Hello, Sup Forums. My name is Keyneth El Melloi Archibald...

Hello, Sup Forums. My name is Keyneth El Melloi Archibald. I was going to compete in the Magi duel known as the Holy Grail War but an overflowing black cup with the voice of a purple girl came to me in a dream and said I'm going to be cucked and murdered during the tournament and I need to drastically alter my plans to have any chance of succeeding. What should I do?

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just b urself

Summon the redman.

>Purple Girl

BB pls go

I remember Fastwheels

I miss Kayneth posting.

The only way to win is to not play.

Kayneth, ditch your wife and go for the better woman.

The best way to win is to not summon a servant, but run around the city murdering people anyway, wait for everything to burn down or explode, then claim you won.

The best way to win is by summoning David and dropping the Ark on everyone.

This one

just go home and fuck your waifu

best ending you can get

Don't piss off that waver kid what ever you do.

Ask help from your family Keyneth. Holy grail war is for idiots.

Dont be such a cunt and team up with Waver. Agree that his theory has some merit and the grail war is over before it even began.

That kid who bitched about his shitty crest in class? He's not gonna be Fuyuki; why would he be?

He stole your relic, probably shouldnt have had it sent with the rest of your mail

youtu.be/lSvOmu_ezbo

That rat bastard. No matter, I can still summon the mighty Diarmuid O' Dyna instead. Unless there's a better catalyst I can use?

What's your favorite anime Kayneth?

>tfw no qt jew king Servant

>A lesbo

Use a piece of the round table, you probably will get Lancelot and he is cooler right?

>The mighty Deermud
Try anything that isnt a lancer

take a shard of the round table - or even better get a slab from hercules's temple and summon him

Lord Kayneth, aren't you worried of some upstart master and his or her servant trying to attack you in your base of operations? They could attempt to kill you and your wife in your sleep or something.

But he is a black man.

Lies. He's a dreamboat and the perfect husbando.

Could Fastwheels have learned the value of friendship and dreams if he hadn't made Waver butthurt and went with the Rider summoning as planned?

no- rider states hed have hated the guy

Is it wise to underestimate him? He's got three whole generations of magi behind him!

Well, yeah. But he wasn't super keen on Waver to start out either. Kid had no ambition.

Get a wheelchair my man

You and your fiancée intend to summon a hero known for accidentally seducing other people's fiancées. I would suggest that even cursory thought reveals the potential flaws in this plan.

Also he's irish. Definitely not suitable as a servant to a distinguished bloodline such as your own.

The whole thing is a sham and a con set up by the three hosting families and even if it wasn't the Grail is corrupted and won't grant your wish. Go home and be a family man. Or rather file for a divorce because your wife is almost certainly cheating on you already, so find a more worthy woman.

Just sit this one out mate, it's going to be a shit show.

>Keyneth El Melloi Archibald
these fucking names

He wouldn't have gotten cucked, but he probably would have gotten Rider killed in some idiotic stunt.

Rider stated the guy seemed like a cunt and that he'd never fight for someone that doesn't stand beside him on the battlefield.

The result would have been Fastwheels wasting all three command seals to get anything done the first night, and perhaps Rider considering getting himself another master if he didn't get killed before that due to stupid commands.

Summon a woman, I'm sorry to break it to you but your wife is a slut.

Find a catalyst for Hassan of Serenity, then just forget about the war and enjoy your superior waifu.

he will die tho

Honestly he should have gone for some waifu bait lancer like Bryn

Howdy partner. It's me, Kayneth, that'd be you, from an alternate future. I just done finished castin' a right mixture of the Second and Fifth Magic in order ta warn me, I mean you, not ta let Waver collect the vessel. Also, don't eat them chalupas at Taco Bell tomorrow. Trust me, ya'll'll regret it come mornin.

How did this one character generate so much shitposting?

There is a ginger kid in the city the holy grail waris happening, don't ask why but he's a catalyst to a better servant that diarmuid

Liking traps isn't gay, but using all of them in your hotel is.

Not your blog, El Melloi.

He's like the only mage in the entire war to do things by the books and jobbed pretty hard

Looking back, it's kind of a shame that they set up Waver and Kayneth to know each other and have opposite worldviews, only to have them meet one time and the rest was Kayneth getting bullied by Kiritsugu.

Considering Diarmuid was an emergency option, it means the other possible summons are Irish, or at least around the same area.

Best case scenario, summon Scathach

Worst case, even Fionn would probably be better than Deermud.

He'd still get cucked, but with no magic mole as an excuse.

Hes like Shinji but he managed to fall even further because he started out so high.

Why didn't Saber just stop jobbing?

How about the Cu Chulainn? I've heard he's a crude asshole but also the real deal when it coms to fighting, so you get a good asset without needing to worry aout NTR

Someone needs to make Gilgamesh look good.

>Taco bell
>Not Kayneths Fried Circuits

Gil didn't even have to do shit for most of the war because everyone is so damn incompetent.
Pretty much every other Master exists to make Kiritsugu look good because "lel guns>spells".

Schadenfreude and he's a much more obvious retard than Tokiomi, Waver, and Kariya

I wish Fate/Zero had more scenes of Kayneth just chilling out and acting like a normal person.

He took care of that

>the mighty Diarmuid O' Dyna
Are you familiar with the pain of broken fingers yet?

I'm more annoyed she's the silver medal in these wars.

Jesus fuck how does Saber get so far even if she loses?

Kiritsugu and Kayneth's battle was my favorite in the story, what about you guys?

Summon a Lancer who is not a cuck.

>summon karna
>shove anti god nuke up Gil's ass while he's busy showing off
>shit on the rest of the servants with A rank spear strikes.

Not to mention he is the most loyal servant one can summon.

Mesopotamian. Throne. Dogfight.

1v1 Kiritsugu Emiya. No servants, magic only, Einzbern castle.

>most loyal servant
What about tamamo?

Stop bullying Diarmuid.

Tamamo can be a real bitch while Karna will never betray you because he believes that no matter how shitty someone is, they're still worth something.

I think you mean
>summon karna
>die from mana exhaustion after the first battle

Kayneth is no slouch when it comes to mana I'd presume. He's considered a pretty high ranking mage.

>Waver literally approached the delivery-man and stole his package

Don't skimp on your fucking shipping service if you're transporting a priceless relic/catalyst across the world for one.

Somehow I don't think this is a good idea

If Flat can sustain Berserker Jack using two transformation NPs simultaneously, one turning him into a high tier demon and the other summoning a total of 200 other hims (that are all also high tier demons), said to be like supporting 200 berserker class Servants all at once, and Touko said Flat was about as talented as Kayneth, and Kayneth had his fiancee to pitch in even more mana on top of that, I think Kayneth can handle Karna just fine

Why didn't any Master just create magical dirty bombs and set them off during the day, randomly in hopes you kill a Master by random chance?

Because all the Masters pulled shit like that in the second HGW and the Church had to intervene and kill everyone associated with the incident.

>SFshit

She was being magiced by a servant... nothing she can do about that.

I'm pretty sure she hated him even before Diarmuid showed up. It was an arranged marriage and all.

Summon a female servant, use Command Seal to make her hungry for your cock. Promise to let her suck you, and she'll never disobey.

How fucked Fastwheels if he summoned Scat?

Summon a better lancer.

Maybe not hated him but didn't love him either.
Did he like her ?

Don't you dare.

I want to make En Kidu with her.

Instead of summoning Iskander, Waver summons this. What happens to the series?

He rides her(him)

Did it ever tell you about the bullets?