Anyone extremely insecure about their intelligence...

anyone extremely insecure about their intelligence? I've always being told I was smart growing up and most of the people I interact with seem to be less "aware" than me - that is in terms of politics, pop culture and tech literacy. Then again most people I interact with are complete normies divorced from internet culture.

Despite being told I was bright, I've no accomplishments as an adult and the older I get, the dumber I'm feeling, the more I think what was said of me in the past were just false flattery. I mean, I dropped out of college and spent the last 7 years wageslaving in unskilled labor, I'm almost 29. I've done nothing with my life, it's shit.

I've being thinking about starting to learn programming and doing gamedev because that's what I've always wanted to do. But, my selfesteem is crushed from years of depression and failures and neetdom.

There is this constant thought in the back of my head telling myself it's too late and I am too dumb and it will be just be another aborted attempt. But I don't know how many more years of low pay wagecucking I can take before I walk in front of a bus.

I feel trapped in this mental prison, I've no social support either so Sup Forums seem the best place to ask. I'm just scared of failing.

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Future_of_the_Earth
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nice humblebrag

where can i subscribe to your blog?

www.reddit.co.uk

bump

...

Mate if you're actually as smart as you claim you should realize pretty quickly that life doesn't have any meaning.

Why does failure matter? Why does success matter?

The universe is 14 billion years old, a number so large you can't even imagine it. It's going to exist for an eternity after you are gone, and neither you nor any human on this earth will be remembered.

In summary, do whatever the fuck you want and don't worry about it.

no, I'm retarded.

>Why does success matter?
i know that free will is a myth, so you probably can't help it, but what is wrong with wanting to live a happy live while you're here? you can only be happy if you are successful in something, be it your career, your hobbies or your social interactions

>you can only be happy if you are successful in something

Where do you get that idea? You can be happy doing anything, even failing

It's you that thinks you need success for happiness

Never tell your kids that they are smart. Always praise actions, not traits.

>I've being thinking about starting to learn programming
Good choice.

>There is this constant thought in the back of my head telling myself it's too late and I am too dumb
You are only dumb if you do not want to improve yourself.

have you every seen a happy hobo? the drunk ones don't count

>It's going to exist for an eternity

uh, no.

I actually deal with hobos everyday for my work, and yeah I've met plenty of hobos that are happy with their life and aren't intoxicated.

Being a little too literal there mate, you know what I mean.

What makes you think it'll stop existing?

fair enough.

you're being a little too cynical though.

Get a degree, even if short even take them as essential branding in your personal marketing strategy because people will associate you skill with the degree you get. Prioritize working at stuff you enjoy, money and career progress will come eventually if you have passion at what you do and that only comes if you enjoy it at least a bit.

I was neetish till 30 when I got a 1 year intensive degree in something I found out as much more fun than my previous college orientation. It is different to chose at this age, you pick knowing what you like and what you don't.

Nowadays I am a manager doing stuff I enjoy in a good company, took me 5 years getting here but it is possible.

The main attribute you need? Being smart helps to recover the lost time but the one that makes the difference is Tenacity. You have to stay the course at times when you feel frustrated because things don't turn out at the speed or in the way you expected, this WILL happen.

Also as you grow up in the corporate ladder, unless it's a family business, you will find smarter more qualified people. Yes some dumb people too but the average will be way up.

i don't believe you

I don't often brag about being a minimal wage earning cuch who still lives in mom's basement. but when I do, I come to Sup Forums. lel

I don't think it's all that cynical to tell someone to live the way they want and not to worry about it.

The shit about the universe is just the truth.

You'd be surprised how many homeless are there by choice, not by necessity.

>You'd be surprised how many homeless are there by choice
That does not make sense. Elaborate.

They gave up their homes not because they couldn't afford them but because they didn't want them anymore.

They chose to live on the street intentionally.

it was cynical and encouraging at the same time.

but then they didn't fail, they were successful at doing what they want.

Guess that's a fair point, maybe you just need to set smaller goals and work on those first?

I'm smart, but suffer from major depression.

Great thread, guiz.

>tfw super smart and super lazy

Wise advice.

We can learn from this. Don't make the same mistakes his parents made if you become a parent: empty praises.

If you aren't a self made millionaire by the age of 16 you should kys. :)

I've also got a medical condition that makes it very hard for me to conceive a child, so that's out of the picture.

I used to be switched on when I was younger. But as I got older I lost the plot.

Probably has something to do with the insane amount of late night gaming I did as a teen into my early adult years.

That and I definitely believe I have a sleeping disorder which is limiting my oxygen intake when I'm sleeping. Slowly starving my brain for years, causing accelerated degeneration. At least that's the theory.

just for the record I don't believe I'm smart anymore, I just thought it was necessary to mention it to explain my thought process.

I mean I've failed enough, and everything ive done to date has proven that e opposite ;_;

>Never tell your kids that they are smart
that's true, I've read about the fixed vs growth mindsets. more to the point I think I was just another one of those kids who was mistakenly praised too often and most of it was simply empty praises. in reality I was probably just you average shithead. I mean how many times do you read user say they were told they were "smart but lazy" as kids, it's a lie used too often by teachers and parents.

>this thread
fucking hell
i used to be like you guys, but eventually you'll realise you arent actually more "intelligent" or "aware" than the other guys, you're just pretending to be because that makes you feel superior and gives you a nice excuse to blame your insecurities and isolation on

b-but i'm a mensa member

>mensa
eww.

Go to /sci/ it's where all the pseudo intellectuals cireclejerk.

you are not a special snowflake. you are just like everyone else, some things come easier to you than it does for others and some things come harder. You are just a normal person. people think kids need to be told they are amazing all the time when they are just normal. this fucks with kids who get to being a young adult and expect everything to continue. sorry kid you are not special. you need to work hard for things now. you wont just get given things because you are special as you aint.

so you want to be a game dev? then read up on what you need to know. you need algebra and calculus for a start. learn c# and unity and built a shitty little game. then look at unreal engine and c++. stop wasting time on Sup Forums and do something meaningful with your life.

and make sure you really understand YOU WILL FAIL. failure is growth. you have to fail to learn from those failures. you will fail. everyone does. the difference between people who succeed and those who dont is the people who dont let that first failure crush them. the people who succeed learn from every mistake and do it again and again and again until they do it right. so when you find things hard that is good. keep trying. dont stop. be happy that you are normal. being special isnt all that great anyway.

>gamedev
I'm sorry, you're mentally retarded.

>I'm just scared of failing.
but failing is how you learn

just do whatever the fuck you can do, m8. I myself am a NEET, and while I'm a failure, too, and feel scared of failing again and again, I still think I can do a shitload of things by myself.

one tip: take something, give it some simple twist, try selling that. for example, if you want to make a (web)app, take some useful linux program that you like a lot, and make a web/android interface for it. that's what everyone else does anyway...

>you are not a special snowflake
I know pham. I'm 29. I am just scared it's too late at my age, especially failing.

then don't do anything and keep making non Sup Forums posts on Sup Forums user

Not him but that is actually my goal. I have been living on my own for a while minimum wage, I can do this pretty well but what the hell am I doing it for is the question I keep asking myself, I think I'd be happier being transient but with a job, having less expenses, less but better things, a vehicle to get around and shelter from the elements, and sleep in at night, maybe a mini van or a regular van.

The foreclosure my parents went through actually had a bigger impact on my world view and way of seeing the world than I thought, it happened thirteen years ago but its just hitting me on the last three how fucked up something like that is, you can work all your life and nothing you have is actually truly yours, even if you have it paid in full, someone can always take it away from you.

there's no way out.

You do know you're setting up a self-realizing prophecy there? Either you do something or you don't but one day the time you have will have been spent anyeway so there is no real use to asking yourself if you should start now or not.

>That and I definitely believe I have a sleeping disorder which is limiting my oxygen intake when I'm sleeping. Slowly starving my brain for years, causing accelerated degeneration. At least that's the theory.
Probably same here. One of these days I'm gonna record myself sleeping to see what's up.

I can guarantee you that worrying about it will get you nowhere. The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.

I like this, haven't heard it before.

Humanity is expected to live for 1 billion more years before natural selection and earth, as well as the entire milky way galaxy is expected to exist for another 3 billion I believe.

Jesus OP, you are literally me.

> Be 6, able to read and write better than most 15 year olds on ability tests.
> Be 9, better at maths than most of the high schoolers I'd sit and learn with in after school classes.
> be 11, design, build and fly my first RC (control wire) aircraft.
> be 12, build rudimentary z80 computer from scratch. It could echo lines typed to a screen or printer but not much else. Muh sense of accomplishment anyway.
> be 15, discover whiskey, pot, slayer and pussy.
> FFFUUUUUU

So after spending most of my 20's in IT jobs that would support my habits but always felt beneath me, waiting for people to just drop opportunities in my lap (and duiscovering and surrounding myself with with analogue synths and controllers). I decided to go to uni at 27, and get a degree in audio engineering. I am now an engineer with a record label, and everyday my dick is diamonds.

> There is this constant thought in the back of my head telling myself it's too late and I am too dumb and it will be just be another aborted attempt

This is exactly how I felt before I went back to uni, and it's a mind killer. Just think what I thought..

> "well, despite my outward attitude I know that deep down I think I'm a pleb idiot, which means I should prolly treat my internal fear and opposition against returning to learning as I would the opinion of any pleb idiot, and completely disregard it. Come at me uni"

I don't even know you, but I know from the way you're thinking that you are capable of change. Just don't do what I used to and assume that you know the answer. Even if you think you do, ask anyway. You'll be surprised how often you're wrong, and humbled enough to loose the "I know i'm better than this" attitude.

I genuinely wish you luck user, because if you can get past this, you're going to find yourself on a level you never even knew existed.

This is the result of special snowflake syndromes that parents enforce on their kids. Compounded by the "everybody is a winner" bullshit that people are trying to force into society.

Beat your kid when he fucks up, teach him what he did wrong, congratulate him only when he wins.

>discover whiskey, pot,
and that's where it all went south. If only you had more vigilant parents.

What the fuck are you even talking about? How could anyone predict the time span of the human race? We are far past evolution in terms of what will kill us off.

A billion years, he says. Pshhh.

Get a life.

I mean, you really believe that?

Come on now.

Get real.

i accepted being stupid as fuck over decade ago.

we're not all smart and successful, someone has to be the garbage truck driver

>tfw failed a test to get in university 4 years in a row

no words
just emotins

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Future_of_the_Earth

Thanks brehs. I will try again.

Meh maybe you're right user. I mean it's not like we'll live to see that day anyways so I'm not entirely sure about the authenticity of my earlier statement desu.

>muh existential problems
>muh misunderstood genius

r9k is the place for you faggot

Why? I am the master of my destiny, they can advise (and they did) until their faces turned blue but forcing the point would only have pushed me further away. My old man, under mums radar and once it was clear that I wan't going to listen to the shit they were shoveling taught me a lot about safe drug use (in groups you trust, always test in small doses with new suppliers etc) and keeing my head above the water in bad situations. As I got older, I came to respect him immensely for maintaining concern without smothering me in it and I have told him as much on many occasions. Sometimes I wonder how I would have turned out if they put the screws in, but fucked if I am going to blame them for doing the best they could with their first child. At least they weren't fundamentalist faggots about it, and here I am, living the dream after what was, quite frankly, a fucking hilarious decade lived with zero fucks to give. If there is a true regret, it is simply the delay all this shenanigans inserted into my life, meaning I started my own family later than I would have preferred to.

You can't force someone to make a change, period. They need to make the realisation for themselves, and act for themselves, as I did, and as OP is hopefully realising. That's where the strength from. Recognising that you are in fact capable of making a positive change with nothing but the shit on your shoulders and the skin on your hands. Weakness is not failing, weakness is failing to act despite knowing you should. That's exactly where I was, and where OP appears to be now.

Thank yourself when you get over the line user. It'll all be you.

No prob family. As another user said none of this means anything explicitly.

Life is your collection of experiences ending in death. Nothing really matters at all, but still it would be fun to see how much you can do to obtain as many pleasurable experiences as possible.

I see it as a big puzzle/game and I want to win before I die. Fondling these tits would be a nice start.

You sound like a retarded Tony Robbins fan. The last person to take advice from. Fuck off to r9k as well.

still gives me panic attacks every time I check facebook, I see my ex-classmates earning six figures as lead engineers, cto's, etc. while I make walmart tier wages.

Great post, love your enthusiasm.

One thing, you might want to try formatting to make it easier to read.

Keep up the good work, we expect great things from you.

> extremely insecure
Well, I know some people are smarter than me, but considering I learned all the IT stuff without college (not programming, I'm into system/network administation) and got a job and even was promoted, well, I feel kinda confident.

Never heard of him. Sounds like a wise man if he rustles faggots like you. Thanks for the tip.

Yeah, I have been writing documentation on a studio rebuild for the past 9 hours and i'm tired of proof reading and editing, you get that.

Congratulations, you're a redditor.

Yes. Wise for Americucks. No wonder you idiots have such ridiculously high self-esteem when literally snake-oil peddlers and motivation speakers are your gurus.

A country full of selfish, egotistical pricks.
>muh guns
>a massacre literally every week

I'd rather live in fucking Bangladesh than among you niggers.

I meant it more as in self doubt, no self confidence in my abilities and my decision making process. I think most people understand their limits, except maybe genuine psychopaths/assburgers who have problems with empathy.