Favourite AVGN quote

>Now what's this? Asshole Pong? That's not fair!

Other urls found in this thread:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=yl0VouhXD3A
youtube.com/watch?v=DyaF_gCKWsI
youtube.com/watch?v=xKN-utkoNCs
geocities.jp/bud_haineken/avgn.html
youtube.com/watch?v=c2ia8T4E2Mc
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

>Y yes you can have my wife for the weekend

HE'S GONNA TAKE YOU BACK TO THE PAST

>I'd rather press my face against a hippopotamus' butt while it muck-spreads. That's when a hippo takes a shit, rather than allowing the shit to drop from its anus, it presses its tail against its ass crack, waving it back and forth, shredding the shit all over the place.

>In my universe its not berenstein or berenstain, its bloodstain

>It'd be easier to pick fly shit out of pepper...while wearing boxing gloves!

...

>inb4 cuck lyrics

>It's like trying to stick your dick in a Cheerio.

easy?

TO LET YOU FUCK HIS WIFE IN THE ASS

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>At last, we have Ben 10, based on the TV series.
>IT STARTED WHEN AN ALIEN DEVICE

>What the hell is this? A ghost giving a castle a blowjob?

>Quality Ass? YEAH, QUALITY ASS! THAT DESCRIBES THIS GAME VERY WELL. THERE WAS NO QUALITY ASSURANCE IN THIS

>Of course we had to stop somewhere because there's a whole galaxy of Star Wars-related games so this could've gone on and on. With Star Wars Rebel Assult, Dark Forces, Jedi Academy, Rogue Squadron, Battlefront, Star Wars Chess, Lego Star Wars, Star Wars Puzzle Blaster, Star Wars Pod Racer, Jar Jar Binks Bingo, Death Star Builder 3.0, Chewie Wookie Cookie Cooking, Stormtrooper Tennis, Jabba's Farts Unleashed - that was a good one - Wedge's Wedgie Attack, Fishing For Ackbars, Super Sith Shit-Toss Tournament Edition, Boba Fett's Name Game - find his name in the fucking movies - Govenor Tarkin VS Count Dookie-- OH MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! WHAT THE?! A FUCKING BUFFALO JUST TOOK A FUCKING SHIT THROUGH MY FUCKING WINDOW!!! OH, MY FUCKING GOD, THERE'S SHIT AND FUCKING GLASS ALL OVER THE PLACE! WHERE IN THE FUCK DID THAT COME FROM?! OH, MY GOD!! NOW I GOTTA CLEAN ALL THIS SHIT UP! WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?!

m.youtube.com/watch?v=yl0VouhXD3A

>Probably the stupidest thing ever invented: The Speedboard. What is it? It's a piece of fucking plastic! You attach your controller - you get it? In case you don't wanna hold the controller with your hands? In case you enjoy playing on the floor, or behind a table? Then this is for you. It's embarrassing. What's the point? To "put the speed at your fingers?" Why in the ass would I need that!?

LOL! there it is!

This entire episode

youtube.com/watch?v=DyaF_gCKWsI

>Just plain-ass, normal, everyday, no question about it, no NFL, no year, not named after a player, not named after a coach, not named after the referee's pet goldfish, no quarterback, dimeback, Nickelback, simple, ordinary, unembellished, unmistakable, crystal clear, as frank as Frankenstein, as blunt as an atom BOMB, one compound word, it's motherfucking, goddamn, sons-of-bitching, fuck, fuck, FUCKING FOOTBALL!

youtube.com/watch?v=xKN-utkoNCs
>James's hair

What happened?

>Look, I'm gonna hit you with this slingshot
>*AVGN throws a slingshot*

>watching this nigger fuck my wife's ass is like watching her take a shit and suck it back in!

>This game sucks

ITS NOT NIGHT
ITS NOT
FUCKING
NIGHT

>Now why is it just a head of a panda? Why would there ever be a floating head of a panda next to someone's bed?!

There are dogs applauding?
I didn't even know dogs were fucking watching!

...

Age and stress

You did not get the memo user James is now based as he btfo of Ghostbusters 2016. Sup Forums agrees.

You throw it up, at an electric eel

UP, AT AN ELECTRIC EEL

>IT FUCKIN SUCKS IT SUCKIN FUCKS IT'S A PIECE OF SHIT

>...and I don't like it.

THIS GAME SUCKS MY SPIDER BALLS

The only thing better than this game would be for a leprechaun to come and bring you beer

A kek is a kek you can't say it's only half.

was that TMNT or roger rabbit?

an early episode at least

I think TMNT.

>You're better off fucking shit than fucking with this fucked-up shit! Fuck this shit! You don't know shit about how fucking shitty this fucking shit is. It's so bad, it sucks! It's so fucking suck it fucks! And I... can't take it anymore.

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?

>Analogic? What's that? The logic of your ass?

>You gotta be a total fucking whore to stand naked at the bottom of a building with your mouth wide open to catch jizz from some guy jerking off on top of a roof.

W H A T

W E R E

T H E Y

T H I N K I N G

WHY NOT JUST USE A COMPUTER?

I don't understand this cuck meme

I think you've got the wrong board, is 3 boards down

>To describe this game's assness, all I can say is, It's very ass

Why does LJN have to make every NES movie adaptation? Couldn't they have given somebody else a try? No, they wanted to incorporate the entire spectrum of awfulness:

>PURPLE for putrid game play
>BLUE for bad musical abominations
>GREEN for graphical farts and garlic
>YELLOW for piss poor lack of loyalty to source material
>ORANGE for "orange you a fucking idiot?"
>and RED for high-stress, anger-inducing masochism.

Put that all together, you got all the colors of the shit rainbow. Hooray LJN.

Those anons are probably newfagd
Everyone knows James is based and has been since the whole Ghostbusters fiasco.

Personally I always thought he was great, the whole cuck thing just stems from him letting his wife make a post on his website one time many years ago. They're married, get over it.

Laughing Joking Numbnuts

is mikes dick really 10 inches

ye

To be honest, I'm pretty certain by this point that he just puts a dildo in his pants.

>"You killed me! Good! Faack fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck faaaack"

>You fucking processing, stop being so BLAST!

>not framing posters

what in the actual fuck is this childishness?

One of his few bouts of cleverness.

I never followed up on that. Did she actually write any articles like she alluded to? I'm pretty sure she made at least two posts.

>He doesn't watch AVGN with Japanese subtitles and reactions from Japanese fans
geocities.jp/bud_haineken/avgn.html
Get the Niconico region bypass Greasemonkey script, set comments to Japanese, and prepare for an all new way to experience the Nerd

It would be pretty expensive to get that many frames.

She mentioned diversity for maybe two sentences in one article, then I think she did something about cooking, something where she answered questions from fans, maybe something else too. She also did a couple podcasts about old hard rock and metal bands with James.

not even. hell the fucking dollar store sells frames. and i highly doubt james is hurting for money.

That's alright, I guess. I haven't looked into any of it so I can't really comment on it. I remember a big deal was his wife pushing for diversity in the movie, which led to the black guy getting a white chick but I haven't seen the movie either so I have no context.

>Lester the unlikely. Its UNLIKELY this is gonna be a good game!
>Why does he stand still? Its like he's asking to die!
>Just let him die, who wants to play a weak pathetic character like this? Wouldn't you rather be a tough guy? Isn't that the whole point of playing a game? To feel empowered? To be someone your not?
>I mean, I get it, he's suppose to be a nerd. Well, this nerd, makes me look like Charles Bronson! Steve Eurkel could beat the shit out of this guy!

FLIP THAT SHIT SWITCH AND CRANK UP THAT DIARRHEA DIAL

>Wow, Bugs Bunny's Birthday Blowout!
>It was a blowout alright... BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS!

>I'd rather play a CD-I game! Yeah! Like "The Flowers... of Robert... Mapplethorpe..."
>No. I wouldn't.

I GOT, DARK CASTLE, ON SEE

DEE

>I remember a big deal was his wife pushing for diversity in the movie, which led to the black guy getting a white chick
There's no actual proof she even had anything to do with that, people just assumed it because she mentioned diversity on the site (in like two sentences in one article and then never again) and because she has credits as an Executive Producer, a Production Coordinator, and an assistant with Extras Casting in the movie. To my knowledge those one or two sentence mentioning diversity combined with the black guy kissing the girl at the end of the movie is where the cuck meme comes from, with Mike Matei's supposed huge dick being a contributing factor.

DEEE

EYEEEEEEE

...

DEEEE

My favorite AVGN moment was when he made R.O.B a sandwich.

I remember she did an article on like behind the scenes stuff for some of the nerd videos. Like how in that one halloween episode that had a skeleton, she was the one operating it and it was pretty heavy as it was a legit human skeleton bought from a medical facility.

>THAT'S HEINOUSLY ANUS

>Where did you learn to fly?
>And that's some cool looking design. It looks just like a toilet! Yeah, its a fucking toilet! What a perfect analogy!
>Well, thanks for trying, and thanks for the pong console. Would you believe that a 30 year old pong console attached to a cell phone adapter would work, but a cutting edge snarling jaguar doesn't?
>There's something wrong here, and you know what, I blew $250 on this thing, so ya know what I did? Bought another one, and yeah guess what? It doesn't work either! So that's about $450 I spent total on two dead jaguars! And these things are rare, so, when the only two I can manage to get my hands on just don't work, that leads me to believe, that these things, are most DEFINITELY SELF AWARE! They don't wanna work, you can't make them! They just refuse, to be reviewed, and I have never had that happen! So, THE END, I GOTTA TAKE A SHIT!

Probably something from that plumbers ties episode

Motherfucker Mike has a whole new meaning to it now.

Japs enjoy this shit?

I guess a lot of it is their old consoles

>You plop it on top of the Genesis like they are mating.
>God, I mean, do you think that's enough add-ons? It doesn't even look aesthetically presentable. I mean, its just like a ugly tumor.
>Did they really need all this bullshit leeching on the Genesis? That poor Genesis is just thinking "oh please god take this shit off me!".
>It's like getting gangraped! Both of its slots are getting fucked at the same time!

I have yet, in my entire life, to hear a more perfect uttering, of the word "Ass"
youtube.com/watch?v=c2ia8T4E2Mc

>0:54
>Mike tries to talk
>Gets cut off by James

What's the best Nerd rant, Sup Forums? Is it "WHY ARE THERE NO FUCKING CONTINUES?" or "This game is an inside out asshole regurgitating putrid anal fecal matter"

So you know what? Somebody's gotta invent a new curse word. I think I got it. This game, these fucking games are... *Sound Effect: Bleep* Oh Yeah! It's THAT bad.

>nerd swears
>WWWWWWWWWWW

The king of quotable lines.

The entire Plumbers episode, but still

>Well, the game is called "Plumbers Don't Wear Ties", so you could assume that he's a plumber, and I don't see him wearing a tie.
John is shown wearing a tie
>What the fuck? You can't even trust the damn title!

When he yells about the control scheme in that one batman game

I used to own this game, that review was very cathartic

>what did the good doctor do to make everybody so upset? I can see the townspeople sitting at the local pub, talking about him all day. "Yeah, I see Jekyll, ya see him? Ya see him walking, he just keeps fucking walking! I don't like him. He's an asshole. He wears his underwear backwards. He has eyeballs for testicles!

Go play some Dr. Jekyll and Mr. HYYYYYDE

>These are the worst games I've ever had the honor of playing, if you even count them as video games! People have discussions like: "Are video games art?", or something like that. Well, I have a better one: "Are Tiger games video games?" These are a caveman's version of video games! These were a step back in human evolution! These are the most desperate attempt at entertainment! You could save up for a Game Boy, or just go EH-EH-EH-EH-EH. Yeah, well, EH-EH-EH-EH-EH-EH-EH-EH-EH-EH-EH-EH! Just, what the Hell. These things, how'd they waste so much plastic to make these things? It brought the game industry down as low as it could go! It's proof that Jesus died in vain and legally changed His middle name to "Fucking"!

MY FAVORITE IS MUNKY FUCK

>Yo crush em like a walnut
>And smitter on some south "????"
>Put sum jessy on em boy!
>"What are they saying?"

>And since this neighborhood really sucks...
>LIKE THIS GAME SUCKS!

>This game isn't just bad, it's REALLY bad!
>I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING AROUND IT'S FUCKING HORSESHIT

Simple, but the delivery gets me every time.

that was an advanced meme you just did.

WHO THE FUCK IS JOHN MADDEN ANYWAY?!

My gf's favourite quote.

My favorite part of an avgn episode where he's talking about those boxes in the pong consoles episode and he suddenly throws that one shitty box down and it makes a really loud slam and the face he makes as he throws it.

It happens so suddenly. It's HILARIOUS.