What printer and paper should I use to make a fake certificate?

So I flunked college and decided to drop out, but I can't tell this at home or else I will be kicked out. Parents are obsessed about me getting an engineering degree. I just want to please them right now and give myself some time to find a tradie job. They will surely come to know about me dropping out of college eventually but by then I'll at least have a job.

So what type of printer, ink and paper do they use to print certificates? From what I can tell, looking at my failed certificate, the ink isn't glossy and the paper is thick. Just making sure that I don't intend to use it for professional or official purpose, I just want it to satisfy my parents for the time being.

Please no moralfag.

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horseshit
horseshit

laser printer and make one yourself with reference pictures

Kek

Try not being a failure

Maybe if you'd not flunked out of engineering you'd know

Go to a local printing shop.
Ask them for help printing a fake "University here Course There" certificate.
And just get it over for it.

Construction paper and crayon.

eff.org/pages/list-printers-which-do-or-do-not-display-tracking-dots

>Handing away 3 years and thousands of dollars to the academic jew for him to endorse that you have a basic understanding of engineering which you could have obtained by reading a book

>handing over years and thousands of dollars and not even getting your goy paper

I love you /k/ guys whenever you ask questions on my boards Sup Forums and /o/ youre always so nice and still you get a lot of hate.

Just use a paper thats at least like 80g/mm^2 and one of those bigass office printers, surely there is one somewhere in the college for students to use.

It just needs to look real, they aren't going to go backtrace it forensically.

Only spent a year's tuition.

>Backtrace it
youtube.com/watch?v=HSNjoB5usWM

College doesn't have a colour printer. I might have to buy a cheap one.

Go to a printer shop or something like that. Dont buy a fucking printer for that It will not look realistic with a cheap one and cheap colour printers are useless crap you dont want anyway.

What printer shop prints fake certificates though. They'll flip out. Looking up if I can rent a quality printer in my city.

Why didn't you put this much effort into actually getting a degree?

Tell them its just for a prank bro lmao

>failed certificate
They gave you something certifying that you failed...?

College drop-out here. 3 years into a Mechanical Engineering degree but ran into financial issues so it wasn't feasible to continue for another year.

As long as you didn't accumulate a shit-ton of loans, then it isn't bad being a drop-out.

I'm currently making 72K as a Maintenance Technician. Try to find yourself a job at a manufacturing place. Overtime is an absolute life-saver and there's a good chance for climbing the ladder if you make yourself visible and competent.

Just get one from a diploma mill

I mean the marksheet says 'fail' instead of pass.

I plan on doing exactly that but the issue is my parents are hell bent on seeing me graduate with an engineering degree. If I tell them about it ight now it will be a havoc in the house, mother might even faint. I just want some time to sort this situation out. Like you said I want to find a decent job first and eventually tell them that I dropped out of college.

A true engineering degree (not a shitty degree) comes with backing from a regulatory body that inspects the program

In the United States for engineering that body is ABET

Most jobs that ask for jobs will not consider you if you aren't from an ABET school even if you are auto didactic

Additionally you cannot get professional licensure without it, so you know that little "PE" at the end of real engineer's titles? That is a state licensure that enables that

Just tell them you're dropping out to work on your killer app for the next Facebook/Snapchat

Why you think this is the best course of action is beyond me.

I've seen my fair share of people getting degrees who just shouldn't have gotten one (eg CS grad memes). But you have restored my faith in the college / uni system because at least it manages to weed out fuck-ups like with terrible decision making skills, and lazy fuckers who can't even do a tiny bit of study.

like you

Just print a temporary diploma or something. It's a normal paper saying that you haven't received the official paper yet, but you graduated.

So afterwards your mom dies because she didn't only raise a failure, but also a blatant liar who is shameless enough to lie into her face.

That's not how it works dude.
Tell them you are too stupid for an engineering degree even though you tried hard.
That way they can keep a bit of dignity.

Ah, yes those shifty lying Jews. I bet they disappoint their parents too and lie about stuff as well.

OP do you not understand that you are making the problem worse?

Just tell them trust me, it will be over faster and they might actually be able to help you instead of thinking that everything is going well.

Why not go to community college for a year or two and just tell your parents it's for money reasons instead of academic probation.

Fakediplomanow.com

Not even memeing

High gsm paper and archival ink.

$800 for certificate and transcripts, $500 for just degree certificate.

You're memeing friend

Jesus Christ OP, you're making the situation so much worse for yourself