CIAs in this board how do I get hired?

I love America and American values and I am ready to defend it at all cost
I am not trolling I am dead serious.
How do I get hired?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=Mxc0LFMTzMI
cia.gov/careers
m.youtube.com/watch?v=d7IvsW9xHnU
cia.gov/index.html
twitter.com/AnonBabble

>I love America and American values
This would be a problem
Maybe you should apply for a job at the NRA

>I love America and American values and I am ready to defend it at all cost
they are kikes who sell this country out to the lowest bidder, you think they care if you love this country? what a joke

youtube.com/watch?v=Mxc0LFMTzMI

From some CIA AMA thread I saw, apparently you have to be straight-edge sober, or the CIAniggers won’t trust that you can keep a secret while fucked up. Ironic since they are the ones who popularized LSD and crack.

Also, you have to fill out an application.

you are obviously too stupid or they'd of hired you by now

I am in rehab right now does that count?

Why would they pay you when you do it for free? Go completely dark, buy a dual sport motorcycle and go off the grid. They'll make you an offer then.

That's it? Sheeit that's so easy! Sober or fucked up secrets never come out.

What makes you think they would pay a human to do what a bot can do, for simply the cost of electricity?

Shills are the first industry to get replaced by robots.

In fact, it has already happened. The bot operating here is proof.

The best don't even know they are hired, they just out spook the spooks

God tier intelligence communities own these peasants

Fpbp
/thread

Why would they hire Sup Forums when Sup Forums is already working for them?

Were you sodomised between the ages of 2 and 4? If so, than you can be programmed like MKUltra, Boy's Town, Freemason, and Illuminati victims.

Sodomy is the most evil power that those in the know can use. The Jews know, the Jesuits know, the CIA knows and so do most secret societies.

Watch your bus, kids.

You normally get recruited by them as you show potential. You dont really get to apply for anything serious.

>Butts not bus

Literally apply online. You need a college degree. That's about it. I got as far as the introduction video which had a profoundly unpleasant woman explaining the process and I promptly went and smoked some weed.

>You need a meaningless piece of paper.
Top Kek.

cia here
fuck you lol

If you are really good you can make a ton of money once or twice, and then work for nothing. If you are another corrupt soab, you will try to retire as soon as possible and "survive"

You love it because you haven't seen anything else.

>I love America
APPLICATION DENIED

speaking a few languages helps

>You need a college degree.
No wonder their shitposting is weak.

huh?
you can apply for any position at their website

kek
>kek
kek
>kek

If you have ever tasted a single drop of the liquid jew or used any nigger or spic drugs then you should honestly off yourself now.

Hack their sistem do they have to hire you

Spoken like a good mormon who !akr up 90% of the CIA.

Past drug use is a hard no for front door people. If you are recruited then there isn't much that can't be justified.

only in hollywood movies or in tv shows. Agents have to follow laws, just as anybody else. Upper-level admin might be corrupt, for all that I know, but 99% of the employees (field agents, analysts, etc) will be tasked with following protocols and US laws, and you'll have mormon goody-two-shoes watching your every move, seeking an opportunity to replace you with one of their own

1. Sell your soul...

Apply online.

>Thinking that CIA hires anyone but mossad or SJW's.

dream on, kid.

Have you tried googling?

cia.gov/careers

Fuck that, who wants to work for Mormon fags? I enjoy my coffee black.

>CIAs in this board how do I get hired?
How is your glow?

I did this. No job offer, just lots of time in the woods.

CIA pls hire me. Will shitpost for food

>I love America and American values

That's a disqualification for federal govt work. Sorry bud.

You obviously weren't spending that time productively ;)

It's kind of like ordering dinner at a restaurant where the menu doesn't have prices. If you have to ask, you're in the wrong place.

Fear not, pleb. We know everything about everybody. If you are needed you will be contacted.

>I love America
You're not tough enough to handle the truth neckbeard.

>I love America and American values and I am ready to defend it at all cost
>So I want to join the most anti-American organization that has ever existed and that actively seeks to undermine America at every turn

>Sits patiently and waits for the phone call to start rounding up the Jews.

They always seem to freak out when I suddenly start to follow them instead after we were shortly seperated in the crowd. Good times.

What if you overpower their buttraping mind control?
m.youtube.com/watch?v=d7IvsW9xHnU

I know I am needed, yet I haven't been contacted. You folks are an incompetent bunch. You will find no one better in sopa dynamics, yet there you are explaining spurdo to your superiors. Pathetic, you don't even deserve spying me through my cellphone anymore

Then they use you as training for other agents. Same is true if you can overpower their microwave weapons and other shit.

Will also shitpost for food
contact me

Well I lived off grid for a few years, taught myself extensive weapons handling and dranks lots of beers. Still nothing. ...

Sounds like every redneck in Kentucky.

Applied dozens of times. They don't want you when you are old. I had a really high gpa and all. They want young blood to mold despite your inner patriotism. Get em "while they are young," is what I observed honestly.

Close, Texas.

Eating the peanuts out of Anderson Coopers shit like the Hoggmeister?

The entire point of going dark and being highly mobile is so you can travel and hit targets. They don't want you if you use that opportunity to drink beers instead.

Yeah I've seen them. They never think they can be seen is their problem. But honestly, they stick out, BAD. Imagine looking like every other sad beer drinking sucker out there. Nobody would ever know you exist.

Then when you are camouflaged, you make your stops.

I hear that

Like your men?

kekkles

Like your mom nigger.

Calm down. They got you, slick.

you join the military, and show exceptional skill and intelligence, then they will ask you if you want to join, especially if you're a grunt. and this is usually near the end of your term, and you may not get asked even then. in which case you'll probably never get in and you join the fbi: the watchdogs/whistle blowers for the cia ;-)

MI6
AQ
92323323
USA 763(2) CIA

>I love America
resume already thrown to the trash

Heh, I'll bet their overseas missionary services come in handy for the foreign language part.

You dont want a cia posting. Look for the people wanting knowledge on Eurasia. They pay better.

Is that a porn star holding a pigeon?

Cunt

You don’t come to us, we come to you

You mad.

Honestly, I think we all kinda work for them. Some just get paid.

Get a good degree (not some liberal arts finger painting BS), get a Masters at minimum in that field, learn to write really well, focus on the BLUF format. Try to get published, and try to specialize in a specific area that we need, become an expert at something

Ypu

Deceiving sleeze.

This is no longer true. Now you apply at our website: cia.gov/index.html
Click the link in the bar at the top

That's what I said. ..... apply online.

suck the bush dick and u'll get a call

Be born into a cia family. Be Jewish.

CIA isn't American
You just disqualified yourself.
CIA is run by globalist filth.
Some rank and file may be human but they are tricked into doing evil by their leadership

>straight-edge sober
That should be easy. I barely drank at college, only when legal, and never got drunk. Never liked the taste save a couple local wheat beers.

Wants to work at clandestine spy agency to acquire knowledge of our enemies deepest secrets.

Can't google CIA human resources department.

SIK KUNT

This man is a retard. Real CIA employees usually apply through USA jobs or their website.

I do security for them and the only people that “get approached” aren’t made into employees their made into sources or mission assets.

As for applying just fucking apply you idiot. Have 3 years of work experience or above a 3.0 Gpa in college. Grad school helps but isn’t necessary.

Also don’t have any foreign connections be prepared to have everyone of your foreign contacts interviewed or just save yourself the trouble and delete them all from phone and fb now.

Don’t fucking break the law and don’t smoke the herbal jew. Don’t lie during your interview are polygraph and don’t be a pussy during the agency polygraph (yes you take two. One is a DHS poly and the other is an agency poly that is like a test. They’ll waterboard you and tell you your gf died in a car accident but you can’t leave). As long as you don’t ask to leave or cry like a Bitch SO will smile and approve you.

Also make sure to speak one foreign language before applying as well

/THREAD

it helps a lot if you are ex military, like special forces. the CIA field ops guys are fucking trained killers with bodies under their belts. FBI likes to hire lawyers as agents.

Other than that, graduate college and have a decent gpa? They really like to hire people who speak multiple languages, particularly middle eastern ones. I know a couple kids at 3 letter agencies, and aside from the field guys, it's government paper pusher work. If you're a smart person IDK why you would do it, it's shitty general schedule government pay.

lol, get a life fatty

You already hired like every other tax paying citizen we work in there finance dept.

depends on the job you want. 1.generally ex military officer experience with ts secret clearance is a good start
2.get a masters or a phd in some kind of data science, machine learning, data mining, computer science
3. connection

you will have to pass a poly which many ex military guys didnt have to do. look up sf86 form if you dont already have a security clearance, its a lot

Remember they work for we the people of this united republic . Even if they have forgotten .

uh huh. could you please fill this out for me?

cia.gov/careers

>you should honestly off yourself now.
why? do you even know why you feel this way or do you just copy everyone elses thoughts?

Quite false. The opposite is true, they'll dose you themselves to make sure you won't spill secrets while high out your gourd. They actually used to ninja-dose their own people until one guy freaked out and fled halfway across the state Jason Bourne style while assuming people were after him. For a while in the very beginning, operators that were brought into the fold and dosed were labeled "enlightened agents", and the CIA even went around having their own little acid tests with politicians and other higher up people so that they too could understand what was happening to them should they ever get dosed.

>we
>larping this hard

Just another user talking complete nonsense without fear of repercussion as this is an anonymous board

by getting bullet between the eyes

>posts coherent info about the global elite's trauma based mind control tactics
>gets acceptable digits
>closes with a PSA about bus stop safety due to a typo

go ask in /ptg/, STATEROOM and affiliates are there (from time to time ofc)
>t. :^)