>be me
>be 25 year old KHV (kissless hugless virgin)
>hanging out with friends, two couples and a single female
>missile alert message comse
>everyone freaks out
>the couples kiss goodbye
>Me and her are like whatever and start making out
>we decide to have sex back in my room because whatever
>FALSE ALARM
Not a KHV anymore. If Trump was behind this at all he got me LAID. Based God Emperor Trump.
This made me sad. Your life sucks bro.
Reminds me of that Independence Day scene with that terrible actor -
>You don't want to die a virgin, do you?
7.9/10 not bad
How does my life suck? I just got laid and I have friends to hang out with.
Never seen that movie but I'll check it out.
Sounds cute good for you OP.
Better find a lawyer, I see a rape accusation in your immediate future.
I'll take shit that didn't happen for $1000, Trebek. Take your shit back to Sup Forums where it belongs.
Sounds pretty fucking great dude
How is this so unbelievable?
>be KHV
>use kekistan flag
Imagine my shock
What is the point you are making, is there anything wrong with being a KHV?
did you fug her good? did you blow it in her?
If you die a virgin, there will be terrorist waiting for you in the afterlife
Yeah man
details
praise Kek
shadilay brother
>"This guy feels bad, right. He's not doing this on purpose - it was a mistake on his part and he feels terrible about it," said Miyagi in a press conference Saturday afternoon.
I got a really weird feeling about this... like it's not an accident but a psyop to gauge peoples reactions or something...
Can we talk about theories behind this, because I highly doubt the official story that some fag pushed a button, woops!
...
>implying the single female wasn't your sister
>implying you aren't just larping
if that was me I would deny the woman the satisfaction and go read some philosophy and take a quiet walk through the woods with my mother's dog. I can't imagine going to death next to a shallow 20 something millennial thot with her worthless thoughts echoing about
If your not lying...fuck yeah dood
>yfw the investigation determines someone made the false alarm to escapr the friend zone
This is awesome man, fuck what the rest say. Good for you, user. It's only up from here.