"Ah, I forget you're new to Skyrim. Jarl Elisif, I should say...

> "Ah, I forget you're new to Skyrim. Jarl Elisif, I should say, although only because she was married to Jarl Torryg when he was murdered. Ulfric murdered Torygg, you know. Walked right into his palace in Solitude and killed him. Shouted him to death, if you believe the stories. That's what started this whole war. The Empire couldn't ignore that. Once the jarls start killing each other, we're back to the bad old days."

Give me a rpg or game that has a cool world but doesn't make me turn it off after 15 minutes.

>Basic exposition.
>need to turn it off
You're exactly the type of causal this game is for.

what is the criteria for making you turn it off after 15 minutes?

>hottest female Nord in the game is introduced to you in the first 10 minutes of the game
>already married

Fuck off.

who?

Fuck off hipster numale. Skyrim needs it's Fallout 4 to make the series good again.

Alvor's wife

Huh? But you can marry the two hottest NPCs in the game. One you bring a mammoth tusk to and the other you get to cuck a guy that rescued her.3

>Shouted him to death
thought only the dragonborn could do that

eh

The hottest is the one in the Dark Brother quest that will marry you once you murder extra people.

oh I just now realized I must've had a porn mod installed for her lol

Haven't played the game?
a few people (and a shitton od draugr) can shout through intensive training, the dragonborn is the onlyone that does it naturaly

Greybeard's aren't dragonborn
Ulfric learn a few words from them

>Haven't played the game?
I played it when it released, which was like 20 years ago. so sue me

>playing skyrim for rpg

Ultima vii or underworld

which one is your character

...

>Pencil dicks

dunmer :)

>can mod in any dick you want
>mod in a tiny pecker
lmao'n @ ur life

the guy at the bar

Why do they even bother putting in RPG style dialogue boxes and trees when the dialogue is so barebones anyway?

the default dick size in sos is fucking small
you have to set it to like 300% to get a decent size

sorry monster horse dicks would ruin my immersion

>non-pencil girth means a horse cock
I pity your microdick, user

Thats pathetically sad user.

>le tiny dick maymay
>it's literally average
you need to stop watching porn

>he doesnt spend 3 hours creating a character

>watching porn
>not just looking down to see the dick in your hand to get an idea of what a real dick looks like
Poor user, cursed with a bad dick

u r gay

Dude, you don't need to have an 8-inch gut puncher to be able to see that dick is fucking thin as hell.

>t. Pencil dick

>what is perspective
>porn addicts literally have a warped sense of reality

not even porn, just stop watching BLACKED/bbc vids and shit

>perspective
>literally from the side, with the guys body to get an idea of scale

I don't even watch porn. You just have a really thin dick.

Maybe you window licking skyrimfags can answer something for me...
In Skyrim you're supposed to be the Dragonborn who is special and magical because you can learn the dragon shouts...

So what about fucking Ulfric then? Why isn't he the Dragonborn?

I don't think he actually shouted the dude to pieces or whatever he probably used fus or like another one word shout to disarm or stun the dude and kill him while he was defenseless.

>I don't even watch porn
yeah i believe you user

>skyrim thread
>turns into horse cock mod arguments

never change Sup Forums

Least I have a normal girth, pencil dick

Because Ulfric isn't the Dragonborn. He literally doesn't have a Dragon's soul needed to be one. He learned the Shouts like everyone else has to by taking years to learn and control it. The only reason he isn't still on the High Hrothgar is because he wanted to fight for Skyrim in the War than stay on the mountain and follow the Way of the Voice.

Post pics of her pls

may have the gift to voice to a limited extent and master maybe a few words of power in their lifetime. The dragonborn literally eats the souls of dragons and can learn words just by being exposed to them without the years of practice and study it normally takes. He's basically the idiot savant of voice.

People do these mods but they still can't fix the dogshit animations, combat, and questing in Skyrim. Fucking modders and their batshit priorities.

Not born with the dragon blood?
being able to shout is a small part of being the dragonborn (for lore reasons i don't remember), it supposed gave the PC a vast sense of conquest, akin to a dragon, the best example i have is the founder of the Empire, who was a dragonborn

god I wish I was a hot girl

who said anything about horse cocks
horse cock mods are nice though

Who? Only one I can think of is Muiri and she's not a part of the dark brotherhood

We are the same, you and I.

Would you fuck guys?

the only reason to play skyrim in 2017 is porn mods

Muiri best girl

Loads

...

Not him but yes.

there are tons of animation mods
you cant fix the combat, it's fucked

Take your pills user. Can't do anything to make you dunmer tho

>Build big house in wilderness
>step outside
>FUCKING GIANT OUTSIDE THE DOOR

Those buildable houses had bullshit random encounters.

Would that make you gay or straight?

The draugr can shout all wily nily because they are the dragon cultists that were just normal people who picked the wrong side in a war eons ago. Skyrim is built off the backs of the losing side of a dragon war.
The actual dragon cult guys with masks you see would have been the topmost part of the humans involved, but they would have needed massive support from everyday fucks, hence the draugr. The reason they wander around like zombies is they were not only deprived sovngarde as a punishment, their souls were banned from the dreamsleeve itself for being losing fucking shits.

The more you know.

Dragonborn is fundamentally needed to maintain the barrier between Nirn and Oblivion. That's why Emperors need to be one and why Cyrodiil is always the seat of the Empire since it's literally the center of the universe
After Martin's sacrifice it doesn't need to be maintained anymore, so the Dragonborn's only unique trait left is absorbing Dragon souls

>buy cow & several chickens
>walk outside
>they're already dead

If I was a hot girl, straight obviously

Not that user, but why are you curious about this?
it's straight when you're (male)

I thought they were around to feed their power to the Dragon priests.

That's what I said. They are like the shrill lefties at your college harnessing their power for their jew overlords. Remember Mundus is fueled by magick intention.

this is basic level shit that is explained very early in the main missions

Draugr and Sovngarde is a bit unclear. A boss Draugr (Olaf One Eye I think) appear in Sovngarde in his human form.

>all the buildings and walls in skyrim look run down as shit
>most of the roads and roadsigns are perfectly maintained

Just seeing peoples thoughts that if they hypthetically, woke up tomorrow as an attractive woman but with their male mind would they be comfortable getting fucked by men.

>all the buildings and walls in skyrim look run down as shit
They don't though.

How come miraak can shout every 10 seconds but our dragonborn needs to wait forever?

How can you do the first quest under 10 minutes?
Tell me your secrets

I probably would still push for women, with curiosity to men.

of course not they'd still be the same self conscious sacks of shit they were when they were men

>thought only the dragonborn could do that
Get off my land filthy casual.

he had 10000 years to practice

Well maybe not "literally" all of them, but a good portion of them are and its quite noticeable. It's like skyrim is post apocalyptic or something.

He's using mods. I'm using the Ordinator perk mod and I have a 50% chance to make any shout, ANY shout, have a cooldown of only 3 seconds. Its a part of the speech tree that most everyone forgets is its own tree still.

Miraak needs to respec hard.

do you seriously play the game without alternate start

Didn't Olaf One Eye die after the Dragon War, though? Isn't he the one who even put the Dragon's Head at DragonsReach? I'm pretty sure that one might just be them not bothering to make a unique living corpse model when they had perfectly good Dragur one's laying around.

Same with Red Eagle, a Forsworn who wouldn't have practiced Nordic burial methods.

Because Miraak has had literal eons to master the Voice(he's the fucking first Dragonborn) while you've had since the start of the game to even learn you're the DB.

I think he means Ralof

I can confirm this. Still better though

>penis in vagina
Straight
>penis on penis
gay
>vagina on vagina
gay
Not rocket science

All of Nirn IS post apocolyptic. They have suffered literally an untold amount of apocolypses during the dragon break, then reality fixed itself and they all happened.

Be happy anything happens at all in a reality like that.

but is
>penis in ass
gay?

If you didn't notice there is a civil war going on and dragons terrorizing the countryside. Of course shit is burnt down.

Cause he's a boss fight based around the fact that he's a Dragonborn too. His fight was pretty neat from what I remember. Was he the first Dragonborn? I can't quite remember.

because the shouts like every magic ability in the game were an incredibly poorly balanced mechanic that may as well not have been there

Dragons literally just showed up and the civil war is also relatively recent. Many of the builidngs and forts have been in decay for decades

It's almost like nords are shit at maintaining things and they need the empire or something

No, but it's degenerate.

Yeah, he's the First Dragonborn. Sided with Dragons and hid in Oblivion for thousands of years.

If the hole you are trying to fuck is attached to a cock its gay

I hated how for almost every magick spell that they were nice enough to leave in the game there was a shout of it that functioned better. I did a no magick run just supplanting magick for shouts and it was even easier than I thought it would have been.

Shouts were a mistake.

It is in my headcanon.

>wears a skirt
>gay
Come on, now I know you're trolling user

This is a worksafe board you stupid faggot!

only if he cums