Schizo Christmas

>Be diagnosed schizophrenic
>Spend Christmas alone in my apartment because no friends or loved ones
>Can't stop fantasizing about world domination although I can't even hold a job
>The world is my oyster
>Trash is pilling up everywhere and I haven't bathed in days
>Apartment literally smells like feces but flat affect is blunting my sense of smell
>Neighbors can probably hear me laughing and talking to myself
>Browsing Sup Forums looking for threads to send me into a schizo rage
>Find such threads every few minutes
>Never ending schizo rage

Can anyone relate?

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hooktube.com/watch?v=-bkzYwv5EMU
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

American citizens are amongst the least powerful people on earth ompared to other nations, as such, you are unlikely to get close to your goal.
KYS?

I keep fantasizing about suicide but I wouldn't do it because I deserve better. As for gaining political powder, there is a one to a trillion chance of that happening if you're not (((chosen)))

Take care of yourself user clean up the house and yourself was in same position a year ago now better be responsible for yourself and pray to God for divine assistance he helped me he can help you start cleaning !!!

yep, let me give you a hug

Where is picrelated?

I'm deeply goncerned. Last update of his page was on the 15th.

Not sure, I stopped following his updates for a while

>be leftypol
>resort to libel and slander because you're eternally BTFO
>make this thread

Terrys living in his chadvan cuz his parents kicked him out. Still streaming near daily

Go on YouTube find some 30 days of yoga and do it. Eventually if you can join a studio but research and see what kinds of classes.

Possibly, but this is the reality for quite a few posters here. Plenty on the left as well.

>I deserve better
You don't deserve what you have now, you know.

Sometimes I like to play make-believe when I get high but that usually involves Yu-Gi-Oh

Yoga exacerbates my symptoms, especially my hallucinations.

I can't accept letting go of this world while the useless, evil promiscuous scum and low iq druggies and other societal parasites go on. Nobody will remember me and my death would be in vain. No thank you.

I think there are a lot of people with latent genetic personality disorders who show signs due to the intense pressures of social media and the abrasive nature of the current news cycle. Not to mention the rampant drug normalization.

Maybe I'm being a paranoid schizo but I doubt it's an accident. At the very least the demoralization tactics are bringing more signs to the surface than ever before.

That or now that everyone has an outlet to share their insanity it seems more people are insane.

Could be both, too.

Usually they have other classes like meditation, chill asana which are basically working muscles with balls and bands. Mostly its the environment, feels different there.

Yeah, I connected at least once or twice a day to the stream. He also uploaded some offline content, not daily but quite frequent.

But nothing happened since the 15th of this month. No chadvan, no drumming, no cuffing from his holy lungs...

how old were you when you got diagnosed?

I used to be like this but then I found pol, discovered my innate blood and soil conservatism and reconnected with the Lord. Now I'm married to a great lady, a surgeon, and have 2 wonderful kids and a great job and really great looking future. If you haven't accepted Jesus as your personal savior, you haven't taken all the red pills. Good luck user, I was there and asked God for help and everything is wonderful now.

16 but I went to a psychiatric ward myself, I was not referred. I think this is the usual age.

>feaux intellectual liberal thinks they have clever jokes

We can however use a proper metal cutlery, ohh and we won't have a govern on our cars out of the factory lolz. Damn, I forgot we can also own a tv without a license, oh CCTV I don't see those anywhere

The TV knows what I think, it lets me know by putting certain television shows on, digging at me in a subtle way to let me know that they know what I'm thinking. It's not just that, it's other things that are malicious and nasty and personal, the radio does it to me.

I also hear voices and musical instruments playing in my head, like a thought that I have no control over and it's very loud. Like someone narrating, it's weird.

Sometimes I think I'm in hell, walking around (the world being an illusion) and everyone knows it, that they are demons tormenting me. I just run on autopilot most days, dead inside.

this and saphris desu

I think conservatives are more likely to be autistic and vice versa, whereas leftists are more likely to be something emotionally unstable and psychotic like borderline, bipolar or schizophrenic. It has to do with neurotransmitters.
But don't you think the 17-18 year old teenagers posting here about their "love stories" and how infuriated they are by "chads" and immigrants who steal their girlfriends do a good enough job of making Sup Forums look bad?

im gunna dominate your asshole

That's what I thought, I know it doesn't manifest til late teens/early twenties for most men. I've made it pretty well past 20 so hopefully Im over the hump, but I get these sort of auditory "artifacts" that others can't hear when I ask them about it. Could you go into a little more detail about your symptoms?

I highly suggest biting the bullet and going to get put on anti-psychotics buddy. I had very similar experiences, and while I still feel compelled to hurt myself every so often, I'm much better now. Taking the meds is like turning off a really loud TV in my head that I didn't know had been on my entire life.

Seriously, if this isn't a LARP, just try getting put on meds to see what it does to you. The worst case scenario is you end up back where you started.

Have you ever seen The Truman Show? Sometimes life feels exactly like that to me, I have gone so far as to accuse friends of being actors before.

I'm just a tad salty because antifa members directly contacted a girl I was dating and gave her false information about my mental health tbqh

t.FalseFlagger

You code work is red. You are now a manchurian candidate.

I'm not LARPing, being honest and I was put on an antipsychotic a few years ago when I lost complete grip on everything. I just hold on at the moment, you know? Write things off as coincidence, that I'm nothing important and all that. I didn't like the drugs they gave me, made me feel heavy, tired, hungry but I still had the paranoia going on, I'll admit it got better for a while but I have to be able to function as I have work, I have people reliant on me. I can't do that on 15mg of Olanzapine. I just can't.

Yeah I have seen it and that movie is enough to make anyone question things.

There exists more than one type of mental health prescription. I was on a very small sublingual tablet called Saphris, that did wonders for me. I've thankfully gotten to a point where I can manage myself without it, but there was a time when I would have been a mess without it.

One symptom called a pseudohallucination that people who take psychedelics, weed and most people who do not take drugs experience (in other words, most people experience it but drugs can induce it) is where if you keep quiet and listen to background noise, after a while it begins to sound like inaudible talking, words or whatever, so the brain is in a sense making sense out of noise. After it gets worse and worse it eventually turns in to pseudohallucinations of audible words (so it sounds like actual words and not just gibberish) and then into real hallucinations (you don't know they are not real).

He dropped like 15 new vids in 2 days

It is good that you can manage now, but as I'm sure you may have experienced there's a part of me that thinks these drugs are nothing more than a way to stop me seeing reality, the truth, that those in the medical field seek to poison me with these drugs whilst they mock me at the same time by pretending to "care". I mean don't get me wrong, it's not every day "intense" homicidal/suicidal psychotic state, I manage alright and it only really gets bothersome if things that are stressful are going on, like a relative dying or a friend dying or something along those lines. Most of the year I just cruise by on autopilot.

Maybe at some point I will have to take medication again, it's a cruel cycle sometimes for all that get fucked over by it and real mental illness isn't fun for anyone, nor is it some "cop out" or "wah you whiny bitch grow a pair". It's quite crippling to have your brain try to interpret two different states of reality and even then it's not always 2 states, it's numerous states of reality, all battling to gain the top spot. If that makes sense?

I genuinely relate to you, friend.

My proposition to you is this: If it were part of some global conspiracy to fuck with you, it wouldn't have good and bad periods. You wouldn't see the issues flare up when you were under stress.

I hope like hell you get this under control, because I know first hand it's no way to live.

This isn't about politics. This is standard 'paint Sup Forums users as crazy' subversion.

Sage

>can’t own a fucking knife
>can’t stop thousands of young girls from being raped by (((Asian men)))
>can’t escape EU despite democratic process
>still have literal kings and queens that lord over you like fucking peasants
>women are notoriously ugly
>food is notoriously bad
>have to resort to eating kebab which is deceptively made of young white girl flesh
>can’t even count the bongs because don’t want to disrupt Muslim “face-down ass-up for Mecca” time
>y-yyou’re the weakest in the world!!!!
>destroyed by Americans in two wars
>saved by Americans in another
>Y-YOU’RE WEAAAK!!!
I am laffin

Your proposition was accepted, it's why I'm not in a padded cell. Logic is used, distractions etc.

Thank you for your kind words.

And we love you too sweetheart

Im bipolar so I can kind of relate. Lately I have found a technique that controls all my insane mood swings though. I call it the 'who fucking cares' technique.

It is physical and mental, it involves just sort of slumping over and letting my mind stop doing anything. Pretty comfortable actually

Godspeed, user.

You need to get off pol, throw out your trash, and take a drive to the nearest national park. Camp for a minimum of two nights and you will start to feel good again. (((They))) have you programmed in a viscous cycle, you need to break free.

Bring good non political literature with you as well as good food

This is e best advice you will get I assure you.

I know what you mean about not being able to trust your brain. Meds might make you more numb and dull but if you want to have a normal life, with the possibility of relationships, setting reasonable goals and achieving them, and having a sense of stability, it’s the only way. It’s a tradeoff but you don’t want to be in your 30s or 40s with your symptoms only getting worse, because eventually if these disorders are left unmedicated they cause more cognitive issues and your schizo becomes more of a permanent part of your identity. I consider this the point of no return, in a sense.

Are your grand delusions about world domination a common symptom of schizophrenia? I’ve known people with schizo but none of them have ever mentioned that symptom. That sounds a bit like part of bipolar disorder (some people have schizoaffecftive bipolar disorder, which has symptoms of both — it’s impossible to be fully schizo AND bipolar) to me.

Can you go into more detail about this? My brother has bipolar disorder. He’s unmedicated so I’m pretty worried about him. He says he’s fine but he’s said that before and things haven’t turned out well.

And to you.

I'm not the OP, I don't have delusions of controlling the world, if anything I would rather be content in the solid knowledge (no doubt or questioning or paranoia) that I am an irrelevance to this planet. That would make me genuinely happy, that I am a nothing. I have no desire to conquer this world or be on television, even being photographed makes me uncomfortable. lol

It's basically what it sounds like. I just relax my body, especially my head, and don't think about anything. Just let whatever float through me. you could say it's like pseudo-meditating.

I can interact with people when Im like this but they sometimes think Im being aloof and dont care about what theyre saying. which is true because i dont.

Idk about your brother but the stats for bipolar people, especially unmedicated, are pretty dire. I am type 1, refuse medication, and I abuse substances so I have essentially no hope of not committing suicide or ending up in jail. If your brother is type 2 and/or is sober he has much better chances. Medication is key though, if you can convince him to get on it you should.

reading or watching GOOD videos online about religion / history and cleaning / other productive things which make your body ache with tiredness is the patrician choice

No, but do seek help.

>be schizo
>hurr durr evil , useless people this and that
You're the evil schizoid you deserve hell.

>Be diagnosed schizophrenic
What are you talking about?
Did seriously not notice we're in a digital mental asylum?

WE'RE ALL INSANE

Some are just diagnosed others aren't.
You're among your own kind here, I'd tell you to relax but that's probably what the voices are warning you against.

Why do you refuse medication?

I know someone with bipolar 2, he honestly just seems depressed all the time. He smokes weed a lot and that seems to help him, I guess it's still substance abuse but it's way better than alcohol.

I'm addicted to mania, even more than the other stuff I'm addicted to. Actually every other drug is just a lame replacement for the mania or an enhancer. I don't really find it hard to quit anything for a few months, but then when the mania starts up I just take anything at all.

It's probably impossible to explain what mania is like, it feels like you're in direct communication with the Godhead or something. Id honestly rather have another few manic episodes and die at 26 than live medicated.

And yeah I doubt weed really matters. Apparently it is a risk for schizo people though.

That's low level telepathy you mong.
Basically you're listening and converting energy into "audio" type of sense(no your ears aren't hearing anything at all times)

You can practically listen in on anyone anywhere if they don't have lookouts to cloak or distort the exchange.
You don't even need phones or morse code machines if you just focus and "home in" on a specific area you can hear any conversation be it vocal or mental(unguarded).

Pretty sure the US and Russia has been doing it since the cold war though it was probably Nazi Germany that managed to discover it.

Don't ask how I know this because even I don't know.

God damn it, out of all the people related to me why did I had to be with the mongrel dhampir gene expression?
I don't want to die. Well actually I do but in a way so I won't reincarnate again in someone elses genes or something don't want to change
no change
Hold on to humanity, remember the light, pull out teeth.

>muttposting

You wont reincarnate heretic. You're going straight to hell whether you believe it or not.

>christian
>redpilled

1: Hey, we are being gangstalked!

2: Hurr Durr, you're just a schitzophrenic

1: They are using microwave voice to skull on us.

2: THAT'S CLASSIFIED, I'LL SHOOT YOU FOR THAT!

I know what you should do, you should make your own compiler

Hi! You are literally me. Today we have to clean our rooms and then go to the dentist.

Yeah I don't know what mania is like, but medication helped my friend a lot. I know he's type 2 and you're type 1 but I hope you consider going back on meds -- if you even care what a stranger thinks that is. It seems that with bipolar whatever comes up comes down generally, my friend enjoyed his highs (hypomania) but after he realized how had the depression afterwards was, he decided to get medicated and it's made a world of a difference, even though he seems duller sometimes. If you've already made your choice you've made it, but it seems like you've given up on medication before realizing that it could make a huge difference and help you live a normal life, if that's something you still want at this point. Everyone's different though.

>You're going straight to hell whether you believe it or not.
Hell isn't a place it's a state of being past the separation of the subtle body from the corporeal form.

Deny it all you want but Hell is actually a place on Earth. It is Earth, a dimension of Earth.
Demons are us.
Undead are either their bitches or just wretched SOBs who got too aware of their cage that reality imposes on them.

I'm not fully awakened yet, yet you're still hostile to me? Your own brother/sister in terms of species?

Is this how the light deals with the sickened? Retribution against the shackled?

No, you're just trying to get me to admit I'd rather be in hell than in the state I will be in either in this or the next life.

Why does the light forsake me so slowly? Is it taunting me? Is it my own fault?
What did I do? Who the fuck was I really?

I'm going to take you serious and pretend you aren't larping. The bathing isn't a huge deal if you never have to deal with people. The trash is a big deal and you need to take it out. The neighbors won't fuck with you especially if they hear they laughing/talking because they know you are crazy. And finally... I would say you need to stop browsing Sup Forums so much. Not saying to fully give it up but I have the same issues as you and cutting down on Sup Forums helps a bit.

My mom has schizophrenia and it's destroyed our family. Get some help user. Find a good doctor you can trust and work with he/she. Also, look into extended waterfasting. It helps to repair the prefrontal cortex.

Hope
Hold on to hope.
I should remember.
Nothing but the light.

The Light is in all things.
The Light protects the faithful.
The Light purifies the dark within.
The Light forgives the wicked who repent.
The Light transcends realities.

Light, give me strength.

its a demon pretending to be an angel... duh.

They ALWAYS name themselves somethig like, Angel, or christ, or michael, or some other holy angelic name.

it's a psyop.

CIA will hire you

Oh I know about the downs. In a fit of..anger? self-loathing? idk, I cut through about two inches of muscle on my arm a few months ago, had to get dozens of stitches, it was a fucking bloodbath. The shape of my two arms is totally different now, theres a huge chunk of flesh missing on the left one.

Also you sound like a good guy so I get your inclination here, but I don't deserve it dude, Im honsetly a terrible person. One of my exes described me as being like a demon that corrodes everything and everyone around me, and this girl was not even really aware of what I've done.

I was just giving you another perspective for your brother. One important thing about mental illness is that no matter what disorders you have it still matters way more whether you're a good person or not. before our modern Jew doctors if you had mental issues you went to the Priest, same as a mentally healthy person, and they helped you remember what was important, and ways to be able to focus on and achieve that.

I relate to everything except smelling like shit and not bathing.

Otherwise word for word. Word.

What are you going on about my good man? Could you slow down and explain it to me like I'm a brainlet?

Actually, I think angela merckel is using her nations mind control grid to make women attack men.... except for muslims.

hooktube.com/watch?v=-bkzYwv5EMU

>hell really is a place in the Earth
>you're another schizoid heretic that makes shit up and fucks his entire life because not wanting to take responsibility for actions
You're going to hell at this rate , pal. For all eternity....

>he thinks schizophrenia is real

>falling for the "mental illnesses" meme

Good goy, now go take your pills like the good little goy you are, you dont want to be...(((sick))) ...do you ?

Demonic encounters either physical or mental are so rare you would have a better chance to get hit by lighting and survive two times in 2 days.

Negative spirits are just that, evolved/half-sentient negative emotions and desires who override a person's psyche whenever there's a big enough moment of weakness to exploit.

Still better a fate than undeath if you ask me.
People die daily and never understand they've had something hindering them.

You for instance carry the poison that's been passed on by your mother but your senses haven't been warped enough for you to easily notice.

t.schizo who's going to show up on the news for gunning down "demons" in a shopping mall

Are you shitting in buckets? Wtf. I'm a fucking pigneet but Jesus Christ, user

>Demonic encounters either physical or mental are so rare you would have a better chance to get hit by lighting and survive two times in 2 days.

It's technological.

>For all eternity....
You have no idea how eternity works, do you?
Open your goddamn eyes, don't you see you're living in multiple realities as many people?

Here let me try something.

>Open your goddamn eyes, don't you see you're living in multiple realities as many people?

You mean your identity thieves?

No but I have been doing enemas in the shower and the feces fermenting in the shower drain smells. I usually pour rubbing alcohol down there as it kills the bacteria, or chlorine but chlorine is too harsh for me and can damage pipes.

>It's technological.
Everything is technology.
but yea I know about those frequency manipulation equipment that can mimic voice in your head or just make you hallucinate if not just fry your brain and make you have a stroke

There are worser things out there believe me than what humanity no matter how fallen or depraved will ever think off or be allowed to work with.

>materialist who can only see what he thinks he sees

What do you mean by undeath, and dying daily?

Also, how does love and hope factor into all of this?

you left out the part where you were gay.

Sage.

Why not just... use a toilet?

>You mean your identity thieves?
No it means that humanity has a hivemind.
We refer to it as "God".
The Light is not God because it's exo but it's also where divinity draws inspiration from.

If there were no light within Ouroboros the concept of God wouldn't even exist, in fact nothing will.
Every time darkness or light has gained the upper hand withing "existence" and got rid of the other stuff gets really really really bad, stagnation like you won't believe.

>Still streaming near daily
link? I never bothered but want some entertainment

>walk into a room at work
>group of people talking
>as soon as you are noticed, group disperses and everyone immediately tries to look busy like a bunch of NPCs

Help

stupid lying CIA nigger
gonna hit you with my car

there are no new vids

you're the detractor that Thierry warned us from. Wut?

Colons are chronically constipated every fucking time I shit and I need to squat to get the fucking shit out trust me I would use the toilet normally if I could. Now I have water damage on my bathroom door and walls with feces stains on them. Guess I have to paint the walls over

I'm sorry that you have no friends, yes I can relate, I haven no friends either other than a bi polar x girlfriend that calls sometimes, wants to hang out but then wants nothing to do with me

>We refer to it as "God".

Get a life!
Bin that knife!
And you better give Mohammad your wife!
Also, how's that tv license?

>le multiple universes , parallel realities n shiet
t. Neil de Niggers

No, that is the god of this world.

So yea, the best way to win the game is to keep resetting existence itself.

I've actually witnessed when a hero managed to "punch" the nexus between the infinite realities itself bringing the pillars of existence and everything along with it down.

I saw no "God" intervening, all I saw was the darkness fading, and the light being devoured not before under it I saw in all it's glory, the belly of the beast we call "existence'. Now without neither Light nor Darkness to mask it. It was eating itself, always and as I passed through the mouth existence was rebuilt again and I went along like nothing happened in that moment.

Just one of the many pleasant things I'm experiencing, just wanted you to know why I wonder why the Light isn't saving me already.

>bi polar x girlfriend that calls sometimes

She loves you, but the "Matrix" doesn't want you or her breeding.

I know about your brother.