Kotaku - You can't make this shit up

Number one news site for Nu-Males and Redditors

>pic related

Other urls found in this thread:

archive.is/aLAOu
twitter.com/playasia/status/763637864710090753
youtube.com/watch?v=6oun1pf1Ij4
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

Females in pokemon Go are cute, but what the fuck does it have to do with feminism?

I chose a female avatar on purpose.
but I don't go outside to actually play

it doesn't, it has to do with shittaku being a clickbait site and being a hub for fagits who make everythign about "muh strong wymn charactyer"

Hulk Hogan need to claim his assets faster.

>the cuck
oh boy, who chose the site name?

>site for mens
>literally turn you in a beta male or worse, a faggot

I honestly don't even think men browse that shit. Probably only feminist womyn and trans people.

archive.is/aLAOu

Have fun

Gawker is doing this shit because the site is being auctioned off next week.

They also had to beg the judge for $1000 to have their annual employee party.

They're unironically trying to get the last laugh with the cuck. It's more sad than anything.

>You can't make this shit up
Actually, they did.

How are you guys so autistic that you can't understand satire?

That body is 9/10. Superb hips.

>the cuck

Sup Forums got TROLLED HARD!!!!!!!! HAAH!!!!!!!!!!

>auctioned off next week

is that true?

is it the hulk hogan thing?

>kotaku
>satire

The false articles that you can barely tell from real ones are satire, this is real life.

>I named my character BreastyBazoingasBabe9—a chauvinistic choice I’ve come to deeply regret—and went out in search of some Pokémon.

What

>tfw you have bad ankles from football
>tfw you are now equal to the average reader of the cuck

I sit down cus I love vidya shitting

I've been waiting for a shitaku thread to post this

At least they admit it

It's their own onion, many people aren't aware.
Still pathetic in the end.

>you can't see other players on the map
>you can't see rapists converging on your female avatar in an isolated location
What's the fucking point

Also

>Female """Journalism"""

Yes.
Nick Denton even fucked up by borrowing 200,000 from Gawker's company account and not paying it back. This muddied the distinction between a company's account and the owner's private finances.
He declared personal bankruptcy a week or two ago because the judge is making him pay from his personal finances.

The sale should be announced/completed wednesday of next week.

Putting up lures for unsuspecting little boys

>accidentally

suuure
right
gotcha

>feinberg
>digimon
>CHILDCARE
>Amazon
holy shit

...

I sit down so I can take a dump at the same time

The "Cuck" site is satire. Its making fun of men who want journos catering to them. Its also really obvious and im suprised so many people here are taking it seriously.

Gawker wouldn't make a satire website

lmao that's funny.

what's even funnier is that I don't know whether to believe them or not, and i'm not sure which i want to believe.

>what is a joke

>the logo is a Black Cock

well, I guess that's good if it means shitaku can no longer make shitty articles.

Well they did.

I'll tell you a joke.

140 million dollars

Starless made me realize some ideas regarding the double standard on promiscuity, as I had no problem being drugged and fucking around, but when the glasses girl got drugged and fucked for the first time, it felt rather immoral.

>"accidentally"

seems more like the thing a bra burner would make when throwing a shitfit about all the "men" who call themselves "feminist"
ie their core demo

>the cuck
0/10

>tfw sit down when I pee when I'm drunk because I can't seem to aim and a contorted leaned forward squattish sit down when I pee in the morning

I think I understand feminism now

Normally when I'm that drunk I'm at someone else's house so I just piss wherever I want. I'll go into the backyard normally but I don't mind pissing on their bathroom floor.

It's just something a couple people over there threw up for a laugh in their last days.

You won't see it after they're auctioned off and shit starts getting shaken up, guaranteed.

Woah....enough for a PS3...and one game...

twitter.com/playasia/status/763637864710090753

That's just mean.

Pretty kek

>the logo is a black cock inside a white slit

>cock
That's a hen.

ur a kuk

If it was a cock the tail feathers would be curving down, you dumb faggot.

I honestly pray one of the sites/companies they called "misogynistic" ends up buying them and just shit talking the old site.
That or Hulk Hogan could buy it and just make it a blog about how he brought the smack down on gawker

that's the point, it's a beta cock, a cuck

Cheeky buggers.

The one you posted even has curved tail feathers. Look at it.
It's just not fully grown.

>accidentally
More proof that male feminists are just waifufags in hiding

Would I have to give my character a sweatshirt that was lavender or pink, the colors that girls like? Would she be weak, frightened, prone to bouts of hysteria? Would she swoon and lose her composure upon seeing a handsome Pokémon like Machoke? How would she perform on the battlefield during her time of the month?

This shit has to be satire. Fucking noone thinks like this

Yes, the point is that part of it is not fully grown, because it's a manlet cuck instead of a real cock.

>Not taking a dump standing up

Casuals

youtube.com/watch?v=6oun1pf1Ij4

...

There's literally nothing wrong with sitting down to pee

Never overestimate the self respect of a nu-male

Better yet, pee in the bathroom sink.

Enjoy getting poop water on your balls

Hey, sometimes your just in a condition where taking a piss standing is gonna result in bad news.

I wish there was more outfit customization, I would ironically pay for some cute dresses or whatever

What has to happen to a man to turn him into a nu-male? How do you fall so far?

Get this, just like you can go out to catch pokemon IRL, you can buy and wear cute dresses IRL.

Yes, but not for those reasons.

I forget which site, but a male writer said that men shouldn't be ashamed of their emotions, and that they should start looking to write "emotional essays", which are introspective, after taking a cue from females that have pushed for years for men to think differently about their masculinity.

So, Gawker made this site to make fun of them. To recap:

>Say men need to get more in touch with their sensitive side
>Men say "that's a good point! let's look to the female emotional essay-style to do that!"
>Make fun of them for doing exactly what you fucking called for

>2016

Desperation for acceptance and female affection.

I'm not a degenerate though

Can we bring it back to video games for a bit and real talk? How in the fuck does gamefreak designs such good girls consistently? I'd fug pretty much all of them.

Being raised by a single mother seems to do that.

>Doesn't wear his ball sling

We have those for a reason you fucking retard

It's because Sugimori is a cool dude that designs the girls to have something for the guys to look at.

Tbh if I'm pished i'll sometimes sit down just cause I can't control myself very well

lack of proper male role models leading to putting women on a pedestal and believing modern feminism without question

i still dont understand how this is supposed to be funny

I'm pretty sure this Cuck thing is just some bizarrely ironic thing they're having for their Senior Week that they're having. As if there's anything to celebrate.

my cousin grew up without a dad and he hates women

>plays pokemon while over the age of 12
>not degenerate

i dont get how its supposed to be ironic

are they really that out of touch with reality?

no I think if this site has been any example you most certainly can make this shit up. I don't know whats a real article anymore but then again gaming journalism has been shit since it started so there's that.

Wait desu senpai senpaitachi desu

You know, ironic. As in 'those people say we're cucks so let's claim the word' or something. Remember that gawker survives on outrage porn, this site is meant for you guys, not the SJWs.

It's an desperate attempt, same with Anthony Burch having the robot spam the word in Borderlands.

It honestly could go 50/50. Either suck their dick or hate them all

You fuckers told me Kotaku was dead! You said The Hulkster leg dropped!

>are they really that out of touch with reality
Reminder that they thought they could just continue ro make snarky comments in actual court and everything would be okay.

Death-rattle, same with ISIS throwing out a few last desperate attacks.

>voluntarily go into shit sites just so you can screencap some idiotic shit and post it on Sup Forums
>calling anyone else muh Reddit and some other buzzword of the month

This is ironic, right?
No one is THIS devoid of self-awareness, right?

>literally said under oath and in a written statement that was verified and approved by multiple highly paid lawyers that he would publish a hardcore sex tape of a a 5 year old
>thought that they would get away with it

>can't feel the need to shit unless my stomach starts to hurt/go bad
>only way of knowing is to sit down and see if anything comes out
>if I don't then I risk letting my stomach go bad

Even if I wasn't required to sit down every time I visit the bathroom I would probably still do. Its less stressful and makes it easier to empty your bladder so that you won't have to frequent the bathroom to often.

And of course I still use the pissoir/nature like a normal fucking person.

>a 5 year old
*4

hey, everyone! Look! A KEK! Let's all laugh and point at the nu-cuck!

I don't like where the Internet is going. I don't know what's a meme, what's satire, and what's genuine. I don't know if it spiraled out from Trump or Harambe but I'm scared

The whole world is just a giant meme at this point. Take nothing seriously.