I'm a hypocritical poser, and a piece of shit

DISCLAIMER: This will be among the most fucked up things you ever read.

I'm strong tall and 100% white. I became redpilled or aware of the truth about (((them))) and subsequently everyone else over 5 years ago. I have a secret.
Before I started believing in white nationalism and national socialism I developed strange habits. I used to be extremely left-wing and cultural Marxist SJW.
Now I act extremely racist and am open with my views to people. I get genuinely mad when I see race-mixing couples other races stealing our women. I talk about how much I hate gay people.
I'm a fraud. I'm a lie. Everything I am is bullshit. I want to stop, and be who I was truly meant to be, but I feel so helpless to my own lack of impulse control.
When I was 13 I thought it was acceptable to be gay. I started experimenting by watching gay porn and touching myself. I would show my bottom to older men and tease them online. I started putting fingers inside of my anus. I was never able to fully stop these gay thoughts and actions.
I am living in a state of two split personas. It all has escalated so much. I claim to hate niggers and faggots, but my ultimate fetish is large black penises. I watch interracial porn both gay and straight. Big black penises really arouse me for some reason.
I think I've become a victim of the same Jewish brainwashing of which I claim to be so aware. I've met up with multiple gay black men on grindr in the past 3 years. I also anally penetrated probably over 5 men since I've been struggling with these feelings.
I know it sounds sad. I wish this was bait, but all of its true. It's like I can't get the same sick twisted fetishes and homosexual urges out of my head from when I thought it was acceptable even now that I know it isnt. I don't know what to do. I'm in a really strange place where I feel overwhelming guilt for all of this and how horrible and disgusting it is, but I get uncontrollably turned on by it.

son youre gay

I've had gay sex with like 10 guys at this point, but I hate gay people, being gay, and myself for being gay. What do I do? Why is it so hard to stop?

Everything in life is a choice. You've made the choice to keep doing it, which means, to this point, its what you really want to do.

If you really want to stop doing it, you'll stop. Also, you can still be a supporter of the white race and gay. It's not talked about too much, but there were some Nazis who were.

You can still do the best you can for the white race in all other areas of your life, even if you have some degenerate traits. No one is perfect, and many of those who claim to be here engage in degenerate behavior also.

Also, and I hope this isn't to awkward, but were you raped as a child?

It's okay, you sound like a standard Trump conservative. Perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of. There are a lot of closeted ultra-fags on the right that tend to compensate for their extreme homosexuality (emphasis on extreme) by doing their best to to act and say how they think straight masculine men act and speak. I know a few of them and I constantly joke about how they're the gayest people I know and I know out of the closet homos. Not sure what you can really do about it, but I will say that you probably aren't fooling as many people as you think. I'm guessing you joke about being gay in some way all the time, maybe pretending to act feminine for laughs, maybe you seem to insist on trying to talk about dick size or showing your friends pictures of naked men, maybe you get touchy with your guy friends, etc. It's all really queer and you aren't alone. My advice is just stay in the closet and do your thing and the people around you will just keep giving you the courtesy of pretending they don't know.

now assuming this isn't another CIA PsyOps/shillpost that we have been seeing lately

Pray to God,this is not just (((brainwashing))) but demonic in nature.

You know you can be proud of being white, want white people to propagate and be gay too right? I know several hard core right wing faggots.

No, I was never raped. How can I claim to be about white power when I've been anally penetrated by black men?

the fags in the Nazi party were purged tho

I can't reconcile these two lifestyles. I HAVE to stop the faggot shit. I've tried, but it's so fucking hard.

I've legitimately thought about getting an excorcism.

yes and no.

hitlers political enemies in the party who were fags yeah, the ones close to him not so much.

Kill a nigger. It'll erase that in my book.

Nothing only are you gay you're a kike. SAGE

i struggle with a similar problem,but it is about fapping to porn whores,not faggotry
i have diagnosed my problem to being a jobless NEET who doesnt exercise
so basically
>Get a strenous job
>Excerscise everyday
>Play sports
easier said than done tho

...

Stop masturbating, stop watching porn, and start getting physically fit. Eventually, you'll crave the ol' cunt cream pie.

That guy was on LIVEPD.

It's almost like vices are bad for you and can permanently fuck up your psychology. Who woulda thought?

the pooposter is correct

The thing is, you can be gay and still believe in the notion that races should stick to their self for straight couples. Easy solution.

Gay people aren’t reproducing with women and therefore aren’t really a concern for future generations.

However there comes a point when gay people have no values and become so valueless that they forget that society is built on men and women, and objectively there are differences between races that should remain.

You can be accepted as a gay man who wants races to be separate while fucking other gay males. That’s not going to change. Yet you can also support homogenous race relations for heterosexual couples and understand that some races(heterosexual black men) are inherently destructive to society.

As long as you don’t have sex with children, and you are against propaganda predicated to race mixing then I have nothing against you.

shouldnt you post under a swedish flag?

Do whatever you want with yourself, but don't take it out on other people if you feel bad about your own actions. Accept it and be a man about it.

Honestly and unironically, Jesus Christ can and will free you from these chains. I challenge you to get down on your knees and cry out to God, even if you don't 100% believe yet, and ask him to reveal Himself to you. Come back in 2 weeks. Bless you brother.

You’re a faggot. Legit dude. Congrats

because you;re an intersex patient and part of your brain was feminized in the womb

How to convert to Heterosexuality 101
Step 1, become a top
Step 2, you start watching white-man-white-woman porn. Pic related should help you out. That's a nice ass even by gay standards, right?
Step 3, talk to chicks more IRL
Step 4, When you hook up with girls, fuck them doggystyle. Just look down and pretend it's a dude's ass or something. Try to seek out kinky girls who are willing to penetrate you with a dildo.
Step 5, focus all of your sexual energy on women, not men