So uh, you know them computer games right? Remember there used to be a time where dial up was the only way to use the internet yeah?
Imagine that, playing a video game on a dial up connection. I would email my mate and ask em, you wanna play something? He'd just say to me no youre insane. Internet was far too slow for a piece of media like that.
So the point is, online play, do we even need it?
With modern compression technologies, you can achieve a lot with dial-up.
Wow, Steve.
Actually defendin this lit'll bald headed mank?
DIAL UP IS TRASH EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT
I distinctly remember calling my friend on his home phone to see if he wanted to play Diablo online when I was in 5th grade.
When i got nothing else to do around the house, like repair and all that, ive been trying to practice typing yeah?
Ive tried em all, even Garfield has his own typing program and it wasnt doing the job.
Then someone told me about this lady called Mavis Beacon and i tried calling her up but nobody answered.
She didn't answer? What a shame!
Did you leave a message Karl?
A'ight, so, m'idea is... the N64 has that stick, right? An' it lets you move 'round an' 'round like you're actually in th' game right.
So I was thinkin', mebbe our console could use 'em. But we could put two on th' remote, since that's twice as good, ya? So I figger we need a game to push it. Like, just one game that you can't play WITHOUT the little sticks.
OK, so, m' game idea
There's this little monkey fella-
Couldnt even leave a message, all the machine asked me is if i wanted to buy another typing program.
The nerve of these people. Im telling you its a conspiracy against the average computer user.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
AND YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF AN AVERAGE COMPUTER USER!?
THE MONKEYS YOU TALK ABOUT COULD USE A COMPUTER BETTER THAN YOU!
STOP TALKIN' SHIT
DON'T
TALK
SHIT
FUCKIN' KARL
IT'S ALWAYS LI'L MONKEY FELLAS WITH YOU, INNIT
Fine, enlighten me. What's the li'l monkey fella gonna do in your big amazin' game huh? Collect fucking bananas?
Dial-up actually has a lot of advantages over broadband. It's really a shame the sheeple went for the cable meme.
... Yea... But it could be stuck in the ball to go around better. Y'know balls are circles so they should go around easely.
Name some faggot.
N', see, like, he's an angry monkey. Like, one day he's, I dunno... goin' 'round the park and sees this hat. "Blimey," he says, "that hat looks pretty ace. I'll try it on". And when he does- bam. Evil monkey. So he, unno, gets more monkeys to do monkey stuff.
So the kiddies would have to gather up these little monkey fellas. I thin' there's a lot o' money in makin' games where kids collect animals.
Play a record.
Ow'd you get THAT brilliant idea, huh? D'ja look atcha round fuckin' orange head inna mirror one day and think t'yaself "EY I BET THIS'D BE FUN TA ROLL AROUND IN A VIDEO GAME" you fucking moron?
...
man moths?
Remember when there weren't video games? Do we really need it?