What am I in for?

What am I in for?

Attached: CrusaderKings2_Wallpaper_0.jpg (1280x800, 152K)

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=z2ZkO8CclhI
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

wincest

Shit

a bad way to spend your saturday.

>t. brainlet

elaborate

reddit

That's cute.

Fun
Possibly fap material

Attached: ck2_carnalrelationship.jpg (1680x1050, 644K)

>DLC content that you can't used displayed in UI and dangled in front of your face
plots abound

Homosexual

A semi-fun alternate history simulator.

>be a hedonistic old king
>join the satan worshippers
>fuck my way to the top of the cult
>fuck my own daughters
>keep breeding them like brainless sows
>sacrifice all my male heirs to satan
>eventually I get that chess game and im suddenly dead
>one bitch breeds a retarded heir that I now have to play
>he becomes maximum piteous and theres nothing I can do to change it
>eventually all the satan worshippers I've accumulated end up taking over my reich and killing him

Just fuck my shit up

Attached: 1491004656161.jpg (625x470, 89K)

friendly reminder to pirate it in case you're thinking of buying it
FUCK paradox

Only the passive partner can be considered homosexual, sorry. I'll make your ass bleed real good.

Why not just absorb the lifeforce of your offspring and live forever?

Game became shit when instead of adding depth to the feudal system and mechanics, they added worthless shit like China (not even in game, just a fucking dialog screen) and satanic cults.

Because enabling supernatural events give you events where you can just randomly die and I'm playing ironman mode.

A bullshit. My 5000 army with 40 combat leader with several combat perks lost to some fucking nobody with 3000. Fuck this shit.

I've yet to manage to play ironman for very long, it always fucks you in the most inopportune times. Which'd be fine I guess if you started with a strong realm, but I prefer to pick some nobody underdog and scheme my way to the top.

were you crossing a stream my man?

Straight up gay

That's right, keep saying no my little bitch boy, it'll just make my dick that much harder.

No such thing. I couldn´t believe it, ragequited and didn´t play since then.

eugenics programs
the AI cucking you and fucking up your eugenics programs
a metric shitton of paid DLC that's long since passed the point of reasonable bloat
completely nonfunctional multiplayer
mostly nonfunctional total conversion mods
"haha this game is so gritty and dark my frens ahaha" *community mods* "NO TOO DARK NOT ALLOWED"

>"haha this game is so gritty and dark my frens ahaha" *community mods* "NO TOO DARK NOT ALLOWED"

Whatever happened to that torture & rape mod, is someone still updating that?

nah but you can still get the last version he made off moddb or somewhere

Surely it's gotta be very error-prone and crashy by now? Or how does CK2 generally handle outdated mods?

it works better than most of the shit I use that's still updating honestly, it's just a few conditional interactions and they haven't retooled anything it relied on

Autism and the occasional boner

Hmm, guess I'll try it after all. Any other recommendations?

map painting simulator with incest
9/10

youtube.com/watch?v=z2ZkO8CclhI

>Its Total war but for auti- but for smart people.
pretty much yeah

last I looked (~6 months ago) they'd fucked it up somehow (can't remember how) but Dwarf gameplay on the Geheimnisnacht mod used to be really really satisfying. just centuries upon centuries of hanging out in the mountains, fortifying your strongholds and killing greenskins, [s]impregnating your daughters[/s], attempting to bring enough other Dwarves under your banner to resist the hordes. I assume other factions were also good but honestly all I ever played were the Dwarves.
the Game of Thrones conversion is pretty good, apart from a few things. the one that aggravates me the most is that the English is all over the place and the coding suffers a little as a result, but the main one that fucks people off is that because of the way the game focuses more on dynasties than individuals it doesn't "feel" like GoT should play. it's worth it in its own right imo though, and in some respects was running well ahead of the game itself for a while.
honestly most of the smaller mods I use/used have been absorbed into the game itself or are just cosmetic tweaks - ruler designer unlocked is pretty much the only one I can think of off the top of my head and that's far too easy to just OP up every character you roll if you have no self-control

>CK2
>hard
lmao, it's easy as shit

It's already easy as fuck to blob out and this fuck wanted to make it easier

Having to stop playing to jerk off to the thought of cucking your rival duke whose family you've been fighting for generations and now you get to fuck his Attractive, Lustful wife

>this fuck

Attached: 1338355110297.jpg (258x215, 26K)

Is there a way to add the pirated DLC's to steam, without using creamapi and shit?

Just download whole ck with all dlc 2 it´s that much easier. I bough the first few mods but it is getting ridiculous.

If only Dark World was better/more frequently updated

DW is imho bad anyway. The Disney and the other events, like your army fucking a bunch of magical horses, are so fucking dumb. Using extended traits is giving you the best of DW, without all the terrible additions.

sometimes blobbing is fun
>play as norse unreformed pagan
>conquer all of europe in a single lifetime
>don't create empire level titles
>have a maximum number of sons
>sit back, relax and wait for him to die

When I play ck2, I always create a custom dynasty and go out of my way to make it have as many members as possible. In order to achieve this I plan out and micromanage the breeding of my dynasty in order to maximise procreation. I generally play as Muslims because they're fun to play as and have access to polygamy. If I wanted to go with the most ''productive'' religion, I would probably pick a pagan one or Zoroastrian if I wanted to go with a pure and divine dynasty but muslims are much more fun because the wives are in competition with each other to become the primary wife and have her son become the heir so they will try to murder each other and each other's children which makes for a way more fun and interesting game, it also means I don't really have to manage the daughters making the game a little less micromanagy. Firstly I start a spreadsheet so I can keep track of the ages of the men of my dynasty and the ages of the wives of their respective harems. At first there is only one dynasty member but after only 2 generations it can reach 100 so the spreadsheet becomes vital. I use it to keep track of the boys so I can marry them off as soon as they come of age to 4 lewd 16 year old virgins. I'll deliberately seek out girls that are fertile in order to maximise the odds of each girl producing multiple children. I'll also keep track of the ages of the women of the respective harems of each of my dynasty members so I can replace them as soon as they die or reach menopause with new 16 year old virgins. I remember one of my characters had a brother who kept mutilating his wives so I had check on him every year to give him a new wife each time he killed one off, he was pretty great, being my best general and having more than 20 children, I appreciated him for that.

I don´t get it. I am genius, my wife is genius, and kids are fucking nothing. Why ?

>I generally play as Muslims
Stopped right there

It's a matter of chance whether traits get passed down.

cuck

It'l be fun for the first 10 hours and then become the most repetitive game in the world.
Paradox games tend to be like that.

Attached: tumblr_o1hpk1zKr71szo7eyo1_1280.png (450x1920, 167K)

Incest, child murder and jihad

Complete Middle-East experience

>playing CK2+ mod
>chilling as duke of tuscany, vassal to the HRE, slowly eating up the HRE from the inside
>finally get strong enough to declare independence
>30k strong italians vs 35k g*rmans
>barely win, finally free from the german menace
>crown myself king of italy
>fucking pope excommunicates me out of nowhere after i have send him lots of shekels to get in his good side
>start fabricating on his shit
>yourmotherfuckinglifeends5yearsfromnow.webm
>invade rome, kick pope out, make it my capital
>pope reeeeeeees from who cares where
>imnotdoneyet.jpeg
>pick scholarship focus, it has an event chain that allows you to flip to the religion of your ancestors
>jupiterguidemycock.gif
>i'm roman pagan now
>kill my wife, marry my sister, take my daughters as concubines
>livingthedream.png
>pope declares a crusade for italy, like i give a fuck
>everyone and their mother joins
>ohfuck.wav
>pull out a clutch win by capturing the pope during some battle
>crusade fails
>i'm free to holy war everything around to spread jupiter's love
>planning to steal the ERE eventually and reform the roman empire
That's what you are in for. I recommend trying some mods, mainy HIP or CK2+ after you are used to vanilla.

What mods do you recommend?

Take that Cersei

Attached: CK2 Game of thrones.png (493x478, 511K)

It's that why most players have a shitton of hours?

I can sort of see his point honestly, a lot of the people I know who played it bowed out in under 5 hours
of course, if you stick with it past that you're almost certain to sink 100+

Attached: CK2.png (497x120, 83K)

>294 hours
You are like a little baby

What steam ui mod is that?

Attached: CK2.png (258x114, 47K)

Because the game is niche as fuck, people joke about it being a game for autists for a reason but straight up saying every CK2/grand strategy player drops the game is retarded

>836 hours in ck2
>1298 in eu4
I'm scared to pick up another paradox game. Send help.

to be fair I've put in a couple hundred hours on a pirated version because fuck paying for even more DLC but yeah I'm aware I'm still on the lower end of the scale
can't remember what it's called but it's some generic cyberpunk skin

I said I could sort of see his point, in what universe is that "yeah he's totally right you're all fags and everyone drops it"?

it's called digitally unmastered, apparently
didn't realise it was displayed on the toolbar, kek

Attached: digitally.png (239x164, 10K)