Confession

What's the worst crime you ever got away with?
I know you want to brag, its safe here because you're anonymous. give details.

I ride 80km/h in a 40km/h zone

Ask them

If one had already gotten away with it, why risk it by bringing it back up. Let sleeping dogs lie.

>its safe here because you're anonymous
packet sniffer activated
#werenotthatstupid

Confessing to crimes on the internet.

Don't do this, Sup Forums.

Used to work for a cartel running cocaine. Had to kill a few times to prove my loyalty.

muled marijuana across state lines, multiple hundreds of thousands of dollars worth
built a drug business
one day quit cleanly
"if u deal drugs ull get caught"
nope
also worked for myself, built all on own. by time it ended had a small empire.
then i stopped being a degenerate

I've never commited a crime.

Probably fighting. I do it a lot. I'm getting to old for it though.

Well gee, I guess I didn't return some video tapes on time

i watched porn before i was 18

also beat felony vandalism of state buildings. feds cant keep me

I pray to hard and I love Kenny Chesney more than a white Christian man should.

Once I cum the balogna.
I cum the balogna here.
I put the cum the fit balogna.

I once rigged the DNC primary election

>its safe here because you're anonymous

Ones faked a dossier for CIA

I was in the tunnel. When princess Diana was killed. I played a major role.

I have been convicted of multiple duis, felony trespassing, felony tampering of physical evidence, weapons charges and a bunch of smaller shit.

I only commit payback theft when I look at a recent receipt and realize I was charged the wrong price. Lowes owes me $10 and I don't know what I want yet that's pocketable.

Sad...

I killed nicole brown simpson.

so you didn't get away with anything. you lose.

What up Juice

I posted this reply with no sage.

you punks haven't done anything. you probably don't even know anyone who has gotten away with anything. posers.

I fell asleep at a funeral

> kmh

Can you cut the bullshit and tell me the real speeds dude?

I'd never even think of doing such a reprehensible thing like committing a serious crime, officer.

>FBI honeypot thread

CP possession. But that's not a real crime.

I kill hundreds of millions of potential children every night

lmfao i would NEVER post anything of that sort

Fuck you FBI

used to graze a lot at the market i used to work at.

Boss kept telling me to quit it, but it was delish and on good terms with him lmao.

As long as it’s ethical cp
t. Destiny

>its safe here because you're anonymous.

I once stole the constitution of the united states, soaked it in lemon juice, and ate it with some fries.

Stole a 8oz soda from a convenience store when I was a teen. Felt like shit still to this day.

Wew lad!

When I was 15 I walked into a grocery store with my backpack on, picked up a 24 pack of beer and walked into the bathroom. Unloaded all the cans into my backpack, left the box in the stall. Bought a Gatorade at the front register and walked out.

Ay oh i aint saying nothin

Once I went to the self-check out line and forgot to scan one of my items. After I bagged everything and paid for it, I noticed that there was one item I didn't ring up. I walked out with it and felt terrible for weeks. NEver did it again. Now if that happens I immediately start a second transaction and pay for it.

>used to graze a lot at the market
Like eating grapes without buying them? I hate people who do that.
I only watch the stuff where the girl's into it.

I used to steal shit on occasion when I was a young liberal faggot.

Then I grew up, stopped being a leftist retard, and stopped stealing.

>this thread

Illegal U-Turn

>Everything posted on this board is fiction.

Swam n the river where it said no swimming
Smoke cigs when 16
Thought holocaust might not be true story

NEVER DID SHIT DUDE

WHY YOU ASKING?

QUIT BEING WEIRD MAN.... BACK OFF

Worst in which aspect?
Jail time?

Madman

Bought kinder surprise

I own a gun illegally, but in my defense, it's an heirloom that's been in my family line from before you had to register em

I killed a guy in a fight, I threw his body in a river inside a plastic bag. They never found him, and his family thought he went to live to another country without telling them.

where do u find plastic bags so big?

>I was before the queen once.
>I had eaten mexican food
>a fart slipped out.
>the written was indignant
"How date you fart before the queen? "
>I'm sorry, mum. I didn't know it was your turn. You go ahead.

I stole a piece of gum from a Sunoco when I was 5.

Dnm over 150 orders of substances. pizza enthusiast for 9 years of the same source.
Hit and run on a fire hydrant and store, lucked out due to no cameras, had an quarter pound on me of weed.

Sold a kid 8 klonopin once and the stupid fuck ate them all at work so I had to try and make him not due stupid shit to get the cops called.

Stole booze out of open garages when I was teens.

Set a mini-fire near a field which burned for abit and fire department had to come put it out.

Petty theft.

Signature forgery.

There's a lot I'm missing but in my head I like to see what I can get away with, my internet history is fucked though and I can just pray I can make it to the end or flee in time.

Believe me or not. At least I never touched kids or murdered someone like faggots here.

Btw this is all a sarcastic joke NSA,FBI,DEA, CIA. I'm joking to datamine, I'd never break the law

I black mailed a cop. Found out through a girl the officer was cheating on his wife with her mom and brought it up when he caught me with a little weed.

idk if it's a crime or not

I have infiltrated several right wing groups and planted child pornography on computers in their buildings, and then "notified" the authorities who promptly shut them down and send them to jail.

forgot to add, shot a dude with it and killed him bc he was bein an asshat on my ranch. thank god it's along a creek

do u genuinely believe that we aren't also larping?

I've never committed a crime. But nice try FBI.

Killed someone
The lawyer told me states gonna declare me crazy and get no punishment
Austria btw

I drank before 21 and tried weed in college

I own many black slaves.

I killed a stack of backpackers and framed Ivan milat.

In the land of made up stories

once I had consensual sex in the missionary position

I'm so bad :(

You were giving a blowkob to a passerby for crack, the driver saw you two and puked therefore making an accident.

I gace you crack in I was the passerby

I posted to a completely nonpolitical thread in a politics forum without saging and reporting this underaged b/tiered bullshit

Everything is a larp. Nobody breaks the law. Innocent until guilty.

Except internet crimes. I'm trying to back off doing anything illegal online, whole internet is a honeypot shithole. I miss the old days of the internet. Don't miss online drug vendors I had to trust sending physical cash on the mail though, shit was annoying.

If I ever got arrested, I'd figure I deserve it for all I've done. Then again society sets what's illegal even if it's moral. Only thing un-moral I ever did society wise was stealing robotussins to get high off of.

But yes we just larp here, love playing personality roles and seeing who believes what. Also nice to post crimes and see responses and let off steam to tell people and hopefully be forgiven. However this is a larp

...

says kekflagger
dump the tools in snow, snow removes fingerprints n dont talk to cops. easy

Here in the land of no freedom usa, I prolly commit some sort of felony every day without knowing it.

mfw
>literally hacked the 2016 election.
>russia gets blamed

>alphabet faggots stirring the honey pot.
Fuck off faggot

This sounds like total bullshit but by god it’s the truth pol, i hate my life
It was an accident

Murder

i dindu nuffins !

Terrible LARP, please kill yourself. You tried way too hard.

I robbed/kidnapped my older brothers at gunpoint when I was 15.

well i once shot a guy in sparks. might have been reno

LOL Hi CIA.
I sometimes accidentally don't fasten my seat belt right away when starting to drive.

I pooped in Hillary Clinton's hair piece once.
It was right before the election and she was on tv. This fly kept buzzing around her face and I felt horrible.

>itt every user is literally Samir al Haydn, dangerous recent convert to Islam and world champion tiddlywinks expert

Did you watch him die?

.7mi/km so he hits like 70 in a 35. That's pretty fucking insane, actually.

How did this Sup Forums-tier, non-political thread make it to nearly 100 replies? God you fags are idiots.

i drove off on the i-80 driving in the left lane going the speed limit for fifty miles

I once stole a whiteboard marker from school.

i've killed over 9000 people using only the power of my mind and a tube of jack juice
i warned them the consequences would never be the same
now they can't even, they just can't even

I stole a friend's alligator Lego when we were 12. I don't think he ever found out. He had, like, an entire wall full of boxes of well-organized Legos. It was his father's hobby.

I almost forgot, I become a habitual liar when CIAFBI faggots start shit-tier threads in order to b8 retards into actually talking about things they've done. I just can't help myself. Just don't ask me about the dead bodies in my storage unit.

accidentally creating what in essence was a fully customizable botnet software that me and a sand nigger from malaysia spent writing over the course of a few months.

not really a crime but it got into the hands of some people that did use it for large scale ddos attacks and they did get in somewhat serious shit

you see from the perspective of quality - it was very well written, but due to the fact we were not using it for any nefarious means and there was reasonable explanation that it was not written with the intent of functioning as such, my name was literally on the file when you opened it in mss as the author.

so i got a knock on the door one day and thought i was about to get v& but quickly explained the situation, handed over all the source code and database information which displayed IP's/proxy address and ports/queries/etc because I logged all of it

In my freshman year of high school i rubbed my dick on a stick of gum and gave it to a senior girl i had a crush on. What crime would that be considered?

I downloaded a car

I ate oreo without dunking it in milk.

one time I killed 6 million Jews but they blamed it on some German guy who dindu nuffin.

I went 46mph in a 45... was a huge adrenaline rush not gonna lie

Fag. I went 110km/h in a 50km/h zone