God miraculously impregnated a 12-year-old Jewish girl (who was already engaged) because He needed a son that He could...

God miraculously impregnated a 12-year-old Jewish girl (who was already engaged) because He needed a son that He could send off to die because a talking serpent defeated His plan for Creation.

Other urls found in this thread:

scv.org/new/contributed-works/black-confederates/
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neo-Confederate
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

didn't God and Satan have a bet on who could lure the most souls to their respective domains?

and the purpose of the Son was to make it super easy for God to win souls

What if God and Satan are an alien elf tribe and an alien warlock tribe, and they’re just competing for human followers. I really like this fanfic. I’m going to develop it and make a new sect of Gnosticism to troll /x/ with.

...

actually the serpent was part of His plan for Creation

>devil rapes the first woman
>why shouldnt God use the penis vagina route to make the saviour again?
fuck off. also. what defeat?

>12 years old
where does it say this?

in the book of Shit That Never Happened

why isnt your flag a pear

At the time and location that was a common age to get married off.

does that mean God is a pedophile?

according to what?

why isn't your flag on fire

Wrong. Yahweh was born. stop falling for the lies.
It's in the Scriptures which is the history book of the true white Israeli peoples of Jacob, who's name was changed to Israel the man by Emmanuel the most high.
13 tribes of the 12 white European nations.
Why was Yahweh's name removed from the Scriptures over 7000 times?

God has the GOAT sense of humor user.

God can't sin He is god so if he gives you cancer or turns you into a retard it ok

>When God uses cheat codes just to troll Satan.

Enjoy the heat, but if you aren't white it makes no difference to you anyway.

>"bible never happened"
>"why isnt your bible flag something something"
you said mine was a lie. in two forms. oh for two. you said yours was true. in one form. wrong on that. i said why. you were wrong at least once more after that. you suck. youre fucking stupid bud. congrats. bloody vampire cretin

>"you're not a christian so therefore you're an atheist"

no, i didn't say the bible was a lie you fucking retard. my comment was about the 12 year old part.

no. a third of the angels said they were to fall to rape females but God and Satan had bets with Job and with the sodomites. now bear in mind. sodom. why wipe out a town of fags if without surrogacies they would have done it to themselves in one generation? that is because it is said many times they were rapists and God had to see to give them a chance I guess

oh.

It was just a warning to fags of what will await them in the afterlife, yet they still choose to lick each others poo poo in the short time we have in this life.

44% of "heteros" have anal. they offered their daughters to these rapist grandmothers. you dont know what youre talking about. san fran is still here. they raped everybody. and like all other passages on this sort of thing. focusses on idolatry and rituals. trust me. david and jonathan are not going to hell. they came with eachother by the way. completely mistranslated

>44% of heteros have anal
because you pull stats out of your anus?

[spoil3rz]He doesn't mean 44% of hetero guys take it up the ass[/spoil3rz]

it's self reported so it's prolly higher. bible focuses more on avoiding periods anyways. paul says it is good that a man not touch a woman. your marriages are fine. as are mine. it wasnt even david and jonathan i could stop at. but you ignored that. dont complicate things. why shill against this. it hands you pussies. because you worship pussies. that's the problem. let alone the mistranslations in sodom story. it says what were their sins. many times. youre wrong. nobody offers women to homosexuals. it's a complete fantasy

ok troll

no no no. by your asking that. you pull from other places and tweak and twist on purpose in order to be a troll. if God and Satan gambled on us in the beginning. then the whole thing including now, feels futile. but that's not what happened

scv.org/new/contributed-works/black-confederates/
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neo-Confederate

We Wuz Israelites?