It’s up (on YouTube)

youtu.be/0J0KNjh4nAU

Wow it’s just like 2009. Who TF cares about this washed up retard?

/thread

I like how this video proved Yatzhee doesn't even fucking play the games he whines about anymore, or at the very least played this for an hour at best and then started bitching about it using online footage.

>So Pauline is the mayor of the city I guess, we'll never know if this is the same one because Nintendo is stupid with how they treat their characters
>So how are they going to handle the whole "hey remember when I saved you from a giant monkey" thing?

Which is literally fucking answered in the game

>Yes, it IS the same Pauline
>That "stupid masturbatory musical number for trailer bait" he bitched about was LITERALLY a festival thrown in Mario's honor for "look how far we've come since then"

escapist magazine cares, his literally the only thing keeping that place alive now

the pauline quiz was post game you retard

>not playing the best part of the game before reviewing it
Even worse

The "stupid masturbatory musical number" is a part of the main plot which happens only a couple kingdoms in you retard

I've barely fucking touched this game because I'm in the middle of finals right now and I got to the metro kingdom in like two nights of 1-2 hours of play.

This, he doesn't even try these days

They have to be paying him well, only reason he'd stick around attached to them so long.

Oh, and you know what? I'm giving you a second helping of (you) because right after I posted that I remembered that RIGHT BEFORE THE FESTIVAL Pauline goes "Hey! Wait a minute! You're Mario from all those years ago!"

This dude is still around? His shtick really doesn't hold up these days.

He also didn't see the T-rex in Deep Woods or Donk City.

I doubt he doesn't play them, i think he just doesn't give a shit and all of it flies over his head so he just writes about the little he remembered.

The escapist posts every video a week in advance, nice thread OP

I think Yahtzee just lazy and likes that other people help him with scripts and editing. He'd probably make more with patreon bucks but then he'd have to do all the work himself.

>Yathzee disliked a game
in other news water is wet.

HE did mention the T-Rex and dismissed it as trailer bait given it’s actual presence in the game.

I don't even think he dislikes it, he's just putting on a persona

He is trying so hard to be quirky and snarky and it's painful to watch.

He's always been a fucking casual

What? Yahtzee is only 30?

>complains about motion control
>complains about nintendo control schemes
>complains about world themes being weird

Yup that's the standard affair

>yahtzee """"reviews"""" a video game

He only plays a game tops for a week. The only exception to this is Souls which he probably played for 2 weeks. He's openly admitted he rarely explores a game deeply, which is part of why his favorite games are shit like Spec Ops: The Line or Soma. You can get the entire experience in 2-4 hours and without having to worry about anything locked behind difficulty or actually putting effort in the gameplay part. Souls you could also like for the same reasons he does just by browsing the wiki. It makes his job easy, and since every other project he's ever had failed horribly (his television pilot is one of the worst things I've ever seen attempt to make it to syndication, just him and 2 fags sitting on a couch, and at one point he literally fumbles through a trashcan on the street), it's a safe way to guarantee he doesn't have to go back to his disappointed parents.

agree completely with him, even though mario galaxy was "minor" compared to 64 it was an amazing completely full "feel good" ride, odyssey fellates the series past way too much, it's amazing when you reach donk city and do the festival, but when you add in the mario bros. cinema, the 2d sections, the mushroom kingdom, the 64 pandering and the obnoxious return of the purple coins it all falls apart fast.

I think odyssey its a wonderful call back and homage to the mario series as a whole, but 3D world already did that years ago, nintendo is simply proposing it again with a different skin, HELL, some shit from 3D world has been LITERALLY rehashed for odyssey, like the black turd enemies, most of mario's voice tracks for jumps and tons of effects like the smoke clouds, it's painfully obvious they acted like 3D world didn't exist and redistributed it with another format but in the end it's the same shit but with korok seeds type rewards strewn about.

>still being surprised that Yahtzee "Didn't Play Long Enough To Hunt A Great Jaggi In Tri" Croshaw isn't a real reviewer

NO! you're not allowed to criticize Super Mario Odyssey here Sonybro.

yawn

Was this post really necessary?

Honestly I've hated Yatzhee by proxy ever since my faggot friends who treat e-celeb's word as law refused to play Dark Void (a game I consider to be fun junk food, I bought it for like five bucks at Walmart years ago) because Yatzhee was like "well I didn't have too much fun but it was neat I guess".

He later went on to be like "okay wait nevermind this is pretty fun" on his blog but that didn't matter to my retarded friends

yes.

Loool i fuck*ng love based Yahtzee xD
This guy is funny af desu y'all just jealous

It's really fascinating when an established critic tries to actually make a game, especially the really snarky online ones whose whole schtick is how abrasive they are. Yahtzee's other projects are Suburban Knights tier bad, he's on the same creative level as Doug Walker, stuck in an endless role as one character because all his other big ideas just flopped horribly. Like Walker he actually can provide valid criticism to his chosen subject matter, but seeing how incompetent these people are is strangely satisfying.

>the obnoxious return of the purple coins

run that one by me again

>didn’t know one piece of info given in dialogue if you go talk to her after her story
>WOW did he even play it?!???
Gay

>Setting up for the festival WHICH IS A PART OF THE PLOT
>"Oh hey! You're Mario from all those years ago! Let's hold this festival in your honor!"

Yes, some level of reading comprehension is required.

>don't play the best part of the game
>still feel the need to talk about how they never tell you
Gay

unironic shitposting is still shit posting

>directly admit that
>[she’s Pauline]
>directly admit
He obviously got the implication, what are you even arguing.

No, man. Gettin every single damn moon in this game is not fun. You go back, you do the moon pipes, you finish darker side and you stop. If “your opinion means nothing until you get that 700th moon where Pauline gives you a quiz about jack shit” is your defense against criticism it doesn’t do anything but look like that’s all you’ve got.

He clearly DIDN'T get the implication faggot, because he had to bitch about how "Nintendo is stupid with how they treat their characters so we don't know if this is the same Pauline or not".

And as far as what you said to the other guy, Metro Kingdom is barely a couple hours into the game, she fucking tells you "oh you're Mario from all those years ago" as A PART OF THE FUCKING PLOT and the quiz is unlocked as soon as you come back to the kingdom.

Are you a robot or do you not know what the word “directly” means?

>No camera control in 2 player
>doesn't know camera fix button or have an extra controller

Sorry. You don't get to speak about games after failing to beat the tutorial in Monster Hunter Tri. Those are the rules.

Haven't watched it yet. Let me guess he mentions trump in a joke and compares it to dark souls right?

What kind of fucking braindead mongoloid are you that you see Pauline in a Mario game and don't realize it's the same goddamn Pauline it's always been?

When Link went from chubby keebler elf ginger fuck redhead into blonde prettyboy, did that suddenly become a new Link to you? Did that need to be explained to you it was Link? Are you completely unable to make the connection on your own?

Pauline is the main character of Mario games, I forgot.

>Yahtzee
>2017

For what reason?

>watching zero intelligence in 2017

how's middle school going?

Alright. Let's pretend for a second you're not underage. Let's pretend a couple years ago for your fifth birthday your mom got you a DS.

You're still fucking retarded.

>you didn’t REALLY play odyssey until you play Mario Vs Donkey Kong 2 March of the Minis
You got me on the floor at this point bruv.

>mayor of a city named after Donkey Kong, full of Donkey Kong Country references
>in the festival she throws for you, you actually defeat Donkey Kong like in the good ol' days
>the gifts you can give her are all bonus items from Donkey Kong

>implying there is any fucking ambiguity as to who Pauline is

Yahtzee being an idiot with the attention span of a gnat isn't something I'm unfamiliar with, but somehow I'm still left baffled at him at times.

If he actually played the game and gave a fair assessment nobody would watch his shit. That goes for all reviews. Only two camps exist
>people who just shit on games for angry clicks
>people with quiet dull voices who make half hour retrospective/critiques of games they've only just played for the first time and expect you to give them money on patreon for doing so.

This is the future you chose.

He actually does on multiple occasions mention Dark Souls.

I thought Art of Theft was okay.

His issues don’t speak much on the game in its totality so why did you choose this route? Even if it were true he’s still right about the trailer bait T. rex, annoying tacked on 2P, reused level themes, etc.

what who makes those long dull videos but has only played for the first time? I feel like most of the ones I know at least play it at least twice, and try to get as much as possible from those runs

He claimed it was only present in one level that's why he called it trailer bait. He missed the other appearances.

Yea this bugged me also wtf how can he dismiss the musical as trailer bait like really you didn't think that was nice? Only the song was is the trailer how it was actually presented in game was a surprise and imo a pretty cool one. I get that he's supposed to be cynical but when you try and dismiss one of few actually emotionally moving things in a game as "trailer bait" you just come off like you're trying too hard. Or you're just a souless sonybro.

Still trailer bait lmfao that t rex gay af

>Reused level themes
WHAT THE FUCK IS LEFT TO MAKE, MAN

If you wanted to complain about how the New Nuper Nario Nrothers games literally fucking rehashed the same bullshit for four games I'd agree with you, but Odyssey has:

>London but full of hat people
>Dinosaur Land
>Mexico
>A bustling city
>OH MAN THE ICE WORLD HOLY FUCK
>OH SHIT A BEACH SO MANY REHASHED WORLDS HOLY SHIT
>Low polygonal food land
>Bowser's Castle is now fucking Weebland
>Literally the fucking moon

The only part of the game I would call even remotely reused is that we didn't need two water levels, but one is a beach and the other is actually underwater so they're at least not the same.

WTF is trailer bait? How the fuck is 2P annoying? Also which themes are reused?

fuck off with your eceleb shit

Yatzhee go to bed

I know I'm replying to a troll but I will admit that I wish there was more to do with the t-rex, yes he shows up in other places but all there ever is to do with him is smash stuff.

wow that was crap
he clearly didnt even touch the game, this isnt so much of a critique as it is "blah blah blah Im a jaded old man and this video game series is STILL around!?"

Haven't seen one of his videos in years, but he was already falling in quality back then, dunno what's the surprise.

>REPORT BUTTON

And there you have it, an actual defense instead of a shitty cop out copy/paste shitpost. Good job. Probably want to put the caps lock away though it makes you look like a pussy.

I’m not a troll just what you call “a human that doesn’t smoke dick”. If you need me, just holler.

Doesn't smoke it cuz you busy shoving it up your ass. Mario WON.

but he didn't fail the g. jaggi hunt because he quit playing before he ever got there

>dismissed it as trailer bait
He didn’t though, he was praising it for being the one time the retro thing was done well.

>You're not allowed to use caps lock for emphasis because redd*t or tumblr or some bullshit idk

You're retarded.

But the whole concept of "levels can be overused" is fucking stupid. Should every game go the Earthworm Jim route of "level 1 is a circus, level 2 is my dog's asshole, level 3 is a grill where you jump on steaks and shit, level 4..."? At what fucking point do we run out of shit to be mad about with a game?

Shut up bitch. Mario gay as hell we all know it. Mustache in 2017 bfffffff

If you think I’m reading anything past that 3rd world greentext man you’re sorely mistaken

Whothe magawhat?

5 Days a Stranger is a decent horror adventure and Poacher was an okay metroid clone. He's a better developer than he is a critic. His criticism is completely fucking worthless, the retard thinks that reaction fire in strategy games is unfair for fucks sake.

He’s not really putting the game down. I think most of us who watch him know hoe he does it. He rushes through the game so fair enough, he probably missed some contextual stuff.

This video is a well old though, why isn’t there a new one already up on the escapist website? If I didn’t know any better, he would’ve put up and AC origins or Wolfenstein vid by now but I don’t see it on the website.

So he is more about entertaining than actually reviewing a game like the typical Youtube game reviewer.

>guy who doesn't like nintendo games didn't like a nintendo game

ok

but he did like it

>Suffer-a me now!
Okay, that made me laugh

The only thing to like about Yahtzee is Czho Mythos.

umm there is

he reviewed wolfenstein

I think you're just dumb.

So, you just give up?

>I'm not going to refute your perfectly valid points because I disagree with how you type

You're a fucking idiot

Nah. He actually liked this and he doesn't even put up fronts. That's just how he is, how he expresses himself. I can relate to the way he sees things.

You're just too used to Americans suger-coating fucking everything.

>magazine
What the fuck do guns have to do with anything?

...

Super Bing Bing Wahoo is an average, uninteresting game. Its unispiring, and does nothing new for the series. It fellates the past and is only getting a pass because its a Nintendo game.

purple coins suck dick just like you do

You have a chip on your shoulder.

And you make it too obvious. Don't wonder why people don't listen to you when you try to convince them of something. Cease wondering.