It has come to our attention that a number of anons have gone missing after being lured into vans by little girls who...

It has come to our attention that a number of anons have gone missing after being lured into vans by little girls who had promised them beer and rock CDs. We would like to remind you to stay safe and avoid any suspicious little girls for the time being.

>anons
>drinking liquid normie-ism
>listening to audible normie-ism

i don't think so

Congratulations on making the worst un-ironic post of August. Contendership was weak until you came along.

thanks it came to me in a dream

Later tonight, listen to our special report: Young Ladies and Classic Rock. Tune in for our investigation into how a new generation has taken an interest in vinyl records and classic rock of the 70s & 80s, and how virtually all of them are young gradeschool girls who seem to be turning in their pink pony dresses for Pink Floyd. Stay tuned.

Stay safe, this is really getting dangerous lately, I can't even go outside without hearing laughs of little girls behind me, it's like I'm being stalked, I'm scared to go to work tomorrow.

>normie
People like you, then?

Yes, what sort of silly Onii-chan would believe there are rock CDs in a van.
The real ones are all in basements. If a cute little girl invites you down to look at her collection, don't miss your chance!

Lel, possibly the most epic meme of all Sup Forums

Reminder to not listen to anti-loli propaganda, lolis are cute, little, friendly and would never do something bad to a delicious looking onii-chan like you.

I love you guys but if I pass up this chance I'll regret it for the rest of my life.

W-why are they looking at me like that?

This, we're not going to hurt you.

I'm not sure if I'm actually delicious, but if my good friend user says lolis are fine, then I guess there's nothing to be afraid of.

>normie
Fuck off normalfag.

It's already past your bedtime, go to sleep lolis, no one will fall for your pro-loli propaganda.

Sleep with one eye open tonight user.

I heard a rumour that if you're bitten by a loli, you turn into one. Is it true?

I won't go to bed without you niisan

...

It's like they become stronger by the days, is there any way to fight back or are we just dead meat?

Please inform the police if you happen to see this vehicle.

Why did you have to remind me

I don't care much about beer or rock, but if a loli let me drive her 86 I would let her whatever she wants with me.

I should be safe as long as they don't know about my love of Jackie Chan movies

T-that's the van that killed my friend when she crossed the road after confessing her feelings for me.

If you haven't heard of him for a few days, how do you know this happened to him?
This is really suspicious.

>normie

I don't know what you're talking about user, unyathing happened today, or this whole week!

Oh shit tthey got this user as well.

What's your favorite one?

I like Who am I? the best.

YAMERO

That's one dangerous situation.

Police later found his glasses in a pool of blood but no body was ever recovered in the search

Friendly reminder to ALWAYS keep loli repellent at hand to avoid situations like this.

What would you do in this situation Sup Forums?

You sick fuck

Accept my fate.

...

let go, there is no hope

Some nice looking girls have opened a shop near me offering Bob Seger and Steve Miller dakimakuras. Maybe I'll check it out.

There's no escape at this point. They have me in their sights so I'm a dead-man walking

What if they accidentally bit their own tongue, do we get super lolis?
Is that how oppai lolis originated

What are they holding? I've never seen anything like that before

Beyblades.

Throw candy.
Run away, hope they don't follow.

Yoyo.

loli grenades, they all carry one of those in Japan in their randoseru

Those fighting tops? Doesn't attaching them to a necklace defeat the point?

>What if they accidentally bit their own tongue
Binary fission.
That's how loli twins are born.

Don't pull this boku no picu tier shit on me you little fucks, I'm not asking for a rec
Tell me what it is, or Akari~n gets it.

What happens if you bite a loli?

>What if they accidentally bit their own tongue
May God have mercy on our souls.

If you don't know what that is, then you haven't watched enough anime, you nimrod.

Dunno, I can't talk with the dead.

You go to prison and get harassed by loli wardens

Bribe then with all the candy they can eat.

I've watched hundreds of shows at the very least. If you mean that I haven't read enough loli doujins, then yeah, you got me.

>I've watched hundreds of shows
All worthless if none taught you about the lolis' most powerful weapon.

Are you telling me that Hachikuji keeps multiplying? Oh boy.

I mean, oh the horror.

Phew, I-I'm safe! I think this one is a-ok!

Pretty sure those cause an alarm to go off when pulled fully.

It's a trap. She means 20 months. Get out of there user.

have you never watched her OP?

I get the joke about beer, but why rock music? It's not like you lure in a loli with pop songs. Shouldn't the loli try to lure in men with anime or manga anyways since this is Sup Forums?

Just things that oniichans in general would like.

>stealth pedo thread
Eww.

When the lolis come for you don't say we didn't earn you

*warn

Don't reply to me, pedo weirdo.

Someone's a little defensive

Lolis are too sexy, they have done things to me. I can't even see old hags as females anymore.

Maybe you are gay?

I don't think you quite understand the meaning of the word "gay". Gays are people who are attracted to people of the same gender.
I'm a male and I get sexually aroused by lolis, which are female. Therefore, I'm heterosexual.

I don't know user. You look pretty gay to me.

I'm not sure how you know what I look like, nor why you are so obsessed with me being gay, but I can assure you that I only get erect to lolis' soft bodies.
Sorry to disappoint if you're a homosexual who's interested in me, but I don't believe that's the case.

It's fine, user. I will not judge you for being gay, like at least youre not a pedoshit. Be happy.

>at least youre not a pedoshit
Indeed. I'm actually a lolicon. I masturbate solely to 2D lolis.

I know, I know it's difficult to accept you were a uke all along, but don't be too hard to yourself. Just accept who you really are and go for it. Good luck!

You sound like a fujo.
I suppose that explains why you are so jealous of lolis.
Please, don't be so harsh with yourself, it is quite literally impossible to compete with these cute little angels.

WHERE IS THE JAPANESE TRUCK DRIVER ,ONLY HIM CAN SAVE US !!

trying a little too hard to fit in there bornafter2000-kun

You fell into their tricks user, I'm sorry, but you're gonna live as a loli lover forever.