijah Cook
iwould Deano leave his kdis at a nursery all day and then refuse to pay the late charges until taken to court?
Lucas Martinez
>tfw america planned for us to join the axis but didn't realise how autistic the kikes are in this country
Hunter Murphy
COME N AV A GO IF YA FINK YER ARD ENUFF
OI QUIT TALKIN SHIT ABOUT UMUKAWELLEH I'VE GOT MIXED RACE GRANDCHILDREN
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL GET IN DER UMBUKA BACK EH ME DAUGHTERS VAG
Adam Parker
Not sure why you replied to me but they had that for every first world country
Charles Hernandez
>what is quick posting and forgetting to delete the reply bit
James Butler
fucking state of you
Julian Miller
Reminder that britain will never change, every other nation will have a revolution to depose their masters and kick the shitskins out but it will never happen in britain, the state is too strong and only getting stronger, apart from australia we are literally the only western nation where the govt will enforce china tier authoritarianism in order to maintain the status quo, we are completely fucked
Sebastian Cruz
>tfw I ended up hanging out of a lot of deanos in uni because I enjoyed drinking too much, and it was often an excuse to drink.
They'd go out 3 or 4 times a week.
Daniel Adams
how do i get a cheeky barrats shed
Aaron Butler
Kill yourself then
Austin Baker
Is meditation a meme lads or is it legit? Any experiences?
Also, Theresa May, what a bitch.
Parker Nelson
>Go for a look round the local BnQ using my dads white van >walk in with my new nike trainors bought for £59.99 and Sports Direct >bird at the counter smiles at me haha might ask for her number the absolute slag >find an orange wood 8x6 shed >don't know how to build it and they don't let you buy it whole >pay the guys £500 to set it up in the garden for us >top lads they are asked em if they wanted a game of fifa but they said no (utter melts) >missus offered them tea and bisquits while they were setting it up(top bird she is) >shed gets build >put my orange electric mower in it so I can pull it out to cut the grass on my 12x12 front garden(the back is all slabs) >sometimes the neighbor abdul cuts it for us while he's doing his, top lad tbqh
