Hypothetical situation; Finland declares war against United States

Hypothetical situation; Finland declares war against United States

What would happen?

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Finland - that where Aquaman lives?

Nothing would happen.

Finnish people are powerful sorcerers, so they would charge shirtless into battle with their animal totems. The berserk Finns will scream PERKELE as a battle cry and chop the head off of every burgermutt with a gladius.

American ships would be spotted sailing in circles near Antarctica asking bypassers for the location of "Funland or some shit"

United States will laugh. Finland will continue being inconsequential.

American niggers would get beat by a couple dozen hapas and declare defeat within 2 weeks.

I'd laugh, a lot.

W'ill blame the Russians

the lost Finnish Empire mechas would reignite their engines after hearing the screams of their creators and no american would be left alive

We could crush Finland with the military hardware on display on our museums alone.

What if Finland has militarized trolls?

Hard to say, Finns are fucking crazy. I unironically believe they all have spooky pagan winter magic

case in point

I think finns beated soviets while ago.

Finns exterminate all non-Finns in their borders, but instead of gas chambers you use saunas.

Trump would die. Unironically
He would have to kek so hard he would not survive it

Do finns have ice magic? If not then how do they plan on taking an inch of american land?

Hypothetically speaking, Finland kicks our collective soft fat ass.

Sleeper cells in Wisconsin, Minnesota, and Michigan

Your entire military is built for defence, not offence. You don't have anyway to deliver an attack on any American territory and just a few American made cruise missiles for anti-ship service, so maybe you could hit one of our Arliegh Burke-class destroyers when they're making a port call to Tallinn or another port in NATO.

Please don't attack, Finland, I do not want my ancestral home turned to glass.

Fun fact: there's a sailor myth that Finns are bad luck on board ships because they're wizards who control the weather with their emotions. Back in the day, Vikings wouldn't allow them aboard their raiding parties for fear of storms, and the myth actually existed for a really long time. I'm a sailor (merchant), I used to work with an old-timer who was the bosun and we got a Finn aboard as a deckhand (this was in the mid-1980s I think).

The bosun, who otherwise was the saltiest, meanest motherfucker you ever met in your life, treated this Finn like he was a fucking princess. Never made him do bullshit work, always let him take long breaks, etc. We asked him once what the fuck the issue was, like if they were fucking or what. He told us that he didn't want to make the Finn upset and summon a storm.

...

Vehicle Incident in Finland on February 25 2018 03:42 PM (UTC).
A cargo ship got stuck in the ice off of Finland's coastal city of Porvoo on Sunday, causing the cargo ship sailing behind it to crash into it. The latter vessel incurred a hole in its hull, but there were no further injuries to the crew or the surroundings. The incident occurred on Sunday morning south of Porvoo's Kalbagrund area, in international waters. The Finnish Border Guard reports that the westward travelling ships were sailing in single file, due to ice build-up in the area. When the ship in front became stuck in the ice, the ship behind it was not able to stop in time. A hole above water level was made in the second ship's bow. The second ship was flying under a Panama flag. Neither of the vessels was carrying a potentially dangerous load, and no one was injured. Both ships were able to continue their journeys without assistance. The Finnish Border Guard's Dornier search and rescue utility aircraft and Marine Alutech Watercat were dispatched to the area to assist the ships.

Environment Pollution in Finland on February 26 2018 12:01 PM (UTC).
Finland's Radiation and Nuclear Safety Authority (STUK) says tiny amounts of radioactive iodine-131 were measured in the air Kotka, east of Helsinki in late January. The same isotope was then measured again last week north to Kajaani. The levels were very low, ranging from 0,7 to 1,6 micro-becquerel per cubic meter air, STUK says in a news release. From where the radioactivity is coming is still unknown. Radioactive iodine-131 has a half-life of only eight days so the measurements are proof of a rather recent release. The source could be a nuclear reactor, a facility producing isotopes for medical purposes or by releases from a nuclear weapon test. Norway's Radiation Protection Authority (NRPA) on Monday confirms detection of radioactive iodine also at several of the country's air-measurement stations. Bredo Moller at NRPA's Emergency Preparedness Unit at Svanhovd, near Norway's border to Russia in the north, says to the Barents Observer that the levels detected are «very small concentrations of radioactive iodine.» He says the the levels at the Norwegian stations were between 0,2 to 0,5 micro-becquerel per cubic meter. The iodine were detected in the second week of January at Orland [northwest of Trondheim], then in Skibotn in Troms the week after. Last week of January, the isotope was measured outside Oslo, while the two air-filters at Svanhovd and Viksjofjell on Norway's border to Russia in the north detected the radioactivity last week, between February 5 to 12. According to STUK, the radioactivity was also found in air-filters in Estonia. The levels measured raise no health concerns.

>What would happen?
America unconditionally surrenders to the vastly superior enemy

>"One Finnish soldier is as good as 10 Yankees."
>"What happens when the eleventh one comes?"

Finland would turn into a giant radioactive dessert, and so would most of the literal non-countries surrounding the boarder.

USA would stay based af

USA would sit back and let Russia invade Finland.

>still buttmad he got stalemated by finland in wwii

RIP Finland... why is this a question?

Every sauna would be destroyed.

Finland is a turn-screw nuclear power. The have a plutonium breeding nuclear reactor (Loviisan ydinvoimalaitos) and the precision machinery (Finnish Maritime Cluster) to effectively produce nukes in a matter of months from when a decision was made plus American cruise missiles for delivery.

literally nothing

Everyone has a good laugh then go back to their TV soap.

waiting for some fin to post that dum finnish sniper from 100 years ago

Yeah, who the fuck cares? Why are we exploring this bullshit?

Pretty sure those would be some of the first targets in any war. Probably not going to help.

easy. everyone pretends they're swedish until the invading americans go next door.

Well, they obviously wouldn't declare war on us until after they make the nukes and hopefully test them on Stockholm and/or Åland.

>What would happen?
Invasion of USA and establishment of North American Finno-Mongol Khanate.

Nothing at all. You are irrelevant enough that we probably would not even take notice of your autistic screeching from whatever lake you live in, Mustakrakish.

Can confirm, I've also worked with Finnish sailors on merchant ships.

>Well, they obviously wouldn't declare war on us until after they make the nukes and hopefully test them on Stockholm and/or Åland.
Åland is part of Finland even though they speak Swedish there.

Finns are so autistic that they could really do that

We'd be targeted by the entire EU because "Stupid racist America stop bullying Finland-sama! Praise Allah!"

We call it "The Upper Peninsula." Everyone's last name there ends in inenenenenenenen

PERKELEEEE
youtube.com/watch?v=l9ozxHOXf8I

FINNGOLIANS WHALING IN AMERICA

Åland is a Gibs Me Dats zone. Ålanders are welfare queens of Finland. Mainlanders don't like them.

Depends on which side attacks. If Finland gets the defensive position, then we actually could do a lot of damage, as our army's whole purpose is to defend us from Russian invasion. That is why we still have active conscription and biggest artillery in Europe

And I bet Estonia would be willing to leave NATO to help out their serkut.

What if we stole Mämmi and Sauna from Binland?

We would air drop diversity bombs to rape all your women and small boys.

We'd laugh and ignore it.

It would take a while if you actually tried to steal our saunas (there are over 3 million saunas here) and you would face the wrath of all finnish pagan gods and awaken Genghis Khan from his slumber

Surgical sauna strikes™

Just use your Space Elve magik to make the saunas invisible.

>>Finn army land on US shores
>>Finn army arrested by Cape Cod PD

Test

>ITT
>retarted burgers with their "muh best (read: largest) army in the world glory

Fuck you. Without your shitty nukes you would be nothing. Maybe attacking your awful country would be a bad idea but I'd like to see you come here (without your nukes and drones), especially in the winter and see how far you would get. Stupid burgers can't even into skiis. If I ever have to train with you faggots I'll open fire at the first chance I get.

>Hypothetical situation; Finland declares war against United States
>What would happen?
After dropping millions in bombs, the US would proceed to lose a land war against the finish, because you can't beat guerrilla warfare with conventional means.

True story: the only time I ever saw my Finnish grandfather cry was when his sauna burned down.

Are you really raging about this nonsense, or is this ironic outrage? Who cares? It'd never happen. BTW, "best" and Biggest" are synonymous when you pit it against a handful of albinos in a shitty tundra.

Probably the same as last time. Technically we're at war but fuck all happens.

I'm dead serious like you fucking yanks are when your faggot army whenever your faggot army is ever brought up. Semper fuck you.

(It's 0113 in Suomi. He's probably drunk on Koff and kossu and holding a puukko to his own neck.)

World support to Finaland.

>Finland gets tomahawk'd into the iron age
>then JDAM'd into the stone age
>USAF drops a recreational nuke on Helsinki
Gee, I wonder what would happen

Koff = yes (slight kek because im literally drinking koff atm), no puukko though.

Fucking lol

Kek, literally nothing. We'd slap you with economic sanctions and pull some (((tricks))) to get the EU to do the same.

I sincerely doubt that we would even bother occupying your country because gunning down white people in the era of televised war looks really bad.

>gunning down white people in the era of televised war looks really bad.
You mean really (((good)))?

Plz tell you're not one of those Finns shaming their ancestors by owning a Mora.

Crackshot 4'11" aspies that you can't get a sight picture on. No. Plus I like Finland.

Well thank god these kinds of decisions arent made on Sup Forums

This

Hahaha. I didn't even have to troll you. You're already a whining mess.

Ever hear of the white death user? I as an American would be terrified.

I don't own any kind of any knife even though I should get one for self-protection.

...

Are you fucking retarded? Why would the US ever directly invade your country? Are you really autistic enough to declare war on the United States without making any effort to gain control of territory that the United States has a vested interest in? Why else would you even bother?

>I don't own any kind of any knife
Helsinki dweller detected. Last time I was in Rovaniemi, I found a Mora and a puukko on the street after the bar closed.

No, even as cucked as whites are now we still subconsciously care for our own more than others.
>see: outrage over Parkland school shooting vs outrage over niglets getting killed in Detroit and Chicago every weekend

Here's a non-hypothetical example.

It would be a tragedy

But we're friends.

youtube.com/watch?v=1FEfxrXhf7E

>What would happen?
An uncontrollable amount of laughter emanating from the US.

Once again, America underestimates Asian ice farmers.

Glorious.

Finland finally go to bed?

>Finns and Koreans on opposing sides
does not compute

1 post by this etc.

I look forward to the rape of Finland by BBC

>ywn rampage through the land of Elf Women.

Oh please we are too good of friends, you guys helped us (with your immigrants) produce so much fucking timber and lumber over here in the states and you tell us all the dirty Ruski’s secrets. Why would we war against a legitimate ally? You guys are our snow bros.

It's why Korea wants China as a buffer state between them and Mongolia. Fear.

Those subhuman mongol rape babies get icbm'd.
/bread.

>so much fucking timber and lumber
You forgot Finns and Danes also mined most of the copper still in use in this country today.

I'd join Finland because they never lose a war.

No more f*nnshits