Things you won't hear a black person say

Things you won't hear a black person say

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why make such a racist thread

"Hello, son"

Shit bait please kill yourself

Daddy

What are food stamps?

Fuck it! I'mma run this through WolframAlpha!

Hi dad! I just got my PhD at MIT and got a job at microsoft so i can support my loving wife of 20 years and my children and donate to my local church.

I hate obama

new friend!

Sorry Dequan, I can’t smoke weed with you tonight, I have to wake up early for work tomorrow.

>88
Unironically based.

"Can I get a job application?"

Let's all post in this automatically-generated thread rather than read the news threads, brotha

Do you want some of my KFC?

"Look what I accomplished on my own"

"Damn it Laquesha! That is my son and I'll be damned if he'll grow up without his father!!"

Black Person.

>Hello, son
Hello, dad

"Yes Officer I did it, and I'll take my just punishment"

Checkmate

I take full responsibility.

Stop this looting

"Thank you."

We were not kings and didn't make the pyramids.
Also, I'm STD free.

"No, no, after you."

I'll like extra mayo with that.

...

I think a 20% tip is about right for the excellent service I received.

Hey honey I'll be home late, the boss asked us to stay late.

I love you dad
Thanks for the warning officer

I am sorry officer I will comply.

I actually enjoy the way black pastors speak. You don't find that kind of conviction anymore with whites sadly, well until Trump rolled along.

"Ok son, have a good first day at school. Remember to obey your teachers, pay attention, and work hard. When you get home we'll play a little catch and after that I'll help you with your homework. I love you."

I am accountable for my own actions.

I gave a presentation once in Boston.
I was nervous and an almost southern accent came out. Went for it and spoke like a southern black evangelist.
Everybody was captivated. Best presentation I ever gave.
Also I'm white and greek but 100% fluent in English.

Hitler gave speeches like that too. People seem to listen to people who put emotion and conviction behind things. I think because most people wish they could have conviction like that.

I seriously doubt anyone tried to force themselves on her.

im making sure tto tell my kids this all the time to prove you wrong

Good, prove us wrong. Fix your countries, make them better than ours. That way you have no excuse to come here.

probably what shes upset about.

Conviction about a fucking new window cleaning system...

you just wait and see
genocide in 2050. mark your calendars

"Please don't shoot me!"

Unfortunately.

This isn't hyperbole or anything, but that is seriously one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen.

That escalated quickly. You went from telling your kids you love them to show us, to genocide in 2 posts. Relax guy.

You probably sold the shit out of it too.

whether or not a person puts spices on his food is irrelevant trifle and i am more concerned about important issues

k

"No that's fine, I'll pay for it"

They said their Mexicans were cheaper.
But were impressed.

"Boy are my kids the best , they put my father's day card inside my work boots so I'd see it before I went to work ".

"Excuse me sir, I believe you've dropped your wallet"

>excuse me
>thank you

The fact you said it like that Mexicans were slave machines made me kek.

Another

"Geez, I'm early!"

What sucks about black pastors is stupid people in the audience will catch on to the energy and start shaking their heads going "Mmhmm" and "Yep," mid-sentence, so they couldn't possibly have even comprehended what the pastor was saying, which makes it obvious they have no actual interest in learning anything and instead see church as some kind of ritual that will get them into heaven. Despicable

>"Geez, I'm early!"
I've heard them say that. Usually around 1pm.

Can't forget "Amen!"

I've invented color tv and contraceptive pills like mexicans.

"How can I help?"

Thank you for letting us stay in your prosperous country.

check'd and kek'd

blacks are paranoid about the government in a way the average white isn't

massive missed opportunity here guys

Nothing at all for once. They never shut the fuck up.

I am going to bed I have work in the morning

I hate watermelon

"no, that wasn't racism"

"I have to admit, I actually DID do it"

"I set high standards for behavior and etiquette and expect to be held accountable for such"

"Good game. You beat me, you deserved to win"

"I scored low on that test. I need to study harder"

"Everyone is responsible for their own lot in life. Better suck up and play the hand you're dealt"

Yes i will accept the job

"I intend to prove I'm qualified and deserve this....."

He did something wrong

"hard work pays off in the long run"

"I'm willing to delay instant gratification so I can achieve a personal goal that will better the world I live in"

Hey dad just got home from work

...

"The Civil War wasn't about slavery, y'know..."

...

"Be sure to tip this waitstaff well"

Black people need fathers in their lives.

How did he do research and not come across Hitler's writings and his favourite books/thinkers? "He recognized that the jews theft african identity and history" ohh....is this one of those "jews aren't the real hebrew israelites"?

"Call me a nigger? Hmmm...I'll prove to you that I'm not"

back from the grocery store son

NOOD BIX

I got work in the morning

Dayum i better get up for work.

"please quiet down and show our teacher some respect"

"Here, lemme read it."

"now little Tyrell, go to time out for 3 minutes for not eating all your peas"

Yes, my pets are neutered. Do you know a good trainer?

I'm going to throw away my trash in the TRASH CAN and not LITTER ON THE FUCKING SIDEWALK.

"I have too much pride and self-respect to accept welfare or charity"

"ewwww....watermelon"

Lemme clip my fingernails right quick.