R8 my resume

Semi-attractive white male reporting in. Been told I was a 7-8'ish.

Post your resumes, spics!

The objective part is dumb

sorry, it was from like 18 years ago

I'll change it

>providing IT support
>printers
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

They were ancient dot matrix printers back then.

OH I found a flaw: "performed. recorded" on the second bullet point. I changed it to perform and record since I still do that. On occasion lol.

This is politically relevant, people. I hire people and shit. Post your resumes. And don't include your race because if you're black I won't hire you. Just sayin'.

We are looking for a tech. I literally don't care about its education as long as its willing to learn and comes to work on time.

Don't have a resume. I get most jobs just by walking in, finding the owner and then convincing him that they hire me. The next say I walk in with a void check. I wish I was kidding.

It literally used to be like this in the states.

I will never hire a boomer

This made me laugh

>race
>black
Sorry you didn't make the cut.

AH SHIT I just realized my boss browses pol too. Fug.

>in lieu with the owner
Sorry, I don't hire stupid, worthless, retarded niggers. Eat shit, dumb ass.

what, you can manage that many on your own?

>post your resume so the ADL can look it up on various job boards and dox you

Every person should have several resumes that focus on particular strengths. The single one-size-fits-all resume is for rubes.

datamining thread

Customer service : (

It's
>in lieu of
Jesus, how fucking old are you?
>In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made in OP's name to NAMBLA and the San Francisco GRID Research foundation
Seriously, just kill yourself.

jesus christ. i just wanted to be trolled on my resume so i can refine it. Just hang yourself to cure your paranoia, you'll be happier.

I'm 37

Your bullet points read like a fat woman talking about herself. Trim that shit up.

Yep that ended 10 years ago

Are you a hiring manager?

>customer service

stopped reading there

garbage format, you look like someone i'd toss out in an instant

Any advice that you can give on a format that you wouldn't toss me out?

Resume spergs are ridiculous, if Warren Buffett handed them his resume they would find 5 things wrong with it.

Nope. If you want to find the most worthless people in a company, go straight to HR.
To answer your question, I'm a chef for a national fast food company. Made 120k last year, plus bonus. Not too shabby, plus my accountant informed me that I will be happy when we meet next week thanks to the Tax Cut.

That offers no help at all or relevancy to the thread. What would cause you to hire someone?

>computer shit
oh my god i could not give a fuck about your boring lame life

and manager is such a vague job title lmao
manager of what sticking your thumb up your asshole

What do you do?

no you

1. Your objective is shit. Tailor it to whatever job you're applying for. Or don't use one. It's a roll of the dice whether the person reading your resume likes them or not.
2. Put bullet points in order of most-to-least importance. Your highschool diploma should not come before your associate's degree. In fact, your highschool diploma shouldn't even be on there if you have an associate's degree. We already know you've got one, or a GED, if you've graduated from community college.
3. "in lieu with the owner" doesn't make sense. In lieu means in substitute of. You can't be a substitute of someone with them. I'd think you're retarded after reading that sentence.
4. You list the job title as manager and then say you were appoin ted vice president. What the fuck are you talking about? Either you're a manager or VP, not both. And if you were actually VP that should be your title, not manager.

t. Some faggot that does interviews.

Objective statements are useless for most people. You also switch tenses a lot in your bullet points.

If you were appointed VP that should be a separate job slot. Don't put that under Manager.

im a manager :-)

Thanks, I'll remove the lieu nonsense and refine my title.

Vice president's job's is building the company and expanding sales.

Focus on the future.

6/10 would interview.

You asked me if I was a hiring manager, you worthless nigger. This thread is peppered with advice for your worthless ass, despite you selecting a Cambodian lice removal board for resume improvement tips.
I can picture you in an interview:
>So, Faggot OP, tell me about being nigger-tier
>Well, I start each day with a cock in my mouth...
>tenMinutesLater.jpg
>Okay...Thanks for coming in. We'll let you know.

>I'd think you're retarded after reading that sentence.
Exactly. This asshole is pure cancer, and I normally commend someone for trying to improve himself. In this case, the only way for him to improve is to die.

>t. Sears HR

how's this, lads?

lilsten, goyim. we have to follow strict equal opportunity laws so that we can ensure all americans get a fair shake and all of our children can lead better lives. just check the whitey box and we will get back to you if we feel your "skills" would make a good fit

Goddamnit I just told you to clean up those stupid bullet points. You need to delet and start over from the very beginning.

you better have a good reason why a middle aged man quit his vice president role to look for other employment...

objective part need to be scraped.

Your bullet points are way to long. Make them more concise and succinct

alright well im going to bed and i will make another shitty thread about my crap career in the morning. Cya then.

He's not a VP of anything except sucking cock. I believe he's a shift manager of a copy shop or something.

I'm not I just want to feel appreciated.

No, you are going to delete that nonsense and start over. Quit feeling sorry for yourself. Be a goddamn man and put some work in, THEN GO TO BED.

Complete shit. Don't list your HS degree. What are you 18?

You don't explain what skills you have other than vagaries. No one cares you had to run to the bank. If you managed 40 employees that should be at the top of your bulleted list not under running some stupid errand someone making $7.50 an hour could do. No one is ever going to read that really long bullet point.

Jesus fucking christ you should have kept the manager entry as well. Show your progression. You didn't jump from Office Manager to VP. The period of your life when you wrote software wasn't when you were a VP.

lol and what do you do? i am the vp of the biggest managed service provider in like 4 counties.

That doesn't matter to me though I just want to help anons make it.

cant believe a middle aged mans best argument is "no you!!"

fucking embarrassing

>Jesus fucking christ you should have kept the manager entry as well. Show your progression. You didn't jump from Office Manager to VP. The period of your life when you wrote software wasn't when you were a VP.
I wrote the software because autotask was too expensive and emails were too cumbersome.

>i am the vp of the biggest managed service provider in like 4 counties.
VP of cocksucking

It also looks like shit. There are nice templates out there. Use them.

education was a lot different in the 90s

He eats alone at chain restaurants.

If you wrote it while you were a VP then either don't put it down or lie and put it under another title entry. If I saw a VP writing software I'd assume the whole VP title to be bullshit. Unless you work at a startup a VP doesn't write code.

get back to plebbit you mouth breathing retard

>B-b-b-but I was VP of cleaning the office shitter
Can you believe people like this make it to middle age? America! What a country!

High school has been more important than a college degree.

A high school degree has never been important

what is an associate of applied business degree

>>>g

>no work experience to speak of except for volunteer work
>no degrees
>looked for work for one day, gave out 5/10 applications i had printed
>hired immediately for a full time job

my manager apparently was impressed that i didn't fuck up the forms you fill out for the job like everyone else has for over 2 years. i didn't spaghetti all over the floor and nailed the in-person stuff. i'm betting everyone who complains about not finding a job either doesn't look or is just fucking up the process with their own stupidity. I spent one day searching. Just one. I didn't even hand out all of my resumes!

It's a two-year program that covers some accounting and aspects of business management like HR. For people with a pulse it is often just as good as a more expensive four-year degree from a traditional college or university.

(cry)

very clever bait. little too clever, wait is that... it is, a definite glow. fucking CIA.

This made me laugh harder than it should have. Have some tits.

Meh. Shit does happen. I spend almost a year looking for a job. Some of it was my fault (not applying jobs while still in school and honestly I should have applied to more, but the ones I did apply to were honest quality efforts) my resume was really quite good for entry level. (3.4 GPA and two internships)

What does Kagney smell like when she doesn't smell like semen

your bullet points are small paragraphs, which entirely defeats the point. they should be 1-2 sentences, tops, and very brief. you did a good job on this with the office manager section, your Vice President section is a total fucking mess.

skills are things that you want to list and if you don't have at least something maybe re-evaluate your life choices. literally anything. why is this absent? can you type faster than 70 WPM? can you repair computers? do you know Tae Kwon Do? just list some skill that proves you're useful and can be taught useful skills.