You have a time machine and can go back 1 time

You have a time machine and can go back 1 time.

What do, Sup Forums?

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cemetery_Ridge
commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:11th_Mississippi_Infantry_Regiment_battle_flag_army.mil-2008-09-10-145530.jpg)
youtube.com/watch?v=54sSF5JS_HA
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

rescue her

Kill Mohammed.

Bring back baby dinosaurs and take them to the present era.

Rape 10,000 women and secure genetic supremacy over the human race.

Go back in time and fuck the loli version of my mom.

buy bitcoin

Kill Lincoln, just sooner.

Print off the entire battle history of WW2 and deliver them to Germany.

Stop Wilson from getting elected then hop over to the holocaust and safe Anne Frank who becomes my wifu, then save JFK from getting assassinated. Then head home and have 20 kids with wifu while becoming president of earth.

I take with me schematics on how to build a modern jet engine and the production line to 1935 Germany and also give them a quick rundown of events from our timeline and the horrible future of the German people

GO BACK AND WARN HITLER

Go back to election night and relive the magic.

I ban Jewish usury

They'd die from oxygen deprivation....

This

Go back to the 1900 and kill every single revolutionary communist on the planet.

>rescue someone fictitious

...

Nothing all is the will of the Creator.

I want to stain her mountian tops

Acquire proto-altaic hunter gather gf

Don't go, we are so lucky to be alive now in this present moment, lets get this shit starting while we are young

Time is not real so you can not travel in it.

I would tell Hitler that Jews are not the real problem, Muslims are and I show him pictures of multicultural Germany from 2014-2018. Then I return again to my time and appreciate the fruits of the tree I plant ;)

Go back to Garden of Eden and tell Adam he will stop being lonely after a while

Go back to 2009 and buy bitcoin..... duh

the jews are the ones who are letting and paying their way for Germany be raped.
Better tell Hitler to actually make the fucking holohoax

Assure Confederate victory in the American Civil War so we can have pic related

fuck her in the ass and mouth so she won't look so happy in all these pictures

Bring a bunch of books on physics, modern weapons, etc. and give them to Germany obviously. Also tell them about Normandy, that their code had been broken, the code the allies were using via injuns, and basically just win the war for Germany desu.

>Sooner
>Not Later

Take a shit in anne frank's toilet and let it stink to the point where the germans can find her.. and tell the germans this "MORE LIKE ANNE STANK"

I'd go back and make the holohoax actually happen for real

See my old railroad town in the early 1900s

Make sure the Lusitania doesn't get sunk.

...

kill my mother before im born

Fucking faggots thinking time travel is real... Its not.

Or more accurately, it is but its in your best interest not to.

Imagine going 100+ years back and decimating people with all the "future" sickness you bring with yourself. Or going into the future only to die because the common cold evolved and has a 90%+ mortality rate 100+ years from now.

This one always makes me kek, it’s perfect.

This.

Everything Biff Tannen did in Back to the Future

Go back in time and give Hitler's scientists the broad strokes of how to build nukes. I could describe refining uranium and plutonium and critical mass etc.

>Imagine going 100+ years back and decimating people

I see nothing wrong with this

Alright Sup Forums I need feedback on this outline for an erotic novel starring a very pregnant Anne Frank I originally wrote for a /his/fag but he never got around to it. Starts out as a seemingly very minor alt-history but drops subtle hints that a major event in American history went very differently and is the cause of the events of the novel. Ends with Anne crossing paths with two very famous authors.

>December, 1943
>on the last day of Hannukah, Anne Frank hears on the radio of the Allies' victory breaking through the Gustav Line in Italy
>she rejoices, seeing this as a good sign that the war will end soon
>she reads a smuggled newspaper featuring a photo of of a general named Patton inspecting his troops
>Anne ignores the actual article and spends her time admiring Patton’s uniform, a lightly-colored long double-breasted coat and a cap similar to what the French use. Fawning over the beautifully made braids on the forearms and wreath insignia on the collar. She wishes she could see her fellow fugitive Peter van Pels, whom she has an intense crush on, wearing it.
>in the evening, Anne and Peter sneak off into an unoccupied room to celebrate their good turn of fortune
>while the two are chatting, trucks carrying SS men arrive and they assault a building down the street. Fearful that their talking may have attracted attention, Anne and Peter lie dead still and avoid the window. They can hear the screaming and smashing of glass. No doubt the Germans have captured yet another group of Jews.
>after the Germans take the Jews away. Anne and Peter embrace each other for the next several minutes, utterly terrified. Driven by the shared desire to drive the fear from their minds, the embrace turns to kisses, torn clothes, and the two consummate their budding relationship that night

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cemetery_Ridge

You know what to do.

You are a true pol.
Even your ID shows it.

>as her pregnancy progresses, it becomes apparent that Anne will have to be taken out of Amsterdam to give birth. However, getting her out of the city is nearly impossible with all the German checkpoints and crackdowns on the Dutch resistance. All of which intensify in June with the Normandy Landings. The Armies of five nations come ashore in Northern France, but hopes of their immediately liberating the Netherlands are dashed as it becomes apparent that they are bogged down in intense fighting.
>a sudden opportunity emerges when on July 20th, a group of German officers use a bomb made from explosives manufactured at a Powderworks in Augusta, Georgia to try and assassinate the Fuhrer. Although Adolf Hitler survives the attack, he is knocked unconscious for several days, during which fighting breaks out between the SS and the Wehrmacht. Anne and Peter hear the gunfire rage across the city for three days before the revolt is finally put down and the plotters are killed in a last stand in Berlin.
>taking advantage of the chaos, Anne's father spends what little resources he still has arranging for her to smuggled out of the Annex and into the countryside as her due date nears, demanding that Peter accompany her to force him to take responsibility and protect his daughter if necessary
>the pastor of an old church (one that inexplicably resembles the Dunker Church in Sharpsburg, Maryland) takes Anne and Peter in both out of pity for their unborn child and a sense of duty to protect others

THIS

That boy ain't right

Kill Lenin before the revolution is an established movement.

Go back to pre crazy STD 1970s, bang women, do coke, invest wisely, repeat.

>initially cold to Peter, having blamed him for their shared predicament, Anne finds that writing in her diary, playful arguments over things like baby names, and sex are the only things that alleviate the boredom (having no other means of entertaining themselves) and ever present sense of fear, and they now do it constantly
>being so very pregnant and uncomfortable, Anne finds herself trying take her mind off her huge belly by paying attention to literally anything else. She’s developed a heightened sense of sorts, noticing small details that she would previously have paid no attention to
>Anne is emotionally wracked by nervousness and fear. Fear for her parents, her sister, Peter, their unborn child, and for herself. Fear of the Germans, being captured, dying in childbirth, of being socially ostracized. However the lovemaking not only drives those thoughts from her mind, but gives her a sense of hope that they (her, Peter, the baby) will survive this war.
>their survival rests on the bold and the fearless (the whole "people sleep peaceably at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf" thing).

>one day in mid-September, the two of them are unable to tolerate being crammed together in the small building and sneak off into a nearby tulip field to fuck as the sun sets over the Netherlands
>while walking back to their hiding spot, Anne spots a strange glint coming from the nearby trees and suddenly has the feeling that she and Peter are being watched. Freaking out, she insists that they take the longer route back, despite being barely able to walk
>later that night, Peter asks Anne why she felt so spooked and she simply replies that she had a bad feeling about it and can’t explain any further. Figuring that arguing is pointless and trusting Anne’s judgement, Peter drops the matter. The two have sex again before passing out from exhaustion.
>they're captured asleep and unclothed in a pre-dawn raid by the Gestapo who are sweeping the countryside for Dutch resistance cells and Jews. During the arrest, Peter is clubbed in the face with the butt of a rifle, leaving him bloody. Anne herself gets handled roughly by the Germans, who disregard the fact she’s nine months pregnant
>as they're about to loaded onto a truck to be taken to a concentration camp, the Germans are attacked by an unseen foe, firing in volleys from the trees and the tulip field, suffering many casualties, while Anne and Peter take cover behind the truck
>the attackers burst out of their hiding spots and drive the surviving Gestapo off with a bayonet charge, whooping, hollering, and barking seemingly like wild animals. Their bloodcurdling screams terrify Anne, sounding like something out of her worst nightmares
>Anne and Peter finally come face to face with their rescuers
>Anne initially mistakes them for being German as well because of their gray uniforms (this occurs after the July 20th Plot so that would make sense), but realizes her error when they start speaking an unusual accent of English, which she had some limited knowledge of

I already have a beautiful memory of that night, not possible to experience the same euphoria again.

Get baked with Annie

>Anne takes notice of the dashing young men and their pic related uniforms (I was gonna leave it up to a writefag better than myself to describe them) and is so awestruck by the beautifully made coats, she immediately has her head filled with fantasies of Peter wearing one. As the soldiers approach, she notices their flag's peculiar choice of stars (link related, their actual flag that was captured at Antietam commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:11th_Mississippi_Infantry_Regiment_battle_flag_army.mil-2008-09-10-145530.jpg) and finds herself overcome with emotion, having associated that star with the oppression of Jews for so long. She meets their commanding officer, a Colonel named Faulkner, and asks through a translator who they are, he replies that his men simply call themselves the "University Greys"
>to show her gratitude Anne kisses the cheek of a color sergeant who is carrying this strange flag she's never seen before (not being familiar with American history and all) , Peter feels a pang of jealousy for a moment. However the stern but most gentleman-like NCO defuses the situation by rejecting her perceived advances and getting her to redirect her affection toward Peter.
>Anne notices the soldiers’ bayonets glint in a way similar to what she had seen the previous evening and that some of the soldiers have leaves and dirt stuck to their uniforms. She suspects they’ve been in the area for at least a day and were watching her yesterday, but keeps it to herself.
>one of the soldiers, noticing how how poorly clothed the two are (Anne's dress is comically too small to fit her, Peter's are too thin for cold weather, both haven't had a change in clothes in weeks), hands them his coat, saying they'll need it more than he will
>the others hand Anne some of their food and water out of sympathy

go back, kill Immanuel Kant

literally all of the world's problems solved in an instant

>the conversation is cut short when another officer rides up on a horse and tells Faulkner that the “Alabamians” are in contact with the enemy and need immediate assistance
>the soldiers quickly get into formation and rush to join their comrades
>Anne puts the coat on Peter, telling him he looks nice in it, and the two start walking down the road looking up at the rising sun to see hundreds of planes and more parachutes than they can count descending from the sky. AA fire destroys some of them but for every one shot down, 20 more get through.
>Anne feels the baby kick and for the first time in years feels like everything might actually be okay

I'd go back to watch the siege of acre. Shit would be cash.

Step on the evolutionary progenitor of humanity.

>a few days later
>Anne (still pregnant) and Peter have hiding in the woods for the last several days to avoid being caught up in the fighting. But no matter where they go, bullets wind up flying and artillery rains on them. The two witness the horrifying aftermath of several battles and even wind up being caught up in one themselves where both sides are reduced to hand-to-hand combat. She notices how these new soldiers fight like savages and even the fearsome Waffen-SS seem terrified of them.
>they accidentally stumble into an artillery camp the Allied soldiers had set up
>the sentries, who are nervous and inexperienced artillery crewmen rather than seasoned infantrymen, immediately become suspicious of Peter (on account of him being military age, speaking broken English with a German accent, and wearing one of their Army's coats) and start aggressively questioning him
>Anne and Peter try to explain that they're Jews but the language barrier and lack of an interpreter prevents it
>the soldiers are on the verge of detaining Peter when they're stopped by an officer who dismisses the sentries and invites Anne and Peter to come to his tent
>the most gentleman-like officer to their surprise starts speaking to them in fluent Dutch, introducing himself as "Captain Foote" and that he works for military intelligence (usually questioning German prisoners and the like)
> Foote serves them sweet tea, (which Anne has never tasted before) and explains that he had previously heard about the deportation of Jews while stationed in France
>he offers to let them spend the night in his tent, give them fresh clothes and a pass allowing them to travel freely through Allied lines, and to have a doctor look at Anne in exchange for an interview
>Anne and Peter, both still traumatized by recent events, are initially hesitant, but agree to tell their story after Foote reveals to them that he is Jewish himself
>hours pass

These are the best answers.

>be the south
>import niggers
>ruin the USA
>go to Europe
>Free the Jews
>ruin Europe
This is why everyone hates you faggots.

>Kant
>Not Nietzsche
Fucking retard

i'd rather go 1000 years into the futute out of curiosity, we already know the past.

Go back to pre commie Russia.
Advise Tsar of comomies and kikes
Suggest what to do.
Turn Russia into a Traditional ethnostate.

>hours pass
>horrified by their description of the mistreatment of Dutch Jews, Foote tells them that he will open a formal Army investigation into the matter
>Anne turns her diary over to Captain Foote as evidence, who dismisses them as he’s expecting a group of German prisoners to arrive shortly
>Anne and Peter spend the rest of the day wandering around the camp. Watching soldiers go about their daily routine, officers planning the day’s battles, and even a church service where to her surprise, Catholic, Protestant, and even a few Jewish soldiers are all seen praying together and blessed by the same chaplain. Anne notices that the soldiers come from a deeply conservative culture and often look at her and Peter with mild disapproval (presumably because they’re not married) but nonetheless treat them as guests. Speaking with the upmost courtesy and politeness. A far cry from the desperation-induced disrespect of the Dutch and the outright bullying of the Germans.
>Anne and Peter eventually return to Foote’s tent, where he is in a heated argument with an infantry officer named Roland. From what she can glean of the conversation, Anne figures out that soldiers under Roland’s command were ordered to take a group of German officers prisoner, but killed them instead. Foote is furious that they both violated the Geneva Convention and cost him potentially valuable prisoners, but Roland angrily retorts that after what his men had seen, their actions were more than justified.

Kant ends Nietzche, Marx, and all the others. Nietzsche did nothing but observe what Kant set in motion. Read a book.

Collectivist detected.

I would kill Nathan Mayer Rothschild and make sure colonial Americans received some representation so that the Anglosphere would never fracture apart.

>After dismissing Roland, Foote allows Anne and Peter the use of his tent for the night.
>Sitting by a campfire, Foote spends his time reading through the papers taken off the German officers. After taking down whatever useful information he can find, he decides to take a look at Anne’s diary.
>Anne and Peter have sex in the tent during the night, although they try to avoid making a mess and too much noise,having noticed that they took visible offense to their public (and very passionate) displays of affection
>after Peter reflexively covers her mouth to keep her from screaming while climaxing, Anne suffers a flashback and she starts quietly crying, leading Peter to comfort her to sleep
>the next morning, Foote , having spent the night reading through the diary abruptly returns it to Anne, telling her that she has a talent for writing, that people need to know what is happening to the Jews of Europe, and he can help her get it published in his country once the war is over
>Anne and Peter, exhausted and surprised by this abrupt change in fortune, simply nod in agreement

I would say you're a Leaf but unfortunately you're one of my own. Please leave immediately.

If you're a writefag and you want to steal this plot, go right on ahead, all I ask is that you keep the basic plotline the same

Here's the music I was listening when I conceived of this to if you need inspiration while writefagging

youtube.com/watch?v=54sSF5JS_HA

go back when bitcoin was only worth a couple cents

You're such a Leaf

go back to 1982 and live my life from there.

Why not apple or microsoft?
Better yeild.

You're right, and I'm loving every minute of it.

>import niggers
European Empires did that

>ruin the USA
Apebraham Lincoln and his successors did that

>go to Europe
To free it from Nazi oppression

>Free the Jews
>implying there's anything wrong with that

>ruin Europe
No one's fault but Europeans themselves that they all vote for Socialist governments

Bingo

I take all the available information in present and then go back in past and give it to Mohammad, so he can make a better religion.

>Bring a bunch of books on physics, modern weapons, etc. and give them to Germany obviously.

You need more than just schematics to produce advanced weaponry, you need years of trial and error development to perfect them.

>Also tell them about Normandy

Hitler was warned of that possibility Rommel and was promptly ignored. The chances of him believing an American like you are effectively zero.

>that their code had been broken

Again, they wouldn't believe you. You'd be better off just telling them that Canaris was plotting to overthrow Hitler.

>the code the allies were using via injuns,

The Codetalker program was only used by the Marine Corps in the Pacific and was exclusively used to pass on tactical information. You'd giving them worthless information.

>basically just win the war for Germany desu
>implying Germany ever stood a chance

The Nazis were fighting a lost cause from September 1st, 1939 onwards. Every success they had was merely delaying inevitable and increasing the bodycount.

Better yet, never allow them in finances.

Stop fucking Watergate. It is bullshit that now every quasiscandal now has -gate attached to the end of it.

These posts are always great. Now if only the confederates can get their hands on M1s, mausers, and mg42s.... for uhh... educational purposes of course...

kill the first humans ever existed.....

Thanks

i would go back and kill you before you could make this terrible post
sage

Meet my nigga Amin and Help him Help The Nazis and Create a Fascist Middle east.

>Grow beard
>Acquire robes
>Sneak into the last supper
>Stand by Jesus
>Become painting

>not helping Nasser

Do you even Arab Nationalism bro?

You know why.

Watch the excommunications of 1054

read 'em and weep kid

Why not just bring a computer with wikipedia?

>back to the revolutionnary war
>create the Draka timeline

>BLACKED education

>rape 10,000 women
>pass on your worthless pathetic genes to progeny
>Spanish Flu comes along
>90% of humanity somehow has no resistance to it
>All die

Ohhhh... That's a good one.

t. t_d faggot

Can you show me the light about that?