Listen up stormfags. I got in big trouble with the ASIO two years ago because you memed me into declaring war on Tuvalu because nobody else would. I drew fucking battle plans and spent days discussing logistics with other aussies, god knows what happened to them too.
Well now we're back. I’m using an untraceable VPN, and I’ve now reestablished contact with seven other dedicated /k/ australians and a C grade canadian actor who I will not name here.
Tuvalu:
>South Pacific
>Independent island nation but loyal to the British Commonwealth.
>comprised of 9 reef islands with palm fringed beaches
>thinly populated
>population 10,000
>average IQ 65
>high corruption, people are desperate for new leadership
>the perfect place for a white ethnostate
On the main island of Vaiaku:
>small infrastructure
>1 airport
>2 hotels, 2 restaurants, 2 churches, a chapel a supermarket and a mosque.
State security forces consist of a small police presence (72 officers according to a 2002 source). They mostly reside in Vaiaku. There are 12 registered civilian firearms on the island. Police in Tuvalu are reported to have 21 firearms. Officers on routine patrol do not carry a firearm.
Current plan:
>Invasion will be launched from Fiji, 100 men on jetskis will blast propganda as we effectively follow pic related.
>Before invasion the leaf and a few /k/ommandos will infiltrate Tuvalu and set up jammers.
>Jammers prevent Tuvalu from contacting British/Australian allies, giving us time to set up defences and take hostages
>Team Yellow cuts Vaiaku off from the other islands. Police headquarters is NOT ON VAIAKU so it will be mostly unprotected
>Team Red has the crucial role of capturing the airport, which will undoubtedly have security guards. This will stop any high ranking officials from fleeing the island via plane, and will provide us with air support capabilities.
>Tuvalu is weak, our Sup Forums whermacht can crush it.
>We burn the mosque
>We use the leaf as our propaganda machine garnering international support from Sup Forumsacks and stormfags around the world
>Once new government established, we need something to trade to Russia in exchange for qt’s. Tuvalu is extremely politically active for a small micronation and has actually pissed both Russia and China in the past, so we will have their support.
Sup Forums declaration of war
what the fugg
why not just take an uninhabited island?
intel
old invasion plan (obsolete)
tuvalu women (to be sterilised)
Any context in this? Would love the story behind this
nvm I didn't read it fully
all the good ones are taken
...
They dont fucking have an army, for what do you need battle plans
Take some goys, grab a few beers and guns, and we storm that fucker
As long as there are no contracts, where australia or some other nation would help them if they got attacked, i dont see a problem with that action
Bump - This is seriously funny great jerb user!
Can't wait to see a bunch of autists be arrested on the news tomorrow.
How you gonna get your jetskis all the way out there
>TIDF
>spelling declaration wrong
>C grade Canadian actor
William Shatner
>two years ago
I think this is one of those masterpiece Aussie shitposts from the looks of it
You silly bastard gov gonna wreck you
lets go lads
nah senpai it's obviously Hayden Christensen
War never changes.
why don't u land on the island beforehand as "tourists" and do a surprise attack?
God damn straya, those emus fucked you up hard. take your medicine and get well soon.
continuation: i bet 20 guys with thick sticks could take the island with the elemant of suprise
Cause they're only shitposting
I mean if they're serious, they'd have to be the dumbest bunch of shits I've ever seen
Holy shit it's back
Guys this is a serious matter! THERE ARE LIVES AT STEAK... brb im hungry
begs the question, who would win 20 larping Australians and Canadians or 65 iq micro nation?
Would be worth a laugh. Will join in if shit gets serious.
the american cannot resist his natural urge
Why ?
unironically Tuvulu
I mean the Aussies managed to lose to emus so...
ASIO story time?
Well I guess see you on the news guys.
You really misunderstand amphibious operations. You're gonna need a lot more than a couple jetskis and a modified plane
Th-They were just offering them the opportunity to decelerate the war by surrendering. I'm sure those FILTHY Tuvaluans couldn't tell the difference.
>I got in big trouble with the ASIO two years ago because you memed me into declaring war on Tuvalu because nobody else would.
Never fucking change you magnificant, autistic bastards.
even bigger continuation: logically speaking, all you would need is 5 anons with silenced pistols (the ones the Mexican cartels uses that are actually kinda quite) to wipe out the ground forces and key civilians
So what's my reward for participating? Do I get a run at the local women? Can we loot? Do I get to start a homestead?
Most of these islands fell for the global warming meme and the population already have agreements to flee to NZ and Australia when the "sea levels rise". Instead of an invasion, a meme campaign to convince the island it is time to flee is the best solution here.
Holyshit please tell us you really sent that email? And to whom?.
I hope your under 16 years old or they might not find it so funny, threatening war on the commonwealth? Ah you fuked .but funny
>I got in big trouble with the ASIO two years ago because you memed me into declaring war on Tuvalu
You just gave them enough information to find you again.
If, and I repeat if, this goes ahead, and you need someone to drive one of the assault craft, I’ll volunteer my service as vessel master for a percentage of the booty.
Woah there Billy, I haven't completed basic training yet.
Oh look the LARP is here again
This is the strangest advertisement I've ever seen for jet ski's.
No he doesn't. Tuvalu has ZERO defenses. Jet skis are more than enough.
t. Tactical Planner.
>Deceleration of war
You're slowing the war down?
>mfw I just realised that
holy fuck these aussies are actually autistic
LOL yea. Please don't lock this genius up for to long. He's great troll
Have we already cycled back to this again? What about the space elevators?
Can't we get /biz/fags to pool together their crypto and bribe our way into power?
>tactical planner
>getting jet ski's to the island
Queenslanders should not be allowed to reproduce
Will he bring peace, freedom, justice, and security to our new Empire?
Arrr, if ye need a warm body then I shall be of service. I can't shoot a musket but I can cook and be the lookout.
Dude fuck Tuvalu. Why don’t we just go get a bunch of British Immigrants who want to leave that shithole, go back to America to get guns, go to Zimbabwe to wage war against the niggers, and if we win, bring back Rhodesia and deport most of the niggers?
>Population of Tuvalu: 10,000
>Population of Zimbabwe: 16,150,000
>tfw even though you were here 2 years ago you must have blinked while this autismfest was going on
Helicopter drop. Stfu pleb. If there are no helicopters, there will need to be a refueling mothership. Which is good. The jetskiers can conserve their energy in transit.
Obviously you'd need to charter a transport vessel to bring the jetskis to the staging area. It wouldn't be that expensive to rent a largish yacht and load it up with cutthroat NEETs and jetskis and steam it to Tuvalu from Fiji or Australia.
He has already user
It shall be out new motto
>bring back Rhodesia
Does that mean we get to deport the LARPers like you?
This invasion sponsored by Kawasaki
Kawasaki - Let the good times roll ®
Shut up commie.
>Can't we get /biz/fags to pool together their crypto and bribe our way into power?
This is the way jews do it so it must be OK.
i'm an ancap you faggot kike
>trying to invade a landlocked country in Africa, nevermind the 16 million niggers in Zimbabwe but the 100 million more in its neighbours
Well I mean it's worked for them
Solar powered jet ski?
kek
What are you like with Diesel engines?
Hawaii user here. I have bad news. We have a fucked up fish disease that's spread from Kauai to the east you the rest of the islands. Can't eat reef fish because of it. Pretty sure it started up near tuvalu. Ciguatera.
Might be better off with a waterworld colony. Nature is in the process of dealing with Pacific island niggers. Tuna and stuff is fine. But reef fish and fish that eat reef fish are bad. 40fathom depth cutoff.
Fuck off commie. Your kind was never meant for the open ocean.
>Well I mean it's worked for them
You're not wrong. I bet buying them out would be cheaper than the jet skis.
why tho?
Ok I can help with this but authentic Aztec cooking is one of my passions. For example, I've made tortillas with roased green chilis for dinner this evening and sadly was forced to substitute diced beef heart instead of human heart. If I join you in your endeavor would it be allowed to say, harvest Tuvaluans for culinary purposes?
keep shitting ad hominem faggot
>projecting
I can drive an HGV if that counts.
uh.... guise?
i remember this from a few years ago.
Yeah but then you have to run school propaganda ops and fake civil rights for the islandniggers. The Jew strategy is really time consuming and lame unless you get huge personal utility out of being personally thanked by your victims.
It's really twisted and inefficient.
Yeah post your illegal battle plans on a Taiwanese mud sculpting blog co-opted by the CIA for use as a right-wing terrorist honeypot, that's a recipe for a successful attack on the interests of the (((elites))) who own the CIA and the British Commonwealth.
You have to live in the kuru research camp where we harvest brains and sell them to the remnants of the Clinton cabal.
>Russia and China will support us
>thinking global superpowers are going to support a band of miscreants overthrowing a microstate
Yeah sure, China and Russia are all about challenging the sovereignty of neutral inconsequential nations. Why not?
What happens if you eat the diseased fish?
I had no idea this was even still going on
Does it float?
NUKE TUVALU
Ciguatera is only really a problem with larger pelagics that inhabit inshore reef systems, dimersals in such genus such as lutjanidae and plectropomus. Cig comes from a dinoflagellate that lives on coral, mainly. Oceanic pelagic species such as tuna wahoo and the like seldom present with ciguatera. Heavy metals become an issue with larger oceanic species tho
Ciguatera is a cumulative toxin. It fucks you up
>C grade canadian
no canadian actor ranks that high
Is this real?
No, but I guess I can help move the jetskis. And cook and stuff. And probably participate in the killing fields (allegedly).
Apparently it's a long-term poisoning deal like mercury. Stomach flu shit and inner ear shit. It's no good. And apparently the test they were selling to fisherman 20yrs ago was bullshit and didn't work. So it's kind of a gamble to eat anything. I still eat predator fish under 30lbs but that's not a zero risk strategy and I'm on a mildly affected island.
Even if you guys do pull this off you're going to get fucked by US Special forces so hard lmao
Kuru only happens when you eat the brains and spinal tissue, I'd of course not take such risks and would process the meat using all precautions necessary to prevent tranmission of zoonotic disease. Our chief clients would happily finance this operation operation in exchange for confidentiality and top-notch catering service.
count me in
i have an old shotgun, not sure if it works, but it could probably scare people, also i have some realistic looking air pistols
also we could get (or even rent) a small sea lander (pic related)
we go in on quads, or motorbikes, theyre mobile and will allow us to transport quickly accrosss island, a quad can easily carry two people, and it could pull small 20mm machine guns
A boat u silly leaf, are you bringing the syrup or what leaf ?