Sperm Switch

>Literally its technology...
What you think about it ?
starpulse.com/new-sperm-switch-invention-vasectomy-alternative-fertility-device-with-1848550356.html

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youtube.com/watch?v=mIUk08iYZKE
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Why can't they give me a horse cock already?

How do you prove that the switch was off when you're in court because your wife is suing you for alimony?

This will please my ex-wife!

Why would a sperm switch factor into alimony in any way?

Not my problem if some whore gets pregnant desu, I'll just lie and say it's not mine. Her body, her responsibility.

If you kept it a secret a wife could claim deception.

>How do you prove that the switch was off when you're in court because your wife is suing you for alimony?
DNA.

Sounds both terrifying and neat.

Neat because less condoms and less risk of impregnating a crazy woman who lies about her birth control. Terrifying because it's a switch to your fucking balls.

she fucked your monozygotic twin

I like how you can choose to turn of your left or right nut separately.
Can theoretically find out which one does girls and which does boys.

Alimony isn't dependant on fault at all. Your wife can divorce you because she has been fucking Tyrone on the side, and you will still have to pay alimony.

Meanwhile in Ancient Athens.

By signing a prenup.

>Can theoretically find out which one does girls and which does boys

Living in America must be terrible.

>tfw your wife's bull keeps your peepee in the off position

i'd rather get fixed so there is no chance ever for children.

>is 100 percent vegan (no animals were used during testing/development);

idontwanttoliveonthisplaneanymore.jpg

This must be the most retarded idea ever. How often would you want this "on"? Twice in your life? For the rest of it, you'd be walking with a foreign fucking body in your vas deferens, risking scarring and/or inflammatory response rendering you "off" permanently, or this fucking thing damaging something mechanically, e.g. testicular veins/arteries that run along in the spermatic cord. I'd rather freeze my semen and get snipped.

I don't have one.

life is suffering user

You're not allowed that. The only time this thing would work is if it automatically recorded the times it was on and off and could not be tampered with. Otherwise it'd just get laughed out of a courtroom.

This shit should be bluetooth controled by the government and free for blacks and asians. Well, the inventor is German.

This

yeah i'm sure that sperm being stuck inside my body is no issue at all. fucking disgusting

This looks pretty and all but I bet having 2 switches inside your nut sack is going to be very painful if not actually piercing your fucking scrotum daily.

if this works and the switch was off the kid isn't fucking yours, you retard
or what are you asking?

it should have exhaust pipes to drain old sperm in a controlled manner

>it should
well, fucking does it? it's such a retarded idea. and what i understand from this picture is that the switches are inside your body? so what? i have to press them through my nutsack? what if i can't tell if they're on or off if i press the wrong way or halfway?

fucking stupid idea, for real. who the actual fuck would even need this?

Or a second dick.
Why girls can get dp'ed but I can't double penetrate one?

for a variety of reasons

about the only real advantage is if you want to make a lot of money and own a lot of stuff

Pressing a switch through your ballsack's skin seems like it would be very painful

this desu

gen test?

>very
good choice of adjective.

Why not just wank with the switch off to let the sperm out?

sue the company

It would be extremely painful.

So the switch is on the rectal walls? What if I get fucked in the ass? Wouldn't that turn it on and off? What if I have an anal orgasm and cum handsfree? Would there be sperm in the cum?
>tfw Schrodinger's semen

switch it on wank switch it off

>I will let some doctor tunnel into my balls just because I don't want to use a rubber
lol no I don't want to get flesh eating bacteria and rot my balls off thanks.

Will the company pay for child support if it doesn't work?

This thread reminds me Sup Forums is 12 and/or full of sandniggers.

kek please stop

What the fuck is happening in this thread.
So many retards posting. I want Sup Forums to leave.

>You're not allowed that.
Why not? If I am going to be required to pay for a child's upbringing the bare minimum should be proof that the child is mine.

Women can bitch all they want but the only reason for calling for a DNA test would be when the male has reasonable doubt to believe he is the father. Opposition to it is practically an admission that he is not.

That's fucking old new faggot

Sauce on that

Are you two retarded?

if you only need it twice why do you worry about it being permanently off after that

This is dumb. It's a hell of a lot cheaper, easier, and safer to just store your sperm in a sperm bank and get a vasectomy.

> Hold on, there, old gal, time to arm me balls.

youtube.com/watch?v=mIUk08iYZKE

The judge will just throw it out.

Your fault for being a stupid fucking cucks and getting married in the first place. Any faggot that treats these whores as anything but what they are (a cum dumpster) deserve to pay vaginamony for the rest of their lives.

Prenups are worthless, they get thrown out by judges all the time.

This is actually amazing.
Your wife sticks her finger up your ass and switches off your ability to force her into house arrest for 9 months.

>drain old sperm
Your body does this by itself.
Your sperm live in your testicles for something like a week and then die.
You regenerate sperm constantly.

You're a big guy.

at least I feel good about not being a normie

Because you don't get to use your two "on" times if you're permanently infertile due to complications after getting these things implanted, you idiot.

you might think this, but even if you get proof you are not the father, if you got the rest result without consent from the mother its inadmissible in court. enjoy your payments cuck.

That's so logically backward.

Just another reason why 3D is PD.

game changing. It should be offered free to anyone over 16 years of age. Just think of how many unwanted pregnancy this will prevent and how much money that would save the government. Plus you don't have to worry about anyone taking any moral objection to it (unlike abortion) except hyper conservatives.

>Inb4 condoms

Most plebeians think with there dicks. If this device is installed it wont matter if they have a "lapse in judgment". Also it cannot be tampered with like a condom giving men better reproductive rights and less excuses for being a shithead.

4u

I would like to do girls with both my nuts, thank you.

Did anybody notice this is the shadiest link in existence? There are 2 articles about discovering aliens right underneath it. Also "2018 with no delays" means 2030 if the planets align to make this work perfectly

STD rate will rise once the price point is dumb nigger tier and they hit OFF to not catch herpes.

So where is this switch and how does someone activate/deactivate it?

>You're not allowed that.
WTF

my face when I have to shit and jizz at the same time to squirt fertile sperm, otherwise it's just silly glue.

noface.bmp

So where does all the cum go???

It looks like it is high up on the ball sacks.
If anything I think there would be concern of accidental activation.

Same place it always goes when you aren't ejaculating.

inside you'reself so you get pregnant :^)

You are allowed that. There in no not allowed.

Thusly and for sooth allowance is naught given in this instance

Damn if it works well I wouldn't mind. But then again I love giving creampies, I don't know why but I have a fetish for impregnating women

>vas deferens is in the ass
>testicles produce semen
Fucking Sup Forums and its deep understanding of human reproductive anatomy.

So it has a chance to block my pisser? No thanks

>monozygotic twin
>not harvesting the twins blood and organs for maximum life experiences

Why would I need this? Is it supposed to be good for my balls to take a break from sperm makin or something?

they don't have the same DNA. They still have epigenetic changes

>So it has a chance to block my pisser? No thanks
No. Literally no chance at all.

"All the time" is a bit of a stretch. Unless the prenup is ridiculous, it's probably gonna hold up in court. If you're really worried, just get it notarized.

this is gay as fuck, when the switch is closed you are literally nutting inside your own ballsack

Don't think nobody noticed your virgin ass just because it has been more than an hour with no replies.

:^)

>secret effect can be used by CIA to electrocute you balls remotely

You still ejaculate, it just doesn't have semen mixed in it.

Shooting blanks so to say.

Nocturnal emission?

Think how big ur ballsack will get and how bad it would smell if it busted open

>it should be offered for free
nah, Its going to cost more than 15 times your yearly salary

It should at least be free for jews.

>Not just going to Japan and fucking Japanese girls
No mandatory child care lads

I had a dream where I had two cocks. It was pretty cool.

Gotta learn the language first. Working on it.

I'm the only one that this shit sound like nightmare fuel thinking the switch could get stuck or the conduct that connect it break by some kind of obstruction or overload?

Why not just wear a condom or get a vasectomy?

The switch sounds hella dangerous and more expensive than a vasectomy

desu the Bible already has the answer you need. Just don't have sex with women until you're certain they're the one you want to bear your spawn.

>I would like to do girls with both my nuts
>girl (noun) 1. a female child


literally admited being a pedo on a public board