Things you won't hear black people say

>things you won't hear black people say

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“nah I can’t can’t go out tonight, I have work in the morning.”

thank you very much sir

I did something

>have a nice day.

Thank You.
Sorry.
I'll pass on the chicken tonight.

Honey, I'm home.

“No thank you, I don’t smoke weed. I like to just focus on my academics”

"did you leave a good tip?"

let me pick up the check

I love you, Dad.

>Hitler dindu nuffin wrong.

I should tip 15% right? Ok Ill do that

Ok officer, I'll put my hands where you can see them.

hi dad

That was my fault. I will try to do better next time.

Good evening officer, what seems to be the problem?

White people are, and always have been, a net benefit to us.

I promise i will be a good father

>I should tip 15% right? Ok Ill do that

It's 20%, nigger

I wish the library had longer hours.

Let me pay for that.

Hello son.

Oh wait honey, let me put on this condom.

Let me calculate the tip.

"I owe my success in this day and age to the wealth the government took from other peoples and gave to my ancestors."

Egyptians were not black

“We should probably keep it down a little, we might disturb the neighbors.”

To be fair, I would never say that either. I'm not cucking myself.

Hootenanny

loud sounds don't cause me any alarm

I shouldn't kick my dog.

I think I will walk on the sidewalk instead of the middle of the street.

"I owe my success to the Jewish people that look near exactly like me and who's teet my ancestors have suckled off of for centuries."

I selected only as much groceries as I can afford and will not hold up the line for 20 minutes while I remove item by item to try to get the total down to where I can pay it.

>t. tipcuck
it's 0% unless I feel like giving you more of my money
I tip well but I resent the implication that 15 is too low. I'll write in 5% if the square machine is set to prompt 20-25-30, where as I'll throw a 5 on a 15 dollar meal at a cash restaurant.

Fuck those African Kings who sold our ancestor into slavery. God bless America

>Here's that money I owe you.

"Goodnight son."

I will not stop my car in the middle of the road to talk to my friend who I saw walking by.

>thank you

I will park in a parking space instead of the fire lane because it's really not that far to walk.

Happy Father's Day

"We should probably settle down, we're causing a scene and inconveniencing other people"

Man, that really is something they'd say. Good job. Only a black man would be THAT cheap.

Ssssssshhhhhhhh !!!

20-25-30
>Does this meal come with a bj?

We wasn’t kaaangzzzzz

youtube.com/watch?v=dbd9tfNUOkA

I'll refuse to research my origins and learn about my ancestors homelands and countries beyond a simple Ancestry.com inquiry. Instead, I'll just call myself American and assume that is my only heritage.

Self improvement is a goal of mine.

>I have a job!

WHITEY IS KEEPING US ALIVE

kek

I believe George Zimmerman acted in legal self defense.

"I would rather pay for my own way rather than have white people do it for me."

"Come on guys, let's cross the street a little faster, there are cars coming."

As a working class man, I find it very disrespectful that part of my paycheck has money stolen from it to give out to people who refuse to work. It is extra insulting when said unemployed people spend the money acquired from working class people in luxuries that they otherwise don't need or actively harm their chances of bring a productive member of society. Such systems are also extremely inefficient and lack purpose as they only benefit a small portion of people while the rest of society receives no compensation for having their money taken away from them.

>b-but that's not chris farley!
>who is drew carey

Hi

Wow. That was some great service that young man provided through the duration of our meal. I think I am going to give him a 25% tip instead of the normal 15%.