All over the Israeli news this morning has been the sob story of Mark and Alen Newman, of Great Neck, Long Island, New York.
Their obese, neckbeard son Ariel came to Israel on some Zionist program in 2014. This program sent the participants on a 2 day guided hike in the Judean Desert. Apparently Ariel had not done any non-Xbox related physical activity since the day he was born, and on the second day of the hike collapsed. He was airlifted to hospital but shortly after pronounced dead, apparently due to heat stroke and dehydration.
As you can imagine, these two loving parents decided to respond in the fattest, most American way possible: Mainly, suing the living shit out of anything and everything in Israel that moves, trying to get criminal charges pressed against the guide and trip organizer, and trying to convince parliament members to pass an "Ariel's Law" or whatever the fuck Americans call them that would place 30 or so different legal restrictions on circumstances in which guides can take groups on hikes in Israel and various medical permissions they would have to obtain first, and etc.
Our two burgers, however, were shocked to discover that literally no one fucking cared. The police did a small investigation, took witness testimony that no one else on the trip felt exhausted at any point or noticed anything wrong with Ariel before he passed out, and closed the case as "Well, he was a legal adult who signed up voluntarily, should have known what he was getting into and gone to the gym first". Pretty much everyone else they approached about it laughed in their faces, told them to fuck off, and send any remaining children to a gym next time before they embark on a strenuous 2 day desert hike in July.
Julian Bennett
Everyone from attorneys to government offices to even social justice organizations. They cried and cried that temperatures reached 35 degrees (95 Fahrenheit) that day. People pointing out that that only kills Babushkas in Poland and in the Judean Desert that's considered a really typical and boring day for Early September, shoulda known what shit he was getting into he was a legal adult etc., only infuriated them more.
The abhorrent insensitivity of Israelis to their plight shocked our two American friends, who did not give up on their crusade against organized hiking in Israel. Instead, they responded in, again, the most American way possible: Screaming that they were being discriminated against because they were Americans. They sobbed to everyone about how they thought Israelis loved American Jews and would do anything for them and couldn't handle the reality that no one really wanted to hear the sob story that much. Obviously it was because they were Americans. Again, no one fucking cared and laughed them out of their offices.
So now they are responding to THAT in the most American way possible: bitching to the media trying to get Ariel's Law even considered by parliament members (currently no parliament member is sponsoring such a thing) and get criminal charges reconsidered in the case. The media has figured it makes for clickbaity headlines and basically are running the sob story for a day before it goes off the ticker again in favor of whatever newest corruption scandal will be revealed. No one at all has begun taking them seriously yet.
The end. Off yourselves, burgers. My right to hike shall not be infringed.
Nolan Lopez
>American >implying
Evan Watson
Im going to miss you guys when you are gone.
Nicholas Fisher
tldr: Jews tried to jew the Jews but the Jews jewishly jewed back.
Parker Clark
Get gassed kike
Ian Turner
samefag
Wyatt Collins
>Jews acting like Jews, in Jew homeland >Die in a Jewish Way >family acts jewish after >Israel acts jewish to the jew family yeah, to bad you faggots are the same no matter what country you parasite off of. Oh well, this is the year you all die.
Jaxon Howard
really hace no problem with jews dieing and stealing sheckles from each other.
Maybe you should gas yourselves?
Charles Ross
This and only this.
Jacob Nelson
Get off the mountain you PHAT PHUK
Levi Robinson
spotted the newfag
Justin Diaz
>Americans
Levi Peterson
...
Nicholas Howard
Cool story bro.
Jace Davis
no one gives a shit kike
Grayson Cooper
>Imma outjew isreal so even merrykikes are 56er tarding tier?
John Hall
>Off yourselves, burgers. You realize that is probably a worse case scenario for your country, right? >Our two burgers, however, were shocked to discover that literally no one fucking cared. And no one should care. It only got to 95 and he fucking died? I spent 10 hours loading hay bales into a barn in a long sleeve flannel on a 110 degree day. People from Jew York are absolute pussies.
Grayson Clark
I approve
Alexander Cox
kek true lack of empathy, ergo, humanity
Landon Perry
BASED
Blake Hall
t. Tour guide
Lucas Anderson
I want you to be the new Führer. Please Auschwitz Merkel.
Liam Morgan
Found the muslim shitskin leeching off the european(read GERMAN) tax payer.
kys, you fucking sub"human"
Justin Garcia
1 Kid was an idiot and so were the parents 2 Tourists who go to foreign countries are idiots. The locals only give a shit about you because you have some money. Thats any country. Even Europe. 3 If the tour guide was negligent then he should be held accountable by Israeli laws. If the government treats citizens from other countries this way then those governments should stop doing business with Israel until they learn some manners. 4 By hiking I assume you mostly mean religious freedom. If so I would never interfere with your religion unless it was being used as an excuse to fuck me over some how. If not religion related I still wouldn't try to hinder it because duh freedom in general. 5 You're being an ass hole. The family appears to be Jewish. Perhaps you should direct your rage at American Jews instead of America in general.
Carson Russell
I came here to post pic rel
true again
Jonathan Rivera
Empathy is weakness. It's even the reason Hitler lost the war, what with his >I can't hurt UK they are muh people
Robert Parker
This is why jews try and get everyone else to fight their wars.
Luis Brown
Nah---- dual citizenship, GTFO
Isaiah Bailey
>most American way possible: Mainly, suing hmm.
Cooper Ramirez
>Mainly, suing the living shit out of anything and everything in Israel that moves, trying to get criminal charges pressed against the guide and trip organizer, and trying to convince parliament members to pass an "Ariel's Law" or whatever the fuck Americans call them that would place 30 or so different legal restrictions on circumstances in which guides can take groups on hikes in Israel and various medical permissions they would have to obtain first, and etc. sounds like the most Jewish way possible to me how's your own medicine taste?
Bentley Roberts
>"American"
Jose Barnes
Watch yourselves on that edge kiddo. *teleports away*