"Hello user! From today onwards I'll be your government assigned boyfriend and financial provider...

>"Hello user! From today onwards I'll be your government assigned boyfriend and financial provider. How about we cuddle and get to know each other a bit? or go out for a movie and dinner? I'll be buying of course"

How do you react.

There are worse fates.

>cuddle

Meh. It's gay but financial stability is financial stability.

i'll just say i have a headache and spend all his money.

you think i haven't learned how to be a leech?

I needed a new bitch.

no homo.

I have no reason to not go along with this

I've been using a massive dragon dildo for ages already, I'm sure i won't feel his cock.

Kek.

>"boy"friend

This could legitmately happen in Sweden or Canada in the near future, though. I feel this isn't something we should joke about.

I'd ask how to get my man-tits and lats to combine together into a wraparound donut like his

okay. but only if you get to cuck me.

Id cry a for a while but like this user said its gay but financial stability is financial stability.
But what are we talking op? Is he a benefits bum with next to no moneys or wolf of wall street exec type?

i-is this you user?

Fire a round of 00 buck to his chest and skidattle.

eat a metric fuckton and lift a metric fuckton X 2

We can go see a movie and dinner, yeah dude. But I'm afraid we can't cuddle, I'm not into that. However we can be best pals?

lost it

>Is it cool if I call you Dad?

>flag

Are uniforms mandated as well?

Cause that would make me so happy..

>the metal pellets bounce from his meaty chest and fall to the ground
>"Hehe wow user, that tickled!"

What do you do now?

Uh I specifically requested twinks only. Damn goverment treading on me again.

>where are my sides that ye hath driven away, thee villains

>Sweden
Of course

Me:*pulls out gun and shoot to boyfriend/financial advisor's head, so i can fuck him in the ass, it's actually no homo because fucking a dead body is not gay, it's just necrophylia.*
Me: *takes dead guy's wallet, and invests money on the worst penny stock in India, Highest Volitality, not sure if no liquidity or liquidation happened already on penny stock, and that would possibly mean 1000% gain on what i stole from the dead guy, actually turn out to get 12 trillion rupees, stuck in shit smelling India though so, yeah*