With which part of this enormous series should an ignorant faggot as myself start with?

With which part of this enormous series should an ignorant faggot as myself start with?

From the start.

Start with the Greeks.

Ore Monogatari

Start with Kizumonogatari

Why wouldn't it be the beginning? Why is this a question?

Bakemonogatari. The first part published in novel form, and the first part adapted to anime. I'd reccomend reading the novels first then watching the anime, since the way events are presented in them are quite different and I think the novels give you a clearer picture of what's going on. But plenty of people have started with the anime and loved it regardless, so it's up to you.

modern lazy, casual generationeers want to get the "basic idea" of some big hit products, be it a movie, series or a game saga, by skipping as much content as possible and only consuming the argued "best part". The idea of linear progression is totally foreign to the Xbox kids born with MTV trash.

TSF Monogatari, followed by Katanagatari

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Doesnt really matter, just watch if for the nice backgrounds and the occasional lewd scenes.
Make absolutely sure to skip every longwinded talking heads dialogue scene set to annoying atonal piano music, that shit is mayor cringe.

Truth hurts, huh?

Just read a random Goosebumps novel and imagine the lewd yourself.

Anyone who actually uses the word "casual" to falsely put themselves above others for having sat through inferior products is retarded and needs to remove themselves.

Skipping an entire arc, let alone multiple arcs, of any story is unjustifiable. Just watch it or don't.

On the contrary.
Anyone sampling a goddamn SERIES in random order are the ones who need to remove their filth off this planet. I don't know what kind of MLP and Cowadooteh shit you kids enjoy these days, but thank god the good shit is nothing of that sort.

Just watch Nise episode 8. It's so much better than every other episode you don't even need to watch the rest.

That's a gross simplifcation that doesn't take into account the wide variety of stories that can be told and the ways they can fit into series. There are plenty of stories where parts of them are non-canon, irrelevant, take place in a separate universe, etc. If one fo those parts is absolutely terribly made in addition to having no impact on the rest of the story, there is literally no reason to sit through it.

Other than to suck your own cock over the fact that you're totally not like dem dam filthy casools because you forced yourself to go through something bad, of course.

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Just curious - do you think this applies to Bakemonogatari? That it is a "bad part" that you could or should skip to get to a "good part"?

No, I don't think it applies to the Monogatari series, since it's a series that's focused on character development and every arc has good, canon development for multiple characters. But in general, especially with franchises that have been going for decades, it holds true.

you just watch the rest to get to the part where she jerks him off in the back of her fathers car.

Use mal

Airing order.
Bake -> Nise -> Neko, etc

galax.moe/monogatari