Home birth or hospital

Interested in Sup Forums's opinion. What's the better choice, giving birth at home or in a hospital? My wife wants to give birth at home (our first child) and I'm a bit wary of being a 20 minute drive from a hospital should something go wrong. Are home births redpilled or retarded?

Gather 'round anons. It's story time.

When I was twelve we read Anne Frank's uncensored diary in history class. It was pretty boring at first but when we got to the part she fantasizes about a baby coming out of her tight vagina, I got the biggest hard-on of my life. Literally made my dick diamonds. Luckily this was at the very end of the school day so I managed to keep my boner up long enough to get home and hop into bed. Spent the whole weekend masturbating to the thought of Anne Frank pregnant and giving birth. Best nut of my life.

I'm almost 24 so that means I've been masturbating to pregnant Anne Frank fantasies literally half of my life.

With a midwife or not?

Also did you see the condom balloon thing recently?
Apparently all those women who died for thousands of years from bleeding from child birth could have stopped by filling up a balloon in there with water...lol

Posting CP. Nice going

You’re tell me condoms help save life in addition to preventing it?

Get a good midwife you'll be fine.

Yes, yes they can.

home births should only happen when you can't get verbal and written confirmation that your child wont have his foreskin stolen.

hospitals are 100% the best option in non-jewish countries.

hospital. reason better care and teaching breastfeeding also easy fix ups with compilations etc, access to pain killers etc very safe and hygenic also scabu for babys with breathing problems etc getting the right care or what ever.

doing the whole is risky but hippies tend to like doing it at home the whole DIY birthing at home

it only works doing at home if you have a good bed or a big bath or pool/spa obviously not on etc.
Its a bit risky doing home birth and its big mess with ambeotic fluid and blood from placenta not to mention new baba's tend to shit it self uniroinically because of the trama of birth etc all over everything.

No matter what side you choose you get mid wife and your partner helping
the one thing i remeber is i had to hold my wife down so she doesn't hurt her self and help her open her legs and midwife so the baby comes out.
given the midwife does all the messy shit
like grabing the kid before the kid ends on the floor
and when the baby is about to come out it comes out like flying toast
the trick it to get it out fast enough that the baby doesn't panic and low enough that it doesn't tear the mums vigina up else its stitches and another 4 days bed rest

btw if you have breach birth (they will try to turn it around ) but if they can't turn it they rip it out of your gut FYI

so you best be a good catch to get the baby as a male obviously or its gonna be a retard or dead so be warned.

>No matter what side you choose you get mid wife and your partner helping

He has to get the guy he owns a business with?

better in hospital. Many home births end up in the hospital anyway and the doctors have to be caught up on the situation midway through. Second births typically easier and may be more amenable to home birth. Good luck

Since I first read her diary, I have fantasized about anally penetrating Anne Frank while she gives birth hiding in an abandoned windmill the Dutch countryside. Holding onto her belly as it contorts and expands with each contraction. Grabbing her jiggling and milk squirting breasts. Feeling as the baby slowly empties from her womb. Thrusting in and out of her as her screaming intensifies. Feeling the head with my testicles and the bottom of my dick as it crowns. Busting my load as she makes the final push, coating her ass and the baby in my semen. Filling the air with the aromatic scent of blood and other bodily fluids. Holding her and the baby in my arms as she sleeps, exhausted from the agony of birth and the pleasure of the creampie I left inside of her. While she enjoys her well-earned rest, I silently watch the lonely tulip fields and moonlit canals for signs of Nazi patrols.

Homebirths are fucking stupid. Both my boys were born in a hospital, fucking lucky too. The fistborn was an emergency c-section. The baby had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck and it caused his heart rate to drop veru qiickly. The ObGyn said if he had not been delivered c-section when he was he probably would have died.

Good for you Aussie

If you are white, hospital staff will fuck with you and your woman.

sorry what i eamn is the guy must help the midwife because its a big chor.

when my wife was in labour i almost lost a rib from her pain but if you don't hold her still she could bend her back and snap the babies neck killing it instantly
importally as a guy or objective is to keep her claim and get her to push
because many times she'll just want to give up because baby is rubbing against bones and making internal burshes and baby panics it will tear your girls insides because baby first rection when mum is push and its air is cutt off is to grab something and its not a nice something.
its the last part when mum is trying to get the babies head out

so yes if midwife can't hold her down and stop your girl from aching her back she might have your back flat.
the key here is to forus on getting the kid out fast because when your girl is pushing the kid has no air and can't breath brain damage is real if your off the mark.

Hot

Anyone here ever fucked their wife during birth?

Get passport
Go to Canada and use their wonderful health care to give birth for free
???
Profit


Fuck the leaf!

What? Babies should be coming out head first

no they wont outside your mentally ill racist fantasies.

its same lunacy as saying hospitals poison all jewish and black babies.

[spoiler]link to the passage?[/spoiler]

Sometimes they come how backwards, it's called a breech birth.

t. birth fetishist who gets off to anatomy textbooks on childbirth

I haven't read her diary in a few years so I forgot. It's definitely not in the original release though.

I still get hard as fuck whenever I think about it.

My wife puts the /x/ schizo squad on here to shame for her paranoia but even she gave birth in the hospital (although she still brought her own bed sheets because she didn't trust them to be sterile lel).

Just if you're an American make sure they know not to circumcise your son since sometimes they do it literally without asking (if you want this to happen immediately neck yourself asap).

if you're short on cash (aka white) you can have the baby in a hospital parking lot, if it comes out ok good, if there are problems you are moments from an er.
sage for slide thread under options to avoid bumping

hospital, if there are complications you don't want to fuck around

someone kill this jew already. i really get it now, you´re roaches of this society and holocaust is the only good option

all of you need to go to the owen

I am going to do a home birth when the time comes because I don't want something that is supposed to be positive and special to end up going sour because of cranky hospital staff. Plus, being at home would just be more comfortable and provide a more dignified experience. Obviously you should do research so you can hire the right people, though.

>femanon

You know the rules

Post belly

>I don't want something that is supposed to be positive and special to end up going sour because of cranky hospital staff.
You know what can make it go even more sour?
Stillbirth, don't be an idiot.

My wife and I decided to take the home birth route.

>We had recently moved to the Missouri Ozarks in hopes of finding a safe haven for redpilled white people and build a homestead. So, getting a midwife and having a home birth seemed like the right choice for us. We neglected to do any tests and only got an ultrasound at 36 weeks just to make sure my wife wasn't carrying twins because she had gotten so big. When labor finally came we set up the birth pool in our living room and started pushing/breathing regiments. After 40 hours of pushing we threw in the towel and went to the hospital. The doctors and nurses treated us like we were criminals and the words "inadequate prenatal care" got used frequently. It wasn't long after the epidural kicked in before we had a completely healthy 9 lb baby boy. They seemed utterly shocked, but, after days of tests and observation they concluded that he was a model of perfect health and released us.

tl;dr- if you choose to do a home birth but have to transfer to the hospital be prepared for a bit of a negative stigma from the entire medical community.

Were you or your wife ever in GATE? Maybe consider moving out to the country and keeping your kid off the books if you've got reason to think they might end up being stalked by the system.

Hospital you fucking nigger. Don't fuck around with something that used to kill a nice big number of women before the invention of modern medicine.

You have a very valid point.

Are you 12? You’ll be way too self absorbed and in too much pain to give a shit at the mood of the staff. They usually leave you alone while you labor and only check on you now and then until you are far enough along and then they’ll call in the doctor to catch the baby at the end. Do your homework and chose an ob/gyn that delivers at the best hospital in your area and you won’t have issues.

As for giving birth at home, it’s fucking messy with fluids flying all over the place. Who the hell is going to clean it up when you’re done after 24 hours of back labor and two hours of pushing where you tear to your asshole and pushed out a golf ball size hemorrhoid ? Your husband? Get real. Go to a hospital and have staff on hand just in case shit gets real and your baby goes into distress.

t. user that’s birthed three babies

You know the rules.

Post belly pics

have you ever been in a hospital where all the staff are black? or left your old people in their care? Or given birth in one?

youre in for a real treat

>have you ever been in a hospital where all the staff are black

I have, they're shit.

Hospital you fucking moron

My son was born 12 pounds 1.2 ounces and 23 inches long. A home birth would have killed my wife and son. Homebirths are great in theory, but just find a hospital that leans towards the natural and respects your wishes but also gives you the advantages of emergency medical procedures.

Yeah, but the hospital probably won't let fuck her doggy style while she pops.

Kek

We went in with a birth plan clearly stating no circumcision emailed to the OB as well as printed out and given to the staff and we were asked no less than 8 times before I had to tell the doctor to make damn sure I didn't here the word circumcision again.

Sure...but I don't see how becoming a widower and losing my only male heir is worth that fuck...

/thread
Even the camel-ticks know this is the best decision

Doesn't matter, had sex

Kek

>should I avail myself of a team of doctors, medical equipment, drugs, hygiene, etc. or just wing it and pop out a baby in my bath tub?

Do it in the street like any diverse valuable immigrant would do. And don't you dare call this place a shithole.

>Do your homework and chose an ob/gyn that delivers at the best hospital in your area and you won’t have issues.
Can confirm, did this for our first one and everything went smoothly. Made our health insurance jews part with a few shekels for once too.

That webm is gonna give me nightmares

Oy vey

Did they try to get you to mutilate your child's genitalia?

Ewwww

Seriously though wtf

What the fuck are you saying, it’s literally the opposite in America. They automatically try to cut your sons in hospital, whereas they don’t even cut the umbilical cord until you tell them to in a home birth.

A friend of mine is a pediatrician and he arranged for his wife to give birth in a specific hospital ward he knew was 30 seconds closer to the operating room. To him the idea of giving birth at home is batshit insane. Imagine living rest of your life with a dead wife and/or cerebral palsy child knowing it could have been easily prevented if in the hospital setting... Would probably kms.

Then you unholster your Luger and pop a cap in the jewlets

Home births are ideal for women who want an all natural birthing plan. With that said I don't think you or your wife would ever forgive yourself if something went wrong.