Have any of you been to prison before? What was it like?

Have any of you been to prison before? What was it like?

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Gay

Pretty good, nice surf, hot summers but decently warm winters. I was born here so I don't really know much different.

So what they say about American prisons is accurate.

You were born there? Your mother was incarcerated?

>What was it like?

Like bags of sand.

Just jail and the looney bin.
Not good, you'll find out you're not really bad or crazy real quick

Cook county, IL.... Chicago. Holy fuck it was literally want I imagine he’ll would be. They have holding tanks of 30 niggers, 30 spic and two whites. It was immediately understood that we were on the same side. This was just getting processed in. As you walk, there are no individual cells. Only a few large hostel type rooms that are open with 50-100 niggers all barking and foaming at the mouth telling you you are fresh rape meat. Luckily, just as I was going to be put into this pit with these animals, the place on lockdown due to a shanking. By the time lockdown was over, 4 more busses of inmates arrived. Since I was in for just being a drunk asshole, they processed me out due to overcrowding. I was there for 12 hours.

Never knew you guys called it a looney bin too. Damn dudemust have been rough.

> not really bad or crazy
So you met some pretty bad and crazy people in there huh?

This is how I imagine OP

youtu.be/D04wb7P_v-4

That works!

no you dumbass australia is where bongs dropped off their criminals. don't you know anything about your own history.

Its like going to the bahamas on a cruise

Ohhhhhhhh that totally went over my head, my bad.

kek

I've been to Cook County as well, but I spent time there beyond processing. Literal hellhole. I saw some white guy get jumped by 6 Mexicans in the bullpen just because somebody called him a snitch. The tanks also had a bunch of sick kids on heroin withdrawing and throwing up all over the place. The smell was unbearable. My processing time took 9 hours.

You couldn't take off your sandals in the showers due to staph infection. Cockroaches in all the jail cells, huge ones, must have been a separate species that only inhabits that jail because I've never seen them grow so big anywhere else in Chicago. I mean they were like the size of your index finger.

You couldn't sleep at night because there was always yelling and a couple of schizophrenics literally screaming in their cells. And of course the niggers hooting and hollering. They would come up to any white person and ask "What you in for" and if you refuse to tell them they think you're a sex offender and gang up on you to beat you. I had to pretend I was deaf in one ear because I honestly could not understand what the fuck they were saying most of the time, and they get pissed easily if you say "What? Huh?" all the time.

And the food. My god it was just goop. Just random fucking goop and this bread made of... I don't know what. How the fuck can they feed people this shit. Even dogs wouldn't eat this shit. Even the giant cockroaches stayed away from it.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=z8A85cl5w3s
This is how I imagine it will go for you.

I had to take a monster shit when I got there. I just held it in for 12 hours and let loose downthe alley when I got out. I would rather lick a random dumpster than put my ass on those toilets.

I'm glad you got someone to explain it because I didn't get it either.

>Savages not understanding the subtle wit of the Australian shitposter.

...

I was pulled over after midnight for speeding near the coast of Georgia. I had a pretty Welsh exchange student chick next to me whom I’d been hanging around with on weekends after we became friends during class. I was a Chemistry grad student at the time. For whatever reason, the highway patrolman asked me if I had been drinking. I said no, and asked Allison to get the registration from the glove compartment. This made the officer really jumpy, and he yelled at her to stop - he told me to get out of the vehicle, and he violently put me in cuffs, threw me face down on the dirt. Then he walked over to the passenger side to get the registration himself, telling Allison not to move. Just at this moment, I thought “FUCK” as I remembered I had an unregistered Glock in the glove compartment because my room-mate’s older brother, a gun enthusiast had forgotten to get this gun out of my car. I knew I was in for some shit now.

I didn’t know what they did with Allison, as she didn’t have a license to drive in the US - I told the officer that and he just told me to shut the fuck up and threw me into the back of his patrolcar. We drove maybe an hour, and I remember my heart sink to the lowest I’ve ever been in my life. I spent the night at Chatham county jail somewhere around Savannah, GA. I called my mom, sometime around 4am and she was bewildered and didn’t seem to understand what had happened to me. I had always been a straight-A student, was a National Merit Finalist, now in my 2nd year of a PhD program in Physical Chemistry at Duke. What the fuck. In jail, the stench of shit and piss was strong. Everything was hard uncomfortable metal, and I couldn’t sleep all morning for fear of my roaming cellmates - all 8 of them. I was the only Asian kid and I could hear the niggers and spics talking shit about me the moment I hit the cell. I was sent an attorney who gave me a run down of my options after a couple days. I had a court date about a week away - I told him I couldn’t possibly stay here that long. He told me that I would unfortunately be processed into Effingham County Prison til my court date. What the FUCKING FUCK. I couldn’t control my trembling weepiness as I answered the intake questions the best I could. The injustice of the scenario was so fucking enormous, I wanted to cry like a baby, but knew there was nobody around me to sympathize. I had fucked up in letting my stupid roommates stupid brother do what he did. I was stripped rudely naked and watched by a bunch of fat niggers men and women while I was given something like 2 minutes to shower and change into an orange suit.

As I entered the County prison and the heavy iron doors clanged behind me, I knew I was in the shit as I could hear all kinds of animal-like moaning and cackling in the echoing corridors of this fluorescent-lit hell. Nothing in the movies or TV could prepare you for the sour visceral stench of this place. You the metallic odor of corroding steel, piss, armpit stench mixed with outhouse shit smell. As I was escorted deep within the rows of cells, I swear some animal whipped out his dick and tried to piss at me. I had asked the guards to let me have a solo cell as I was just a student caught in a car with someone else’s gun in my glove compartment. As my lead guard shoved me into my cell for the week, I knew they were having a game with me, as I saw before me in the darkness an angry looking nigger, about 6’4” glistening in the black darkness. I tried to be nonchalant as I was ignored when I asked which bunch was mine. The door clanged and locked shut. The outside noise went into to high-pitched tone as I was getting dizzy. I think I passed out into the bottom bunk.

As I came to the nigger in my room was pulling off my suit. I had never experienced such horrific ripping pain in my life as he shoved his giant cock up my dry ass. He fucked my ass for what seemed like an hour. He called me his beautiful white chink bitch. He fucked me hard and rough like this every night for the next week, usually several times a night. I passed out during some of them as they hurt so much and he got my ass ripped and bleeding so violently. When I left prison a week later, I stoically asked for some STD tests as my ass was destroyed beyond what any common animal should have to endure. I spent about 2 weeks in the prison infirmary on antibiotics. It was the first time I got some real sleep in many days. I was awakened one morning by an Indian prison doc, who told me I had HIV. I’ve been on Triumeq since then. I’ve been in and out of hospitals several times to repair the fistula that nigger caused in my ass and bladder, now 10 years ago. I hate niggers so fucking much. But I also hate racist cracker cops even more. I want to fucking die. I fantasize about how I should kill myself. FUCK YOU ALL.

there are no gun registration laws in georgia you dumb faggot

If true that is insanely fucked up

best sex i ever had

you need a permit to have a handgun you RETARDED fucking MORONIC piece of SHIT.

Its not, its someone's fantasy though.

>I had an unregistered Glock in the glove compartment

Blows entire LARP in third sentence.

Prison is boring.
Avoid it.

>RETARDED fucking MORONIC piece of SHIT
>Keeps an unregistered gun in his GLOVE DEPARTMENT
I bet you did real well in your chemistry courses.

>my room-mate’s older brother,
trash friends are scum

Got 2 years in prison because i was involved in a car racing scheme, The prize was 5 million dollars and we tried to decide one of us to win and then share it. However someone snitched us and i got arrested, my brother knew everything,he was in but then backed down, if he told everything he knew could have spared me from prison but he didnt, hate him for that.
I had to learn how to behave and fight, and also got a tattoo

I did 3 years on a 6. Just keep your head down, don't get into trouble. Do exactly what you're told by the CO. Don't talk to anyone you don't have to. Don't answer random questions. If you're white, which I hope you are, you better be ready to tell the other guys there what you're in for because they will find out one way or the other, and telling them is better than acting dodgy. Do not associate with anyone of another race. Do not approach anyone of a different race at all.

If someone approaches you offering help, thank them but decline their offer. If they persist, be forceful about it. Have your mom put money into your account because you're going to need it.

>mommy puts canteen funds on your account
>buy entire cell block their own personal bag of fritos brand corn chips
>made man status: achieved

Thanks for the watch! I enjoyed it.

Was facing 6 years in prison, 1 year in jail, 10 years probation, mandatory sex offender registration, but I was only booked and released on bail on 2 1/2 years probation, no jail time, no registration. Everything will be expunged after that. The judge I got was super nice and forgiving and didn't believe I needed to be harshly punished for my first offense. I spent about 28 hours in booking. Wasn't too bad, just time consuming and smelled funny.

Everyone in prison is out of their minds. And they don't shut their mouths. They just yell to themselves 24/7.

I've been strapped down to one of the tables
Never in my life did I ever want the sweet release of death more than the 6 hours I spent on that table when I was 19

>mandatory sex offender registration
who did you rape pedro?

What was your charge? Sex offenses are usually treated pretty seriously.

My dad was already prepared to open up a commissary account for me

Fucking retard.

DESU I didn't get this at first but now I do. Have a kangaroo cock witty boii

Unlawful sex with a teenager
It was "consensual", but minors technically can't consent because they're just not mature enough. One of the arguments and reasons why they were so lenient on me is because neither of us were even sober enough to consent, regardless of age.
This was like +4 or five years ago, I've lost track

>m.youtube.com/watch?v=z8A85cl5w3s [
youtube.com/watch?v=KIWnkcAVccA

So was she 13 and you were like 40, or

ah

i got a DUI 8 years ago but luckily for me it happened in NJ, the only state out of 50 that doesnt require you to go to jail for it

And I'm white and so was the victim
Luckily it never went to trial or I would have been seriously fucked

This, niggers in Looney bin are 1 second away from snapped at all times. Was in for 48 observation. Never going back just gonna do it next time

Varg has many great videos about his prison experience:
youtube.com/watch?v=iWhdzIJMEmQ&list=PLV1Xd_c5-wtZyPyMtyOKjJo2VG3iwtizt

I'm in my 20s
The victim said they were older than they really were at the time and I guess I either was gullible enough to believe it, drunk enough, or I just wanted to believe they weren't lying to me, both of us knowing the consequences that would ensue

I didn't get it either just thought the Aussie was boasting

I had to go to a correctional schooling facility for young delinquents, wich was practically a prison.

Does that count as prison, too?

Looks like you got lucky, m8. Most people who came in during my stay in booking were either drunk or spun out

I thought a looney bin was a psych ward in a hospital. I was in one and if anyone got violent they would be taken out immediately. Is there like a jail for crazy people that isn't just for those who plead insanity?

Cook County is not prison, it's a county jail with probably some long term county inmates and a DOC holding facility. DOC and sentenced inmates are usually kept separate from the general county jail population.

Why where you strapped down?

I can only assume you where behaving like a nigger.

I went to county jail for 10 days, had to pay 200 dollars a day to get work release instead of going to real jail. Fucking jews man

Everyone that's in jail is crazy, it's just the blatantly crazy ones get the special "institutions" with the drugs and orderlies and padded cells

I remember a crazy black chick who once came out with lotion all over her face. She "wanted to know what it tasted like". Then she said " I thought it was toothpaste". I felt sorry for the charge nurse on duty because we were just talking about vidyas when it happened

yeah i drove home .14 drunk. Cop was having me do field sobriety i was literally the "dude...what?" guy the whole time.
got pulled over one block from home.

Yes, niggers stink, and never stop yelling, it was like living in a monkey cage at the zoo tbqh

I was mad because I had been there three days and still hadn't received any meds, while everyone else got what they needed all around me. So I hit a picture and a few walls, kicked a security guard in the dick a few times, and 6 of them had to strap me down

My boyfriend got pulled over for driving intoxicated on a skateboard two blocks from his apartment a year ago

lol what

Please be in denver

Depending on the state, weird shit can be a sex offense. Pissing in public, sex offense. Unlawful detention, sex offense. Sexual battery, i.e. slapping a girl on the ass, sex offense. Parental kidnapping, sex offense.

I had to do SWAP. They waived my fees. It's like they knew turning myself would have resulted in being fired from my job. Really caboodles my noodle

it doesnt even sound that far from the truth.

He was riding home from work, which as a bartender, everyone gets shift drinks. They made him walk the two remaining blocks.
No I'm pretty sure Denver would encourage being intoxicated in general

For sure about the finding out. They will just run your DOC number with a family member over the phone the second you hit your housing unit.

Yep, this happens
I've heard if people getting DUIs on lawn tractors

But did you give them stitches?

I was arrested at 18 with 3 of my girlfriends for pot. I was terrified, it's the only time I've ever been arrested. My car was towed, we got frisked, cuffed, and put into a van. We got to the station they took our mugshots, prints, medical info, and lead us to a room that was like a mix of an office & gym. A policewoman in her late 20's early 30's came in, put 4 boxes in front of us and with a smile, said "Strip, bra & panties too!" The looker room at our old school had private stalls, my doctor was the only person who'd ever seen me naked and I thought that was humiliating. We got undressed as slowly as possible, my hands trembled as I took my bra off. We stood there nude, trying to cover up to preserve what little dignity we still had. "Hands behind your head!" smiling as she said it, I don't know if it was sexual or a power thing but she loved her job. "Wow, you'er going to be popular girls in here tonight. Now stand on the red line, facing the chair." She put on gloves making sure to loudly snap them, then ripped off a piece of that paper they use on doctor's tables and put it on the chair. If you want a visual of what what happened, look up "ACLU prison strip search is abusive" they show a training video, censoring the girl's face and nothing else. She told us 1 by 1 to do that, plus said to do jumping jacks and "Lift your tits by the nipple." even my friend with A cups had to do it. She'd make rude comments about our bodies and look at our faces. If she saw we looked away she'd yell "Eyes forward!" she made sure we saw every inch of each other's skin. "I still think you girls are hiding something." and 1 by 1 we had to do it again. We showered next, she'd say things like "Scrub those pussies, girls like fish to be fresh." We got on uniforms and she walked us to our cell, during the walk said we'd have 3 lesbian cellmates. I was trying not to cry, she put us all in a 4 person cell, laughed "told ya!"

King of the Hill does a reference to this

In Indiana, that's an OWI which is basically the same as a DWI. Can't even ride a bike home drunk for the same reason.

Because it happens, not just in Texas either

>Have any of you been to prison before? What was it like?

I have been jailed for a day on 2 occasions

It was ass, chilly concrete room with less than adequate blanket

I carved obscene messages on the wall with a spoon, read some comic books and waited for time to pass

Bikes are considered vehicles here for some reason

My goodness, Nigel.

hot

Literally anything that doesn't involve you using your feet for propulsion is considered driving

been to county for a week for doing 120 over the speed limit. Wasn't bad. Pretty cold though. The blankets suck.

I've heard that Looney bins are worse in Scandinavian countries. Here it's like a hospital. My friend in Hörby says it's like the 70s: padded cell with no handle.

Mods, /bant/

I wonder if my rollerblades would be considered a vehicle

I guess so.

Oh geez

>hey user wanna drink
>drink and get ultraviolent as soon as host becomes a total dickhead
>beat host with guitar
>he crawls away and call the police
>police comes and sees me enraged
>get tased and tackled like a champ
>sober up in hospital that's when I realized this isn't fucking Kansas anymore
>go to bookings, described what I did
>couldn't believe this shit sounds like madd maxx
>go to juvey spend 2 months
>same routine every goddam day
>eat 3 times a day but we are herded like cattle
>niggers, niggers everywhere
>work out all the time to pass the time and read books
>nobody fuked with me I guess they saw how big I was and didn't wanna risk getting rocked
>played PlayStation with the nigz they were easy game they couldn't pull combos
>start playing chess for remainder of time
>only saw like 2 fights there
>one nig was showing off that he was leaving taunting us all
>other nig didn't like it one bit and fights him before he leaves pod
>sheriff's subdue the shit out of them and re arrest nig that was about to go home
>complete total lolz
>help some nigs do a religious Jesus drawing
>total boredom after all that
>nigs always asking me for advice thinking I'm Einstein just because I read books
>no throne you don't have to be in juvey to go get a ged
>finally leave and bid farewell to my newfound comrades

Jesus Christ I'm never going back there

user tell me that's not true or else I am never operating a vehicle ever again.

Yes, watch Hamlet 2

...

>the victim
They have you cucked so bad you even use their language. No, YOU are the victim.

Well, I kind of have to. Doesn't mean I actually believe the bullshit they spew to me.

>LARPing this hard
You fags and your multipost stories about being raped by niggers or cucked. You always post below the text limit and make multiple post about stupid shit like this. I know you are making this up, and you were probably the guy that greentexted about watching his GF get fucked.

labor camp for about three weeks.
hashish bust when I still was a kiddo

meh a bit like the military but not that strict, in the sense you ie had to meet up and be counted in the morning, inspection of lockers and so. Again not that strict and you don't have to do pushups and so for not being orderly enough or your shave wasn't good enough.

They lock you in at night at a certain hour and you work during the day. Best is to just do the work as times passes faster then. I don't even remember but I think you eat 4 times a day. Once a week or so they open the store and you might have gotten enough to buy one pack of tobacco. you just get a few krones each day, you are basically a slave

If you want you can just jump the fence, but it will ad to your time then and they will send you to a real prison. A couple of guys did it when I was there, I helped one escape. He was going in later due to a mid range drug bust anyways. They already had his stuff there from the year before too. Drugs everwhere.

To pass time after work, you just go around and around at the place like lit 100-150 times or so, then you watch tv and hope you don't run out of smokes.

They do piss tests, so avoid doing drugs before and while in there, they will just charge you more. Do drugs when you get out instead

proof of kys

My best friend had to do that shit. I remember when he had an ankle monitor in high school

Be nice guys, muslims have lower IQs and he's probably not very familiar with English.