When will we finally get an anime about carnivorous christmas cakes?

When will we finally get an anime about carnivorous christmas cakes?

>no one has made a cute cakes doing cute/lewd things anime

When Soviet Russia decides to make one.

That sounds like the title of a low budget horror film

when will people stop liking cupcakes?

>Tense music starts playing as a panorama shot of Suburbia is shown
>Fade to black
>Cut to a scene of a highschool student doing highschool things
Narrator: He was just an ordinary boy
>Cut to a scene of a nuclear family
Son: Mom, I'm gonna hang out with my friends at the mall!
Dad: Be home before 11, son!
Mom: Be careful!
>Fade to black
>Fade to a low angle shot of a fancy sports car slowly coming to a halt
>As a woman in high heels steps out of the car, the camera scrolls up to reveal pantyhoses, a pencil skirt, a dress shirt & blazer and finally a christmas cake's desperate face
Narrator: But all that is about to change
>Loud, low tone, fade to black
>Shot of a crowd running away and screaming in panic
>Fade to black with another low tone
>Close-up shot of one of the MC's friends in a public bathroom, on the phone
Friend (whispering): I think she's here...
>The scene switches to the MC's perspective
Protagonist: Who's there? What are you talking ab-
>He is interrupted by his friend's loud screams and a mischievous, feminine laughter
>Some more cuts to black and shots of panicking crowds
Narrator: This summer.... christmas "comes" early
>Fade to black
>Inception "BWAAAAAAAM" sounds plays as the title slowly appears in bloody letters
>"Night of the Christmas Cakes"
Narrator: Rated M for Mature

So is it rape or murder?
Or both?

Cakes are disgusting
If you're 20+ and a virgin/not in a relationship there is something fundamentally off with you

>clumsy carnivorous christmas cake

Onegai Balalaika-san.

Relationships often end with people breaking up, and they aren't going to rush into another one just to not be alone. Most people don't find their "soul mates" or whatever with the first person they date.

>Balalaika ends up hiring that porn editing intern she mused about during that one episode
>He's an awkward high school boy with hair trigger erectile responses

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>Narrator: This summer.... christmas "comes" early
holy shit

What do you think user?

Maybe if we form a production commitee.

>series about various heroines from the 90's which are now all delicious christmas cake

>Sailor Moon: Cake

This is pretty hilarious but it's also sad how predictable Hollywood has become.

scary!

I need this. I wanna lust after 2D women my age now.

Better?

>japan keeps stepping up the christmas cakes

soon, cake harems.

And yet, none of the cakes would win the MC bowl.....

Think she's 25 already? At least she already won the Senpaib Owl.

Who would be even the target group of such a show?

Men who sexualize women of that age group or women who can relate to them?

>Men who sexualize women of that age group
You bet.

Well, in other medium it would be just plain normal.

Only in anime is that fetish material.

>Being such a living sack of shit that you need someone to support you
Monogamy is church made bullshit, partnership is not a human requirement. Anyone who thinks so is fundamentally broken.

Young men who like women of that age group, Men of that age group, women that relate, me

Fair point on its own, but this is Sup Forums.

PLEASE.

What's her special attack?

Agent Aika was the best christmas cake heroine.

>that one cake character who keeps a partially filled out marriage form with her at all times
Not that there's anything wrong with that, right?

My waifu should be ready to be an actual wife-uh

How I would marry Ashigara.

See the tutorial on the fan-wiki.

What about JcaKes? They're "high school girls". Seriously.

There is a plenty of manga featuring cakes, So, someday. Yakumo-san is a first candidate to be animated.

Well, they certainly drink like high schoolers behind the gym shed during prom night.

But they do it all the time.

I want to be a timid turtle for a ravenous panther.

>literally has a daughter
>and a husband
>cake
Stop using words Sup Forums.

Ashigara is pure sex.

Nicely done.

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I read this in Don LaFontaine's voice.

I miss his work dearly.

[dubious - discuss]

>first-person POV anime
>go out drinking with two cakes
>wake up the next afternoon in a compromising situation with them both
>"Oh dear, we 'forgot' to use condoms last night. Ufufu~"
Greatest anime of all time (doesn't even need to be hentai).

>ywn make her feel cute and young like she's chariot again

She can teach me whatever she wants.

Now that I think about it, KSM-sensei is kind of the same type too.

>Ursula shows up in your atelier and says that the Academy is in desperate need of mana transfers and proceeds to convince you to "donate" some of your precious prana
naturally, the wizard MC replies by shouting MUH ROOT or THE ROOT MUTHAFUGGA and kick her out

Her design is too anime for my taste.

Getting drunk and flirting with a cake must be heaven.

I want to eat a cake.

Meme isn't actually a cake now that I think of it, but still.

Just don't accept any open drinks they give you.

...how much would I have to pay you for this?

Making my dick hard

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Make it happen satan please

I want her to arrest me.

The overwhelming majority of women in anime tend to be ambiguously in their teens or 20s as the situation demands. Few teenage girls have the bust or hips that women in their 20s do yet it is common to draw "teenagers" as attractive as possible. Anyone complaining about 25 year olds looking "young" is retarded.

I see 15 year old girls these days with fully developed hips/breasts.

>carnivorous christmas cakes
I'm surprised this hasn't become an actual thing, yet.

Like, with all the herbivorous men around and women having problems finding men who want a relationship, you'd think the more desperate women would be hunting down single men and be trying to trap them into marriage.

I don't think I've ever seen women as fully developed as anime girls regardless of age. 3D women are incredibly disappointing in both physique and personality.

Women are sexy.

...

You should look at women more often. Many of them have wonderfully wide hips and wonderfully fat tits (and I'm not talking about fat fucks either)

Whats the best thing to quench my thirst for cakes? Ive been neglecting getting into them for just the right amount of time

Try and stop me.

I hear they are also quite fond of Haagen Dazs.

Well yeah, I mean, that's the whole appeal of anime. All the females are drawn have curvy and well-endowed bodies and the faces of toddlers to give us a simultaneous "cute" and "sexy" appearance

My thing about cakes is that I'm almost 25 myself so these "cakes" are just normal aged women to me

Coming to a movie cinema near you soon. He was once a popular 80s icon singer, but then he died. Instead of going to heaven or hell George Michael must assume the form of a stressed out, workaholic Japanese Christmas cake who must seduce a shy, awkward virgin young boy before he needs to pass on to the after life because reasons....

The feel good holiday drama of the year, LAST CHRISTMAS

I want to propose to an OL with a tub of Haagen-Dazs

>almost 25
How nice.
Shino for me.

Don't feel bad, I am 32. They are young girls to me.

>tfw you will never meet a cake desperate enough to marry you

Your terminal shortsightedness is showing.

This thread is not sweet enough.

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Post cakes that will NEVER find a man

Although she has found a boy

>a 27 year old who lies about her age and claims to be 17
>a 26 year old that dresses and acts like a 16 year old

It would probably be more endearing in real life than how it actually works, with 40 year old women trying to pretend they're 20

God I wish I could meet a christmas cake for me to pour affection and attention into.

>a 27 year old who lies about her age and claims to be 17
>27
Yeah, about that.

We all do buddy

>a 37 year old who lies about being 17 who falls back on claiming she's 27 to anyone who finds out she isn't 17

I heard this in Arin's movie narrator voice goddammit

Isn't that term on its way out, despite being a social stigma?

Why are they considered "useless", even though there are still some guys willing to date them? Age is but a number.

The whole "muh eternal youth" thing sucks.

Sorry for double posting, but can't they just lie about their age? No one can really tell unless they're bad liars.

Rape.

I swear this looks like Captain Murrue Ramius during her time as a mechanic in Morgenroete.

Intriguing suggestions

>Narrator: This summer.... christmas "comes" early

My sides are in orbit.

read manga, faggot.

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