How do I become a jew? Jews are not a race right? So anybody can become one?

How do I become a jew? Jews are not a race right? So anybody can become one?

Seinfeld covered this in his autobio - they won't consider you to be a real Jew.

"Jew" means two things:
1) a Jewish race;
2) a Jewish faith.
Traditionally a person belonging to a Jewish race is also practicing the Jewish faith. But it is not always so.
While you can accept the Jewish faith, you can't transition to a Jewish race.
And if you do accept the Jewish faith, you will never be considered as a real Jew by those who are born as one.

Why do think they have penis inspection day?

What does the Jewish religion teach you anyway?

You can't. Real jews don't accept converts.

Hook up with one of there's and try to blend in .

There are two ways:

1. The Orthodox route:
>You go to an Orthodox Rabbi and tell him you want to convert
>He interrogates you to ensure that you seriously believe in it and not just doing it because you're marrying a Jewish girl or etc.
.>He tells you no anyways
>You repeat this process four times
>Around the fourth time he'll usually say yes (really, it's a ritual that the Rabbi turns you down several times before agreeing)
>Then you start studying the Torah and Jewish traditions and customs hardcore
>Do this for many months if not years
>Eventually you get your dick chopped off
>Then you get nude and go into a ritual bath
>Now you're officially Jewish, but the Rabbi will make surprise home visits a fuckload of times over the next few years to ensure you're living an ultra-orthodox lifestyle
>If he finds you're not your Judaism is revoked

Then there's the Reform route:
>Go to a Reform Rabbi and tell him you want to convert
>He'll ask you whether you want to have your dick chopped off
>If yes, you get your dick chopped off, if no, you skip that step
>You get nude and go into a ritual bath
>?????
>Judaism

The problem with the reform route is that no one except reform Jews recognize converts who used that method as legitimate.

Honestly i would love to become one. Just for the sake of jewing da jews

We're actively working on creating a Jewish sect division that is explicitly casual Judaism working within a tightly knit non-semitic enclave.

It worked for Catholicism. It will work for Judaism.

Holy shit she's one ugly jewess

You have to follow a shit ton of laws to go to heaven. But the law is death, because God made it virtually impossible for someone to keep it all, which is why we need the free, atoning, saving sacrifice of Jesus Christ, which washes away all of our sins, so that only faith in Jesus is needed to go to heaven and not necessarily adherence to laws, although we must still repent/try to turn away from sin.

Im sure you look great bud.

Actually saying it like its fucking true. At least Pagans realize it's a placebo effect. For being mostly rational, Christ-cucks have the worst crazies.

Yeah.. but those tits

k i k e

_donald

Those milkies are breddy gudd, gotta admit that.

Jon the blood line of David ite lie and say you already are.

I remember when I was an atheist... You know that atheism is a lefty thing?

>We're actively working on creating a Jewish sect division that is explicitly casual Judaism working within a tightly knit non-semitic enclave.

That's basically early Christianity, minus the "non-semitic" part.

Woah, that's some nice reverse-identity politics you got going on there.

Lol because I don't believe in fantasies and can understand the alegorical and cultural value that religion provides and dont believe in actual fucking magic tricks. Like how do you think it actually looked when Jesus made water into wine. And if you really fucking believe that prophets of god possessed Dragonball powers wouldnt that make Moses the most powerful Sorcerer? HE FUCK RAINED COMETS DOWN AND KILLED EVERY FIRSTBORN IN AN ENTIRE CITY HE CALLED DOWN THE ANGEL OF DEATH HIMSELF UPON EGYPT. Try to top that mister party-trick christ.