It's finally happened

The most stereotypical zombie apocalypse imaginable has begun to spread through major population centers worldwide and after widespread looting, pillaging, terrorism, and desertion, it appears the government will be unable to quarantine the disease. After an hour of lamenting the fact you've been thrust into a low-budget zombie film, you realize you'll need a plan to survive. You've managed to learn the following through Sup Forums's rambling and the media's less informative reporting.

> The zombies are apparently supernatural in origin, because they have no bodily needs, last in a state of decay indefinitely, and corpses, no matter the circumstance of their death, inevitably get back up. Despite bleeding profusely, they suffer no ill effects from extreme blood loss, and lacking restraint, they are much stronger than the average person, but somehow don't break their own bones with their constant exertion. They feel no pain or fear, and congregate in large hordes, which compulsively wander the countryside in search of survivors.
> They move in a shambling gait roughly as fast as the average person jogging, tend to spread out when fighting, and bulk up when destroying fortifications. One in ten is smart enough to throw rocks, wield crude weapons, and direct others in basic tactics, these lead hordes. They can only be killed via the total destruction of their brainstem, and unfortunately, their skulls are no softer than when they were alive. Fortunately, the infection is not transmissible to animals, and animals that have been in contact with zombies have no sign of spreading the disease, though zombies will eat animals if there are no people nearby.

By some miracle, you, your immediate family, and closest friends have survived the initial outbreak intact, and for whatever reason, they are looking to you to lead them through these dark times.

> What is your plan to survive, where do you see yourself and your group in a decade, and how do you plan to govern your group?

try to reason with my fellow undead brethren and then rule them all with beef treats and bacon bits

#notallundead

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I am not prepared. I will try to rely on others until I can get a firm footing. Chances of survival 5%

you mean niggers?

I'm unironically subscribed to a lot of survival YouTube channels who prepare for the apocalypse, & each of them says it's the "zombie apocalypse"

But we all know that's not what they're preparing for. They're really preparing for civil war.

I'm ready. I live about 20 miles from any town and almost 50 from any large town, on a farm, with well water livestock and a greenhouse, also own guns. My plan is to dig a trench around the perimeter of my property and reinforce the existing fences, then it's just patrolling the fence line in shifts, tending the livestock and garden, and having loads of sex with my girlfriend, her sisters, because I declare polygamy legal.

How do you plan on handling bandit gangs and starving refugees with minimal fortifications, all alone, with only a few pregnant women to back you?

Jokes on you, I'll have killed myself long before any happenings.
Checkmate, lifefags.

Fill my truck with anything I can grab, head to my sisters house and empty her place. Get our families to my dad's big fishing boat docked at a nearby harbor. Find a spot far away from shore and set anchor. Fish for food, make supply runs from the shore

Keep going to work I basically walk amongst zombies already.

I live in a shithole so I’m probably fucked but most likely I’d head for the mountains and try to hide places that are generally only accessible by climbing although I won’t Really have any supplies

Being poor in a suburb/ghetto is shitty

convince my family and friends that there is no point in continuing on, and that the only thing we should live for is to hunt down the surviving employees of CTR and Shareblue and murder them via torture.

those degits, the undead overlord has arrived, he is legion

>Join the zombies

it sounds like dealing with them would be better than dealing with my wife and her kids

Step 1. Go to military base
Step 2. Acquire artillery
Step 3. Blow up slow moving target from range
Step 4. ????
Step 5. Profit

I love in northwest Montana..hold the passes and we good

Go up into the mountains, make a good camp with stick and thorn bush barrier. Wait until it all blows over.

Ezpz but I'm never tell so none of you faggots do it first. It involves staying mobile inside a bulletproof vehicle tho

Head down to the pub, have a bag o milk with my uncooked hotdog and poutine and wait for it to blow over.

Fuck you NSA. You don't get to know my bugout plans.

HOW IN THE FUCK IS THIS RELATED TO POLITICS?!I WILL TELL YOU,IT IS NOT!SLIDE NIGGERS FUCK OFF AND DIE

CANT BEAT EM JOIN EM U HEARD THE DIGIES BOYS LETS EAT SOME BRAIMS

>have access to machinery used in metalworking, a small improvised chemical plant for acid and gunpowder production and an excavator
>make the following
>mines
>barrel traps
>ditches
>guns to arm my militia
>farming tools because fuck relying on the gubmint for survival
>have a small seed bank
>oil radish for diesel production
>my own power generator
>secure a dry stretch of land with access to a water source
>make my own fortress
>create a loyal band of soldiers
>create a caste of teacher-clerics to aid my rule
>become king

Retreat to mountain cabin of my grandpa with my gf and make some kids

Learn necromancy
???
???

>the internet stays on during the zombie apocalypse
man that shitposting would be worth getting eaten alive

White womyn would try to have kids with the alpha zombies

Bro just make a fucking house on top of a foundation of pillars, and make it so you have easy access to water, and food. Fucking retards.

Great plan, but that sounds like it'll take a long time to get off the ground. How do you plan on handling the zombie hordes, starving refugees, and bandit gangs in the meantime?

Maybe i could enjoy Sup Forums without slide threads